Memories of Luke
by september25
Summary: Noah,16,wasn't meant to grow up in a trailer in Ohio. Dreams of a beautiful home, parents and a brother haunt him. Going on his instincts he sets out alone to find out if his dreams are a reality or dreams that protect him from his reality. NUKE & Family


Title- **Memories of Luke**

~~~~~~~~~~~

About This Story- Kidnapping. Dream sequences (in italics) are throughout the beginning chapters. The thoughts of my characters are also in italics. Characters meet, find friendship, and more.

Characters – Miles Stewart/Noah, Connie, and Earl Stewart. Lee Nickols (Miles's friend). Two little boys (will be obvious who they are) Luke and his two friends (Bailey and Alan) and Lilly and Holden. Small parts by Jack, Emma, Lucinda, others.

Warning/Rating: R at times for language, inappropriate remarks and 'touching' of a minor by an adult. Luke and other person pairing (no penetration if you're worried about reading about him having sex with someone other than Noah. Other sexual acts though) There is no Aaron, Faith, Natalie, or Ethan in Luke's family. Like I state below, OOC.

Just a REMINDER= Read this story at your own risk for the reasons stated below that cover my butt against those that begin an ooc and au story of mine, then rag on me because it doesn't follow the show.

A) This story is A.U (alternate universe) = I explore the possibilities of pivotal changes made to characters' history, motivations or environment.

B) O.O.C. (out of character) = My main characters have different personalities, behaviors, jobs, ages, etc....

C) I DON'T write cannon. Meaning of cannon = In terms of a fictional universe, it's a body of material that is considered to be "genuine" or "official", that can be directly referenced as, or as if it were, material produced by the original author or creator of a series. As defined at

D)DISCLAIMER- All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and storyline/plot are the property of september(25) and written by the forenamed author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter-1

~~~~~~*~~

_"Nowah, I'm scared to go to school tomorrow." the little boy sitting next to him in a sandbox said in a fearful voice, scooping out sand with a blue plastic shovel and filing the orange bucket._

"Wuke." he heard himself say, "I'll be with you. It's okay."

"What if the other kids don't like me? What if they hate me and push me down?" the little blond boy asked, his hair warmed by the sun; the breeze tousling it around gently.

"I'll punch them all." he giggled, causing the one he'd called 'Wuke' to laugh too. It was then he noticed the boy's smile and felt so much love for him. "I won't let anyone hurt you." he said. 

Miles tossed and turned as he tried to wake up.

_"Let's go in and get cookies!" he heard and watched himself stand up._

"Wait Nowah." the little boy said.

"What?" he asked, watching this boy near him and take his hand and question him, "After, can we play Dinosaurs?"

_"Oh Yeah!" he yelled with a grin. "If mom will let us before we take a bath."_

"We could play dinosaurs in the bath." the blond said, swinging his arm with his. He watched himself and this boy enter the house, then saw a beautiful woman smile at them. She crouched down and asked, "How are my two handsome men today?" 

Just as he was about to answer, Miles Stewart was drawn out of sleep by a truck backfiring in the trailer park where he lived with his mother and father. It was nearing 5am. His mother, Connie was a cleaning lady. She'd put an ad in the shopper stopper for work and had a few homes she cleaned once a week. His father, Earl, worked at the only mechanic station in town.

Miles opened his eyes and sighed, rolled over and fell right back to sleep.

_He was walking on the sidewalk holding the little blond boy's hand. They were singing,_

"If all of the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops,  
Oh what a rain it would be.  
I'd stand around with my mouth open wide.  
AH ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!"

He watched himself and the boy giggle and with laughter, then start another round. Abruptly, he was jolted **into**_ the dream, as the young dark haired boy, and looked at the one he'd been calling 'Wuke'._

"Nowah? Who are you?"

"Who am I---?" Miles asked the boy.

~~~~~~

He woke in a start, bolting upright and gasping after the blond boy had smiled at him. Miles's heart was thundering in his chest. These dreams frightened him. _Wow! I haven't had dreams like that in years! Two in a row!_ He thought to himself.

Miles had questioned his parents about the little boy in his dreams when he was almost six, after he'd have these vivid dreams. They always told him he had a brother that died. It made him sad to know he had a brother and couldn't remember him, other than in his dreams. He'd asked what his brother's name was because 'Wuke' could be anything to an almost six year old. He asked why his brother called him 'Nowah' and what that meant. His parents told him not to ask so many questions. The next time he dreamed about his brother, which wasn't too many days later, he wanted to know more about him. His dreams showed they'd lived somewhere else, in a big house and yard, not in a trailer park. Again, he was told to shut up. "But-" he would say, and was told to go to his room. Eventually he stopped asking and kept his dreams to himself, then as life continued, the dreams became infrequent and eventually stopped.

As a child, his room consisted of a mattress and a few used toys and clothes that were too big for him. He wasn't allowed to play outside or go to school and he didn't know why, other than what he was told- that bad men were after him. So he stayed inside out of fear. The next year he was enrolled in kindergarten. He was shy because he didn't know who to trust, but he eventually came out of his shell. His teacher had nothing but praises for him. He was a great listener, got his work done in time and wasn't distracted at all. He helped put the chairs up at the end of the day and sharpened pencils for her. He always wore a smile.

Miles was now sixteen and the dreams of the blond boy had been gradually coming back. He really wanted to ask his mother about his brother, but he didn't want to bring up painful memories for her. He even scrounged around the dirty trailer to find pictures of his blond brother, but there were no photos of him in any of the albums. It made him curious that there were no baby pictures of himself as an infant either.

Miles laid back in his bed. Now he had a twin bed frame, but the same old uncomfortable mattress. He couldn't wait to get out of this town. He knew he was better than this and deserved better than what his parents settled for. _I am not marrying when I'm 18, getting the first job that comes my way and living in a trailer! No way! I'm leaving this town as fast as I can step on a gas pedal. I need a car, I need money I need a license! I wish I was rich! Why couldn't I have been born into someone else's family? I'm white trailer trash, that's all I am and probably will be._

Miles fell back to sleep, dreaming not of 'Wuke' or his blond head, but of Brody. A senior and the school's hunky, handsome quarterback. Whenever Miles caught a glimpse of him, he felt hot all over. He knew what that meant. He wasn't stupid and he sure wasn't stupid enough to tell anyone. Not even his best friend, Lee.

Lee was shorter and stockier than Miles. He had straight light brown hair and brown eyes. He was funny and not as intelligent as Miles, but he was cool and had been there for Miles since second grade. They bonded and Lee's parents had always called to ask if Miles could come for playdates when they were young. Most of the time Miles's parents let him.

Miles rose out of bed and gathered his things for a shower. When he was done showering, he took his time and combed his hair. Looking in the mirror at the tall, blue eyed boy with wavy dark hair looking back at him, he asked, "Who are you?" then jumped a foot when Earl knocked and told him to get the hell out of the damn bathroom because he had to get ready for work and Miles had nothing to do but sit in a classroom all day.

His parents were very coarse and said what were on their minds. He was glad Lee always wanted Miles to go to his house and not want to come to the trailer to hang out. Lee had a nice home, nice parents, an older brother and a younger sister. Miles loved it there and wished he could be adopted by Lee's parents.

"I'm done Earl, just a sec." Miles said. His dad didn't want him to call him 'dad' for some reason, for as long as Miles could remember. On the other hand, his mother insisted that he call her mom or mother and it was mommy when he was little.

""Bout time." Earl said to Miles and pushed his beer belly through the door. Squeezing Miles to the door frame.

"Go tell your mother that I'll take some of those eggs she makes with the onions and sausage." Earl ordered before he slammed the door in Miles's face.

"Yes sir." Miles saluted the closed door with his middle finger and walked the short distance to the kitchen. His mother was flitting about in a low cut negligee. When she saw him, she grinned.

"Miles! My baby." she oozed sweet words that made him wince. She pinched his cheeks and kissed him right on the lips. "How's my boy? Boy!" she laughed as if what she'd said was outrageous. "You're becoming quite a handsome young man." She squeezed his muscled arm and "oohed."

"Mom, please." Miles sat at the table. For as long as he could remember, this too had been a constant. His mother was overly motherly. It embarrassed him. What mother kisses her 16 year old son on the lips? Was that normal? Either way, it made him very uncomfortable.

"You are Miles, you're a very handsome man. I bet the girls are noticing too." she stared at him as if she were jealous.

"Not really." Miles lowered his eyes. "Uh, Earl wants eggs with onions and bacon... or was it sausage?"

Connie leaned over the table and asked, "Do you have your eyes on some girl?"

Miles looked up and quickly looked away. "Mom, your... um," he pointed and wagged his finger. "You should cover up."

Connie stood up and giggled. "Oops, but I know you already know what tits look like Miles. I'm sure you've seen them before."

"No."

"Hm, I doubt that." Connie sashayed to the fridge to get cracking eggs. Earl would be ornery if his breakfast wasn't on time.

Miles ate fast at every meal so he didn't have to spend time around the dad that seemed indifferent to the fact he had a son and the mother who was too flirty. As soon as he was done, he brushed his teeth, got his bag and waited outside for Lee to pick him up for school. Miles envied Lee. Not only could his friend drive, but he had his own car. Miles grinned as Lee pulled up to the dingy, once white trailer.

"You gotta move, dude." Lee laughed at Miles.

Miles was used to the teasing. "I know. I think I was adopted and my real family thought this would be a funny joke to play on me, but I'm not getting the humor here." he muttered as Lee sped off, leaving a plume of dust to coat the trailers windows.

"I hate this town, I hate that effin' trailer and my parents are... I don't know. My dad hates me and my mom is like... on drugs or something."

"What? And you're not hooking me up?" Lee laughed. "What do you mean?" he asked in a more serious tone when he saw Miles was serious.

"I don't know. Does your mom kiss you goodbye, good morning, good night and tuck you in?" Miles asked.

Lee began to laugh and laugh.

Miles felt very embarrassed, but if he didn't ask, how was he to know?

"Are you serious? Dude, the only place my mom is allowed to kiss me is on my ass! Get it? Kiss my ass."

Miles got that joke, but went right for another question. "She never kisses you?"

"Once in a while she'll kiss me on the cheek. Man, you shouldn't let your mom kiss you on the mouth after the age of three or something."

"Oh." Miles nodded.

"Sooo....?" Lee asked, wondering if something worse was bothering Miles. "What else does she do?"

Miles licked his lips. He knew he could trust Lee with his life. "She kisses me, like I said, and sometimes... she keeps her lips there for a little longer."

"Ugh! Are you fuckin' serious?"

Miles nodded his head hard. "What should I do? How bad is that. Will I be put in jail?"

"You? Not you, her." Lee exclaimed. "You're mom is hot, but what she's doing to you... your own mom... Jesus Christ Miles." He shook his head. "That's just wrong."

"I didn't tell you, this morning I think... no, I KNOW she did this on purpose."

"What?"

"Bent over to talk to me and she was wearing her nightie thing and no bra." Miles said with a sour look on his face.

"OH brother!" Lee yelled.

"About that..."

"You've been having dreams about the little blond boy again?" Lee glanced at Miles.

"Yes. I wish I could remember more, you know? There's no trace of him in the photo albums at home. I couldn't find anything and Mom and Earl won't tell me his first name... all I know is his name is 'Wuke'. Silly, isn't it?"

"Yea, but if you look up your last name on the computer at school under 'records', your parent's names will show up and you don't have to know your brother's name. It'll just show up, same with yours."

"No it doesn't. I looked for my name when I tried to look up Connie and Earl Stewart in the records. They're not there and I'm not listed either."

"Interesting." Lee rubbed his chin. "I should ask my dad."

"NO! Please Lee, don't tell anyone about this. You know how Earl gets if people go digging in his shit." Miles stated with fright.

"I know. I've seen your face afterward. Still, you should tell the school counselor about your mom. She's whacked."

"I can handle it, I think. I stay in my room when I come home from school- until Earl gets home."

"You can't hide forever."

"I know, but I'll be eighteen in two years, that's not too far away, right?"

"I guess not." Lee sighed. He pulled into the parking lot and noted, "There's that tank of a jock, Brody. Look at him wearing that pink baseball cap. He's so gay!"

Miles looked longingly at Brody, who was with other senior guys, talking and laughing. "Yeaaa-" Miles whispered. _Brody looks really hot. He's got nice thick, muscular thighs and a tight little butt. I wish I had gym with him. I'd love to run into him in the showers. I bet he's hung._

"Dude, what's up with you?" Lee asked, staring at Miles distant eyes.

"Hm? Oh, nothing. Just thinking."

"Well, lets go 'think' in the English room before we're late." Lee nudged Miles, breaking his gaze and concentration.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 2

~~~~~~

_"Leave my brother alone!" he said to the first grader and looked at the little blond boy, who was crying._

The boy he was protecting his brother from, barred his teeth and growled.

"Stop it! He doesn't want to play pet dog with you anymore!" he yelled and watched the boy run away to the tire swing to pick on someone else.

"Nowah! It hurts." his brother cried, holding his leg.

He bent down to see that his brother's knee was bleeding where it had scraped against the pavement when he fell. "Wuke. It's ok."

"It hurts Nowah!"

He watched tears spill down his brother's face and wiped them with his fingers.

_"Thank you." his brother stopped crying to speak, but when he saw the blood on his knee running down his shin, he cried harder and louder._

He put his arm around his brother and held him until a teacher was alerted. She came running out of the school and led his brother back inside. He wanted to go too, to be with his brother, but she wouldn't let him. She said she would take care of his brother and that he should stay out and play- that recess was almost over, then she took his brother away.

Miles woke up feeling despair in the pit of his stomach from the residue of that dream. He'd felt the loss of his brother. He wanted to cry, but told himself not to because it was silly. He threw the covers off himself and got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. He quietly turned on the faucet, drank the water and set the empty glass in the sink, then he went back to his bedroom. He got into bed and pulled the blankets up. Soon, he was in that place where he was almost asleep, but he could sense things around him and what he sensed right now was someone walking toward him. He gasped and started to sit up.

"Shhh." Connie shushed. "It's just me." she said, sitting on Miles's bed. "Can't you sleep honey?"

"I was thirsty." Miles replied.

"I see." she whispered. "Well, I can't sleep."

"I've heard warm milk helps."

"So does exercise." she smiled in the dark and found Miles hair. She ran her fingers through it until he told her to stop.

"Aw baby. You used to love that when I'd do it to you. It made you fall asleep." Connie remembered fondly. Her hand grazed his cheek and rested on his chest. "You are growing so big. I remember when you were in elementary school."

Miles saw his chance. "Mom? What was I like as a baby?"

"A baby?" She thought quickly so Miles wouldn't be suspicious. "Um, well, you were very good. You didn't cry that much and you were no trouble at all. You were beautiful, still are." she rubbed his chest, but Miles paid no attention. He wanted answers.

"What was my brother like?"

"Your brother?" Connie's hand flew off Miles chest as though he'd burned her.

"Yes, light brownish-blond hair, brown eyes, chubby cheeks and a sweet smile? He was so cute. You know who I'm talking about. Who I used to talk about when I was little."

"Oh, he died." she said. She never went into detail. She immediately rose off the bed and said in a rushed way, "I better get to bed. Your dad will miss me, I'm sure."

"Wait, how did he die?" Miles asked, watching her rush out and thought, _Earl would never miss her. He would never know she wasn't in bed with him. He's passed out by 8pm almost every night. God I __hate my life! Why is everything such a big secret?_ He got up and closed his door, then went back to bed. Once he was comfortable, he closed his eyes and began to ease into a deep sleep.

_"Hold me Nowah!" the blond boy in denim shorts and a striped shirt giggled._

He saw himself in a similar outfit. His arms were outstretched and then he and his brother were hugging. They fell to the soft grass in each others arms and began rolling down a big hill in the backyard, laughing uncontrollably as their bodies rolled over and under each other, pieces of grass getting stuck to their hair and clothing. They stopped short of the sandbox.

He watched them lying there, then he was pulled **into**_ the dream. His brother looked at him, put is hand on his chubby cheek and said, "You're not Nowah, who are you?" _

Miles woke up again. _Why am I having these dreams? Who is this kid and where is he and why won't anyone give me any answers! How did he die if he is really dead. What's his name? Where is this humongous house, sandbox, and yard that I keep seeing? Who the hell is Nowah?_ Not only was Miles frustrated, but he was tired. He turned onto his stomach and forced the dreams from his mind and thought about Brody.

_Brody.... big.... muscular. Green eyes, dark hair.... smells sooo nice... soo.... sooo.... _

Miles fell asleep dreaming about Brody catching footballs and running for touchdowns. He was from the stands, cheering him on. The next thing Miles knew, he was on the field too and Brody was coming right at him, ready to tackle him, even though Brody was a quarterback and didn't tackle anyone in football games. Miles braced himself, then it came, the hit. Brody knocked him over and landed on top of Miles. "Fancy meeting you here." Brody smiled down at Miles. "You can cheer for me anytime, but you should do it from the sidelines."

That was when Miles stood up and looked down. He was wearing a cheerleaders outfit, and not the male one either.

Miles snickered in his sleep and rolled over. He didn't wake up until his mom came into his room in the morning and woke him with a kiss. He sat up and wiped her moisture from his mouth and got up.

"What are you going to wear today Miles?" Connie asked, gazing at him in his boxers.

Miles felt her stare and became self conscious and uncomfortable. "Um, could you go so I can--"

"For heaven's sake Miles. I bathed you when you were little. I know what your pecker looks like."

"Ok mom, that's enough. I don't want to hear about that. Just please give me some privacy."

"Fine, and for the record, it was such a cute little thing. I bet it's a **grand** one now." Connie laughed as she walked out.

"Oh good god." Miles rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Miles waited outside, impatiently, for Lee. He tapped his foot and nervously looked behind himself to the trailer's window. No one was looking out, but he still felt like someone was staring at him. No, not someone... his mother. Finally Lee pulled up and got out of his car.

"Hey Miles." Lee said with a grin as he tossed the car keys to him. "You drive."

Miles ran around the car to the drivers side. He started the car, feeling like it was Christmas day. "I love driving!" he said, stepping on the gas and speeding away from his dismal life and home. He could be anyone with Lee. Sometimes he even pretended that Lee was his brother.

"Slow down dude." Lee advised, looking at how fast Miles was going. "My dad would have a shit-fit if I got a ticket for letting you drive without a license. What is wrong with your parents anyway?"

"I don't know. They said they misplaced my birth certificate and Social Security number or something and I can't get a license without them." Miles shrugged. "I'll dig through their crap someday when they're gone and find it. Then I'll get a job and buy my own car. I'll be free." Miles smiled with the dream as he drove. He was lucky enough that Lee gave him lessons here and there and let him drive sometimes.

"Lame-O!" Lee shook his head. "They just don't want you to drive so you'll be stuck at home. Maybe they can't afford the insurance. Oops, sorry Miles." Lee looked genuinely apologetic; he knew Miles's parents were dirt poor.

"It's ok." Miles said, glancing and smiling at Lee. "We are poor, but I swear, I won't be when I'm older. I'm going to make something of myself. I'll be somebody."

"I know you will bud. You're the most determined guy I know. You're passionate about what you want and how you'll get it." Lee looked out the window, seeing that they were at the school already. "Shit. Another boring day inside when it's beautiful outside. We should totally skip school and go to the lake. We could swim and hang out."

Miles chuckled. "No, I don't want to answer to Earl. That Mother Effer' would kill me."

"Yea, I wouldn't survive either. Mom's pretty ticked off that I was late last weekend after I dropped you off. She thought we were at a party instead of the Bowling Alley. Sheesh. Mothers huh?"

"Got that right." Miles thought back to last night with his mother. "You have got that right." he repeated. He sighed as he drove by Brody and the other guys he was standing with. _Why does he have to be straight? I guess even if he was gay, I still wouldn't have the guts to talk to him. He's so out of my league._

"Can those football players get any gayer?" Lee said, looking at the high-schoolers. Have you ever watched a football game on tv? They're tackling each other, falling on each other, patting asses, and they wear those things that look like tights. Same with wrestling. They're grabbing the guy between the legs to get them down. Why is it that all sports seem so gay?" Lee laughed.

"I don't know." Miles parked carefully. He didn't want to scratch Lee's car.

"Brody... what a loser. Look at him with all the guys. Where are the girls?" Lee asked.

"He could be a really nice guy. You don't know him and I don't think he's gay." Miles said in a serious way, calling attention to himself because he defended Brody.

Lee studied Miles's face. "Yea, right." they got out of the car and went inside. Miles continued to glance Brody's way, wishing the quarterback would look at him so he could smile or wave, but nothing happened.

Miles went to his classes, dreading the 3pm bell that would dismiss students for the day. He hated going home.

Lee dropped Miles at home, wishing him good luck. Miles stared at the dirty old trailer, then closed his eyes. He saw himself in a beautiful home with everything he'd ever dreamed of having. When he opened his eyes, the trailer was still there. His shoulders felt heavy, they were weighing him down. He walked to the door, dragging his feet in the dry dust and opened the trailer door.

"Hi sweetie pie. How was school today?" His mother asked, walking to him. She reached up and pinched his cheek. Before he could turn away, she laid a kiss on his lips. "Mmm," she moaned with a smile. "You're such a sweetheart to me. I bet the girls like kissing you."

"I don't kiss anyone." Miles stated, heading to his room.

"Wait." she said, watching him walking away. "Sit on the sofa with me."

The sofa was a self stuffed cushion on a different colored couch frame. The two didn't go together as if Earl found the pieces on the side of the road on different streets. He sat on the sofa and kept his legs closed tightly with his arms crossed.

"Listen Miles honey." she touched his knee and rubbed it. "Lord knows Earl wouldn't do this, so it's my job. It may be a little late, but I never wanted my baby to grow up."

Miles nodded, keeping his head down. What did she want and what was she talking about?

"Let's talk about sex... making love or some people call it fucking. Do you know what I'm talking about?" her hand rose higher on Miles leg. He stopped her by shifting uncomfortably. She removed her hand and continued, "Miles, when two people are hot for each other and they want to be closer, they fuck." she emphasized the last word, then whispered the rest, "The guy's dick gets really hard, so hard he can't stand it. The girl gets wet and horny."

"I know how it works mom." Miles's face was so red that he could feel the heat come off it.

"Really?" She asked and leaned back to see Miles. "Just how do you know? Have you been with some slut?"

"No!" Miles glanced at his mom. "I don't date."

"You don't have to be dating to be fucking some cock-whore Miles. So, who is she? I want to know who you've been sticking it to."

"No one, I swear!" Miles stood up. He wanted to go to his room now, but she wasn't letting him. She stood up too and took his arm.

"Listen sweetie, my baby. I don't want you to get hurt by these whorish girls. You're first time should be with someone... more experienced, to show you the ropes and teach you what women, or girls, want." She smiled at him, but it wasn't a real smile, it was almost a naughty smile that the girls had on their faces in Lee's nudie magazine they'd taken from his father's bedroom and looked at one night.

"I-- I have a lot of homework mom." Miles said backing away and feeling that something wasn't right in the room. The atmosphere changed and he was sweating and sure that his mom could smell his fear.

"Ok." she told him. "If you need any help, I can't help." She laughed. Miles knew she didn't graduate high school and that she dropped out in the eleventh grade, but she never said where she went to school. The same with Earl.

Miles closed his bedroom door and looked around. _Pitiful. What a dump! This place is falling apart._ He thought and sat on his mattress. He was a very good student and got all A's and therefore schoolwork was easy for him. He never had homework because he'd easily finish in class. He used the excuse often to distance himself from his mother and Earl. He had nothing in common with them. He felt like he was intruding in their life. He hadn't come to realize that THEY were the ones intruding in HIS life.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-3

~~~~~~

"I freakin' got a sex talk last night." Miles said to Lee. They were on their way to school. Lee slowed down so they would have enough time to talk before arriving at school.

"Huh? I got mine when I was 12. Who gave you a sex talk, cuz man, I can't see either Earl or your mom doing that." Lee stated with his brows furrowed.

"Mom."

"What? What is the deal with her?"

"Don't know, but it freaked me out. I'm 16 for fuck's sake. She wanted to know who I... and she said this word to me.... fucked. Can you believe that shit?" Miles said, now angry about the situation his mom put him in. He'd been beyond embarrassed, he was mortified.

"Why do you think she wants to know that?" Lee asked. "Gross."

"I don't know!" Miles said loudly. "She was talking to me like I was a little kid and didn't know about hard ons and stuff. It was just nuts."

"Ew..." Lee said, making a face. "I could never tell my mom about having sex with someone."

"You've never had sex, so don't worry about it." Miles laughed, trying to move off the topic.

"Someday Miles." He grinned at him. "I'm glad my dad gave me the talk."

"You're lucky. I don't think Earl has said more than twenty words to me on any given day. I guess I don't mind, because when he talks, he's usually mad about something, so the less I hear from him, the better."

Lee clenched his teeth. No one should have to live like Miles was. His parents were trashy and obscene, but Lee was glad to be Miles friend. He couldn't see Miles living in those conditions without anyone to confide in or care about him... and Lee did; he cared about Miles.

~~~~~~

_He watched as a woman with long dark hair pulled a pad of construction paper and a huge box of crayons from the toy cupboard in a playroom. Toys were all around. He was sitting at a child's sized table in a small chair. The woman smiled at him. She tore off a piece of paper and handed it to him, then opened the crayons and set them in front of him on the table._

"Listen honey, I want you to make a beautiful picture for your brother and I know you'll do your best. Draw whatever you want, what makes _you happy or what you think makes your brother happy. Can you do that for me?"_

"Yes mommy." he said.

Miles shook his head and tried to wake up, but his dream continued.

_He drew himself first- a stick boy with a big head and scribbley dark brown hair. He drew a green shirt and blue pants over the body. He drew his brother wearing a striped blue and green shirt and shorts. He was coloring his hair light brown, but then, he seemed to have changed his mind and colored on some yellow too. He watched himself searching through all the browns in the whole pack of crayons for the perfect color for his brother's big brown eyes. When he was done, he showed his picture to the pretty woman._

"That's beautiful sweetie!" she hugged him and he felt safe. "Lets add a few more things."

"Oh, I know what! I forgot." he told her and took the peach colored crayon out again. He added hands to the stick boys' arms and showed the woman, who's grin lit up the whole room.

"You're holding hands! He's going to love it. Let's put his name on it and write who it's from."

He was holding his picture in his hands while he walked to his brother, who was sitting alone in the sandbox.

"Hi Nowah."

_  
"Happy biffday Wuke." he said and gave him the picture._

His brother stared at the picture and said happily, "This is my fav'rite!" then he looked at the picture again and read,

_to __Luke ___

from Noah__

'I know you like curlys so I made your name curly." he was laughing.

"It's cool! Teach me how!" he heard his brother say excitedly.

"I will." 

Miles woke up, lifted his head and looked around. He was in class! He closed his eyes to force another memory. To his good fortune, he remembered, vaguely, that this boy Luke had blown candles out on a cake. Later, they were outside with the woman and man he'd called mommy and daddy. He and Luke and other adults he didn't recognize were clapping and watching Luke open presents, then nothing; his mind was a blank. Miles shook his head to clear it, looked to his right, and saw Lee. He had to tell him about his dream now.

"Lee!" he whispered loudly. "Lee, over here." he waved his arm. "'Wuke' and 'Nowah' is Luke and Noah. I'm Noah!"

Lee put his finger to his lips. "Shhh," he shushed Miles and pointed to the front where Mr. Grant was standing with his hands on his hips, staring at him.

"Miles Stewart." Mr. Grant said sternly. The whole class turned around and looked at Miles.

"Yes sir?" Miles asked softly.

"What's the answer to problem number 5 on the board."

Miles didn't need paper- he calculated the geometry problem in his head. He took less than fifteen seconds and answered, "The ratio of area of the outside square to area of the inscribed square equals 2:1.... sir."

"Thank you Miles. I prefer you to pay attention to me than trying to get the attention of your friend. Deal?" Mr. Grant said.

"Yes sir, sorry sir." Miles said and glanced at Lee, who was trying to hide the fact that he was laughing. Lee wrote a quick note when Mr. Grant wasn't looking and passed it.

Miles opened the note. **HA HA! Teacher's Pet got into trouble! So, you had a dream here in class? Wild! Luke and Noah. DUH, that makes so much sense. How stupid were we that we couldn't ****figure THAT out? Ha Ha you got into trouble!**

Miles wrote back. **Didn't get into much trouble- you're trippin'. Yea I know! Luke and Noah. I feel like a dipshit! I wonder if Luke is really real. The name Noah doesn't sound familiar to me. Oh well. See ya at lunch, gonna pay attention now so I don't really get into trouble and have to do more geometry problems. lol** Miles sent the note back and began listening to Mr. Grant explain how to measure angles, find the area of any given shape and how to find the perimeter of shapes. He already knew this. Sometimes when he was in his room at home, because he didn't want to be social with his mom or Earl, he would read his math book, science book and other ones he brought home.

At lunch, Miles sat with Lee and their other friends, who weren't as close to him as Lee was. They talked, but he stayed guarded about his home life. He didn't want to be thought of as pitiful and he certainly didn't want to draw unwanted attention to his miserable life. While Lee was talking to Marc, Miles searched the lunchroom and saw Brody with his followers. He admired his crush from a distance. He didn't have the guts to talk to him or say hi in the hall. Miles didn't know how to do that anyway and he definitely wouldn't hit on Brody; a senior who could beat him to a pulp. He watched the football player grinning brightly at another player, then laugh. Miles wished Brody would smile at him like that. Brody DID in his dreams and when he was awake, fantasizing. Why did he have to be attracted to a straight guy? Then he decided it was better than exposing himself as gay. He didn't want the stigma of being 'different' in this school and it would get back to his parents. He shivered with the thought of what Earl would do to him if he ever found out.

"Are you ok?" Lee asked, seeing Miles's face turn pale.

"Yea, I was thinking about Earl. Whatever. It's gone...outta my mind." Miles faked a smile which came off as looking pained.

"Don't think about that jack-hole." Lee said with sympathy for Miles's situation. "It's bad enough you have to go home to him. Here you're totally safe so relax and take it easy, ok?" Lee said with concern. He wished he could help his friend somehow, but he didn't know how- short of going to his own parents for advice. Miles would be mad though. He sighed and went back to eating his lunch.

"You should come over after school." Lee suggested with enthusiasm. "Call your mom." He said while walking to Miles's locker with him. "Here," Lee handed over his cell phone. "call her."

Miles took the phone. Going to Lee's was a treat. He hated going home. "Mom? I'm going to Lee's after school, we have this project to work on for class."

"Be home in time for supper." Connie stated, wanting her boy home. She didn't understand why Miles couldn't work on his schoolwork at home by himself.

"Ok." Miles said, grinning at Lee. He gave the thumbs up. "Bye mom."

"Hey, you forgot something." Connie purred.

Miles let out a sigh and turned away from Lee. Quietly he spoke, "Love you."

"I love you too sweetheart." Connie said in a tone no mother should use on her child.

Miles quickly hung up and handed the phone back to Lee. He could still hear his mom's words in his ear. It felt like they were stuck, coating the inside of his ear. He put his finger inside his ear and wiggled it around, trying to rid the voice in his head. Luckily, Lee spoke and he forgot all about it.

"Cool! Can you stay for supper?"

"No, she wants me home in time for supper. Any time away from the trailer is time away from her and Earl and its great. Thanks for inviting me. Really, I appreciate it so much I can't even tell you in words how it makes me feel."

"Relieved."

"Yes, relieved and grateful that I have a friend like you. You understand, you know my situation and for some reason, you're still my friend." Miles smiled. A genuine smile.

"I'll always be your friend Miles, count on it." He patted Mile's shoulder and added, "I better get to my locker before the bell rings. Meet ya at the car after school."

Lee drove through town. He lived on the other side, the 'rich' side whereas Miles lived the other way, the 'poor' section.

"I'm hungry, how about you?" Lee glanced at Miles, seeing his head was down. Lee knew Miles didn't have money. His parents never gave him any at all.

"I'm not--" Miles began, but got interrupted.

"I'm stopping at the drive-thru. What do you want?" Lee asked, intending to order Miles something even though he knew Miles was going to decline. He didn't want his friend to feel self conscious about not having money and that Lee always paid.

"Nothing, really." Miles said, looking out his window, wishing he had at least one dollar to buy a cheeseburger.

"Hello, may I take your order?" a female asked through a speaker at the outside menu.

"You sure can. Two number 2's with cokes." Lee pulled around to pay at the window. As always, Miles was silent. "Don't worry Miles, shit, I don't care about paying. It's my allowance and I can do what I want with it."

"Still--"

"There's no 'still' dude. I'm hungry and I don't want to eat by myself in front of you. Think about that. Do you want me to be uncomfortable?"

Miles laughed. "You? Uncomfortable? Now that's hilarious."

Lee smiled, hearing Miles laugh robustly. It had been a while he'd heard a spontaneous and unrestrained laugh from his friend. He joined in and laughed too, paid the girl and got his bag of food and drinks. He drove home, eating on the way and noticed Miles had chowed down and finished before him- like he was starving.

In Lee's room, he and Miles talked and shared thoughts.

"Did you see Tiffany today? Boy, her tight shirt and jeans gave me half a woody." Lee chuckled.

"Tiffany?" Miles tried to think. There was no Tiffany in the freshman grade.

"Senior, big boobs, curvy hips, long blond hair. Mmm." he moaned.

"I don't think I know her." Miles stated with a shrug. He never paid attention to the girls in the school, he'd rather stare at Brody. What a hunk!

"Who do you think is hot- from any grade. Who's caught you're eye?" Lee asked interested in what type of girl Miles was attracted to.

"Oh, uh." Miles spat out a name. "Maxine."

"Maxine... the Maxine in our grade with short brown hair and has a flatter chest than yours?" Lee smirked with amusement. "Shit Miles, did you pull that name out of your ass? Come on dude. Tell me the truth. You know me, I won't tell anyone."

"Ok... Paula." he chose the cheerleader Brody was dating. "Paula Curtis." Miles rubbed his face.

"That hot cheerleader Brody is dating?" Lee held up his hand and Miles slapped it. "She's first rate and all woman, but dude, you don't stand a chance. Brody would kick your ass all the way to China if he thought you were lusting after his girl."

"I know." Miles said and thought, _That's why I picked someone unattainable._ "You should ask Tiffany out."

"Nah, I like to look. I'm not ready to approach a senior. They think of us freshman as lowlife and immature pimply kids." Lee chuckled. "What do you want to do? Play on the x-box?" He knew Miles didn't have one; he didn't have any luxuries at all.

"Yea!" Miles said and grabbed a controller while Lee turned on his plasma tv. He was jealous, but he was also thankful that Lee was his friend and shared his nice things with him. Lee even let him borrow his ipod for a day.

"I'm gonna kick your ass today." Lee smirked playfully as he loaded the game. "Be prepared to get slaughtered. I have a sniper rifle now."

"I'll just throw a grenade at you." Miles pushed buttons and maneuvered around a burning car in the street.

"So you say." Lee bumped Miles with his shoulder. "POW! Gotcha!"

"Damn!" Miles said and waited until his man spawned.

Later....

They had been so consumed in the game that Miles had lost track of time. "I gotta go to the bathroom." he said, standing up and noticing it was getting dark out. "Oh shit... shit! What time is it?" he panicked.

"Oh my god!" Lee said, seeing how dark it was already too. He glanced at his watch and asked, "What time do you eat supper?"

"Six." Miles said, putting on his shoes. "Just tell me, what time is it?"

"Miles, I'm really sorry. It's after seven." Lee cringed, afraid for Miles. "Maybe call home and ask if you can stay overnight, say we got to working on the project and it's not finished."

"No, I can't. I have to go." Miles said shaking his head. "It's going to be a long time until they trust me again and let me hang out with you. I should have kept an eye on the clock. Let's go." He closed his eyes, knowing what was coming when he got home. He was sure he'd have a black eye, although, Earl had been hitting him where no one would see the bruises. His mom would yell at him, yet protect him because she didn't want Earl to hit her precious baby.

Lee sped as fast as he could to Mile's trailer. He was apprehensive about letting Miles leave the car. He didn't want him to go inside alone. "Listen," he said with an idea. "let me come in and explain that it was my fault."

"It wasn't your fault. It's mine. I have to go in and tell them that time got away from me, that's all." Miles explained, not very well though. He didn't want Lee to come in and see how he lived. It was embarrassing. He'd never invited Lee in or any of his other friends inside and he never would.

"Ok." Lee replied, looking worried. "See you tomorrow. I'll pick you up as usual, same time, same place- obviously." he tried to joke, but Miles just nodded and got out of the car.

Lee sat in his car, listening to Earl yell and degrade Miles. He heard Connie try to intervene. He didn't hear a word from Miles. It was probably good that he kept quiet so as not to antagonize his dad. Lee sighed heavily and drove home, feeling despair for his best friend in the world.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-4

~~~~~~

As he always promised, Lee picked up Miles at the trailer to take him to school. He glanced at his quiet friend and wondered if he should bring up last night or let Miles talk about it- if and when he wanted to. It was uncomfortably quiet. Miles was staring out the window, so Lee turned up the radio.

Miles glanced at the radio and turned it down. He said softy with embarrassment, "I know you're dying to know what happened so I'll get it out of the way."

Lee nodded, afraid to speak in case Miles lost his nerve and clammed up.

"I went inside and of course I got yelled at for being late. I was sent to my room without supper, so thanks for buying me that burger, fries and drink after school yesterday."

"You're welcome." Lee said, thankful that he had fed Miles. "Anything else?"

"Not really. He was already drunk, wasted. He could barely stand, so I got off easy." Miles stated.

"Your mom?"

Miles scoffed, "She talked to me in my room, saying shit like 'Earl does love me in his own way' while she's touching my hair. God I feel so disgusting after she does that."

Lee inhaled deeply through his nose. The ONLY good thing, IF you could call it a good thing, was that at least Connie hadn't come into Miles's room naked to molest him. Yes, the things she did do were bad, but Miles seemed to cope somehow.

"She told me she loves me and that she'd protect me from Earl when she could. I ducked my head when it looked like she was going to kiss me. She did, but on the top of my head, thankfully. After Earl's cutting words, I couldn't deal with her 'kiss'. I would have gone crazy."

"Well, I suppose you got lucky. I mean, you didn't get hit by Earl or kissed the way she usually kisses you."

"Yea." Miles's mood lightened after he confided in Lee. It was like therapy. He smiled, turned up the radio and sang along with Lee.

_He was in the flower garden, looking around for bugs and frogs. His brother didn't like insects and amphibians; he was in the sandbox filling a dump truck full of 'building material'. He looked up with a slug on his finger and contemplated running to his brother to scare and chase him, but 'Wuke' would only cry and tell mommy on him. He set the slug on a rock and started to walk out of the flowers. He saw some little, pretty white and yellow ones and looked up at his brother; he had a yellow shirt on._

He pulled some of the forbidden flowers from their stems and quickly walked to the sandbox. He stood next to his brother, who looked up at him.

"What? Want to help? Mr. Jenkins wants a house right there." His brother pointed to the sand. "You can build it."

"No. I don't wanna." he said and sat next to 'Wuke'. He began to put the flowers in his brother's soft blond hair, all over, making a mane of white and yellow flowers, then he smiled.

"Do I look pretty?" his brother asked him.

_He saw himself nod and heard himself say, "You look prettier than mommy."_

"Thank you Nowah." His brother grinned lopsidedly at him.

Miles woke and noted the time. He'd only been asleep for two hours. He adjusted his pillow, punched it a few times and laid his head back on it.

"Luke. I wonder... are you real? If you're not real, why are these dreams and images so clear? I wish you could find me and take me away from here." Miles closed his eyes and prayed even though he'd never been in a church-- that he could remember. "God, please, I beg you, get me out of here. This can't be my life. It just can't. I don't want this kind of life. I hate it here. Really hate it. I need you to help me find myself. Whoever I am. Wherever I belong, but please don't let me belong here."

Miles opened his eyes with tears falling from the corners of them. "Don't I deserve better... or am I destined to live a life like Earl? I want to go to college, but how? My parents can't afford it. They can't afford decent things not even halfway decent things!" Miles put his hands over his face wiping away the salty tears. Suddenly, his door opened and he quickly dropped his hands to the blanket. He kept his eyes closed and pretended to be asleep.

"Miles?" Connie silently entered the room. She sat on his bed, looking at his face- from what she could see of it. They couldn't afford curtains so they had towels and push pins stuck in the corners to hold them up to cover the windows. Miles's towels were white, letting in some moonlight, but not much.

"Sweetie." she said, touching his face with a finger, running it over his cheek, then across his lips. "You're so gorgeous Miles. I could touch you all night. I could look at you all day. You're such a special person."

Miles wanted to move away from her and cover his ears. She kept going on about his chest and his thighs and his powerful arms. It wasn't right. He was ready to scream if his blanket somehow fell off his body.

"I'd love to teach you the ways of the world." she purred near his face. "In time my sweet boy. In time." She bent down and kissed Miles on the lips, lingering there until he couldn't stand it. He made a noise as if he were going to wake up and turned over, away from her. He felt her touch and rub his back and grimaced. Go away! He said over and over in his thoughts. She did, somewhere around the thirtieth time he'd screamed it in his head.

He whispered to the ceiling after he rolled over, "God, why me?" He didn't want to feel sorry for himself, but he kind of did. He'd prayed for something better, and this happens. It didn't seem fair. Who was looking out for him? Who was protecting him? Who loved him? He couldn't think of one single person. Yes, Lee was looking out for him, but what could a 16 year old accomplish? Miles wept quietly, sighed, and tried to go back to sleep.

In the morning, after his shower, his mom acted normal- as if she hadn't come into his room. He didn't expect anything else from her, he had pretended to be asleep after all. While he ate, he knew she was eyeing him and when he looked up, that confirmed it. She was staring at him as if he were naked, with that hungry look in her eyes. He quickly looked away and saw Earl shovel forkfuls of food into his mouth, butter and egg yolk dripped down his chin from the sunny side up eggs his mother made. The sight made him want to gag. He picked up his fork and poked his egg, watching the orange-yellow goop ooze from the yolk and pool around the congealed cold white part of the egg. He left his fork on his plate and picked up his buttered piece of toast and ate that instead.

He heard Earl say his name and looked up.

"Gonna eat that?" Earl pointed to his egg with his fork.

"I'm not very hungry." Miles replied, then saw Earl take his plate away, including the other piece of toast and two pieces of sausage. He would have eaten those. He thought Earl only meant the egg. Now he would be starving by lunchtime. He qualified for the free lunch because of their low income and he was glad for that. If anything about the Stewart's made Miles happy, it was the fact that they were so poor that he could eat a good, filling lunch. Everything else about the Stewart's sucked.

Majorly sucked.

Majorly, intensely, and extremely SUCKED!

He finished the toast he still had in his hand. Miraculously, Earl hadn't grabbed that too.

"So Miles," his mom started.

He cautiously glanced at her and asked timidly, "Yea?"

"Earl and I would like to meet this girl you're seeing. I told him all about how you're coming into that sexually interested age and how you wanted to know about sex... so, who is this girl?"

"There's no girl mom, I told you." Miles shook his head. Didn't Earl hear the tone in her voice when she talked to him? Was he deaf?

"Are you callin' your mother a liar?" Earl growled at Miles, making the poor boy shrink in his chair.

"No. I'm not interested in dating or anything right now. I like school and I want to concentrate on that instead of girls. That's all."

Earl laughed. "Concentrate on school? Why? The only place you're going after high school is to work with me and be a mechanic." He laughed again.

Miles didn't want to lose sight of his dreams, but they seemed so unrealistic when Earl made fun of him.

"You're gonna learn from the best mechanic in the Midwest. You don't need schoolin' for that. You could drop out now and learn the trade, earn your keep around here. I should make you."

Miles was too scared to say a word, thankfully, his mom jumped in.

"Now don't be talking like that. Let Miles enjoy school. He has the rest of his life to earn a living. I want him to be a regular boy, excuse me Miles," she smiled at him and corrected herself, "a regular **man**."

"Man?" Earl chuckled. "He's no man yet babe. He hasn't lived. Once he gets out there and works, and I mean a real job. Not one behind a desk on a cushy chair. I'm talking a job where he gets his hands dirty and is exhausted every night knowing he did his best work, then he'll be a man."

Connie shrugged. "He is a man, have you looked at him lately? He's getting so big. My big boy." she winked at Miles.

Miles decided he'd had enough. He went outside with his backpack and waited for Lee. It wasn't more than a minute later that his mom came out in her nightie and said, "I didn't get my usual goodbye kiss."

"I think I'm too old to be kissed good morning, goodbye and goodnight." Miles said, watching the breeze make her nightie hug her figure. He looked around the trailer park, hoping no one was looking at her. She was practically naked.

"You are not. You're my son and I'll kiss you." she said with a frown and ended up kissing Miles on the cheek when he turned his head at the last second.

"Humph!" she scowled with anger, but didn't say another word, then she went back inside.

Miles breathed a sigh of relief. When he saw Lee drive up, his mood lifted greatly. He hated being at the trailer any longer than he had to.

"You're in a good mood today." Lee acknowledged with a grin. "It's good to see you like this."

"Yea, sort of. Mom stuck up for me again. Earl threatened to make me drop out and be a mechanic like him. Mom said I should finish school. I was happy, but I didn't show it. Earl would have wiped the smile off my face with a hard slap, I bet."

"No doubt. Even though your mom is a little 'out there' it's cool that she wants to keep you in school. You're so smart, you could be anything you want."

"Not really. I don't have money to go to college and even if I did, they wouldn't let me leave town." Miles drummed his fingers on his thigh. "It sucks."

"You never know." Lee gave him hope.

"I do know. Look where I live. I'll be just a mechanic or a fast food worker for the rest of my boring, dull life."

"Dude, relax. You won't know crap until you're older; then you can make your own decisions."

Miles scoffed softly. "With no money? Lets see... my options are to move into a cardboard box, which is only a little better than living in that trailer, and beg for money...or stand on a street corner and do things for money. Yea, I have a real bright future."

Lee shrugged. "Don't think like that, you're bringing me down. That's three years away. Let's worry about the here and now."

Miles let out a loud moan-sigh.

"Or not." Lee smiled at Miles.

"I'd rather relax until we get to school." Miles stated and let his head fall back onto the headrest. He closed his eyes and saw the little blond boy who he called 'brother'.

"Any more dreams about you and Wuke?" Lee chuckled. "Wuke, that name is too adorable."

"Last night. They're becoming more frequent. I was in this huge flower garden playing and Luke was in the sandbox. I swear I could smell those roses and hear the birds and feel the sun on my face. Then I woke up. It's so depressing to know that there has to be a place like that somewhere, but I'm stuck in a trailer, wishing I had that family and a brother. I wish I could stay asleep forever and keep dreaming. I hate waking up."

They pulled into the parking lot at the school. "I'm sorry Miles."

"Don't be."

"Well I am and you can't tell me not to be, but I admire how strong you are given your circumstances. I look up to you. I think you're about the bravest person I know."

Miles looked down and humbly replied, "Thanks, but I couldn't help what family I was born into or adopted into. It's just the luck of the draw, or lack thereof in my case." He and Lee got out of the car, but Miles stayed next to it, staring at Brody. He wondered what it would be like kissing another boy, touching him down there, what it would be like kissing that area. He gasped when he felt his body and groin tingling with thoughts of seeing Brody naked.

Lee chuckled, seeing Miles's face and he couldn't miss his erection. He saw where Miles was staring and whispered, "Ah, there she is. Paula Curtis." He thought Miles was looking at Brody's girlfriend, not gazing longingly at Brody. "She's looking good today."

"Hm? Oh, oh yea." Miles nodded, seeing that Paula was wearing a halter top and shorts. His eyes shifted back at Brody and sighed.

"Come on you horn dog." Lee took Miles by the arm. "Lose the boner before we get inside or you're gonna be teased for the rest of the school year." He laughed.

Miles thought about Earl and getting hit and immediately his erection went away.

At lunch Miles did his usual thing- stare at the hunk he had a crush on. This time his mind wandered.

_He was walking down an empty hallway in school. Brody was walking toward him with a handsome grin on his gorgeous face._

'Hi Miles. How's it going? Looking good today.'

He grinned back. 'Thanks, you're looking hot too- but when don't you?'

Brody touched his waist. 'I've been watching you. You want me. I can tell.'  
_  
'Yes, I do. I want you so much.'_

He watched Brody get on his knees and undo his jeans. 'Have you ever done this Miles?'

'No.'

'Well, in addition to blowing your cock, I'm going to blow your mind.' Brody looked up at him with a look of want.'

"Don't you think so Miles?" Lee asked Miles, tapping him on the head. "Wake up." he laughed.

"Wh-- What?" Miles tore his gaze from Brody, shifting it to Lee.

"What are you doing dude? Daydreaming about Paula again. Give it a rest."

"You're right. So, what did you ask me?" Miles asked, picking up his fork and twirling his spaghetti around it.

"Ah, don't worry about it." Lee said, looking at Paula. She was so out of Miles's league, but if he was happy fantasizing about her, then so be it.

_He was in bed crying. He had a dream about the dragon in the movie they watched today in school. He told the teacher he didn't want to watch 'Pete's Dragon' because he was afraid, but she said it wouldn't be scary. He heard his brother ask from the bed across from his. "Are __you ok?"_

He answered, "I'm scared Wuke." then he heard scrambling and his brother was right there. "I had a bad dream." he told the little blond boy.

His brother crawled into his bed and kissed his cheek, like their mommy would to comfort them. "I'll keep the bad dream away." he said while they hugged each other.

Zooming closer in the dream, Miles watched their mom come in to check on them. She covered up both boys and kissed their cheeks, then backed out of the room smiling at her sons. 

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-5  
Warning: The worst of Connie comes out

~~~~~~

_"C'mon on Nowah." the innocent, happy voice called to him._

He ran to the blond boy and took his hand as they giggled and went into a huge bedroom. He took a moment in his dream to look around, seeing things from above the two little boys. A large bed took up the room that was colored in cream and gold.  
__

"C'mon!" his brother tugged his arm, but not painfully- impatiently. He was being led to the large walk-in closet where clothes in an array of colors seemed to hang for miles and miles. Women's shoes were on racks to the right and men's on the left.

He heard himself say, "I want this one." as he pulled a starched stark white mans shirt from the hanger.

"That's a good one Nowah."

He saw his brother smiling; then turn away to look up at the assortment of clothes, trying to chose something. He didn't know what his brother was searching for, possibly the perfect outfit to wear. He put on his shirt and buttoned it with his chubby fingers. He looked at all the shiny black shoes, brown ones and casual ones. He chose the black ones with little tassels instead of laces and slipped them on, then he looked in the full length mirror in the closet. His white shirt hung to the floor, covering his own black dress pants. "I need a tie Wuke." he said. Turning to his brother, he saw that he'd chosen clothes and shoes to wear.

"Do you like this dress?" the little blond boy asked.

He saw himself walk to his brother and eye him up and down. He was wearing Lilly's short white summer dress that on his brother, pooled around his feet on the floor. The straps over his shoulders kept sliding off and he had to keep pulling one or the other back in its place. The neckline plunged down to his belly, but he didn't care. Underneath he was wearing gold, low cut heels.

"You look nice." he said to his brother with his admiring eyes and _charming smile._

He heard his brother say, "You too." then they were holding hands again, walking stiffly and carefully. Holding on to each other tightly, then tighter for balance as they descended the stairs. They stopped on the fourth step from the bottom and stayed there.

"Mommy!" he called out. "Daddy!"

The woman with long dark hair came to the foot of the stairs and a man with brown hair and a handsome face stood next to her. They both looked as if they were trying to hold back a laugh.

The woman whom he'd called Mommy, said, "Don't you both look beautiful and so handsome too. This must be a very special occasion."

The man who he'd called Daddy said, "I'm getting the camera, be right back." and left in a hurry.

"Me and Nowah are getting married." the blond beamed happily.

"Oh?" The woman asked. "Well we better do it right. Let me go upstairs and get something you'll need." She walked up the steps.

He looked at his brother and smiled. "Now we can be brothers forever!" His face showed elation, as did the blond boy's face.

"You're my best fwiend Nowah."

_  
"You're mine too."_

"Smile!" The man came back into the room, aiming the camera at him and his brother.

"Wait!" the woman came down the stairs quickly and stood before them. She bent over and said, "These were given to me by your grandmother Lucinda. They're only costume jewelry, but they're expensive. You can use them now, but I want them back." In the palm of her hand was one ring with a large bluish-purple stone set in it and another ring that was clear, like a large diamond and just as large as the other.

He picked the colored one and put it on. It was very loose and kept turning on his little finger. His brother put the diamond one on and smiled proudly, asking, "Are we married?"

"Not yet." The man said. "Let's see, how about.... Now I pronounce you brothers, lifelong friends and may you forever be there for each other."

"Yay!" he heard his brother yell in his ear excitedly. "We're married Nowah!"

He saw the woman cover her big grin, but he could see that her eyes shone with amusement.

"Now smile."

He watched the man take several pictures of him and his brother. He _watched himself kiss his brother on the cheek and give him a hug, almost falling down the stairs, but the 'Daddy' caught them both, spun them around in his strong arms and set them down._

"Go play for a while, then we'll have a celebratory supper."

"Pizza?" his brother asked.

"Yes, and cake too!" the mommy said, kissing him and his brother on the nose. He smiled and kissed her cheek and said, "I love you mommy." His brother repeated the phrase and kissed her too.

He took his brother's hand and walked to the sun room where they had put all their stuffed animals. They sat down, facing bears, lions, kangaroos, dinosaurs and other dolls.

He heard, "I love you Nowah. I'm glad you're my brother."

His body was suddenly swept into the five year old that was him. He looked at his brother and said, "I love you too."

His brother was playing with a rosette on the dress he was wearing and looked up. "Nowah? Where did you go? I miss you. Come back. Come back.... come back." then he started crying.

Miles woke up crying because the little boy seemed so distressed. The sad little voice still echoed off the walls and in his ears as if he and 'Wuke' had been playing right here in his bedroom. Even though he was there in the dream, his brother couldn't see him. Why? He wondered who the people he called mommy and daddy were. He wanted to find them. He had questions that his parents couldn't answer, or wouldn't answer. Were Connie and Earl his parents? If not, how did he come to live with them and why? These same questions plagued him every day.

His door opened. The sun was just coming up, casting an orange-ish hue in his room. His mother walked in wearing a yellow nightie, a silky one that he'd never seen before. It must be new.

"It's not time to get up for school yet." Miles said, sitting up worriedly as the woman he called mother came closer, almost slinking to him seductively.

"What are you doing?" Miles asked as his mother lifted the blanket and got into bed with him.

"Oh Miles!" She said softly and began to cry silently. "Earl and I had an argument and he kicked me out of the bedroom. I'm so tired. Can I sleep here for an hour or two?"

"I-- I guess so." he said against his better judgment and scooted as far over as he could get without falling off.

"Thank you sweetie." she said, touching his hair. "Go back to sleep and I'll wake you when it's time to get up."

He turned away from her and closed his eyes. He tried hard to sleep; only when he stopped trying, did he actually fall asleep.

He was dreaming. Brody was straddling him, wiggling his butt on his erection, kissing his mouth, touching his chest and whispering how much he loved him. Miles groaned in his sleep when Brody teased his ear with his tongue, licking him and nibbling his earlobe.

"You're so handsome Miles. I love you. I always have. When I first saw you playing outside I knew I had to have you."

Miles slowly woke up. What-- Brody saw him playing outside? When? Where? He opened his eyes, feeling a hand in his boxers and screamed loudly as he scrambled off the other side of the bed. He stood plastered against the wall, as far away from his mother as he could be.

"Shhh! Miles it's just me!" Connie said. "Don't wake Earl."

"What are you doing! You're not supposed to touch me like that! What is wrong with you?" Miles yelled. "You're sick!"

"Miles, take it easy!" she said with a smile. Her long lean legs leading her body as she got out of his bed. Look sweetie, I'm not your real mother, so it's ok. We didn't tell you before, but you're adopted."

"I kind of figured that, but I've known you as my mother and nothing else! What you did is disgusting!" Miles freaked out. "It's gross and really wrong!"

Earl opened the door forcefully. It hit the wall; the doorknob made a hole in it. He angrily bellowed, "What the fuck is all the yelling in here?"

"Oh Earl!" Connie ran to him, wrapping her arms around him. "Miles had a bad dream and I came in to comfort him and he got the wrong idea! All I did was try to hug him and he goes on about me touching him inappropriately!" she began to 'fake' weep.

"Go make breakfast." Earl said to her, patting her bottom. He glared at Miles and walked to him. "How can you think that about your mother? How dare you think she's attracted to you like that! That's repulsive! Maybe you're the one attracted to her? She walks around in her nighties and you get a good look don't you boy?"

"I don't think of her like that or look at her in that way!" Miles shouted to defend himself, but got hit on the jaw for it.

"Don't you talk to me like that! You have no right. I put food on the fucking table and buy your clothes. I give you shelter and you act like an ungrateful shit-heel! You leave your mother alone and if I see you giving her a look of ANY kind, you'll be sorry. You'll be so fucked up that you won't be able to stand!"

"Yes sir." Miles said with his head down. He was living in hell. Earl used him as a punching bag and he knew the man hated him-- and his mother was trying to seduce him. Even if she wasn't his mother, she was still a mother figure in his mind. It sickened him that she touched him there. He moved robotically to the shower to rid her violating touch from his body. It didn't really help. He still felt her hand molesting him and knew what he had to do.

In his room, he unpacked the books from his backpack and stuffed it full of clothes. After keeping his eyes off his parents all through breakfast and his voice silent, he went outside to wait for Lee. He had to tell someone, why not Lee? He felt comfortable telling his best friend about this, as bad as it was, but he never confided that he was gay. His friend derogatorily commented all the time, 'That's gay', 'He's gay', 'Those clothes he's wearing are gay'. No, he couldn't subject himself to that kind of torture from his only friend.

Lee pulled up in his car and smiled at Miles when he settled into the passenger seat.

"I have to get out of this godforsaken town." Miles's voice was monotone and without emotion. Lee noticed and figured something happened. He got a better look at his friend.

"Holy shit! He hit you again?" Lee asked, horrified, seeing the bruising on Miles's jaw.

"Yea, that's not all." Miles hung his head. "She... she..." he sighed loudly with despair.

"What Miles, you can trust me. Did she kiss you again?"

"No, worse." The act played through his mind horrifically and he covered his eyes so Lee wouldn't see his tears.

"What?" Lee asked interestedly, yet fearful. His friend was crying and he knew it had to be bad. "Did she show her tits again?"

"No... she came in my room this morning and got in my bed. She touched me 'there', Lee. Touched my dick! I have to leave, I can't stay in that stupid trailer anymore. I want to know where I really came from. I have to--"

"Uhhh god." Lee said in a sickened way. "I feel for you. Your family is fucked up big time! I want to help you."

"Yea? How? Adopt me?" Miles laughed sarcastically.

"You should find those people you dream about."

"They might not be not real. Maybe they're people I made up in my mind to escape this family. I dreamed of someplace safe where I'm loved. It's keeping me sane somehow. It's just a pipe dream."

"You don't know that." Lee stated emphatically. "You have to find out. If nothing turns up, at least you'll know for sure instead of wondering for the rest of your life. Then you can come back and live with my family and we'll put those deadbeat parents of yours in jail."

"No one will believe me about what they've done to me."

"Hey! I do!" Lee argued.

"I have to tell you something and you can't tell anyone." Miles said, glancing at Lee.

"More about your mom?" Lee's face showed apprehension.

"No. Look." Miles reached between his feet and opened this backpack.

"Clothes? You... You're...."

"I'm going to hitchhike outta here. I don't care where I go, just as long as it's away from this town and my parents." Miles was scared and his heart raced, but he knew this was the only way to escape.

"Hitchhike? What if you get picked up by a serial killer?"

"Anything is better than living in that trailer. Anything." Miles stated, looking out the window as they pulled into the school's parking lot. He saw Brody in his tight jeans and a tank top.

"Miles, I've been thinking." Lee said, taking his key out of the ignition. "I'm going to help you." He also fetched his wallet out of his back pocket. He took all the money he had and handed it to Miles.

"I can't take your money." Miles handed it back.

"I know you don't have a cent to your name. Take it. You'll need to eat."

"Thanks." Miles said modestly, putting the money in his back pocket.

"One more thing." Lee stated, getting teary eyed at losing his best friend. I don't know where you're going or where you'll end up, but call me. Please."

"I will." Miles nodded, Lee came close and hugged him. "Here." he said when he backed away.

Miles looked down at Lee's hand. "I couldn't. This is going above and beyond being just helpful." He said, staring at the car keys and drivers license.

"Take them. I know we don't look too much alike, but maybe it'll fool the cops? Just don't speed and they shouldn't pull you over. I won't report that you stole my car if you do get stopped and I'll say I let you borrow it when my parents ask-- when they see it's gone. Once you find what you're looking for, maybe I can come visit and get my car, but don't worry too much, it's just a car."

Miles humbly took the license and the keys after Lee removed the house key and his parents car keys. "Thank you so much. You really have no idea what this means to me."

"Yea, I kind of do. I hope you find a better life, Miles."

"Anything is better than this." Miles said, getting out of the car. He walked around it and gave Lee another hug. With a tearful goodbye, he sat in the drivers seat and drove away. 

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-6

Miles decided to go east. It seemed as good of a direction as any. He drove without stopping until he was out of the state of Ohio and entered Indiana. He was tired and hungry by the time 4pm rolled around. He snickered, thinking that his parents must be wondering where he was by now, or maybe they didn't care and were happy that he left? Earl would be for sure. Connie? Well, she probably would miss him, or rather doting on him, coming on to him, kissing, touching....

He pulled into a gas station and filled up the car. He walked inside and strolled down the aisles, picking up chips, then a tuna sandwich in the refrigerated area. He bought a large caffeinated soda and took his items to the register. He paid for the food and the gas, feeling the eyes of the clerk bore into him, or so he thought. He felt guilty and thought everyone could sense something was off or not right with him. He hurried to the car and drove off.

When it was dusk, he became afraid to drive further since he'd never driven at night. Lee sometimes let him drive to school or when they went to the bowling alley to play video games, but never at night. He pulled into the parking lot of a discount store and turned off the car. He figured he could sleep in the car and save money by not going to a cheap motel; he had to conserve the rest of the money Lee gave him. In hindsight, he wished he'd stolen Earl's credit card and bought groceries to last him weeks, but it was too late for that.

He locked his doors and watched customers leave and pull in until the lights in the store turned off and he was the only car left in the lot. The lights in the parking lot had come on earlier and lit the area around him, so he felt safe.

A tapping at his window roused him from sleep. He sat up and looked out of it- right into the bright light of a flashlight.

"Open up." a male voice told him.

Miles turned the car on and lowered the window. His heart sped up and he was wide awake now. "Yes?"

"What are you doing here?" the officer asked.

"Just sleeping."

"You can't sleep here. License please."

"Um, my friends dared me. If I don't stay the whole night, I have to pay them fifty bucks." Miles lied.

"License."

"I don't have it on me. If I get caught, I lose. Please, I'll just go home. I promise."

"You have out of state plates. Home is a long ways away. What are you doing here?"

"My parents moved here. I live here."

The officer seemed to regard Miles for a moment and nodded. "Alright, but go straight home. I guess you're out fifty bucks. Let that be a lesson to you."

"Yes sir." Miles sat up. He put his seat-belt on, felt around for the switch for the headlights, turned them on and put the car in drive. He slowly drove away; nervously looking in the mirror at the officer staring at his car.

Miles had no idea where he was going. He just drove, trying to watch for highway signs and keeping track of the speed he was going. It was under the speed limit, but he felt better going slow. It was hard to see at night. Cars passed him, even a semi trailer truck, but it didn't faze him. He turned up the radio to stay awake and belted out song after song while yawning.

Dawn broke and he was still in Indiana but at the border of Illinois and Kentucky. He chose Illinois; only because it had some of the letters of his name in it. Tiredly, he crossed the border and decided that he could go no further without falling asleep at the wheel. He drove until he found a large rest area and parked in the empty last row. He locked his doors, crawled in the backseat and fell asleep.

_The pretty woman put on his green froggy rain boots for him, then helped his brother with his yellow duckie ones. She shooed them outside to play in the puddles. The air smelled wonderful after the rain._

"Nowah, here's a big one!" his brother told him, jumping in the puddle, splashing water everywhere. "Come do it with me."

He ran to the puddle and jumped in it, splashing his brother's pants and laughing. They jumped together, laughing and squealing.

"Look, a rainbow!" he pointed to the sky.

"Pretty. We should look for gold!" his brother told him.  
__

"Yea! We can be richer!"

"King Wuke and King Nowah Snyder rule the world." his brother giggled, teasingly pushing him. He kept his balance, but his brother didn't. The blond boy fell backwards in the puddle and got his pants muddy and wet and when he pulled his hands up, they were covered in mud.

"Mommy is gonna be mad I bet." he told 'Wuke'.

"No, she said we could play."

"You better wash your hands." he told his brother, who happened to be wiggling his dirty fingers at him. "Yucky."

"I can wash 'em in the puddle." He bent over and swished them, but they were still muddy. "I'm gonna wash 'em in the kitchen. I'll be right back." His little legs carried him as fast as he could to the front door.

He saw his brother stop, turn around and ask with a puzzled look on his face, "Who is Miles Stewart?" then he ran into the house.

Miles moaned briefly but stayed asleep, continuing his dream.

_He turned around when he heard someone call out to him. He saw a brown car at the curb and walked to it.  
___

"Hi there." a man, that looked like a younger, thinner version of Earl, said. "I saw you and your brother playing in the water. Say, do you think he'd like some candy and cookies?"

He nodded at the man.

"Come in, we can go to the store and be back before he comes out of the house. We can surprise him. Bet he'd like that huh?"

"He loves tootsie rolls!" he told the man.

"Well come on. Hurry."

The passenger door opened and a young woman pulled him onto her lap even though he was dripping wet from splashing in the puddles.

"My boot!" he cried out when it came off before she shut the door.

"It's ok. It'll be there when we come back." she said.

"Ok." he said, squirming in her arms. She was holding him too tightly.

"Boy you're wiggly. How about some candy now. I have tic-tacs." she said holding out her hand to the man driving the car, who reached in the pocket of his shirt and handed two of them to her.

_"You have to swallow them though." She said, putting them in his mouth and giving him a drink of cola. Soon he was sleepy and lying on her shoulder. He could hear-_

"I like the name Miles. He looks like a Miles." she said to the man.

"I don't care what you name him. You wanted a kid, now you got one. He's your responsibility." the man grumbled. "I hate moving."

"We have to. We don't want anyone to find us. How about the name Earl Stewart? It's a regal name... and Connie for me?"

"Whatever you want 'Connie'." the man laughed.

He watched his little, limp body sleep as the car drove and drove. He hadn't woke until days later, then he was drugged again until the brainwashing started. They told him living at a mansion had all been a dream and that they were his parents. He'd been so insistent that he had a brother, so resolute about it, that they couldn't break him, so they lied and said his brother died. If he ever brought up his dreams, he would get spanked and told to shut up by Earl, and when he was too old for spankings, he got a beating.

Miles woke up with a start. It took him a moment to figure out where he was. A dog was barking and children were screaming with delight. Families were picnicking while they took a break from driving. He crawled into the front seat and drank the last of his soda and pinched the crumbs of potato chips from the bottom of the bag. He licked the salt from his fingers as he watched happy people around him. _This is what families are supposed to be like. Interacting and talking, playing and eating, joking and smiling. How did I get stuck with the parents I __have? Are my dreams memories or things my mind makes up to keep me distracted from my horrible life? I wish I knew. I hope there is a Luke out there and a big house and the pretty woman and handsome man that appear to be so loving._

Miles opened the car door to stretch. He took the keys and locked it just in case and walked to the men's restroom inside the large visitors center. After using the bathroom, he walked to the wall where he found racks of maps and leaflets of various attractions that one could visit in the state of Illinois. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift. He saw the huge house and sandbox. He tried to look around in his vision to remember where that was, a number on the house or a street sign. Nothing, he drew a blank. This house could be anywhere in the United States.

_No, not just anywhere. None of the people in my dreams had an accent so they didn't live in the south or on the east coast. Not on the west coast either. It has to be in the Midwest. There's like.... 12 Midwestern states. Snider or Snyder. That's what Luke said our last name was. If that dream was reality. I have to get to a pay phone and call these states for a list of Snyder's. God this could take forever! Especially if there's no one by the name of Luke Snyder. I wish I could remember more._

Miles opened his eyes and searched the area. He saw a phone on the other side of the room. He smiled happily and began to make his way over there. A boy of about six or seven accidentally ran into him.

"Whoa little dude." Miles caught him before he fell.

"Sorry!" The boy stepped back.

"It's okay, no harm done." Miles smiled at him. The boy smiled back and said, "You're tall."

"I know." Miles snickered.

"I'm not. People call me shrimp at school. I don't like that name. I tell them it's Dougie, but they call me shortie and shrimp. What's your name?"

"It's Mil-- um, Noah." He grinned. It felt good to let go of Miles and Miles's past. He could be Noah even if there really wasn't a 'Noah'. He thought it fitting and he didn't want Connie or Earl Stewart looking for Miles Stewart. "Noah Snyder."

"I like Noah. He saved the animals." Dougie waved goodbye and ran off.

"Yea, I'm Noah Snyder now. Miles Steward is dead. As dream-Luke would say, 'Who is Miles Stewart?'" He walked to the phone and dialed information.

An automated voice droned, "City and state please."

Noah knew this was going to take a while. "Michigan." he said and waited until an operator came on the line. "Name and city?" A woman asked him.

"Um, Luke Snyder. I don't know what city.

"Just a moment." she said.

A few minutes later, she came back on the line. "I'm sorry. There's no Luke Snyder or any other Snyder listed here."

"Ok. Thanks." Noah hung up discouraged. He tried Indiana an Iowa with no luck. There was one Snyder in Missouri, but it was a female listed as Ms. as in single. His hopes were plummeting and he was about to give up when he decided to try Illinois. He was here after all. He dialed information and asked the operator to search the state for a Luke Snyder or spelled Snider.

"One moment please." she said politely.

Noah waited impatiently, tapping his foot and biting his cuticles. _Please god, please let there be a Luke out there. He seemed so real. I'd love a brother. I wonder if he'd remember me? I barely remember him so I guess not. I hope the Snyder family is real. I hope I can find them!_

"Sir?" the female voice asked.

"Yes?" Noah said with excitement.

"I'm finding listings for Snyder's, spelled S-n-y-d-e-r, but no Luke, and there is no listing for Luke with the other spelling."

"He's a teenager. I'm sure he wouldn't have a phone. How many listings spelled with the 'y'?"

"Well, there's an Emma Snyder, a Holden and Lily Snyder, a Jack and Carly Snyder, and a Meg Snyder. Any of those ring a bell?"

"No, but I'm sure they have kids. Can you give me numbers for them all?" Noah asked, then realized that he hadn't any paper or a pen. "Forget it. Are their names in the phone book?"

"Yes."

"And addresses?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. You've been so helpful." Noah hung up with a big grin. He went to the vending machine and put some money in. He bought an apple and a sandwich and a big plastic container of orange juice. He went outside and sat at a picnic table to eat and strategize. Should he call the numbers first or stake out the houses after he got the addresses? He ate in silence, watching birds and squirrels eat the crumbs of discarded food laying in the grass. When he finished, he threw away his garbage and went back inside. He had to ask the old man at the visitors' information desk where the phone book was- since it wasn't on the shelf below the phone.

"We keep it here, behind the desk, otherwise we get people tearing out pages and ruining it for other people." he said and hefted the yellow book onto the table.

"Thank you. Do you have a pen and paper, I need to write down quite a few numbers."

"Sure. Say, are you traveling alone?" the man asked suspiciously. "You're a little young aren't you?"

"My dad is in the car taking a much needed nap." Noah said, fibbing. He'd been fibbing a lot lately, but it was necessary.

"Here you go." the man slid a pad of paper and a pen to Noah. Noah turned the pages in the phone book and found the list of Snyder's. He wrote names, addresses and phone numbers. It took him awhile, but he did it. He tore the paper off the pad and asked, "Where is Oakdale?"

The man said, "Come here with me." They walked to the maps. The man picked up the state map and walked back to the information desk. He took out a yellow highlighter and said, "This here is you." he marked an X where the rest station was, then he traced the highway north, near Chicago, and circled Oakdale. "That right there is Oakdale." He capped the strong scented marker and set it down, then he folded the map for Noah. "You and your dad have a good trip."

"Er, yea. Thanks." Noah took the map and left. When he got back to the car, he spread the map out on the front seat. He'd rashly decided he'd stake out the addresses first. He didn't want to show up and disrupt anyone's life. He set his course and went on his way.

He thought about the dreams he'd had while he drove and tried to interpret them. Rarely was a dream as real as the ones he'd had about Luke and the large house. Things were word for word and the dream-world was so vivid, right down to the smells and touches. He could smell the scent of the boy he'd called Wuke. Clean with a hint of peaches. He just had to be real. Those dreams he had, were his soul's dreams. He wanted them to be true so bad that he knew he'd be devastated if they were false memories and wishful thinking.

Noah arrived in Oakdale when it was dark. He'd taken his time on the way to look around and take in the sights to jar his memory, but it hadn't worked. He saw the lights of the town and drove around until he found somewhere he could park and sleep in peace-- without being bothered by the law. He parked behind a warehouse, locked his car and went to sleep in the backseat.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-7

The sound of repetitive beeping woke him up. He rose and looked out the window, seeing trucks backing up to the warehouse and decided to get out of there before someone came to him asking questions. As soon as he was out of the vicinity, he brought out the paper with the phone numbers and addresses of all the Snyder's he'd written down yesterday.

He decided to start with the couples. Emma and Meg were listed as single women. Jack and Carly Snyder seemed to be promising. He drove through the downtown business district to the large homes built in a beautiful area near the park. He glanced at the address and at the homes as he passed by slowly.

"There it is!" Noah said excitedly to himself. He parked across the street and waited for someone to come out. He had to see for himself if his dreams would come true or not. He crossed his fingers and looked at his clock. 7:30am. _School should be starting soon. Luke would be a sophomore, right? Since I was held back a year. I wonder what he looks like? Is he tall, short, blond or did his hair darken when he got older. Is he fat or thin or normal? Is he dating? Can he drive? Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up. He might not be real, but it feels like he is. THE DOOR!_

Noah ducked down a little and peered out the window. He saw a beautiful blond woman with three young children. The oldest, a boy, had almost black hair, then a girl and another boy, but he was too young to be Luke. Noah sat up and hung his head. "No Luke here. Are you even alive, real, here, somewhere around here?"

He gazed at the paper again and realized sadly that there was only one more couple left to check out. He looked at the address and drove around, looking for the road. He found it an hour later. As he drove down the road with mansions on either side of him, he ooh'ed and ahh'ed. Could he belong here?

He looked at the numbers on the houses and became jumpy when he was nearing the home. Would he recognize it? Would it look like the one in his dreams? He slammed on the brakes and stared at the huge home.

_It's real! It's fucking real!_ Noah began to cry. _I had a real home with parents that loved me and a brother. A REAL brother! Aw, it's too late, he'd be at school already! I'll have to come back and spy. I want to see what he-- is that- that's the dark haired woman in my dreams! Mom?_

Noah ducked down again as Lilly pulled out of the driveway in her car. _It's her, it's really her!_ He turned the car around and followed her downtown. She went into a place called 'Fashions' and came out with her purchase, then went to a coffee shop called 'Java'. Noah decided to go inside and get something to drink and maybe gaze at her.

Once he bought his hot chocolate, he sat at a table facing his mom, watching her talk on the phone to someone she called 'mom'. My grandmother! He thought to himself.

He drank his hot chocolate slowly, staring at her, trying to memorize every nuance and strand of hair on her head. She looked his way with a confused expression. He quickly looked away, but peeked again to see if she was looking. She wasn't so he raised his cup, hiding behind it, and watched her, prepared to avert his eyes if she looked at him again- which she did. He watched her get off her phone and stand up. She put the strap of her expensive purse on her shoulder, picked up her bag labeled 'Fashions', and strode over to him.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked with her perfectly shaped eyebrows drawn together.

Noah shook his head, gazing at her face.

"Why are you staring at me? It's making me very uncomfortable, and shouldn't you be in school young man?" she scolded.

"Yes, I'm-- I'm sick. I have a sore throat and thought some hot chocolate would help." Noah answered, fibbing yet again. He wanted her to recognize him, but she hadn't so far. Maybe she couldn't see him as a sixteen year old, but saw him perpetually as a five year old?

"You should go home and get some rest in bed." she advised with a look of concern on her face. "You do look feverish. I could call Dr. Hughes. He's a friend of the family, I'm sure he could get you in right away."

"Oh, no that's ok. It's not that bad." Noah set his cup down slowly. His hands shook badly, so he put them in his lap.

"I don't know." Lilly shook her head. "You're shaking and pale."

"Really, if I feel worse, I'll call the doctor."

"Alright, what's your name?" Lilly asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Um, Miles."

"Well Miles, take care. Gargle salt water, it works." she said before she walked away.

Noah felt like a deflating balloon when he let the air out of his lungs. _That was a close one! Boy she's pretty, just like in my dreams. That was my mom, Lilly. MY mom. I want to see my dad!_ He got up and ordered a donut, then went outside. He wanted to drive back to the huge house, but if Lilly saw him again, she'd become suspicious. He decided to walk around the town and get familiar with it. He sat on a bench eating his donut when a memory came to him.

_"Boys," Lilly said to them. "I want you to stay right here. I'm going to run into the store really quick. Eat your ice cream and behave. Don't talk to strangers and stay together."_

"Yes mommy." Luke said.  
__

"Ok." he said to her. He looked at Luke and grinned. His brother had chocolate ice cream all over his mouth and running down his chin. You got a mustache and beard Wuke!" he laughed. 

Noah saw that the bench he was sitting on right now was the one in the memory he was having.

_"You too Nowah!" Luke giggled. It was a bubbly laugh that made sixteen year old Noah laugh with the memory._

"You look like Santa Claus with that vanilla ice cream on your face." Luke said and touched his cone to Noah's cone, which prompted a fight.

"I hate chocolate! I'm telling mommy!" he yelled at his brother; looking at the smudge of chocolate on his vanilla ice cream.

"No, don't." Luke said, scared that he'd get a time out for fighting and disobeying.

"I am!" Noah yelled louder.

Luke got mad and touched his cone on Noah's again. "Stop yelling at me Nowah!"

"Stop it." Noah threw his cone on the ground.

"Mommy is gonna be mad at you. You shouldn't waste food."  
__

"I don't care!" Noah pushed Luke off the bench. Luke began to cry when his cone fell out of his hands and he landed hard on his side. Noah felt bad. He hopped off the bench and hugged his brother. "Wuke, I'm sorry."

"You're mean!" Luke cried and shoved him away; his tears mixing with the ice cream on his face.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad." Noah begged. His blue eyes grew large with fright that Luke was going to hate him.

Luke stopped crying after another minute. He pouted, but said, "Ok."

He gave his brother a sticky hug and they were still hugging when Lilly walked out of the store. "You boys are a mess." she laughed. "Let's get you home. You can take a long bath with your toys."

Noah opened his eyes. He didn't know it, but he was smiling. He hoped he could be as close to Luke as he was when he was little. IF Luke even wanted anything to do with him. Noah hoped he was still the nice kid he'd been seeing in his memories.

Noah spent the rest of the morning and afternoon bumming around, getting lunch, and bumming around again. Before 3pm, he decided to go to Lilly and Holden's and park in the street to watch Luke come home from school. His stomach was aflutter with thoughts of how Luke would look, how he'd dress, and what he'd say to Luke if he had the nerve to approach the house.

He parked across the street, one house away from the Snyder's home and turned off the car. He still had to call Lee and tell him the news. Maybe tonight, then he could ask what was going on with Earl and his mom. A little while later, a bus pulled up. He closely watched five kids cross the road in front of the bus. Once they were safely on the sidewalk on the side of the street he was on, the bus left. He suddenly noticed three kids talking to each other in front of the Snyder home. They had been blocked by the bus and therefore, he hadn't seen them. Two were teen boys and one was a teen girl. One boy had brown hair and the other boy's hair was a little lighter. He stared at that boy, feeling similar to how he felt when he looked at Brody, except this feeling was pulling at him, stimulating him and was sexually vamped up- making him flushed all over.

_I wouldn't feel like that about my brother! Luke must be the other boy. So Luke wears glasses and is skinny as a rail? He's ok I guess. What am I saying, he's my brother. I love him no matter what. I can't wait to get to know him!_

Noah's gaze left his 'brother's' face to stare at the other boy again. _He's beautiful. Even more so than Brody. I wonder if he and that girl are Luke's best friends? Where is Luke going? He's not going in the right direction--- oh.... sshhit!_

Noah stared at the boy he'd felt attracted to. _That's Luke? Oh my god, it is! Look at that smile and—huh?_ He stared at the huge fake diamond ring on Luke's finger. It sparkled and gleamed brightly when he moved his hand to get a better grip on the school books he was holding. _That's the ring he wore when we got fake married! What a weirdo! Doesn't he get teased for wearing women's jewelry? Why does he wear it? Is that his girlfriend?_ he wondered as he stared at Luke, taking him all in. He felt warm all over, warm and aroused.

The girl left, leaving Luke standing on the sidewalk. Noah watched Luke watching the girl walk home, then Luke turned and looked right at him. Noah froze. He didn't know what to do. Those eyes. Those cinnamon, hazel colored, big brown eyes were staring at him. Noah's eyes locked on Luke's. He saw a smile on Luke's face, then Luke waved at him. Noah nodded because he couldn't lift his arm to wave back. His body felt like it was being held underwater. He needed to come up for air to breath and see clearly.

He watched Luke turn away and walk to the house, then turn back once for a quick glance. Noah looked away and started his car. He drove away without looking back. He needed to find supper and somewhere to sleep tonight. He couldn't approach the Snyder's right now.

Luke walked into his home after watching the unfamiliar car and stranger drive away. He remembered his parents warnings, 'Don't talk to strangers and yell and shout if they grab you.' He believed he was too old to be kidnapped and that the guy in the car across the street wasn't a threat because he looked around the same age as he was and the biggest reason, the guy was totally hot!

"Mom?" Luke called out walking through the living room to the kitchen.

"Hi honey, how was school?" Lilly asked with a smile. She handed him a freshly baked brownie and ushered him to the table where they sat.

"Um, well, Bailey keeps trying to get me to ask her to go to the school dance next month, but I know Alan wants to take her. We were talking outside about the dance just before I came in. Alan didn't ask her. We rehearsed in gym class, but he chickened out." He took a bite of the brownie and got up to get a glass of milk.

"Are you planning on asking someone?" Lilly asked, watching her son guzzle the glass of milk, then wipe the white mustache off his upper lip with the back of his hand.

"No."

"Why not?" Lilly asked curiously.

Luke didn't want to go into why he wasn't interested in going, so he changed the subject. "I saw a guy outside."

"Who? When?"

"After I got off the bus. He was sitting in his car looking around. He was about my age. I wonder what he was doing?" Luke walked back to the table, took a seat, and picked up his brownie. He was about to take a bite, but his mom lowered his arm.

"What guy? Do you know him? Is he from your school?" Lilly rose her voice worriedly, a look of fear accompanied the sound. She stood up and looked down on Luke.

"I don't know. I've never seen him before. I waved and he nodded at me. I figure he was waiting for someone in one of the houses across the street." Luke shrugged it off. "No big deal."

"I'm calling Jack anyway." Lilly stated, seeing Luke roll his eyes. She headed for her phone.

"Don't bother him. He has enough to worry about. You don't have to overreact." he said before taking a big bite of the chewy chocolatey brownie.

Lilly stopped in her tracks. "You let me be the one to decide if this situation calls for police intervention or not. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I'm fine." Luke insisted, smiling for his mom's benefit, knowing the brownie he was chewing was stuck to his teeth; making them temporarily dark brown or black. Lilly began laughing and hugged him.

"I love you honey. Do your homework after you clean up those crumbs. I have some paperwork to do."

"Where's dad?"

"He's at the farm. Emma needed him to fix that old refrigerator. It needs some sort of coil or something."

"She should get a new one or you and dad should buy her a new one for Christmas or her birthday."

"No, she loves that old thing."

"Yea, but I bet it takes a lot of energy to run than the new ones. She should think of that."

Lilly smiled. "I suppose so." she tousled Luke's hair and went to her home office.

Luke cleaned up and opened his geometry book. He copied the problems into his notebook, then figured out the answers. After that, he picked up the phone to call Alan.

"You have to ask Bailey out tonight or tomorrow." Luke stated. "Someone else might ask her."

"Who?" Alan asked. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Well.... yes." Luke replied, biting his lip. He couldn't tell Alan that Bailey wanted him to ask her. Alan was very enamored with their friend and had been since the beginning of the school year. The three of them had been friends since third grade, when Luke began to be social again. He'd shut down and rarely played or talked to anyone after his brother disappeared.

"Who is it? Is it that jock Johnny? He's a jerk!" Alan exclaimed in Luke's ear. "I hate him!"

"No it's not him. I heard he's dating the head cheerleader this week." Luke laughed. "Next week it's going to be the whole French Club."

Alan laughed. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. "How can I ask her? I can barely talk to her."

"I know and she's noticed too. She thinks she did something to make you mad. I told her after we got off the bus and after you left that you weren't angry and that you had a lot on your mind."

"Thanks. Do you think you could ask her for me? Just ask her if she'd go to the dance with me. Please?" Alan put his glasses back on and waited for Luke to answer.

"I can't. You have to do it yourself." Luke couldn't ask Bailey to go to the dance with Alan when she'd been dropping hints and insinuations all week about going with him.

"Alright." Alan said softly. "I hope she doesn't think its weird that a friend is asking her. I want to be more, but--"

"Just go to the dance and see how that goes first. Don't rush it. You might find out that you're better friends than girlfriend and boyfriend."

"Yea. It seems as if everyone has someone except you and me. Who are you going to ask?" Alan questioned.

"To the dance?" Luke gaped. "Oh, I wasn't going to go." _Nope, don't have any desire to dance with anyone, not in this school anyway._

"You HAVE to come if I get Bailey to go with me! I don't want to go and be stuck trying to talk to her all night. Luke! You need to ask someone so our dates can talk and we can relax. Please!"

"I'll think about it." Luke sighed, gritting his teeth. He needed to get out of this situation now, but how? Think. Think.....

Alan made a suggestion, "Hey! Abigail! Ask her, you're always saying how she's looking at you and asking you for help in geography class. I know she likes you."

"Abigail? Are you serious?" Luke asked almost condescendingly.

"So what if she's a little on the heavy side and looks like she's prematurely going bald."

Luke laughed. "I'm not asking her."

"Then who?" Alan asked impatiently. "You're running out of time and girls."

"I'll take care of it, maybe. I don't know. Look I just called to tell you to ask Bailey, not to get a lecture about a dance a month away. Talk to you later." Luke said and hung up.

Lilly finished her paperwork and turned off her computer. Her whole day had been full and she'd accomplished a lot. It made her feel proud, then Luke came home and told her that some guy was parked across the street looking at him. It brought up the memory of the boy that had been staring at her this morning at 'Java'. She picked up the phone and called Jack, who was a detective and her husband's cousin.

"Hello." Carly, Jack's wife answered.

"Hi Carly. Is Jack around? I have a little problem I want to talk to him about. Maybe I'm overreacting, but one can never be too sure."

"Sure Lilly." Carly called out, "Jack! Phone!"

Jack walked into the living room from the kitchen. "Who is it?"

"Lilly." Carly stated, handing the phone to him. She walked a few feet away and watched her husband.

"Hi Lilly. How are you?" Jack answered the phone.

"Well, that's why I'm calling. Today I was in 'Java' and this boy was staring at me and---"

Jack listened intently to what Lilly was saying. He nodded and looked at Carly.

"What is it?" She whispered to him.

Jack held his finger up to tell her to wait a minute. "Yes Lilly, that is odd. I'll have a car drive around the neighborhood a few times tonight to look for suspicious cars and people. Did Luke say what color or make the car was?"

"Luke? My Luke? He wouldn't know one car from another and no, he didn't mention the color. In fact, he didn't even want me to call you because he thinks I'm being overprotective."

"Better safe than sorry." Jack said. "I think you did the right thing calling me. Make sure the doors are locked and the windows too. Shut the curtains so this person, if he comes back, cannot look in. Tell Holden to keep his ears open tonight and if you hear anything out of the ordinary, call me. Even if you think it's just an animal or a branch brushing against the house."

"This sounds serious." Lilly said fearfully. "Is it that bad do you think?"

"I'm not sure, but what I am sure of, is that this guy could be staking out homes to break into." Jack said in a serious deep voice. "But don't worry. I'll put some cars on it."

"Thank you Jack." Lilly said and closed her phone. She sighed, feeling much better and called Holden to let him know what was going on.

Noah found a phone outside a gas station. He called Lee and grinned when he heard his friendly voice. "It's so good to hear you."

"Miles! How are you?" Lee asked. He'd been wondering how his friend was.

"Oh, I go by Noah now. I figure a new life, a new name."

"Noah. I like that you used that name. So... did you have any luck? You must have found someone otherwise you wouldn't have called."

"I found my home- It's the same one from my dreams! I saw the woman close up and it's her! The one I called mommy! I saw Luke! Oh my god Lee! I saw him, I saw my brother! He's cute.... I mean, he was cute when he was five and he kinda looks the same."

"So, did you talk to them? What did they say? What happened?" Lee asked, interested in Miles's, now Noah's, life.

"My mother spoke to me only because she caught me staring at her and Luke waved at me. That was all." Noah admitted. "I don't know if I should go up to them and say 'I'm Noah' or if I should try to befriend Luke first. What do you think?"

"I think you should do what feels right." Lee answered. "Take your time if you think you need to get used to the idea of having a whole other family."

"Yea, maybe." Noah nodded. "So, uh, have you heard anything there?"

"The teachers and principal asked me where you were since you missed school and your parents didn't call you in." Lee said. "The kids are talking too. They think you all took off."

Noah laughed. "Really?"

"Yea. Er.... Miles- I mean Noah? I went by the trailer and it's deserted. Earl and Connie split. The whole place was gutted out."

"Do you think they're looking for me?" Noah asked, a little afraid of what would happen if Earl found him.

"My dad thinks not. Miles, Noah, I told him everything. I had to. I was so worried about you." Lee confessed.

"Everything?"

"Yea. He thinks you were kidnapped, like we thought. He told me he went to the police station and there's no record of a Connie or Earl Stewart or a Miles Stewart. You are Noah." Lee paused to let the information sink in, then he spoke again, "The cops are looking for the Stewart's to charge them. When they find those two, you have to come and testify. Can you do that with them in the courtroom?"

"Maybe." Noah sighed. He didn't want to see the people who raised him, who called themselves his parents, ever again.

"Where are you?" Lee asked.

"A town called Oakdale in Illinois. It's nice here."

"Oakdale. Ok. Dad had a little fit about my car, but when I told him I had to help you, he was proud of me." Lee smiled. "OH! Guess the hell what!"

"What?"

"I know it's been only a few days, but so much has happened. Brody was in a car accident and he broke his leg! He's out for the year. He's got like fifty signatures on his cast already. You should see it. Pink and purple hearts from the cheerleaders- and all the teachers signed it. He's so gay! Why would anyone want a teacher to sign their cast?" Lee laughed.

"I don't know." Noah replied. "Lee? Do you have something against gay people or something?"

"No. Why would you think that?" Lee asked puzzled.

"You say things like 'he's so gay' and 'that's so gay'. I was wondering, that's all."

"Oh. Well, I could say 'he's such a dick'. Better?" Lee frowned.

Noah heard the irritability in Lee's voice and said, "Not if you're gonna be ticked off."

"I'm not, it's just that it didn't seem to bother you before."

"Yea, well. It kinda does now."

"Ok, I'll watch what I say." Lee calmed down. "Talk to you another time?"

"Of course. I'll keep in touch. Later." Noah hung up the phone and drove to the safe place he'd found earlier in the day to hide out and sleep.

The next few days were spent going to the school when it let out to get a glimpse of Luke. He always had that humongous sparkly ring on and he was with the same brown haired girl and the boy with glasses. They waited for the bus to come and they rode the bus home together. Noah would wait in the car at the high school for Luke's bus to leave, then he'd follow it. He'd stop behind it and watch Luke get off the bus, say goodbye to his friends and go inside the large home. Noah would drive away and grab a 'very little' something to eat.

During the day, while Luke was in school, Noah drove past the house to try and catch a glimpse of Lilly or Holden. He hadn't see either of them.

~.~.~.~

Tonight, he counted the money he had left. Lee's generosity had lasted him for quite a while, but it was running down. He hadn't eaten for a day to save money for gas. He had five dollars left and some change and he knew he wouldn't get far. He went to sleep, dreaming of a warm welcoming homecoming with cake and family and hugs and appropriate kisses. He watched Luke come to him and hug him and say how much he missed him.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-8

~~~~~~~

"Jack." Holden held the phone to his ear.

"Hi Holden, how's Lilly and Luke?" Jack asked.

Holden looked at his wife and son who were sitting at the table and replied, "We've got a problem here. Luke says that all week the same car with the same person driving it has been following his bus home. Some dark haired teenager. We think it's the same person Lilly called you about last week. Luke doesn't recognize the car or the boy."

"Jack looked at his watch. It was late. "Why didn't Luke tell you this before?"

"He just did and I called you. You know kids. They think they know everything." Holden said.

"I can be over in a few. I'll need to talk to him and Lilly." Jack said and hung up.

"What is it Jack?" Carly walked downstairs in a green silk robe, her blond hair cascading over her shoulders.

"I have to run over to Holden's for a while. I think Luke is being stalked by some freako."

"Well, be careful and take your gun. I don't want you getting hurt." Carly said, putting her hands on Jack's chest and giving him a kiss goodbye.

Meanwhile, Noah was washing his hair in a sink in the bathroom at the gas station. He'd stripped too and washed his body, almost using all the paper towels in the dispenser. When he was satisfied he didn't smell, he began his journey to the Snyder's home. He was out of money and his car was on empty. It was now or never. He was going to park across the street, get some sleep and in the morning he'd go to the door and announce who he was. He couldn't wait to see their faces.

His car was sputtering as it slowed to a stop outside the lit up home. He stared at the inviting aura. He played in his head again how the Snyder's would welcome him with open arms. And Luke, beautiful Luke- his brother Luke. They'd have so much to catch up on. He wanted to stay up and talk and talk and talk. He wanted to know everything and maybe Luke would want to know everything about him too. Noah wanted to reminisce and see if they had the same memories from their childhood together. He was so excited, that he didn't notice in the rearview mirror that a car without its headlights on pulled up behind him and parked. Noah laid on the front seat, ready to go to sleep and dream of a happier life with loved ones.

"Gotcha sucker!" Jack muttered to himself and slowly and carefully got out of his car. He drew his gun as he walked to the driver's side, expecting to see the teen. What he did see is the teen laying on the front seat with his eyes closed and a smile on his face. Jack put his gun in his belt and knocked on the window of the car.

Noah gasped and sat up frightened. He tried to start the car to lower the window, but it wouldn't start. Jack pulled his gun, thinking the kid was trying to get away. "Hands up!" Jack yelled, aiming the gun at the teen's head.

Noah looked to his left and saw the barrel of a gun. He put his hands up and watched the man try to open his car door.

"Open up!" Jack yelled, holding his badge to the window.

Noah unlocked the door and opened it. He was yanked out of the car by his bicep, then pushed against the hood and frisked.

Jack took the license he'd found in the teens back pocket. No wallet, just a license. "Lee Nickols?" he asked, looking at Noah and the picture on the drivers license. "No way this is you. Who are you?" Jack stared at Noah, whose hands were flat on the hood of the car and his legs spread apart.

"Um... I'm--"

"Did you steal this car from this Lee Nickols in Ohio? Is that where you're from?"

"I'm from here, but also from there. Lee is my friend. He loaned me his car so I could find my family. Please officer. You have to believe me, they live right there. I'm their son." Noah nodded across the street.

"The Snyders? No way kid. Nice try but I know their son and he ain't you." Jack grabbed the back of Noah's shirt, pulling him away from the car. "Why have you been following their son and staking out their house. Gonna rob them like you robbed Lee Nickols? Huh punk?" Jack said gruffly, handling Noah roughly by his shirt.

"No! I swear! Please, I'm their son."

"You are not!" Jack yelled angrily.

"Yes, let me talk to them and I'll straighten it out."

"Why have you been spying on them?" Jack asked, ignoring Noah's pleas. He was sure the teen wanted to rob them or extort money from them.

"I'm not spying. I parked here to sleep and in the morning I was going to go to the door. I'm out of food and gas and I thought-"

"You thought you'd beg for some money because they're rich. Is that it?" Jack hardened his glare.

"No, please, please.... I was scared to go to the door. I just wanted to see them from a distance before I got the courage to go to them. I just want my family. Please officer." Noah said almost crying out of desperation. He was so close, yet so far away.

"What's your real name and I don't want to hear Lee Nickols!" Jack frowned down on the teen.

Noah began to speak rapidly, leaving nothing out. Jack listened with astonishment on his handsome face. When Noah was done telling Jack his experiences, they went to the door of the Snyder home where Jack knocked on the door. Holden immediately opened it, looked at Jack, then at the teen.

Noah stared at Holden. He was handsome and exactly as he dreamed him.

"This him?" Holden asked Jack. Jack nodded. He came inside holding Noah's arm gently to give Noah courage, and said, "I need confirmation from Lilly and Luke."

Incredulous, Holden asked, "You're bringing him in the house?" He looked at the teen, up and down and shook his head. "We should do this downtown."

"Trust me, you want to do it here and as fast as possible." Jack said, maneuvering his way through the home to the kitchen. He passed through the arched doorway.

Luke and Lilly stood up from the chairs they'd been sitting in at the table. "That's the boy I saw at 'Java' last week!" Lilly said, covering her mouth. "Is he.... is he one driving by our house, following Luke's bus, watching us?"

Jack nodded. "He was parked outside when I pulled up. Luke, is this the boy that you've seen all week?"

Luke's eyes were fixed on the teen; his dark hair, cut in a layered neat style, his electric blue eyes, his strong jaw and soft and sensual, yet, masculine lips. Like before, Luke felt something inside him wake up, whereas Noah was feeling the attraction he'd felt when he had seen Luke from a distance, but now it had grown tenfold. Luke was drop dead gorgeous close up and he could still see some of that boyishness in Luke's eyes and on the curve of his lips that the little Luke in his dreams had.

"Yeeeaaa." Luke drawled, and tore his eyes away from the teen. _Wow. Who is he? Where did he come from? What does he want? This guy, this hot guy has been following me! That's so cool!_

"Who is he?" Holden demanded, staring at the teen as if he were a criminal.

"Let's sit at the table and he can explain everything to you all." Jack pulled out the chair at the head of the table and told the teen to sit. Once he was seated, everyone else sat down. Jack and Holden were on either side of Noah. Lilly was sitting on the other side of Holden and Luke was on the other side of Jack.

Noah anxiously looked around the table, seeing Lilly and Holden's faces of distrust. Luke's expression appeared interested in what he had to say and Jack smiled faintly, nodding at him to go ahead and speak. Noah cleared his throat and stated, "My name is Noah Snyder."

The room was silent for a long time. He reddened, this was not the welcome he dreamed of having.

Lilly asked, "Is this a joke, Jack? What is going on?" She stared at Noah and said, my son's name is Luke Snyder. I gave birth to him and only him. I couldn't have any more children after I had him. Who are you?"

Jack held his hand up. "Calm down Lilly."

"Take this boy downtown and charge him with something. I don't want him here." Holden stood up. "This is outrageous. Noah Snyder, my ass."

Jack stood up and put his hand on Holden's arm. "Sit down cous'. I have a theory here. Just let me talk and hear me out. I've talked to Noah outside and he has something important to say."

Holden lowered himself to the kitchen chair again. Jack was a great cop and he trusted him. "Ok. Go on, we're all listening."

Noah looked at Luke, who seemed to be enjoying himself. They shared a smile, but Lilly scolded Luke. "You don't need to befriend your stalker!"

Luke rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Since Noah seemed to be choked up, Jack cleared his throat to get all eyes on him. When he had everyone's attention, he said, "This is NOT Noah Snyder."

Noah's mouth dropped open in shock. _Outside, the officer said he believed me when I said this is my family! He lied to me! Is there anyone I can trust?_ He began to rise out of his seat, but Jack's hand snaked out and grabbed his arm and pulled him down.

"Sit!" Jack continued, "His name IS Noah, but I honestly believe his last name is Mayer."

A collective gasp came from Lilly and Holden and suddenly he was on display. They stared at him, tilting their heads left and right, frowning and nodding, then shaking their heads sadly as though they couldn't believe it.

"How can we be sure?" Lilly asked, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "I have to know! How can we find out?"

Jack said, "That's where Noah comes in." He looked at the teen.

Luke frowned, none of this meant anything to him at the moment. He raked his fingers through his hair and set his hand on the table. The fake diamond ring he wore clinked on it; he stared at it. Stared hard. He looked up quickly and yelled "Nowah! Noah! Noah!" He stood up and began to hyperventilate. Jack stood up and helped him back to his chair and said to Noah, "Better get talking."

Noah nodded, "I've been having dreams about my past. About you both and Luke, but I called him Wuke. I couldn't figure out who he was. My parents said he was my brother, but that he'd died. I grew up with the name Miles Stewart in Ohio, but these dreams started to come more often, became more vivid, and I remembered more. I dreamed that me and Luke were going to be kings and in my dream he called me Noah Snyder, so I thought that was my name. So I'm not your son?"

"No." Holden said, "You, if you are 'Noah', were our foster son. You came here when you were just two years old because your dad went to prison. We wanted to adopt you, but he wouldn't give up his parental rights, just to be spiteful. Now, to be sure you are that particular Noah, what can you tell us to prove you are him?"

"He is Holden." Lilly cried as she stood up and hugged Noah from behind. "Just look at him!"

Noah closed his eyes and smelled rose blossoms. He remembered that smell and inhaled it deeply. It brought forth a memory. "Luke and I helped you plant the roses in the flower garden. He got pricked by a thorn and cried like a baby. You carried him inside, took the thorn out and put a big bird bandaid on his thumb."

Lilly wailed. "Yes! That's right! You remember! What else? What else can you tell me?"

Luke's mouth hadn't closed yet. He played with the ring on his finger and had an idea. He quickly ran out of the room.

"Um. Let's see." Noah looked around the kitchen, but it was decorated differently than in his dream. He hung his head. "Ah, daddy, I mean Mr. Snyder took me and Luke to some farm and we got into trouble for putting grass in a tub of water, then we had to go inside the house. A lady gave us cookies. I don't remember what she looked like or what kind of cookies they were, but she hugged us so tight I couldn't breath.

"Mama." Holden whispered in awe of the teen before him. It WAS Noah. He added, "You were at the farm. I was so mad. I'd just watered the horses and you and Luke pulled a whole bunch of weeds and dandelions and put them in the water, you said you were making soup for the horses.

Noah shrugged and chuckled softlly. "I never claimed to be a good cook."

Holden stood up and shook his head, still in disbelief. "Come here." he said to Noah. Lilly stood up after kissing her long lost son's cheek. Noah turned to Holden, seeing his face wet with tears made him begin to cry too. They hugged until Luke ran into the room. He tapped Noah on his shoulder and held his other hand behind his back.

Noah turned out of Holden's embrace and faced Luke.

Luke couldn't talk. He just stared at Noah's face.

"Hi." Noah said with a cute smile.

Luke bit his lip and brought his hidden hand forward- holding it out. Noah opened his hand, waiting to accept whatever Luke was going to give him. Jack, Lilly and Holden waited expectantly.

Luke took a breath and put his fist in Noah's hand before he opened it. He took his hand away, leaving the bluish-purple ring in Noah's hand.

Noah stared at it with more tears falling. "We got married on the stairs." he said with the clear memory. "Why do you still wear yours?"

"So I wouldn't forget you." Luke said, falling into Noah and hugging him hard enough and long enough for all the years they'd been apart.

Jack pulled Lilly and Holden aside. He told them what Noah had told him outside-- about Connie and Earl and how Noah grew up in a trailer with fear of Earl's anger and Connie's excessive doting and inappropriate behavior. He also told them that he'd go into work and begin paperwork for Noah to look over, sign, then alert the officers in Ohio to be on the lookout for Connie and Earl Stewart. "We'll find the bastards that took him when he was five and lock them up and throw away the key."

"He found us. We couldn't find him and we did everything, but we couldn't locate him. HE found us Jack!" Lilly hugged him. "Thank god you brought him inside!"

Holden wrapped an arm around his wife when she stepped back to wipe her eyes. "Jack, how can I thank you?"

"Don't thank me, thank Noah." Jack glanced at the teen. "You'll need to call the foster care clinic and have them rush a foster care form. We have to do this legally, unless you want to adopt him, if he's available for adoption."

"Why wouldn't he be?" Holden asked, frowning.

"It's been eleven years. His biological father may be out of jail now and want him."

"No!" Lilly shouted, startling Noah and Luke apart; they stared at the adults. Lilly lowered her voice, "He's a murderer. He can't raise a child."

"He's hardly a child Lilly." Jack said. "However, I agree. You are very loving parents and he'd definitely benefit from living here. I'll see what I can find out about Mr. Mayer."

"Good." Holden held out his hand and shook Jack's firmly. "Thanks again." he said, but he wanted to get on the ball and find out about Mr. Mayer on his computer right now. He didn't want to wait until Jack got back to him.

"No problem." Jack said and asked before he left. "Is he staying here with you or...?"

"Yes!" Lilly said without a doubt. "He belongs here with us." she looked at Noah and said "If that's fine with you?"

Noah grinned. "Yes of course... and thank you officer." he said to Jack.

"Just call me Jack. I'm Holden's cousin. It's great to see you again- you were just a little guy when I last saw you. Well, bye everyone. I know you have years to catch up on."

"Are you hungry Noah?" Lilly asked, her voice shaking just by looking at the little boy she'd loved who was now practically grown up.

"Yes. I haven't eaten for a while." Noah said gratefully. His stomach began to growl with the mention of food. Real food, not chips or stale sandwiches, but a meal.

"While I whip something up, Luke, why don't you show Noah around and the guest room where he'll be sleeping?" Lilly said, opening the fridge and taking out leftovers.

Holden helped reheat the food and finally took her in his arms. "It's ok. He's safe, he's here. We have him back. Everything is going to be alright now."

"Oh Holden, you have no idea how long I've waited for this moment, but I never in my wildest dreams thought he'd be so much older. I thought someone somewhere would find him when he was younger. After years of praying, I gave up hope. Holden, I GAVE UP. I assumed he was dead! What kind of mother am I?" she sobbed on his shoulder.

"You were and are a very good mother. Sometimes I would think that if they found a body, then my mind would be at ease and I wouldn't worry about him anymore. I would know where he was and that he was at peace and that would put me at peace. Not knowing where he was drove me crazy. I had all these awful scenarios in my mind. Horrific things Lilly, but he's ok. He looks good. He wasn't in a good home, but he seems like a nice boy."

Luke walked up the stairs with Noah following. "Luke?" Noah asked, "I want to ask you something, but I don't know if it was a dream or if it really happened."

Luke turned around on the top stair and said, "Ask away." with a smile that as it grew, became crooked and sweet.

Noah smiled back. "I remember your smile. It's cute."

"Um, thanks?" Luke said, then laughed.

"Oh stop it." Noah grinned. "When we went trick or treating one time, was I a pirate and you were a farmer?"

"Yes!" Luke snickered, recalling seeing that picture in his album. "You kept poking me with your sword, according to mom. I don't remember you doing that though. I do remember playing in the puddles before you disappeared." Luke's voice became distant and sad.

"I remember too. You got all muddy." Noah said quietly.

"I left you alone."

"Luke! It wasn't your fault. Those people lured me to the car and I think they drugged me or something. They made me believe you were dead and this life, this house and everyone here was a dream. They brainwashed me."

"I was going to come right back out." Luke said in a faraway, remorseful voice.

"You're not listening. I went to the car. They took me." Noah laid his hand on Luke's shoulder.

Luke was looking at Noah, but not seeing him. He was seeing himself washing his muddy hands in the sink.

_Lilly dried them for him, then he asked, "Mommy? Can me and Nowah have a cookie?"_

"Sure honey." Lilly said and went to the pantry. Luke watched her bring down the cookie jar and take out two cookies. Luke took them both and bit into one.

"Mm good mommy." he grinned at her.

"Go on now. Don't leave Noah waiting too long. He's going to get lonely."

Luke walked through the door Lilly was holding open for him. He went outside and looked around. The yard was empty. He walked around the house, eating his cookie, looking in the flower garden and back around to the front of the house. He set the cookies on the bench near the front door and went inside- to the kitchen. "Mommy? Is Nowah in here?"

Lilly turned towards Luke with a smile. "No he's not. Maybe he's hiding outside. Did you try the flower garden? Behind the grapes or raspberry bushes?

"Yes mommy. He's not out there." Luke insisted.

Lilly walked outside with the dishtowel and the dish she was drying. Luke followed her, standing next to the bench with his and Noah's cookies sitting on it. Lilly yelled, "Noah, come out now." The plate fell in slow motion from her hand when she saw Noah's little rain boot in the road. The plate crashed to ground and shattered, jolting her to move.

"Noah! Noah! Where are you?" she screamed.

Luke watched his mom look around frantically, running to the road. He knew something bad happened to his brother.  
__

"Nowah! Nowah!" Luke yelled, crying for his brother. He saw his mom drop to her knees in the road, holding Noah's green, froggy, rubber boot, sobbing loudly, hysterically. "Mommy." he asked fearfully. "Where is Nowah?" 

"Luke." Noah shook the blond's shoulders. "Hey."

Luke blinked, forcing tears from his eyes. He whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"God Luke. I don't blame you. I don't blame anyone but the people that took me. Please don't apologize anymore."

Luke nodded and turned. He walked down the hallway, clearing his mind of the memory. "Here's the guest bedroom." Luke walked into a good sized room. There were lavender walls and a white bedspread with little violets embroidered on it. "It's a little girly."

"That's ok. Where's your room?" Noah asked, pushing on the mattress of the bed, testing how soft or hard it was.

"Down here." Luke said, backing up and walking into the hallway. Noah followed Luke past a bathroom to the room next to it. Luke walked in first, then Noah. "It's not much." Luke admitted.

Noah looked around. On the left side of the soft sapphire colored room was a large mahogany bed and matching furniture. Posters and nature pictures were on the wall and some discarded clothes had been left in the corner. To the right though, was a small twin sized bed with a Thomas the Tank Engine bedspread and a yellow, plastic toy box at the foot of the bed. On the shelves above the bed were dinosaurs in different sizes and species.

"Wow." Noah's mouth hung open. Everything seemed so small now, but when he was five, the shelf seemed impossible to reach and the toy box seemed very wide and deep. It couldn't be more than five feet across by three feet high. He opened it and saw a blue bucket and orange shovels, a dump-truck, stuffed animals and more dinosaurs. A loud breath escaped his lungs, filling the room with sound.

"Remember that stuff?" Luke asked, crossing his arms, but bringing his hand to his mouth.

"Yea. I do. All of it." Noah closed the lid and stood up. He stared at the bed. "Why did your parents keep this stuff? It must have been hard on you to look at it. No wonder you feel guilty."

"It wasn't them. It was me." Luke stared at the back of Noah's head, wanting him to turn around. He was rewarded when Noah did turn.

Noah looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Why? Why would you subject yourself to keeping my stuff, our stuff, in your room?" Noah took a step toward Luke.

"It was our room. As for why, first, I prayed for you to come home. I thought it was just a matter of time- that you'd come home and your bed and our toys would be here for you. When I got older, I still had hope. Eventually, I outgrew my bed and got new furniture. I made mom and dad keep yours just like that because I didn't want to forget you. I used to sleep in it up until I was ten." He pointed to the twin bed. "To feel close to you. I missed you so much, but it's hard to remember things when you were five. I remember certain things, but it seems like you remember more."

"Not really, I dreamed my memories. That helped me find you. Your family, I mean."

"It's your family too, Noah." Luke said shyly.

"Maybe. We have to see. Right now I have nowhere to go. I could be sent somewhere else."

"No way. Mom and dad won't let that happen. They've been through so much. They almost got a divorce because you were gone."

"Because of me?"

"Not directly. They fought about stupid stuff, blamed each other and went to counseling. I did too for a couple of years." Luke said, laying on his bed.

"Sorry." Noah apologized. He felt he had to at this point.

Luke chuckled, his belly rising and falling. Noah smiled and walked to the bed. "So, can I sit with you or do you not want to get to know me?"

"Noah! You're my brother. Sit your ass down and talk to me. Tell me how you grew up and everything!" Luke scooted his body over so Noah could sit.

"Boys?" Holden stood in the doorway. "We heated up leftovers."

"Can we eat up here dad?" Luke sat up, showing Holden his big pleading eyes.

"Alright." Holden smiled, and looked at Noah. He couldn't believe it, his son was home.

Empty dirty dishes and glasses were put on the floor by Luke's bed. He and Noah were sitting cross legged on the bed talking. Noah had told Luke almost everything and had caught him up to date on his parents, everything except how Connie treated him. He told Luke about the day he left, about his friend Lee, and driving to this state, then finding the Snyder's.

Luke looked awestruck at Noah. "You drove without a license? That is so cool! You're the coolest person I know! Lee has to be the best friend in the world! I'd love to meet him. So, now the big question...." Luke smiled. "Girlfriends?"

"None." Noah looked down with a blush covering his face.

"Ah! I think you had one by the way you're acting all shy! Who was she?"

"I didn't! I swear. I had a crush, but... nevermind." Noah waved his hand. It was miraculous that he could talk to Luke like this, so openly and honestly and not feel wary that Luke would laugh at him or make fun. He felt he could trust Luke and spilled everything, except this. This thing he hadn't even told his best friend.

"Come on!" Luke pushed Noah's shoulder, then did it again harder and laughed when Noah almost lost his balance.

"No. I can't. Lee doesn't even know." Noah smiled, pushing Luke's shoulder now.

"Tell me." Luke rose on his knees.

Noah got up on his too. He beat Luke in height by four inches so he thought he had something on Luke.

"Nope." Noah laughed. "It's my own secret."

"We never had secrets!"'

"You don't know that. We're too old to remember everything we said when we were little." Noah laughed louder.

Luke scowled playfully and grabbed Noah's arms, Noah grabbed Luke's and they began to tip each other from side to side- trying to push the other over onto the bed.

"HA!" Noah taunted with his tongue stuck out. He had Luke falling to the right, but somehow Luke gained strength and pushed Noah to the left then held him down on the bed.

"Got ya!" Luke said, his face hovering over Noah's. "Tell me." he said in a softer voice. His hazel eyes penetrated Noah's blue ones, his breath hit Noah's face, his tongue wet his lips as he drew a deep breath, his chest rising and falling heavily on Noah's chest.

"I can't tell you." Noah said, staring into Luke's colorful eyes. He looked at one, then the other. He felt a force pull at him and heard himself whisper, "I'm gay."

Luke gasped and sat up. "Oh. I-- I---"

"See," Noah said dispirited. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"So, this crush you had was on a guy?" Luke asked. He couldn't look at Noah. He'd been laying on top of him and he hoped Noah hadn't got the wrong idea.

Likewise, Noah couldn't look at Luke. "Brody." he answered. "He was a senior, a quarterback. I know it was unrealistic to fawn over a football player, but he was handsome."

"You didn't tell him you liked him?"

"Are you kidding? He would have killed me! Could you imagine?" Noah laughed.

"You can never tell who's gay and who's not."

"Well, he wasn't. He had girlfriends. What about you?" Noah asked. Now he could look at Luke because the attention was off of him.

"In this town? No." Luke shook his head.

"What about the girl that gets off the bus with you and that guy in the glasses? She's kinda cute."

"Bailey? Nah, the guy in the glasses, Alan, likes her. I'm trying hard to get him to ask her to the dance next month. She's trying to get me to ask her, but I don't want to go. It would hurt Alan if I took her. He's liked her for a while now."

"Oh, what about other girls? There's got to be someone you like." Noah tried to get Luke to divulge.

"Not really." Luke smiled shyly, lowering his gaze.

Noah dropped the subject. "So, tell me, how was it growing up here?"

Luke laid on his bed and began to talk about how hard it was to go to school after Noah was kidnapped, how bad his nightmares were, his parents fighting, his mom crying, his dad storming off. It got better when he was eight he told Noah, but he still had nightmares about his disappearance. And now things were great. They continued to talk, laying on the bed now.

Lilly and Holden had gone up to say goodnight, but once they heard how enthusiastically the boys were talking and laughing, they didn't want to disturb them. It was well after 3am when Noah fell asleep from exhaustion. He'd never been on such a comfortable bed before, that he could remember.

Luke was still talking until he noticed that Noah wasn't agreeing with him or asking more questions. He turned his body and stared at Noah's face. _He's got such beautiful eyes and long eyelashes. Nice lips and a cute smile. I can't believe he's back! It's so cool having a brother. I can't believe he's gay. Wow and I'm the first person he's told. I hope he can stay. Good night Noah. Sleep tight._

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-9

~~~~~~

Lilly hadn't slept well last night. She got up early and made breakfast, cooking up a storm. Her husband, Holden, hadn't slept at all. He was on the computer looking up adoptions and foster care and anything to do with the unique situation they were in. Lilly brought him a cup off coffee and set it on the desk.

"Thank you." he said in a tired and sad tone before sipping the hot brew. "I'm not getting very far. I think I'll call our attorney and see what we can do. The more people on our side, the better."

"Why do you sound like you have little faith?" Lilly asked, massaging his shoulders. "What did you find out?"

Holden rubbed his scruffy jaw. "Noah's father, Winston was released a few months ago. I don't know where he went or what he's doing. I wonder if he's looking for Noah."

"If he had been, he would have come to us. Even though Noah was kidnapped, we were listed as his foster parents. He may have no interest in Noah. The last time he saw his son was when he was two- fourteen years have passed."

Holden turned in the chair and looked up. "For Noah's sake, I hope you're right."

Lilly nodded. "I better run upstairs and get the boys up for breakfast. It sounds so good to say that again- 'get the boys'." She smiled and kissed Holden before she left.

Holden followed her a few minutes later and saw her leaning on the door jam into Luke's room with tears in her eyes and her fist covering her mouth.

"What's wrong?" he whispered in near her ear as he looked inside Luke's room.

"It's just like when they were little." Lilly rasped. "It's like nothing has changed."

Holden put his hands on her shoulders and saw his son asleep with his arm around Noah; his face right up against Noah's neck. "They do look cozy." he chuckled low so he wouldn't wake the boys. "I heard them talking almost the whole night. I suppose they've caught up and are best friends by now."

Lilly turned. "Can that happen? I mean," she glanced inside Luke's room at the boys and looked at Holden again. "they can just pick up like that and be friends?"

"I don't see why not." Holden shrugged.

Lilly took Holden's hand and led him downstairs. "Let's let them sleep and call the school to tell them Luke will be out today. Oh, I should enroll Noah."

"Slow down. We need to see if he wants to stay."

"That's ridiculous, he'll stay; he has nowhere to go. We're his family and always will be." Lilly stated emphatically.

As the morning wore on, Lilly and Holden called their attorney, then Margo to ask what she could find out about Winston Mayer, and Connie and Earl Stewart. Later, Jack called to set up a time to take Noah's statement.

Luke was the first one to wake up. It startled him to find himself in bed with another boy, until he remembered his brother had come home. He carefully removed his arm from around Noah's waist and rolled away from the warmth of his brother's body. He sat up, scratching his cheek as he recalled last night.

He was so happy Noah was home. Now they could do 'brother' things and stay up and talk like they had last night, share secrets, and be as close as could be. They could do everything together. He'd always have someone to watch his back and vice-versa and THIS time he really would watch out for Noah. There was no way he'd let anyone hurt Noah again. He cautiously got off of the bed without waking Noah and went downstairs.

"You're up." Holden smiled at his son. "How was your night?"

"Great!" Luke said enthusiastically, then added with a fake yawn, "but I'm soooo tired. I don't think I should go to school today."

"Don't worry. I called the school. You don't have to go in today." Lilly touched Luke's arm. "Is Noah up?"

"No, he's asleep. I can't believe we talked all night. I know almost everything about him and he knows me. So is he staying for good? Can he stay?" Luke asked hopeful, looking from one parent to the other.

"Our attorney is going to contact the foster care agency and have them draw up new papers." Lilly answered.

"But," Holden interjected, "his father is out of prison and if he wants to take responsibility for Noah, he has the legal right."

"NO!" Luke yelled, backing away. "He can't... Noah belongs here with us!"

Lilly glanced at Holden nervously. She addressed Luke, "We know honey, that's why we've been in touch with people all morning. Margo is going to call his parole officer again to see where he is, but it's not going well. Mr. Mayer hasn't checked in since he got out of prison. He could be anywhere."

"Um... Hello?" Noah said at the entrance to the kitchen. He didn't want to intrude.

"Noah, come on in here." Lilly gestured. "Sit at the table, you too Luke. I'll heat up some food."

Luke and Noah pulled out chairs and sat down across from each other. Holden stood next to Noah and asked, "I suppose you heard all that?"

"Yes sir." Noah stared at this plate.

"What do you think? Would you like to stay here- live here with us?" Holden asked. Luke stared at Noah, hoping he'd say yes. Lilly looked up waiting, with a plate held midair.

Noah paused because if he didn't, he was afraid he'd yell YES! because he was so emotional. He already felt like crying. He nodded and controlled his voice by lowering it, "I'd really like that."

"So would we." Holden patted Noah's shoulder. He let his hand linger for a moment, then he announced. "I'm going to call Margo again."

"Ok honey, I'll feed the boys and take Noah to school." she spoke to her husband, then Noah, "We should get you registered right away."

"Alright." Noah answered, looking up slowly. He saw Luke looking at him with amusement. "What?" he whispered.

Luke leaned across the table and said, "She wants to put you in school already. I'd milk it for a week at least."

"Milk what?" Noah asked curiously.

"Milk it. Say you're not ready yet, that you want to get used to being back home, that you're scared to meet new people. Milk it." Luke nodded with a sly smile.

"I am scared, but excited too. Besides, I have my brother with me, right? Or.... are you planning on deserting me, calling me a geek and going off with your own friends?"

"ARE you a geek?" Luke raised his brows. He began to snicker when Noah thought he was serious. "I'll introduce you around. I don't mind. We can ride the bus together and.... HEY! That will give Alan the chance to sit with Bailey! This could be just what he needs." Luke grinned.

"Good, I hope he asks her out." Noah smiled at Luke's brightened expression.

"Here you are boys. Eat up." Lilly placed plates loaded with food in front of Luke and Noah. "While we're at the school Luke, I'd like you to clean up your room."

Luke took a bite of toast and nodded.

"Noah, we should get you some new clothes too. Would you like to go shopping afterward?" Lilly asked.

"He wouldn't want to go with you. I'll take him." Luke broke in.

"Actually, I'd like to spend some time with you Mrs. Snyder." Noah smiled at Lilly.

"You can call me Lilly. If you're comfortable with that, if not, that's ok too."

"Lilly." Noah said shyly. "When can we go?"

"As soon as you're done."

Noah ate with gusto. He finished way before Luke. "Done." he put his fork on his plate and stood up. He put his dirty dishes in the sink and washed them.

"You don't have to do that Noah." Luke shook his head.

"I don't mind."

"You don't need to earn your keep. You live here."

"But for how long? I hope my biological dad doesn't come. I don't remember him and I don't want to get to know him. Do you know what he was in prison for?"

"No I don't. Sorry. Want me to ask for you?"

"No, that's alright."

"Ready to go?" Lilly came back into the kitchen with her purse on her shoulder.

"Yes." Noah grinned at her. "Bye Luke." he said to his new-found brother and left with Lilly.

"We'll need Noah's records from his previous school." Mr. Phelps, the high school principal said, taking his glasses off and setting them on his desk. He tented his hands and looked at Lilly and Noah over his fingers.

"Look," Lilly said, sitting forward on her chair. "He is my son. He was missing for years. All we want to do is enroll him as a sophomore. If we can get his records, I'll make sure you get them."

"Lilly," Noah whispered, "I'm a freshman."

"It's ok. You'll be with Luke." Lilly patted his knee. The touch made Noah a little apprehensive until he convinced himself that it was alright. Lilly was not Connie and she wasn't attracted to him. _It's just a gesture of reassurance, that's all._ Noah told himself.

Mr. Phelps nodded. "I can start the paperwork and have a schedule for him by the morning. Noah, if you stop in at the secretary's desk before the second bell tomorrow morning, it will be there for you. You can have Luke walk you to class and show you around."

"Thank you sir." Noah replied happily.

"Great." Lilly stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you for your time."

"You're welcome Mrs. Snyder. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow Noah. I hope you have a fantastic first day." Mr. Phelps said, smiling at Noah, who nodded at him.

Lilly took Noah all around town, picking out shirts, long and short sleeved, jeans, slacks and shorts, underclothes and shoes. She also took him to the drugstore to pick up the essentials like a toothbrush and toothpaste, a comb, and other basic things.

Noah was overwhelmed. Each time they came back to the car and put things in the trunk, he saw how packed it was and he knew how much Lilly was spending. He began to feel indebted to the Snyder family, then he felt like he was taking advantage of them. He literally just showed up without warning. Did they feel obligated to help him? How could they want him after so much time had passed and they didn't really know him. How could they take in a stranger and be so kind?

"That's it, unless you can think of something else, Noah." Lilly hooked her arm with his as they walked to the car.

"No, nothing." Noah replied quietly, embarrassed.

"I know." Lilly pointed her finger skyward. "A phone. I want you to be able to call me or Holden or the police- if needed. I worry about Connie and Earl coming to take you away again, then there's the matter with your real father."

They walked to the cellular store and went inside. "Lilly? What happened- with my dad, who did he kill?"

Lilly held her breath and decided to tell him the truth, since he didn't know his father and wouldn't have an emotional tie to him. "He killed your mother and she was three months pregnant at the time." Lilly took Noah's hand and patted it. "I'm sorry."

Noah shrugged. "It's ok. I don't remember, but he must be one sick... fool... ah, you know." he blushed.

"I agree." she smiled, signing the contract while the man helping them gave Noah his phone after programing it for him. They walked outside in the warm sun.

"Let's get a quick snack." Lilly said. "We'll go have some ice cream. Still like vanilla?"

"My favorite. Does Luke still like chocolate?" Noah asked, opening the door to the ice cream shop for Lilly.

"How do you...?"

"I remember that bench and eating ice cream cones with Luke there. Or rather, I dreamed about it." Noah answered, walking to the counter, then ordered.

He and Lilly sat on the bench. While Noah licked his cone and Lilly ate her sundae, they watched people walk by.

Lilly set her cup and spoon on the bench and turned to Noah. "You know, I missed you so much. I can't say enough how happy I am that you came back. I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time with you, getting to know you and Holden is too. You're amazing Noah. The courage and strength you had to escape the hell you were raised in shows integrity. Despite what happened to you, I can tell you're a very nice boy."

Noah ducked his head. "Thank you Mrs. Sny... Lilly. I appreciate that. In fact, I appreciate everything you've done- believing me, believing IN me, taking me in, feeding me, buying me clothes... all of it. This is my dream come true, to find my family, and it's better than I could have ever imagined. I feel like I don't deserve any of this, but I don't know what I'd do without any of you." he wiped a tear away.

"Oh honey, don't cry and don't feel like you don't deserve any of this. You deserve to be cared for and loved, Noah. If anyone deserves it, it's you."

Noah looked up and hugged her. He didn't want to let go. Her scent of blossoming roses forced memories forth, happy memories of being tucked into bed and kissed on the forehead.

Lilly pulled away and smiled at Noah. "You know, we still have to talk to Jack. Are you up for that?"

"Yea, I want to get that over with." Noah said and finished his cone.

They went downtown and filed a report. It took a while for Noah to tell his story. Lilly listened in, comforting him when he needed it. By the time they got home, Noah was exhausted and just wanted to go to the guest bedroom to lay down before supper.

An hour later, Holden and Luke came home from Emma's. The family had been gathered there at Holden's request. He came right out and stated that Noah Mayer had come home and they'd all meet him soon. He and Luke answered questions about how and why and where Noah had been. It was good thinking on Holden's part to arrange this meeting without Noah, otherwise Noah would be bombarded with these questions and possibly be overwhelmed. Meg, Carly and Emma hugged Holden and Luke, congratulating them. They couldn't wait to see Noah again.

"He was such a sweetie pie when he was little." Emma dabbed her eyes.

"He and Luke used to make me push them on the swings at the park for what seemed like hours." Meg laughed. "Remember that Luke?"

"Uh, no." he shook his head.

"Oh, you boys used to eat my cookie dough before I could bake the cookies." Emma laughed.

"I know all about your cookies." Luke said, rubbing his stomach. "They're the best."

"Check in the container on the fridge." Emma pointed.

Luke grinned and went to the kitchen where he found chocolate chip cookies in the plastic container. He took four and walked back to the table where everyone was gathered.

"I better go." Carly announced, hugging Holden again, then Luke. "I'm so happy for you both. Jack told me about how he found Noah in the car. It's one of those miracles that happen to good people."

"Thank you Carly." Holden said respectfully. "Luke and I should head out too. Bye mama and Meg."

"Bring that boy by soon." Emma said, hugging her son and Luke.

"Count on it."

~~~~~~

Luke walked into the kitchen at home. He set two cookies on the counter and asked, "Where's Noah? I brought him some cookies from grandma's."

Lilly stirred the soup she'd made and replied, "Upstairs. He's tired after a long day and I believe he's napping."

"Oh yea." Luke said sarcastically, yet jokingly, "It's hard work shopping for clothes."

"We also went to the school and filled out forms in addition to going to the police station to talk to Jack and we went shopping and stopped to get him a cell phone." Lilly said sternly, looking at Luke like he should know better.

"A phone? He got a phone? Why can't I have one? It's not fair!" Luke grumbled loudly, staring at his mom. _Just because he's back, he gets a damn phone? What is she doing? Trying to get him to like her? God this sucks._

"Luke, calm down." Lilly took him by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "I want him to be able to call if the people that took him show up or if his 'father' comes and wants to be in his life. The man is a murderer and most likely not in the right frame of mind to take care of a teenager."

Luke pouted. It still wasn't fair. He'd asked for a phone about 6 months ago and was told he wasn't responsible enough to have one. He huffed and turned away, heading for the stairs. Maybe Noah would let him use his new toy?

He dashed up the stairs and down the hall to the guest room. The door was open so he entered, seeing about a dozen bags containing clothes and shoes and who knew what else. Luke looked away to subdue his jealousy. He saw Noah on his side, sleeping on the bed. A naughty smile played on Luke's lips. He took a running leap and bounced onto the bed, yelling like Tarzan.

The bed shook violently, waking Noah up.

"Shut up!" Noah said loudly and covered his ears.

"Get your butt up." Luke shook Noah's shoulder. "Show me what you got."

Luke bounced on the bed on his knees.

"It's all over there." Noah pointed to the left of the bed. "You can go through it if you want."

"Hmm..." Luke pressed his finger to his lips. "Uh, mom said something about buying a phone. Can I see that first?"

"Nightstand." Noah rolled over and yawned.

Luke walked swiftly to the phone and snatched it. "So freakin' awesome!" he exclaimed, turning the phone on and playing with the buttons. I'm gonna download a ringtone for you. 'It's Raining Men', would you like that?" Luke chuckled, staring at the phone. "Mind if I call Alan?" he asked as he punched the number in without waiting for Noah's approval.

"Hi Alan!" Luke grinned. "Guess what, I'm on a cell phone!" At the moment, it was more important than telling Alan his brother had come home.

"I know! It's cool." Luke nodded.

"Nah, it's not mine. My mom and dad won't let me have one."

"I don't know, they think I'm too young or some shit."

Noah was listening in and was shocked to hear that Luke didn't have a phone. _He's going to hate me! Maybe I can talk Lilly into getting him one too?_ Noah sat up and listened to Luke converse with his friend. He hoped he would get new friends. He missed Lee already and it hadn't been a week that he'd been gone.

"Oh! I almost forgot." Luke said, slapping his forehead. "Remember I told you and Bailey about the brother that I had? He got kidnapped?"

"Yea, well he's back!" Luke grinned, glanced at Noah, then fixed his gaze straight ahead. "Yes, he's coming to school tomorrow."

"I swear!" Luke shook his head, why would he lie about something like this?

"Yes, I'll introduce you. I'm sure you'll be friends, he's cool." Luke nibbled on his fingernail as Alan went on and on about how excited he was about meeting Noah. He finally interrupted and said, "I gotta go. I'm calling Bailey to tell her. Hey, did you ever ask her out?"

"Why the hell not?" Luke rolled his eyes. He looked at Noah, pointed to the phone and shook his head, mouthing the word 'chicken'. Noah snickered and rose from the bed. Now was as good a time as any to put his things away.

"Keep making excuses and you won't be going anywhere."

"No, you shut up." Luke teased back. "Bye." He immediately called Bailey. While he waited for her to pick up, he watched Noah fold some clothes and hang others.

"Mom bought that shirt for you?" Luke pointed to the popular name brand shirt he'd wanted. It cost more than his other clothes, but he really, really wanted it. "You have to let me borrow it. We're about the same size, right? Oh, hello? Bailey?" he smiled into the phone. "Guess what!"

Noah laid the shirt on the bed next to Luke, listening to him repeat what he'd told Alan about the phone. Luke was still on the phone by the time he was done putting his things away, so he went downstairs to see if he could help with supper.

"Hi Noah." Holden grinned at the sight of his son. "I heard you had a busy day. I hope you rested up."

"I did, thanks. Can I set the table or something?" Noah asked Lilly.

"No, you have a seat. I've got it covered." She looked over her shoulder and smiled at Noah. "What is Luke doing?"

"Talking on the phone, which reminds me. I feel a little guilty about having one when he doesn't. Um---"

"We've talked about it and decided he can have one his junior year. Right now he doesn't need one." Holden stated, sitting next to Noah.

"Oh." Noah said neutrally.

"What is it?" Lilly asked, ladling soup into bowls.

"I think he's jealous and I don't want anything to ruin our friendship." Noah spoke softly, looking at Holden, then Lilly through his thick eyelashes.

Holden narrowed his eyes. "Did Luke put you up to this?"

"Oh no, not at all sir." Noah answered quickly. "No, it's my idea. He doesn't even know I'm bringing it up."

"Maybe we'll rethink it." Holden said more to Lilly than Noah.

Luke came downstairs with a smile. "Hi family." he said, sitting across from Noah. "Smells like soup."

"Your favorite kind." Lilly responded, setting a bowl in front of him.

"Mmm" Luke hummed and picked up his spoon. Acting goofy, he slurped four teaspoons before Lilly made him stop, but that didn't stop Noah's laughter.

Noah kept on as though it were the funniest thing. He'd never had so much fun at supper-time before. He was used to being quiet, eating and getting out of the trailer or going to his bedroom as fast as possible. He found himself slowing down, enjoying the meal, the conversation and the company. He didn't want to leave the table, but he did when he was finished and found, to his delight, everyone gathered in the living room to watch tv before bed.

He was a part of a real family, he thought as he looked at the faces in the room. He smiled and turned back to the tv show.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-10

Luke and Noah waited outside for the bus. "Here comes Alan." Luke said to Noah and waved to his friend.

Alan ran the rest of the way and stared at Noah. "So you're--"

"This is my brother, Noah. Noah this douche bag is my best friend, Alan." he snickered when Noah gave him an appalled look for calling his friend by that name. Luke eased Noah's mind, "It's ok. He knows I'm kidding."

Noah nodded and turned to Alan. He stuck out his hand and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you. Luke has told me about you and I hope we become friends too."

"I only know a little about you, but it's still a pleasure to meet Luke's brother. You seem like a cool guy." Alan let go of Noah's hand after he shook it. "I look forward to hangin' out with you."

"Me too." Noah smiled. Making friends might not be so hard, he thought to himself.

"There's Bailey. Alan, now is your chance. Ask her!" Luke said in a loud whisper.

They all watched the brown haired cute girl nearing them. She was grinning and fixing her hair by tucking it behind her ears. "Hi Luke and Alan." she said while staring at Noah, flirting with him with her eyes. "Who are you?" she asked the tall, cute boy she'd never seen before, but heard about last night when Luke told her his brother was back.

"I'm Noah, Luke's--"

"He's my brother." Luke interrupted rudely. He noticed that Bailey seemed to be taken with Noah. "He's sitting with me on the bus, so you and Alan can sit next to each other." He stepped in front of Noah to break the trance-like spell she was under.

Alan stared at the ground contemplating what he should do. He looked up and said, "Bailey? Would you like to---"

"Noah," Bailey spoke over Alan's soft voice. "There's a dance next month, would you like to go with me, as friends?"

Luke turned around to look at Noah and to give him a sign that he should say no. Noah understood, but looked at Alan's face first. He looked so dejected, like he'd been cast aside, and in a way he had.

"Um... I-- I can't actually. Sorry Bailey. What were you going to say Alan? You were asking Bailey a question?"

Bailey turned to Alan and waited. "Well?" she asked. Alan looked like a deer caught in headlights. He gulped and lowered his eyes, staring at the top button on Baileys shirt. "I wanted to know if you'd go to the dance with me."

Bailey turned to Luke. She'd rather go with Noah, but he said he couldn't. Her first choice had been Luke, but he never asked her despite all the hints she gave him. _I should have just came out and asked Luke! Now I'm stuck with Alan and his ugly glasses. Crap!_

"Sure, I'll go as friends." she answered. "Luke, are you going? I'd like to have a dance with you, you too Noah, if you find out you can come."

Luke shrugged. "Don't know yet." He looked at Alan and saw his friend was standing up straight and appeared to have moved closer to Bailey. Luke snickered and saw the bus coming. "All aboard the bus- destination- hell."

The other three laughed and got on when the doors opened.

~.~.~

"First things first Noah." Luke said, entering the school and walking right next to him. "Stay away from jocks and the ones dressed in all black wearing black makeup and black fingernail polish. You don't want to get on their bad side."

"We had people like that where I went to school too." Noah opened the office door. He had to get his schedule. He stood at the chest high counter waiting for the secretary while Luke stood back a little.

Johnny, a football player, came into the office and scoffed at Luke. "Hey princess."

"Fuck off Johnny." Luke muttered angrily.

Noah turned around and saw who Luke was talking to. It was a tall, muscular boy with bluish-green eyes and blond hair. He wanted to say something, but to do so would make things worse for Luke.

"Love that piece of glass you wear on your finger. Is that a genuine piece of shit or is it a fake shit?" Johnny laughed. "Thought you'd wear your princess dress today."

"No, I'm saving that for Friday dipshit." Luke spat, glanced at Noah, then back at Johnny.

"You're a funny little tranny." Johnny laughed and went to the counter. He looked at Noah, who was leaning on it. "You new here?" he asked Noah, looking him up and down.

_Oh no!_ Thought Luke. _His first day and he's going to get picked on!_

"Yea, it's my first day." Noah answered.

_Noah! You dickwad! I literally told you a few minutes ago to stay away from his type of people!_

"You should try out for football. You're a nice height and you have a good form. I can talk to the Coach if you're interested."

"Uh, sure." Noah replied, seeing that Luke's face registered annoyance and disbelief. Noah looked away and smiled tightly at the football player.

"I'm John, but my friends call me Johnny."

"Noah Mayer."

_Oh sure! Use that last name so you don't have to be associated with me! Well good luck finding your way around Noah Mayer! Bye sucker._ Luke turned to the door and heard---

"I can show you around. It's like a maze, believe me. I was lost for two months after the first day of high school!" Johnny laughed.

Noah laughed too and turned to see if Luke thought it was funny, but all he saw was the back of his blond head just before the door closed. _Great. He's mad, but I want to make friends with other people in addition to his friends._

The good thing about a small town, Noah came to realize, is that the curriculum was right where he'd been at when he went to high school in Ohio, in his freshman year. This was going to be a piece of cake. He'd liked all his classes so far and all of his teachers welcomed him warmly into their rooms. He even rose his hand to answer questions.

When lunch rolled around, Noah got in line and took a tray. He loaded it up and paid for it with the money Lilly gave him this morning. After receiving his change, he turned to look for Luke. He grinned when he saw Alan, Bailey and Luke sitting at the far end of the room. He was almost at their table, when Johnny stopped him.

Luke and his friends looked up, seeing Noah and the football player talking. Luke scowled and purposely dropped his fork on his tray, clanging it loudly.

"What's he doing?" Alan asked.

"Why is he talking to that jock-hole?" Bailey stared at the friendly stance Johnny and Noah shared.

Luke made a sharp, snide remark, "Noah has this idea he's going to play football."

Bailey and Alan sat there staring while Luke became more and more irritated. "I'm leaving." he stated, but before he made a move, Noah turned to the table and walked to it, then set his tray down and sat next to Luke.

"Hi." he smiled at everyone.

"What did Johnny want?" Alan asked, astounded that Noah had talked to the jock.

"Just to tell me that if I want to try out for football, the Coach will see me today after school." he answered the question before he picked up his chicken sandwich and bit into it eagerly.

"You're going to miss the bus if you do." Luke stated.

"I can call Lilly, or you can tell her to pick me up when you get home. Can't you?" Noah asked.

"I _could_." Luke muttered dryly, "If I wanted to."

Bailey looked at Luke with a surprised look on her face. "You're jealous."

Luke quickly looked up and frowned. "Am not!" he said angrily.

"Yes!" she laughed. "He comes to school on his first day and he's already 'in' with the popular crowd."

"So what? More power to him." Luke stood up, glanced down at Noah and stormed off.

"What's up with him?" Noah asked.

"I wouldn't worry." Alan stated, knowing Luke was jealous, but he didn't want Noah to feel at fault so he lied, "He gets like this sometimes when he gets picked on."

"Picked on? Like Johnny teasing him about wearing dresses and that ring?"

"Well, yea." Bailey answered, "Except he doesn't wear a dress."

"He gets razzed for wearing a ring? That's so stupid!" Noah shook his head.

"The whole football team is stupid." Alan replied. "Luke doesn't take it personally and he always has a comeback. Don't worry about him. This will blow over."

"So Noah," Bailey leaned on her elbow towards Noah. "Tell me all about yourself. Where did you live before and how did you find the Snyders'?"

Luke kicked open the outer doors to the school and sat on the steps. His stomach growled but he didn't care. He didn't feel like eating. He thought things would be different at school with his brother. That they'd hang out and be best friends. He didn't think Noah would go outside the safety zone and befriend a jock.

_Great. Just great. I thought we bonded the other night when we talked. We had so much fun. I thought it would be like that. I thought he'd want to be with me and my friends, but he doesn't. Maybe because I'm not popular. Screw him. I don't want to be popular. I like __who I am and I like my friends too! He can hang around whoever he wants to. He better not expect me to---_

"Hi fairy princess." Johnny snickered, as did the four other football players with him.

"Whatever." Luke dismissed him.

"Did you ask your boyfriend to the dance? I'd love to see the dress you wear. Frilly, pink and sparkly is my guess. Did you go to 'Fashions' and buy it yet?"

"I went, but Kim said she sold the last one to you." Luke lifted his face and sneered.

"Smart ass." Johnny walked past Luke, giving him a noogie on the head as he did.

Luke ducked his head and swore, "Asshole." He waited until Johnny and his crew went inside, then he went to his locker, the one that the principal also assigned to Noah because he thought it would be better than giving Noah one in the Junior and Senior section of the school. He quickly opened his locker and retrieved his books.

"Leave it open!" Noah yelled, running toward Luke. Luke took one look at Noah and slammed it shut.

"Hey!" Noah said out of breath. "Why did you do that?"

"You need practice opening it and you should have memorized the combination. You have, haven't you? This is a good way to learn it. I'm helping you by exercising your memory, that's all. Have a good day." Luke walked away with an attitude, leaving Noah speechless. The only thing he could attribute Luke's mood to was Johnny. Ever since this morning in the office, Luke had been distant and crabby. He turned the dial on the combination and eventually got the locker open.

At home later, Luke sat at the kitchen table, ready to start his homework when Noah came in.

"Why did you sit with Alan on the bus? I had to deal with Bailey swooning over me and practically drooling in my lap."

"Oh poor you." Luke said, staring at the problems in his book. "I have to study, so if you don't mind, shoo." He waved his hand.

"I do mind. Luke," Noah asked sensitively, "What's wrong? Are you mad about the football thing? I don't have to join."

"So now you want me to tell you what to do and what not to do? I can't." Luke looked up. "Do what you want. We're different and we like different things and people. I wanted to be close to you, but it looks like we really did grow apart. Eleven years is a hell of a long time." He looked away, hiding the fear in his eyes. He heard Noah let out a small discouraged grunt.

"God, I--- I thought... we had... a connec-"

"Nope." Luke shook his head. "Attribute it to being happy when we saw one another again. The novelty has worn off, don't you think?"

Noah frowned. Luke's words were cutting and hurtful. "Would you rather I hadn't come back? Do you want me to leave, is that it?" he asked in a soft voice.

Luke closed his eyes. _No! Of course not! You're my brother! Nothing will ever come between us. I'm jealous. I want to be in your life, I want the things you're getting from my parents and all the attention at school, but that's stupid. I should be happy for you! Happy that you're fitting in. I should be proud that you're my brother. I AM proud of you and I'm so happy you came back._ Luke wanted to say all those things, but he couldn't.

"No, I don't want you to leave." Luke whispered and opened his eyes, but Noah had already left the room. Luke sighed and rested his forehead on his hand. "I'm such an idiot!" He pushed his chair back to stand up. He intended to go straight upstairs and talk to Noah and apologize, but the phone rang.

"Snyders." Luke said into the phone that was hanging in the kitchen while he glanced out the window.

"Is Luke there?" a male voice asked.

"This is."

"Ah, princess."

Luke rolled his head back and looked at the ceiling. "What do you want and how did you get this number?"

"Give me some credit, not all football players are stupid. The phone book, duh! Didn't they give you some fairy dust to sprinkle on your head when you were born. It makes you smart you know."

"Whatever Johnny, what do you want?" Luke asked, getting annoyed. Who did this jock think he was calling him at home?

"I need some help, princess. Geometry? Mr. G. said you could help." Johnny said in a surprisingly kind way.

"God... I don't know." Luke didn't want to help him, but if Noah was going to be friends with Johnny, maybe they all could be friends together.

"Come onnnn... come over to my house." Johnny drawled. "You can wear my mom's dresses and heels. Does that tempt you?"

"Dude, I don't dress up in womens clothing, nor have I ever done that, nor do I ever want to." Luke said, hanging up. "Asshole!" he yelled at the phone.

"Luke!" Lilly wagged a finger at him. "I don't appreciate that language coming from you."

"Sorry."

"Who was that on the phone?" Lilly asked, watching Luke sulk away from the phone and sit at the table.

Luke picked his pencil up and answered, "Some dumb jock. I took care of it."

Noah walked into the kitchen, hearing what Luke said on the phone about womens clothing, but he didn't comment or look at Luke. Instead he asked, "Lilly, can I talk to you? Alone?"

"Yes Noah, we'll go to my office."

Luke turned his body and watched them go, feeling left out. He really wanted Noah to confide in him, but at the moment he wasn't feeling like he could listen without criticism and prejudice. He was in a bad mood. He glared at Noah's back and as soon as his mom and brother were out of the room, he turned back to his books and thought about Johnny and the idiotic phone call. _Did he call to tease me or was he really serious about needing help? I don't care! He's a dumb jock and not worth my thoughts._

Lilly closed the door to her office and motioned for Noah to sit in the big, overstuffed, forest green upholstered chair. He looked around, seeing a big desk, paperwork, a computer, beautiful pictures on the wall and a large window behind the desk; the view was of the backyard. He could see the flower garden where he'd played and the hill he rolled down with Luke. A memory of him and Luke sledding down that hill came to him too. He smiled. Looking at the hill, he saw that it was so small. Back when he was five, it seemed to reach the sky. He chuckled and told Lilly.

She smiled with nostalgia at Noah's memory and peeked out the window. "Holden and I used to have snowball fights with you boys. We spent all day building you and Luke a fort and a pile of snowballs. Of course you and he always won." She turned back to Noah. "You boys were so cute and adorable. You've grown into a very handsome man."

"Uh, thanks." Noah looked at the carpet, a beige expensive one. He was embarrassed. Connie and her sexual remarks had made him feel strange, but Lilly's compliments were heartfelt and she didn't sound like she was coming on to him. In fact, Noah knew she wasn't and wouldn't. He needed to break his mind out of those thoughts when a woman spoke to him. Not all of them were like Connie.

Lilly took a seat in the other overstuffed chair and asked, "You wanted to talk to me about something? You can say anything you want Noah. I want you to believe that, to trust me and Holden... Luke too."

"About that... Luke is mad at me. That's what I need advice on."

"What is it?" Lilly asked, having no idea why Luke would be upset. He'd always had a happy-go-lucky type of personality.

"Well...." Noah said, looking up and scratching his head due to nerves. "I made a friend, a football player named Johnny. He wants me to go out for the team and he went so far as to talk to the coach for me. He's popular and Luke and his friends aren't. I think he's jealous. Not only about school, but about the cell phone, and the clothes. I feel like he resents all the attention I'm receiving." _-and maybe he resents me._

Lilly sighed. "He might be, but Noah, you need clothes and your own friends. He can't expect you to go to school and not fit in with others. He'll get over it, I'm sure."

"He's not talking to me. I feel really bad. I want to be close to him, be real brothers, but I don't think he wants me here."

"It's not his decision. He can be bullheaded and stubborn sometimes, but he's a very caring, sweet boy too. He'll come around- I promise you. And if he doesn't, Holden and I will have a talk with him, ok?"

"I suppose, but don't make it about me, please?"

"Of course." Lilly smiled and patted his hand. A knock on the door, then Holden's head peeking in made them both turn to the door.

"Noah, just the man I wanted to see." Holden walked into the room. "Would you like to go to the farm with me and meet your grandmother Emma? I have an ulterior motive too. I need help getting the horses in, fed and watered. Would you like to help?"

"Sure!" Noah grinned, standing up. "Is Luke coming too?"

"No, he's still doing homework and I don't want to disrupt him."

"Oh." Noah said. He looked at Lilly and said, "Bye."

"Bye honey." Lilly replied, walking to her desk and sitting behind it. "Have fun."

"Oh I almost forgot." Noah said, walking to the desk and leaning over it. "I need to ask you for a favor, if you don't mind."

"Not at all." Lilly answered with an interested look in her eyes.

Noah whispered across the desk, seeing Lilly nod and smile.

"Of course. Remind me before you leave for school tomorrow."

**[at the farm]**

Holden pulled up to the white farmhouse. "Recognize anything?"

Noah looked around eagerly, wanting something to stand out. He was disappointed, "No, nothing." he said, discouraged. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. You were just a little tyke. You can't be expected to remember everything. I sure don't and the older I get, the less I remember."

"That's cuz you're losing brain cells." Noah teased, then wondered if he should have, but Holden laughed heartily.

"I'll introduce you to mama first, then we'll do chores." Holden said as he opened the truck door and got out. Noah followed close behind, a little wary and frightened. He took the steps up the porch slowly, then walked inside, right into the kitchen and looked around. He just now remembered the kitchen island. He could barely reach the top to sneak cookie dough when he was young. He remembered little Luke pushing a kitchen chair across the floor and both of them standing on it, eating the raw dough right out of the plastic bowl.

"Mama?" Holden asked the empty room.

"Be right there." A woman's voice called out. Soon, she came into the room.

Noah studied the woman with black curly hair. She was shorter than him and on the heavy side.

"Is this Noah?" she asked, walking to him with her arms outstretched. "It is, isn't it?" she said to Holden while she hugged Noah tightly.

"Yes, this is our Noah." Holden said proudly.

"My boy!" Emma said, crying. "We have all missed you so much and now look at you. You've practically grown up." She backed away to see him, to see if he was real.

"Noah," Holden said with a hand on his shoulder, "this is your grandmother Emma. Mama, this is him." He proudly looked at his son and smiled.

"You must come and have a seat at the kitchen table. I made cookies, your favorite- chocolate chip. At least they were your favorite." she said, walking to the tupperware dish above the refrigerator and back. She set it on the table in front of Noah and opened the lid. "Help yourself."

"Mmm, they're still my favorite." Noah assured her, taking a bite and savored the chewy chocolate cookie.

"Noah is going to help with the horses today." Holden said, snatching a cookie.

"Oh?" Emma asked, looking at Noah. "Holden is a good teacher. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it right away. Don't make any soup though." They all shared a laugh.

Luke got up and stretched. He dropped his pen on the table and went upstairs to apologize to Noah now that he'd calmed down. At least he assumed he was up there. He looked in his own room first, in case Noah was on the little bed by the toy box, reminiscing- he wasn't in there. Luke walked to the guest bedroom, finding it empty as well. He rubbed his jaw and bounded down stairs, checking rooms and eventually came to his mom's office. He knocked and entered, asking, "I can't find Noah. Did he leave? I was kinda mean to him and I'm afraid he might have taken me the wrong way."

"He went to the farm with your father." Lilly replied, typing on the keyboard.

"What? Why didn't they ask me to go?" Luke asked angrily.

"Holden wanted to introduce Noah to Emma and teach him how to do chores. It's no big deal, they're bonding and Noah needs a father figure in his life."

_No big deal? That's mine and dad's thing to do. WE bond and talk while we do chores. Noah's trying to butt in! Why can't dad find something else to do with Noah? Now doing chores together is going to be routine and not special. God, I used to tell dad everything, now with Noah there, I can't. This sucks big time! I wish Noah hadn't come back... no, I'm glad he's back, but... I wish he'd quit barging in __on my life._

Luke made a face of displeasure and humphed loudly. He was about to leave the room, but Lilly called him back and told him to sit on the chair Noah had been sitting on just a while ago.

"What?" Luke asked as if being here was preventing him from being somewhere and doing something important.

"Noah didn't have it good like you do. His... 'parents'... I guess I you could call them, mistreated him. He was abused physically and sexually and I don't know if you know this, but he was also deprived of things you take for granted every day. He's never had a role model in his life, never been cared for except by his mother, who treated him more like a lover than a son. So, please take a step back and think about that the next time you get jealous or mad at him. Your dad and I want Noah to live here knowing what love is and that will mean spending time with him, getting to know him, trying to get him comfortable and if you have any hang ups about him, that will hinder what we're trying to do."

Luke gulped. Noah didn't tell him about his mother. What a sick woman! He thought. "I'm sorry. I'll try harder."

"You know we love you, we have enough love for you AND Noah. It'll be different around here, but I hope you can adjust."

"Yes, I will." Luke said, determined to help Noah. If they had different friends, then so be it. He was still his brother no matter what.

"Good. You know, I'm proud of you." Lilly smiled.

"Why?" Luke asked.

"For being you." Lilly replied and looked at the computer screen, seeing the time. "They should be back soon. It would be nice if you and Noah had a talk."

"Ok." Luke stood up.

"That's my boy." she said, winking at him.

Luke turned on the tv in the living room and plopped on the couch with the remote in his hand. He flipped through hundreds of channels as he waited for Noah. He looked behind himself and made sure he was alone. He was and flipped the tv to a cable channel for gay males and females. The movie on right now was about two gay teenagers who were best friends, but one had a crush the other boy. Luke watched it with interest up until the part where the one teen finally admitted his attraction. He had to quickly turn the channel when the front door opened and his dad and Noah strode in laughing.

Luke stood up, facing them and gazed at Noah. He had stuff from the ground in his hair and mud on his shoes and his knees. Luke smirked, knowing that a horse must have pushed him over with its rear end. "Nice look Noah. I especially love the straw and grass in your hair. Not to mention," Luke inhaled deeply, "the smell of your cologne. What is that called? Eau De Horse Manure?" He laughed.

Noah chuckled and ran his hand through his dark wavy hair.

"I'm taking a shower. Thanks Noah." Holden said patting Noah's back before he walked away.

Noah set his shoes by the door and walked to Luke. "So, we're talking again?"

Luke nodded. "Yea, sorry I got mad at you. I had no right to treat you like I did." He looked up and took a few pieces of straw out of Noah's hair, then he smiled, meeting Noah's beautiful blue eyes.

Noah felt lightheaded looking into Luke's eyes. He could easily fall into the depths of brown and green. The gaze lasted for more than necessary. It was very quiet for a few seconds until Luke chuckled and backed away.

"Thanks." Noah said.

Luke didn't know if he was thanking him for apologizing or for taking the straw out of his hair, at any rate, Luke said, "You're welcome."

"I'd better shower too, before supper. I worked up an appetite." Noah said, turning toward the stairs.

"Did you have a nice visit? Do you like grandma?" Luke asked while he followed Noah.

Noah took a long look at Luke and exclaimed happily with his face animated, "It was awesome! Emma is so nice."

"I love it at the farm. Animals, so much land to hike around, the pond, grandma's cooking and it's the place for all family gatherings. It's very homey."

"I felt that when I was there- the feeling of comfort and coziness, that is." Noah turned when he reached the bathroom. "I'm gonna--" he hitched a thumb, pointing into the bathroom.

"Oh, go ahead. I'll just sit on the counter and talk to you." Luke said casually. "If you don't mind." he quickly added.

"Uhmm" Noah regarded Luke for a moment, then shrugged. "Ok."

Noah went into the shower fully clothed and undressed, throwing his clothes over the closed shower curtain.

"So Noah," Luke said just as the shower started. "I know I was an ass today about Johnny and the football thing. I think if you're really interested in going out for the team, then you should."

Noah stood under the luxurious feeling shower. "It's ok. I'm not that interested. I thought it might be fun to try, but I don't have my mind set on it."

Luke silently cheered. "I also know we're going to have different friends and that's ok too."

Noah peered around the curtain at Luke and said, "I like Alan and Bailey, even if she has a little crush on me." he chuckled after he closed the curtain.

"You AND me. Poor Alan, Bailey isn't into him so much. I hope they have a good time at the dance."

"I think you should go, even if you don't ask someone to go with you."

"What, and sit on the sidelines? No way. I don't do school events." Luke said, turning the fake diamond ring on his finger. It was huge, taking up the space from one knuckle to the next, but he liked it anyway.

"I'll go if you go." Noah bargained with his brother. Who knows, maybe he'd meet a nice guy at this school.

"Maybe." Luke said, swinging his legs.

"Hand me a towel?" Noah asked, shaking his head, splattering the walls with droplets of water from the ends off his hair.

Luke hopped down and went to the closet in the bathroom. He pulled out a big, cotton bath towel and opened the shower curtain all the way. "Here." he said, meeting Noah's shocked gaze.

Noah jumped and covered himself quickly with his hand. He snatched the towel out of Luke's hand and slid the curtain closed. "Dammit man! What are you doing?"

"Giving you a towel, what else? You think I want to look at you naked or something? My own brother.... who's a guy? Ew." Luke laughed.

"Funny." Noah remarked sarcastically. "Next time warn me."

"So you think there's gonna be a next time, huh?" Luke crossed his arms, leaned his butt on the edge of the counter and smirked.

"N-- No, I just meant- Whatever. You're messing with me." Noah laughed. "This is cool."

"What is?"

"This, talking and getting along, getting to know each other. I like it here and it feels like a whole new beginning to my life. For the first time, I'm not scared, or worried about my future, and about what might happen to me. I'm safe."

Luke felt so bad for the way he'd treated Noah and what Noah just said added to his pain. "I am really sorry I said the things I did. Next time punch me or tell me to shut the hell up. Don't be afraid to say anything to me. We're equals, ok?"

"Thank you. That means so much to me Luke." Noah's voice became raw and rough.

"Are you crying?" Luke asked, taking a step to the shower curtain.

"Yea... I seem to do that a lot lately." he sobbed.

"I'm opening the curtain."

Noah tucked the towel into itself and said, "Ok."

Luke pulled the curtain back, seeing Noah with his head down, his bare, wet chest and his lean tight waist and the towel hugging his hips. "Come here." he said, reaching for Noah and pulling him into a hug. A nice tight hug that squeezed all the sorrow from Noah. "Brothers forever, remember Noah?"

"Yes."

"I mean it. Nothing is gonna take us down. Ever."

"Ever." Noah repeated, lifting his head and smiling at Luke, who smiled back.

"Better get dressed before you catch a cold." Luke said, then explained, "My mom used to say that. I don't think it's true. Can you really catch a cold by being cold?"

"Don't know." Noah chuckled and stepped out of the tub. Luke followed him to the guest bedroom and took a seat on the bed.

Noah held his breath as he took out clothes to wear. "Um, this time, could you wait outside the door?"

"Ok Mr. I'm Too Shy to be Naked in Front of my Brother." Luke said in a silly deep voice. He stepped into the hall, then sprang to his room. When Noah was done dressing, he opened the door and invited Luke in. Again, Luke sat on the bed, this time with a photo album held to his chest.

"So, do you like getting poked or sticking it to 'em?" Luke asked forwardly with a blush on his cheeks.

"What?" Noah cocked his head, wondering what Luke was talking about. Poke? Stick it to them? To who?"

"You know... s-e-x." Luke whispered. "Which way do you like it?"

"Oh!" Noah blushed and turned away from Luke. He walked to his dresser as he replied, "I haven't had sex yet. I haven't even dated. In fact, I don't even know any other gay people and I told you I'm not out... so..."

"I know, I guess I was just wondering where your head was at. No prob bro." Luke said. He set the album on the bed before he got up and stood behind Noah. He patted him on the back and said, "I'm sure if you come out, you'll be accepted."

Noah turned around asking, "How would you know?"

"I don't, but mom and dad are nice and they don't discriminate." Luke answered, taking a step back. He went back to the bed. "Come here, I want to show you something, a few somethings actually."

He and Noah sat on the bed. Noah watched as Luke put the photo album on his lap and opened it. Noah saw two, two year olds in a crib together. One with fine dark hair and the other with hair so light it was almost white.

"Is that--" Noah pointed at himself.

"You.... and me." Luke smiled. "Of course I was the cuter one." He elbowed Noah as he giggled.

"Wow. I've never seen pictures of myself at a young age. Cool!"

Luke turned the page. They were naked in the bathtub. "Look, I've got the bigger dick too." Luke slapped Noah's leg, teasing his brother.

"No, you ARE a bigger dick." Noah laughed, eyeing his soapy head and wet body in the picture. They both had big grins, showing only a few teeth. "Next page."

As Luke showed Noah the years when he was two, three and four, they laughed and had 'aww' moments. They were usually together in each picture. Only a few showed one or the other alone.

Luke became excited and pointed, "There! I'm the farmer and you're the pirate. See that sword and what you're doing?" Luke smirked. "Poking me in the butt with it while I'm trying to pose nice. Maybe I was a cowboy. I have that hat on. Hm."

"It's a cute picture." Noah grinned.

Luke turned the page; showing his fifth year birthday party.

"I remember that!" Noah said excitedly. "The people in the picture were ones he'd dreamed about and the cake was there too." In another picture, Luke was opening presents and showing a remote control dinosaur he'd received from someone. Noah smiled as nostalgically. He snickered at the picture of them both with red frosting covering their lips; making them look as if they had lipstick on. He laughed hard at the next one where they had their mouths open with their tongues stuck out. Their whole mouth- tongue and teeth- were dark red.

Luke watched Noah, instead of looking at the pictures. He enjoyed hearing his brother laugh and also the expressions on his face; happy and interested.

Luke turned the page again, looking down, he smiled at the series of pictures.

"LUKE!" Noah pointed before he looked up. "I remember that so clearly." he stated excitedly, seeing himself in an unwrinkled white shirt and black dress shoes. There was the bluish-purple ring on his finger, his hand in a fist so that it wouldn't fall off. He smiled at himself, then looked at Luke in his sundress. "Aw, you're so pretty." he snickered.

"I am." Luke smiled, gazing at the little Noah in the picture, then at sixteen year old Noah.

They looked at more pictures- ones of themselves sitting in the sunroom, pretending to have a tea party with their toys. The next few showed a pizza party with a small cake to celebrate them being brothers, playing in the sandbox, at the park, making a snowman, opening Christmas gifts....

He set the book aside and hugged his brother. "Glad you're back."

Noah sighed happily in Luke's embrace. "Good to be back." He closed his eyes and smelled peaches, the scent of little-Luke from his childhood spent with him at this home.

Luke pulled away, breaking the hug. He smiled adorably- showing his dimples. "Supper is probably ready, coming down farmer Noah?" He teased because he'd helped out at grandma Emma's farm. He stood up and Noah followed suit.

"Yes, race ya!" Noah replied and ran around Luke. He bounced down the stairs, almost losing his footing, but he held the rail tightly. When he got in the kitchen, he saw that Luke was already there. "How...?" Noah looked behind himself, then back to Luke, who was laughing hard.

"There's a back stairs that servants had to use a long, long time ago. I used it. It's faster." Luke continued to laugh.

"Boys, set the table please." Lilly smirked, enjoying their laughter and conversation.

"You never told me about those stairs!" Noah pushed Luke's shoulder in fun.

"Butt-hole!" Luke pushed back.

"That's enough." Holden said, walking into the kitchen shaking his head. "Luke, the word butt-hole is not to be used in this house."

"Ok dad, but Noah taught it to me." he said, trying to act innocent.

"Yea right." Holden said sarcastically with a knowing smile. "Don't be a butt-hole by trying to get your brother into trouble." He chuckled when Lilly said astonished, "Holden! Don't egg them on."

Luke and Noah giggled together and set the table. They had just taken their seats when the phone rang.

"I'll get that." Holden said, walking to the phone. "Hello?" He covered the phone when the person on the other end introduced himself. He whispered to his family, "It's our lawyer. Cross your fingers that we can adopt you Noah."

All eyes were on Holden when he hung up the phone. His posture said it hadn't been a good phone call. He turned around. They saw how sad his eyes looked and knew. When he was seated at the table, he looked at Noah and spoke apologetically, "I'm sorry. The lawyer said there is no way we cannot adopt you."

"What? Why not?" Lilly rose her voice, her face showed worry and anger.

"Dad, why can't he stay here?" Luke asked, glancing at the grim expression on Noah's face.

"Just a minute. He can stay, but we cannot adopt him since no one seems to know where Mr. Mayer is. Without his consent and signature giving up his rights as Noah's father, he is not adoptable. However, the good news is that the foster care agency has agreed to allow Noah to stay here until his father shows up."

"What if he never shows up?" Lilly asked, hoping that would be the case since Mr. Mayer had never shown an interest in Noah before. He'd never written to Noah or sent birthday gifts or cards during the three years he was with the Snyder's and he'd never called to inquire about him.

"So, do you even want me here then?" Noah looked up, feeling ill.

"Yes honey!" Lilly said aggressively, assuring Noah he had a home.

"Thank you." Noah finally smiled again.

That night, Noah woke up in a cold sweat and looked around. He couldn't make out where he was. He waited for his eyes to adjust. Relieved, he knew just where he was - he was not in his bedroom at the trailer with his mom and Earl as he'd been dreaming. He shivered, still feeling the fear from his dream affect his mind and body. He threw the blankets off and rose out of bed. He quietly padded down the hall and entered Luke's room. He waited a second, then decided to go in.

Standing at the side of Luke's bed, he whispered, "Luke? Luke, are you awake? I need to talk."

"Muummph..." Luke mumbled and rolled over.

Noah bit his lip and looked around. He didn't know what to do. He turned back to Luke's bed and hesitated. He couldn't go back to the guest room, not while the nightmare was still fresh in his mind. He lifted Luke's blankets and crawled into bed with his brother. He gently pushed Luke over so he had enough room, then snuggled down to lay on the spot Luke had been sleeping and felt his warmth. Noah smiled and closed his eyes.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-11

~~~~~~

The end of the last chapter....  
_He lifted Luke's blankets and crawled into bed with his brother. He gently pushed Luke over so he had enough room, then snuggled down to lay on the spot Luke had been sleeping and felt his warmth. Noah smiled and closed his eyes. _

Luke woke in the middle of the night and found his brother in bed next to him. Confused, he semi-sat up and woke Noah by shaking him.

"Wake up!"

Noah opened his eyes. "Oh, hi." he said sleepily with a sigh.

"What are you doing in here?" Luke asked in a more quiet voice.

Noah paused, wondering if his brother would laugh at him and think he was a sissy. He went for it anyway, "Would you believe I had a bad dream?"

"Yes."

"It was awful. I felt alone and scared when I woke up from it, so I came in here. Do you mind?"

"No." Luke laid down again. "Here, let me give you a hug." He opened his arms and Noah snuggled right into them, sighing contentedly.

"Thanks Luke. You're a great brother." Noah said. He was so relieved! He'd never had anyone to go to in the middle of the night to comfort him when he needed it.

Luke felt him begin to pull away, but held him tightly. "Stay here until you fall asleep. I'll be on the lookout for boogeymen and monsters." he chuckled softly.

"You're funny too. I like that." Noah smiled, getting a whiff of Luke's sleepy scent.

"I try." Luke rested his chin on top of Noah's head. "Go to sleep."

"I don't know if I can now. Some dork woke me up." He said, trying not to laugh.

"I'll get you to fall asleep." Luke said. He told Noah who he was related to and how. He went into detail describing each person's character and personality. He felt Noah relax in his arms and heavy breathing that came with sleep. He closed his eyes and fell asleep too, still holding and protecting his brother.

Noah woke first and gazed at his brother's face. He had long, long dark eyelashes and his blond hair fell across one eye. His lips were full and plump. Noah was tempted to touch them lightly with his fingertip, but of course he wouldn't. That was crossing a line. Luke was his brother and he didn't want to have feelings for him like that.

_I'm just glad to be back, to be home. I want to be close to him like brothers are and I don't know how to do that yet. I do know that he's so sweet to want take care of me._

He snuck out of Luke's room. In the guest bedroom, he dressed and got ready for school, then heard the blare of Luke's alarm.

"How are you?" Luke asked, standing in the doorway to the guest bedroom.

Noah turned around, seeing Luke in his white boxer briefs. "I'm better, thanks for last night. I really needed you."

"Anytime." Luke said through a yawn. "Later."

While the four of them waited for the bus, Bailey gazed at Noah. "So, how are you fitting in?" Luke quickly took a look at Noah to see how he'd answer.

"Pretty well. The Snyders' are really nice and make me feel welcome and at home."

"I can see that." Alan nodded. "Luke is a pretty good guy when he's not playing pranks on us."

Luke giggled. "I'm not that bad."

"Um, yea... you are sometimes. Super gluing my assignments together and writing stuff on the outside of my locker. Yes, you are bad." Alan said, looking at Noah. "Watch out so he doesn't get you."

"He used to pull my ponytail, but he outgrew that.... last week." Bailey laughed. "He also tells me stuff like 'there's a book report due today.'-- when there wasn't, or 'did I finish the geometry assignment?'-- when we didn't have one. Talk about a panic attack." she bumped Luke with her hip, throwing him off balance, but Noah caught him.

"Thanks bro." He smiled at Noah and turned back to his friends. "You better be doubly worried now. I have a brother. That's two of us to play jokes on you."

"Nah," Bailey said with a smile for Noah. "He's too cute to be bad. You Luke, are the devil and Noah's the angel. Abel and Cain right here."

Luke narrowed his eyes and made a face at her.

"Bus." Alan said happily because Luke and Noah would sit together and he and Bailey would share a seat. Today he'd try to talk to her a little more, gain some courage and confidence like Luke and Noah exuded.

"I can't wait to go to the dance." Alan said once they were seated on the bus. It smelled like diesel and plastic inside.

"Oh?" Bailey asked, taking a look at Alan. She saw how eager he was and tried to be nicer about it. They were friends, but she didn't want it to go farther than that. Now if it had been Luke... definitely. She could see herself with him. He made her laugh and he was absolutely the handsomest guy in the sophomore grade. Noah was equally good looking, although his appearance was the opposite of Luke's- dark wavy hair and blue eyes. He was a smidgen taller too. Why couldn't Luke or Noah be interested in me? She wondered. Maybe they haven't matured enough to like girls yet? No, that's stupid. They're old enough... so what is it? Is it me?

"I'm getting a suit and I want to match my handkerchief with the color of your dress. Do you know what you're wearing?" Alan asked her.

"No." Bailey shook her head. "It's a month away. I'm not going shopping now." She looked at him again. He wasn't too bad looking. His hair was plain brown and cut like a normal boy would have it cut. Short on the sides and in back and his bangs weren't as long at Luke's - they were just above his eyebrows. She didn't like the kind of glasses he wore. The frame was too big for his face and he looked geeky, but she overlooked it because she was his friend, but now that they had a date, was it a date?, she was a little embarrassed to go with him to the dance. What if he humiliated her? She turned in her seat, seeing Luke and Noah talking and chuckling. She interrupted, "You guys have to come to the dance. We'll have fun. Please?"

Noah shrugged. "I don't really dance."

"Me either." Luke added. "I have two right feet."

Noah nudged Luke. "You mean two left feet."

"You have your feet and I have mine, mine are right feet." Luke stuck his tongue out.

"Brat." Noah laughed.

"Bunghole." Luke laughed harder.

"Dickhole." Noah was still laughing and rested his forehead on Luke's shoulder to remain somewhat composed.

Luke whispered, "Maneater."

Noah lifted his head with a worried look on his face. "Shhh! I don't want anyone to know. I thought you understood that."

"I do, that's why I whispered it." Luke replied. He came close to Noah's ear and asked, "So, have you?"

"Done **that**?"

"Yes... a bj. Given or received one?" Luke asked inquisitively.

Noah shook his head and whispered back, "I told you I'm a virgin in every sense of the word. Never been kissed. You?"

"Suck off a guy?" Luke asked astonishingly in Noah's ear. "No, uh-uh."

"I meant, have you ever kissed a girl. I know you wouldn't kiss a guy. Sheesh." he whispered.

Luke reddened and shook his head. "No."

"We're pathetic." Noah laughed.

"Why are you pathetic?" Alan asked, hearing Noah's last statement.

Noah leaned forward on the back of Alan's and Bailey's seat. "Neither one of has been kissed or kissed someone."

Bailey turned and smiled. "I'll kiss you both." she said, smooching her lips.

"No thank you." Luke said with an eye roll. "Friends shouldn't let friends kiss and tell."

"You know," Noah said regarding Luke's words of wisdom, "All of your one liners are way off base."

"I know dipshit. I do it on purpose." Luke snickered and picked up his books. "Time to get off."

Noah began to laugh. The phrase had just come off as humorous. He knew Luke didn't mean it the way he took it, but he couldn't help himself. God, he hadn't had so much fun in his life.

"Knock it off Noah. I didn't say it like that, dork." He urged Noah out of the seat and stood up. The four of them walked into the school together. Noah and Luke went to their locker and Bailey and Alan went to their respective ones.

Noah went ahead to his class while Luke was searching the locker for his favorite pen. With Noah's stuff in his locker, it was near impossible to find a thing.

"Hiya princess." Johnny said, leaning on the locker next to Luke. "I really need help in geometry. I'm begging you to help me. Please?"

Luke turned to look at the jock. He was tall and muscular and blond. He WAS attractive, but he had the personality of a worm, not to mention his relentless suggestions regarding Luke dressing up as a girl was offensive. He said defensively, "Why should I? You make fun of me in front of your 'group' of friends and you're obnoxious."

"Because princess, I can." Johnny smiled, staring at Luke, assessing him. "If you come to school tomorrow dressed in a pink dress, white tights and heels with a little makeup on, I'll never tease you again. Oh, don't forget that gorgeous ring you always have got on. That completes the ensemble."

"Are you nuts?" Luke asked angrily. "Why would you think I'd have any interest in doing that? I'm not a chick, Johnny."

"But you are gay, right? I mean look at you." Johnny looked Luke up and down. "Aren't you?"

"Hey Luke!" Noah called from down the hall, holding up a pen. He stopped when saw Johnny bothering his brother. He quickly pulled out the bluish-purple ring that Lilly had given to him this morning, per his request last night, and put it on. If Luke was going to get harassed for wearing a ring, he was too. He wasn't afraid. He walked quickly to Luke and said, "I accidentally grabbed your favorite pen by mistake. Here you go." He smiled, holding the pen out. Luke and Johnny saw the ring on Noah's finger.

Luke's mouth dropped open and Johnny scowled. "What a pair of fairies. Noah, man, I don't even know what to say to you." he said, adding, "Think about that offer, princess."

They watched Johnny walk away then turned to each other.

"What was that about? Think about what?" Noah asked, at the same time Luke asked, "You're wearing that ring! Why?"

They laughed. "You first." Noah said.

"The ring?" Luke pointed.

"It's kinda cool. I didn't want you to be the only one receiving all the attention. Do you mind?" Noah asked. He actually didn't want Luke to get teased and this way, Luke might not get the full effect of Johnny's meanness- he could take some of it off Luke's shoulders. He wanted to, for his brother.

"That's so cool Noah, but don't feel as though you have to. I can handle the 'Johnnys' of the school. He doesn't bother me."

"I wanted to." Noah asserted, fingering the large ring. "So, what did the dickwad want anyway?"

"Help with his geometry and to ask me to dress up like a girl tomorrow." Luke shook his head.

"Okaaaayyy." Noah bit his lip to keep a smile from showing.

"I'm gonna."

"What?" Noah asked in a crazy voice.

Luke elaborated, "Yea, a dress, nylons, heels... the whole nine yards." He grinned and pretended to plump up the ends of his hair. "You said I was prettier than mommy when I wore her dress."

"You wear that stuff tomorrow, and I'll pretend you're not my brother."

"I'm just kidding Noah." Luke covered his mouth and giggled.

"Thank goodness!" Noah pretended to wipe his forehead. "Why does he tease you about dressing like a girl anyway. Did you used to?"

"NO!" Luke pushed Noah. "It's the ring. Not many people know why I wear it."

"You don't have to anymore."

"I want to. It reminds me of you and of when we got married. Married." Luke chuckled. "We were goofy kids."

"Yes we were." Noah sighed. "Better get to class before we're late. Hey." Noah pulled his brother back before he could get too far. "You never said, are you going to help that jock-itch piece of crap?"

"Uhhh, I don't know. Depends. If he's nicer to me, then maybe. I love school and tutoring. In fact, I want to be a teacher someday. It would be good practice for me to deal with an unruly kid, you know, for future reference."

"I wish you luck and nerves of steel. If you want, I can be your body guard."

Luke grinned and tapped his leg; teasingly saying in a pirate way, "No thanks matey. I have my sword in my pants. I don't need--"

Noah began to laugh hard. Again, he twisted what Luke said into something sexual.

"You are so immature Noah." Luke said, then giggled the word, "Sword."

"You boys better get to class. The first bell went off and the second is about to ring." Mr. Phelps, the principal, said.

"Yes sir." Noah said and immediately dismissed himself to hurry to class.

"I'm going." Luke said lackadaisically and sauntered off.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 12

~~~~~~

Luke wrote the geometry problems from the board behind Mr. G's desk into his notebook. He saw Johnny go to the front of the class to talk to the teacher and thought nothing of it until Mr. G called him to the front of the class.

Luke walked to the teacher's desk and smiled at Mr. G, ignoring the offensive jock- Johnny.

"I'd like you to teach John how to do the problems on the board. He has them copied in his notebook already. You can go across the hall into the Spanish room, there's no class during this hour."

"But--"

"You heard him Luke. Come on." Johnny said snobbishly and gave Luke a sneaky looking smile because he got his way; he manipulated the situation so Luke HAD to help him.

"Oh alright." Luke said, looking burdened by the request, and went back to his desk to retrieve his notebook and pen. They both entered the Spanish room. Johnny closed the door, then they sat at desks next to each other. Luke started right in. "This first problem--" he began, pointing at the problem on Johnny's page with the tip of his pen.

Johnny looked at Luke and pressed the issue, "You never answered the question I asked you, princess."

"What question was that again?" Luke said in low quiet voice, focused on the paper. He didn't want to make eye contact with the jock. He might get punched in the nose.

"Are you _gay_?" Johnny chuckled- he was enjoying pushing Luke, trying to get him to talk.

"It's none of your _business_." Luke argued.

"So you are, otherwise you would have said no." Johnny stated eyeing Luke, who had drawn his eyebrows together and was blinking a little faster than before. Johnny guessed again, "You are so gay. Totally and 100% G-A-Y."

"I am not, now shut up and lets get this geometry done." Luke grumbled, slightly angry. He kept his eyes on the notebook paper. He knew not to look at the jock for fear that it would look like a confrontation and start a fist fight.

"No, admit it first, princess." Johnny said in a demanding, yet calm voice. He leaned toward Luke and added persuasively, or so he thought, "Come onnnnn.... you know you want to get it out in the open. It's tearing your insides apart."

"No." Luke kept his eyes lowered and simply said. "Why should I? I mean, IF I was, I sure wouldn't tell you. You'd tell the whole school and I'd be labeled. You and the football team would make my life a living hell." He finally looked sideways at Johnny, seeing that his face was serious and he wasn't sneering like he usually did.

"I wouldn't do that, princess." Johnny asserted. "I just want to know. I'm curious."

"Being gay doesn't mean I want to be a girl or wear girls clothing." Luke explained. "It doesn't go hand in hand. I'm not a transvestite."

"But you wear woman's jewelry." Johnny stated, nodding at Luke's ring. "Why, if you don't want to be a girl?"

Luke looked at his ring and touched it. He decided to confide in Johnny, to set things straight, even if this was a personal matter. "You met Noah, well, he's my brother. We had worn these rings when we were five and promised to be brothers forever. He was kidnapped that same year; right out of our front yard. When the ring fit me without falling off, I put it back on and wore it in remembrance of him and have been ever since. Now he's back and I want to keep wearing it, I guess it reminds me that nothing is forever or maybe if you wish hard enough, dreams really do come true."

"Hm."

"What's 'hm' mean?" Luke asked, turning his head to look at Johnny.

"He looks nothing like you, of course, you're a princess and he's not."

"Stop calling me that. Focus on this problem." Luke slapped Johnny's notebook. "Work or I'm leaving."

"Relax. I can do this shit at home with my older brother, Jimmy. We can slack off in here. I don't feel like listening to Mr. G go on and on about geometry. It's so boring."

"I find it stimulating."

"Really? Stimulating? What a funny choice of words." Johnny snickered.

Luke narrowed an eye at him and said warningly, "You're really trying my patience."

"You're trying mine. Just say it, admit you're gay. I promise I won't tell anyone and I'll begin working. I swear, princess." Johnny criss-crossed his heart and leaned toward Luke. "Just whisper a yes or no in my ear."

Luke frowned. He'd never thought about it consciously before. He liked watching the 'gay' channel at home when he could be alone, he liked thinking about boys, jacking off thinking about boys and he admired the clothing they wore and how they looked, more than girls. He guessed he was, at least, he'd been pretty sure all along. Bringing out into the open and being forced to think about it, made it so obvious to him. It was an enlightening moment to him, to finally put a name to his feelings.

"I don't know.... I have no reason to trust you." Luke met Johnny's bluish-green eyes. He'd never noticed them before- probably because he'd never been face to face, within a few inches of Johnny before. He gasped, then held his breath.

"I know you don't have a reason, but I'm telling you that you can." Johnny's breath hit Luke's face.

Luke felt like he was caught under a spell. "Yes." he whispered, hearing the word leave his lips, then immediately regretted saying anything.

"I thought so. You're not out." Johnny said nearing Luke's face.

Luke jerked his head back. "What are you doing?"

Johnny laughed lightly. "Oh princess... I'll show you." he said in a deep, low voice and cupped the back of Luke's head and brought it forward. Luke's eyes widened when Johnny kissed him on the lips, just a simple kiss, then he let go, gazed into Luke's eyes, and was about to kiss him again but Luke freaked out.

"What was that?" Luke asked loudly, resisting Johnny's advances, and stood up.

"A kiss." Johnny answered as if Luke were stupid.

"Y—You You're gay? You? I—I'm in shock!"

Johnny got up. "You can't tell anyone. Not a soul. Got it? Or my fist will be meeting your nose."

"O-Ok, but why did you kiss ME?" Luke asked, wondering. Was this real? Was he sleeping and having a kooky dream? He became frightened, watching Johnny walking to him, then Johnny pressed him to the wall.

"I've liked you for a while. I guess that's why I tease you- it also throws suspicion off myself. I like to get a rise out of you. I'd like to get a **rise** out of you now." he said provocatively while looking down at the front of Luke's jeans. "You ever.... uh..." He looked up into Luke's eyes. "been touched by a guy?"

"No." Luke confessed so softly that Johnny had to strain to hear him. He said, "Me either, obviously."

"What do you mean by obviously?" Luke tilted his head.

"Don't you listen, princess? I'm not out. I can't come out. I'm a fucking tough football player. Could you imagine the guys if they found out? I'd be ostracized and looked at funny. I'd be accused of being a pervert because I take showers with them. It's better this way."

Luke was at a loss for words at the moment. He saw Johnny's face come near again. Fearing this was one big joke, he stated anxiously, "Wait." and put his hand on Johnny's chest. "Are you serious about all of this? I still feel like you're--" Johnny's lips on his mouth shut him up. He felt his arms reflexively come up and wrap around Johnny's neck.

"Open." Johnny said against Luke's mouth. "I want to taste you."

Luke nodded, looking into those bluish-green eyes again. He parted his lips and felt Johnny's warm wet tongue test his lips. Luke liked the feeling and pulled Johnny's head closer, their mouths opened; their tongues wrestling playfully. They moaned at the same time with the feeling of excitement and total lust. Johnny's hands snuck around Luke's waist, holding him close as he fell against him, deepening the hungry kiss.

After a few heartbeats, Johnny stepped back, breathless, eyeing Luke with a stunned look on his face. "Goddamn." he uttered under his breath.

Luke swallowed, waiting for the football player to say something about what just happened. When he hadn't, Luke said, "Sorry I did that."

"No, don't be. It felt... I don't know...." Johnny breathed.

Luke looked down, fearing he'd made Johnny mad. Why did he rub his erection against this big football players cock? He'd gone to far- he knew it, but at the time he was just going with it. Just feeling, not thinking. "Um, I better go." Luke said, turning to the door.

"No wait." Johnny stopped him, spun him around. "Remember our deal. Don't tell and I won't either. Promise?"

"I promise." Luke said with his eyes lowered. "I'm sorry."

"Shut up about that." Johnny stated, looking at the blond with a sexy smile. "It was intense, but I didn't mind, princess."

Luke rolled his eyes at the nickname he'd become accustomed to. "What about your girlfriend? Does she know?"

"No. Like I said, no one knows." Johnny laid his hand on Luke's shoulder and squeezed gently. "But, I'm really attracted to you and if anyone accused me of being gay and hanging out with you, I'd really have to start taunting you so it would look like I hated you. I could deny ever having kissed you and make it sound believable."

"I got it." Luke answered, understanding completely where Johnny was coming from.

"I believe you." He patted Luke's shoulder and dropped his hand. "So, wanna come over after school? I do need help with this geometry shit and I don't really want to ask my brother. You can wear my mom's mink coat and clip on earrings." Johnny laughed, playfully punching Luke in the stomach.

"You're weird." Luke laughed bending over to block Johnny's fist, but he was too late.

"Weird yes, but you like me, right?" Johnny asked, "You do, don't you?"

"Yea...I think I can tolerate you- a little more. Insecure much?" Luke teased. He stopped being funny and said, "I think our banter fueled the fire. You never really made me feel small, just pissed off at you."

"I could tell. You've got a strong personality."

"That's me." Luke grinned, showing his straight teeth. "I really should go. The bell is going to ring."

"Can you come over tonight?"

"Oh, um... I'm not sure. Noah just came home and we're still getting to know him."

"I get it. That's ok. Some other time then."

"Sure." Luke said and opened the door. "Bye Johnny."

"Bye princess." Johnny snickered, watching Luke walk out the door.

At lunch, Noah noticed something different about Luke. Something was making him bouncy, excited and laugh at anything. "Are you on drugs?" Noah asked him.

Luke laughed loudly. "NO!" he continued to laugh.

"It was a serious question. You're acting all weird. What's going on?"

"Nothing, I swear!" Luke grinned at Noah.

"Something is up." Noah muttered and popped a grape into his mouth.

"There they are. The princess and his brother." Johnny walked to the table with his group. "Do you have to share your princess dress with Noah now or is he going to get his own?" Johnny looked at Luke, hearing his posse laughing.

"Get the hell out of here, asswipe." Luke said giving Johnny a sharp look.

Noah had enough. He stood up and pushed Johnny's chest. "Leave us alone. You're not funny, you're just a fucking jock that thinks--"

"Noah!" Luke stood up. "Leave him alone. He's not worth getting detention. Just ignore him."

Johnny's friends crowded around Noah, ready for a fight. Johnny called them off, "Leave them," he said, "they're just a bunch of losers." He dropped his eyes. He couldn't look at Luke, but if he didn't harass them like he did every day, his friends would be suspicious. "Let's leave."

Luke watched the group go, then told Noah to sit and calm down.

"I don't like those guys. They're a bunch of punks. I can't believe I actually considered going out for the team!" Noah said, watching the jocks walk away as Luke pulled on his arm, saying, "Sit bro."

Noah made a face of frustration and took his seat.

"That Johnny should be taught a lesson." Alan said, looking at Luke to hear his opinion.

"I can handle it. The thing is, is not to let those guys get to you." Luke explained.

"I'm glad you can handle it well." Noah said. "I feel like ripping that jock in two. If he bugs you again, I don't know what I'll do."

"Don't. I don't' need you to fight my battles for me." Luke touched Noah's arm. "I'm cool, everything is cool."

Bailey joined in, "You should teach that jerk a lesson Noah. Pop him right in the face."

"NO! No violence. God!" Luke stood up and walked off, leaving his friends and brother at the table in shock.

"Well that went swimmingly." Bailey giggled. "I wonder why he's wound up so tightly.

"I don't know." Noah looked at the doorway that Luke had passed through. "He was fine, then when Johnny and his gang came over, his mood changed. I think those jock-jerks bother him more than he lets on."

Alan shook his head, "No, Luke doesn't get bothered by them, not really. We've talked about it and he knows they're just trying to goad him and he is determined not to let them. He's tough."

Noah felt proud of Luke when Alan said that. "He was upset when there was a mention of a fight. He stormed off right after it was suggested that I hit Johnny."

"That's my fault." Bailey said with regret lacing her words. "I shouldn't have said that, even in a joking manner. I'm sorry."

"I'm sure he doesn't blame you Bailey." Alan gazed at her adoringly.

"I don't think he does either." Noah looked at her, her head was down and he could tell she was feeling really remorseful.

"Should I try to find him or how does this work?" Noah asked Alan. "Does he need someone to talk to or will he just come to his senses and come back?"

"Hey..."

Luke looked behind his shoulder to see Johnny standing on the top step. Luke stood up and faced him, seeing him look left and right and behind himself.

"Come with me." Johnny said and ran down the steps, went right and ran to the corner of the school building, then he went around the corner. Luke followed, jogging slower, wondering if Johnny was ticked off at him because of Noah. Would he get hit? He walked around the corner, was grabbed and pinned against the brick wall. Luke felt Johnny's powerful body against his own.

"You got a big mouth."

"Look, I'm sorry. Noah was just being protective and mmmmph-" Luke stopped talking when Johnny covered his mouth with the palm of his hand.

"Still a big mouth. We have a few minutes, I was wondering if you wanted to... ya know." Johnny's bluish-green eyes sparkled. "Well, cat got your tongue?"

Luke felt like falling to the ground because of the look in the jocks eyes. Luckily, Johnny's other hand was on his shoulder holding him in place.

"Now that I've tasted you, I want more of that taste. You got me hooked, princess." Johnny smiled with a sexiness only Luke had seen.

"My name is Luke. You can call me-"

"Nope. I like calling you princess." Johnny said, cupping Luke's cheeks, then running his fingers through his blond hair. He wet his lips and leaned in to kiss Luke.

"Oh shit." Luke moaned before Johnny kissed him; anticipating the feeling of euphoria.

"Everything ok?" Johnny seemed to be concerned; a rare thing that Luke had never seen.

"Yes. Oh yes. Kiss me." Luke's lips remained parted. Johnny pressed his mouth against Luke's, almost violently, and drove his tongue into Luke's mouth. Soft moans and grunts filled the isolated bubble they were in. Luke gasped when Johnny reached down and touched the outside of his jeans.

"Is that ok? I just want to feel it. I haven't ever-- except with you in the Spanish room, but that was against my own cock." Johnny waited anxiously for Luke's answer.

"On the outside only." Luke nodded- his impulses and urges had taken over. "How about me? Can I?" He motioned with his finger to the front of Johnny's bulging jeans.

"You better. How does this feel?" Johnny asked, rubbing Luke with the palm of his hand. "Is that ok? I don't really know what I'm doing so tell me if... oh, I don't know, if it hurts or something."

"More." Luke whispered, a moan tagged on. His hand was over Johnny's crotch feeling how hard he was and knowing he'd made him this hard. He liked the feel of it under his hand. Johnny shifted his weight and moved in, pressing his erection into Luke's hand.

Luke began massaging and rubbing, squeezing and lightly running his fingertips up and down. He heard a, 'Oh that's good.' from Johnny. Luke closed his eyes and rested the back of his head against the school. The feeling of being this aroused and stimulated touched every nerve ending in his body. He knew he was going to cum soon if Johnny didn't stop. This was his first time having a boy touch him and it felt erotic and wonderful. "Stop Johnny."

"No."

"Yes, please, I'm gonna blow and I can't walk around with cum in my underwear."

Johnny chuckled. "I want to cum."

"No you don't. You don't want your friends to know, remember?" Luke stopped rubbing him. "They'd wonder about that wet spot."

"Shit, you're right. Thanks, but damn I was so close. It felt so good. What about you? Did you like it?"

"Are you kidding me?" Luke asked with a short laugh. "The hottest football player on the team almost got me off and you have to ask?" He looked at Johnny's mouth, licking his own.

Johnny stood up straight and took a jock stance. "You really think I'm hot, huh princess?"

"Yes I do." Luke put his hands on Johnny's shoulders and kissed him.

"LUKE! LUKE?" Noah called from the stairs at the front of the school.

"Fuck!" Johnny said in a loud whisper. "Gotta go pretty boy. Later." he pecked Luke on the lips once more and walked around the corner. He walked past Noah, but was pulled back and spun around, meeting Noah's face.

"Did you see Luke?" Noah asked, anger growing in the pit of his stomach. If it weren't for Johnny, Luke wouldn't be upset and he wouldn't have run off.

"The princess? Nope." Johnny shook his arm loose from Noah's grip.

"Stop calling him that or you'll be the one wearing a dress when I'm done with you." Noah threatened. His eyes narrowed in a menacing way, his lips curled up into a sneer and his face red from his short temper with this jock.

"Fine." Johnny snapped and walked into the school.

When Noah turned around, Luke was there, walking up to him. Luke looked from Noah to where he'd seen Johnny go and asked, "What did you say to him?"

"Don't worry, he won't be bothering you anymore, I promise. Brothers stick together, right?" Noah grinned, holding out his fist. Luke unenthusiastically bumped it with his. He needed to see Johnny and to find out what just happened. How was he supposed to keep Johnny and Noah apart? How was he supposed to keep Johnny a secret from Noah and his own family. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Much harder.

Much, much harder.

It was funny that Luke had told Noah to stay away from Johnny, because at the time he hated the jock. Now Luke and Johnny were friends, ok, more than friends, and Noah hated Johnny.

"Are you alright?" Noah put a caring hand on Luke's arm. "We're worried about you. He wasn't bothering you, was he?" Noah's voice had deepened.

"No, not at all. I'm fine, I just needed to get out of the cafeteria and get some fresh air." He filled his lungs and blew it out. "See? All better. Let's head in, ok?"

Noah frowned at Luke, contemplating something. "You're hair is messed up. Let me fix it." He raised his hands and ran his fingers through it. It was so silky he couldn't stop playing in Luke's hair.

The way Noah was gently fixing his hair put Luke into a relaxed state. He closed his eyes and 'hmmmed' softly, like a moan. He enjoyed the fingers in his hair until they both heard the first bell go off.

"Damn, sorry." Noah said, looking at Luke's hair. "I didn't fix it, I think I made it worse."

Luke chuckled and combed his hair down with his own fingers. "Better?"

"Eh, so-so." Noah said, taking Luke's arm as they walked up the stairs, into school and down the hallway to their locker.

While Noah was fiddling with the combination, Luke looked around and saw Johnny with two football players. He watched, stared at him, hoping against hope that Johnny would acknowledge him somehow. Luke grinned a 100 watt smile when Johnny glanced at him and raised the corner of his mouth in a small smile, then he winked. Luke swore his heart exploded in his chest. Whatever Noah said to Johnny outside, hadn't phased the jock- He sighed happily and turned around to see Noah still trying to get the locker open. "Here, let me." Luke teasingly bumped Noah out of the way with his hip. He spun the lock a few times and lifted the handle. "See? It just takes technique and magic fingers. Knowing the combination helps too, Noah."

"I know it." Noah asserted, "23-13-47"

"No!" Luke laughed. He took his favorite pen out of the locker and grabbed Noah's hand. He wrote the correct combination on Noah's palm and smirked with a playful look in his eyes.

"Thanks." Noah reddened. Why couldn't he remember the combination? Did he like relying on his brother? Was he craving attention? He wasn't sure, but he knew he couldn't treat Luke like that. He'd have to start concentrating.

"No prob bro." Luke said, getting his books and slamming the locker closed.

"Hey!"

"Ooops. Better get that locker open before the bell rings." Luke laughed and ran off, leaving Noah cursing out his brother as he turned to the locker.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 13

Saturday....

Noah was in the guest bedroom, sitting on the bed holding his phone. Luke had gone somewhere to help someone with homework. It sounded fishy because Luke kept mum about where he was going. Holden stood in the doorway to Noah's room and saw that he appeared bored.

"Hi Noah, mind if I come in?" Holden asked with a fatherly smile.

"Come in, please." Noah said, looking at Holden and thinking Luke was so lucky to grow up in this family. Holden was near perfect as a father.

"How is school going?"

"Great! I love school and Luke's friends are awesome."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Is anything bothering you? Do you need anything?"

"Well, Lee's car is still parked outside. He needs it back." Noah bit his fingernail. "I was hoping he could come for a visit and drive it back?"

"I see." Holden nodded. "Yes, I think that's a great idea. Call and see if he can come today."

"T—Today? How can he possibly..."

"Luke's grandmother Lucinda, whom you'll meet eventually, has a plane. All we have to do is call up the pilot and let him know so he can get the flight plans ready and off we go. We can pick up Lee and come back here. If he's not allowed to drive the car home, we can hire a truck to get it to Ohio." Holden stated as a matter of fact. "No problem."

"Wow, a plane. He's gonna crap his pants! I'll call right away." Noah grinned ear to ear.

While Noah was flying in a plane to Ohio with Holden, Luke was at Johnny's house, helping him with his geometry at the kitchen table. He didn't want Noah to know where he was. Noah would surely question his motives and possibly threaten to beat up Johnny again if he touched Luke or made a cutting remark. Luke wasn't ready to come out. He didn't think this was the right time.

"Bye Johnny, and Luke it was nice meeting you." Johnny's mom said. She was going out with her husband, leaving them to do homework in peace. His siblings were out doing their own thing with friends.

"Bye mom and dad." Johnny smiled. "Have fun." he turned back to Luke after his parents left. "Well princess... we have the house to ourselves. Wanna get more acquainted?"

"We should finish your homework." Luke got right back to work.

"Come on." Johnny whine/complained. "Let's go to my room. We can work in there and get 'familiar'. He touched Luke's arm and rubbed it.

"I don't know. I think we're moving too fast. Like, we just met yesterday and we're already touching each other?" Luke discouraged him, making sense, but Johnny was a sixteen year old boy with raging hormones, Luke was too, but he was more sensible about things, clearheaded and logical- that is when Johnny wasn't kissing him. Waves of pleasure had swept over him yesterday when their lips were pressed together and their tongues explored one another's mouth- all rational thoughts abandoned his mind when he became dizzy with passion.

"Really?" he asked, his face showed disappointment.

"I think so." Luke didn't sound so sure now. Staring at the mouth he'd tasted, he felt himself letting go of the reasons why he shouldn't go upstairs with Johnny.

Johnny knew it was just a matter of time before Luke gave in, but he didn't want to force the blond to do anything he didn't want to and cause Luke to regret coming over. "Ok, sorry I asked." he said, shrugging it off. He picked up his pencil, rested his forehead in his hand, looked down at the problems in his notebook and sighed at the hard problems on his paper.

"It's just..." Luke tried to explain, but his mind was a blank slate at this point. All he could think of, was kissing Johnny on his bed. "I can't."

"I get it." Johnny said in an even tone.

Luke bit his lip. "Ok I'll go, but we're studying in your room. "That's all."

A nice luxury car took Noah to Lee's house. Holden stayed back to talk to the pilot of the plane. Noah was nervous and excited to see Lee. He'd called before flying out and Lee was all for going to see where Noah lived and to meet the family Noah had dreamed and talked about. He hoped things were much better than they had been here with Earl and Connie. When Noah rang the doorbell, he took a step back- waiting for the door to open. Lee was suddenly there with a huge welcoming grin on his face.

"Dude! It's so good to see you!" He hugged Noah, still smiling. "How have you been? Did you really fly here by private plane?" he threw questions at Noah, who hadn't had a chance to answer yet.

"Lets go. I can tell you in the car on the way to the airport." Noah remarked, leading Lee to the car.

"Shit! This is awesome!" Lee exclaimed, seeing the inside of the car.

"Yea, it is. I'm still waiting to wake up from this dream!" Noah laughed. "I've been great, and to answer your question— like I said on the phone, everyone is terrific and accepting. School is great and... Hey! I'm a sophomore!"

"Wow! That's cool." Lee bounced happily in the seat of the car. "I am so effin' happy for you. I mean, to go from a trailer to a large house with a loving family, you got it made dude."

"I know. I'm really lucky I found them. They can't adopt me so they're letting me stay as a foster kid. Lilly told me, she's Luke's mom, anyway, she said my biological dad killed my mom and unborn child."

"Sounds like a real asshole to me." Lee frowned, drawing his brows together. "Man, you were born into some real winners Miles, er, Noah. I gotta get used to that."

"Me too. Whenever they call me Noah, I think, who are they talking to?"

"So dude, what's up with the ring? It makes you look gay." Lee whispered, eyeing the large bluish-purple stone on Noah's finger. "Not to mention, it's gaudy."

"It's Lilly's. Luke wears one to remember me by. He was getting harassed by this football player named Johnny for wearing it, so I thought I'd wear one too." Noah looked at the ring and turned it around his finger several times. Lee watched, thinking Noah was crazy.

"I guess that's brave, but you don't want to start a new school and begin on the wrong foot. You still have two years to go before you graduate. Ask yourself if you really want to get teased for the rest of high school."

"It doesn't bother me. Johnny isn't a threat. I want to support my brother. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with wearing a ring."

"It's so gay Noah. It's a woman's ring." Lee chuckled.

"Lee, I asked you not to say shit like that. It's offensive."

"What, the 'gay' stuff? Fine. It's not gay, in fact, I want one too! A big pink one." he laughed, teasing Noah.

"Yea, I'll be sure to pick one up for you before you go home tomorrow." Noah smirked, trying not to laugh.

Once Noah introduced Lee to Holden and took their seats in the plane, Lee felt free to express his awe. "Damn dude!" he sat on the edge of the luxurious seat, looking around. This ain't no plane! It's like heaven!" Indeed, the inside of the plane had every amenity to make fliers comfortable and not feel like they were confined in a plane. "This is the shit Miles—Noah!"

"It's totally cool." Noah agreed. He had the same reaction when he got on the plane in Oakdale. They took off, planning to touch down in an hour or less.

Luke stood at the side of Johnny's bed, staring at it, wondering what was going to happen. Whatever was going to happen, he knew he wouldn't be pressured. Johnny had been nice yesterday and asked permission to touch him instead of going ahead and groping him.

"Go on princess." Johnny said, closing his bedroom door and locking it- just in case.

Luke sighed and tried to quell his anxiousness at being alone with a boy in a bedroom. Everything was going at breakneck speed. He heard Johnny chuckle behind him, then the force of a push. He fell to the bed face forward and quickly rolled over, seeing Johnny's amused face. "Asshole." Luke said, but in an endearing way.

"Oooh!" Johnny rose an eyebrow. "Name calling, I'm so frightened."

"Shut up." Luke said, raising himself up on his elbows. "Gonna sit?" he asked Johnny, still feeling a little apprehensive. What was going to happen here?

Johnny sat on the bed, then changed his mind and laid next to Luke to stare at his face. "So?"

"So?" Luke asked back.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Johnny asked, wanting to reach up and touch Luke's cheek, but he didn't. Wasn't that kind of gesture girly? He brushed Luke's hair off his forehead instead and held it back. Laughing, he said, "You should put your hair back into a ponytail.

"Knock it off." Luke slapped Johnny's hand off his head. His hair fell back into place.

"Sorry princess."

"I know you were kidding, prince." Luke smirked, seeing Johnny's face light up and a smile appear.

"Prince huh?"

"Do you mind if I call you that? You know, princess and prince?

"I think it's cute. Just don't say it in public." Johnny stared into Luke's eyes, hypnotized by the look he was receiving. The spell was broken when Johnny's cell phone rang. He reached into his front pocket and took out the intrusive device. He glanced at the number and swore, "Damn!" He looked at Luke and said, "Be quiet while I take this." Luke nodded.

"Hey Brooks, what's up?" Johnny said into the phone and listened to his friend speak. He turned his back to Luke and walked to the window, looking out. "Um, I kinda have to watch my little sister today." he lied.

Luke noticed that Johnny's voice had changed. He spoke more deeply and carefully, as if he was contemplating every word before he spoke. He continued to listen, knowing that 'Brooks' was a fellow football player.

"Tonight? Yea, sure." Johnny said in a non-enthusiastic tone. "What time and where?" he asked Brooks.

Johnny didn't want to turn around to look at Luke, he hoped his conversation wasn't obvious as to what he was talking about- a party in which he and his girlfriend been invited to. "We'll be there, dude."

Luke wondered where Johnny was going tonight. Then he figured the football team was getting together at someone's house to party or whatever football players did.

Johnny laughed deeply, more deeply than he'd laughed with Luke. In fact, Johnny had giggled when he was with Luke, but **only** around Luke.

"Fuck you too. Later dude." Johnny hung up and sighed. He turned and eyed Luke who looked very curious. "What?" he asked Luke, walking to the bed and taking a seat on the edge. He appeared uncomfortable and nervous.

"So, that was Brooks huh?" Luke asked, watching Johnny's eyes for signs that he would lie to him.

"Yea." Johnny nodded without meeting Luke's eyes, a sure sign he was going to lie about something.

"It sounds like there's a party tonight."

"I'm not inviting you if that's what you think." Johnny's voice was harsh, but he didn't want it to be. He felt pressure coming at him from all sides. "Sorry." he apologized, finally looking up to see the hurt on Luke's face. He laid next to Luke again and stared at the ceiling. "What do you want to know?"

Luke paused, afraid to ask, but knowing the answer. "You're going to take your girlfriend." he stated, not as a question.

"Of course." Johnny covered his face and ran his hands down it. Now his voice had taken the softened tone that Luke had heard yesterday when they were alone at school and here at the house before the phone call.

"Do-- Do you.... hmmm..." Luke sighed, his throat felt like his heart jumped into it. He swallowed that sad lump and continued. "Do you and she... do **it** and kiss and stuff?"

Johnny turned his head to face Luke and didn't say a word, but the look on Johnny's face told Luke everything. Luke sucked in his bottom lip, nodded and turned away. What was he doing here? He felt he was being betrayed and he and Johnny didn't even have a relationship! _Neither one of us is out. What do I expect?-- for him to come out for __me? I don't want to come out either. I guess he has to do what he __has to, to fool the team, but.... kissing and that other shit with his girlfriend? How can he do that? It's none of my business. I've only 'known' him for a day and most of that time was spent kissing. I don't know anything about him or who he is._ Luke murmured, "I should go." he sat up. Johnny did too.

"No, stay."

Luke shook his head, knowing he was pouting and acting possessive and unreasonable.

Johnny placed his hand on Luke's thigh. "Please? Forget about that call- I already did. Let me kiss you and prove I'm not into chicks, that I'm acting and playing a role to fool everyone- except you. I'm being real with you."

Luke's head fell to the right, leaning on Johnny's shoulder. "It's just that, I never had an urge to kiss a girl, much less have sex with one-- I don't know how you can."

"I don't have sex with her, but I let her blow me. I kiss her and touch her, but I don't want my first sexual experience to be with a girl. Let me reword that. I don't EVER want to have sex with a girl. No way." He shook his head.

Luke was relieved, a little bit, and relaxed. He was very aware of Johnny's hand on his thigh and those long fingers slowly moving back and forth. The feeling shot pulses of excitement to Luke's groin.

Johnny's body turned into Luke's, slowly pushing him onto his back on the bed. Their legs were tangled and pelvis's pressed to each others. Realizing he was rapidly panting, Luke lifted his head, his lips meeting Johnny's. Johnny used his lips to push Luke's head back down, then his tongue ran along the inner surface of Luke's lip.

"Ooauhh" Luke grunted when Johnny's hips moved back and forth, grinding his growing erection on Luke's already hard one.

"God that feels good, dontcha think, princess?" Johnny asked before increasing how hard he was pressing against Luke. He didn't wait for an answer, he began kissing Luke again, this time on his neck- gently gnawing on it. Luke held on to Johnny's body. He arched his neck and moaned. He was beginning to like the name princess and he really liked what was happening to his neck. All too soon, Johnny rolled off of Luke and rested on his side, facing him.

"You ok?" Johnny asked, looking at Luke's heavy eyelids. He smiled as his hand landed on Luke's chest, feeling how fast and deep he was breathing.

"Yes. I'm great."

"Me too." Johnny spoke, his eyes traveling down Luke's body. "Do you want to... try anything else?"

Luke cleared his throat. His face reddened. His body was screaming 'YES', but he felt his head shaking 'NO'.

"It's alright. I just wanted to know." Johnny sat up and looked over his shoulder at Luke.

Luke felt compelled to sit up as well. Was Johnny giving him an unspoken signal to leave? He hoped not. He hoped Johnny wasn't mad because he wasn't ready go further. He said softly, "Maybe I should go. Can I use your phone to call my mom?"

"Do you really want to go?" Johnny asked in disbelief and thrown for a loop.

Luke shrugged. "I don't want to go further. I don't really know you and I don't feel comfortable doing certain things."

"So, let me get this right. You're fine kissing me and touching my cock with my jeans on, but when I ask if you want to go ahead, you want to leave? Are you using me Luke?" Johnny said Luke's name angrily, there was no 'princess' or soft voice- it was the one he'd used on the phone with Brooks, his every day disguised 'straight' voice.

"No! I'm not like that. I'm scared, ok?" Luke looked convincingly frightened and Johnny believed him.

"I am too, but, it's really hard to stop, ya know?" Johnny rubbed the top of Luke's shoulder. "I know we barely know each other and I really don't know how a 'gay' relationship works when it's in the closet, but I'm willing to give it a shot, if you are."

Luke thought it was a worth a try. "I'm willing."

Johnny smiled happily. His arm wrapped around Luke's shoulders and he pulled him in for a kiss, which turned into a deep long kiss.

Holden went inside his home, leaving Noah and Lee on their own. When they walked inside, Lee dropped his jaw. Above them was a crystal chandelier and a marble floor under his feet and this was just the entryway. "Duuuude!" he said in awe to Noah.

"Sweet, isn't it?" Noah chuckled. "Come on, I'll introduce you to Lilly and Luke, if he's back."

"You don't call him Wuke?" Lee joked, following Noah to the kitchen. He looked around and again, took in his surroundings. Brown and grey stone tiles made up the floor of the kitchen. An island with a sink, expensive wooden cupboards, and top of the line stainless steel appliances. "Man!" he said loudly, getting the attention of Lilly.

"Well hello." Lilly smiled, wiping her wet hands on a towel. She walked to the boys and held out her hand. "You must be Lee. It's a pleasure to meet the boy who helped Noah. I'm very grateful to you."

"It was no big deal. Noah needed to get out of that place." Lee shook her hand tightly. "You are very pretty, like Noah said. When he dreamed you," He explained, "that's how he described you. Holden was handsome and Luke was cute." He grinned.

"Thank you." Lilly spoke happily. "I made lunch if you're up for it?"

"Actually," Noah said, "Can he put his things away?"

"Oh sure, go ahead." Lilly nodded, looking at Lee's suitcase. "He can have the guest bedroom next to yours."

Noah showed Lee the bedroom he'd occupy until tomorrow. "Man, this house is humongous. Look at this guest bedroom!" he rose his arms in the air and made a 360. "You're so lucky to live here and have such a great foster family! I'm jealous now."

Noah laughed and pushed Lee. "Don't be ridiculous. I lived in hell for so long." He almost began to cry. He waved his hand, saying, "I'm hungry. Let's go eat."

As Lilly served them hot sandwiches, cold fruit salad and lemonade, Noah asked, "Is Luke here?"

"No, he said he would call when he was done studying." Lilly set the glass pitcher of ice cold lemonade on the table between the boys.

"Who is he studying with?" Noah asked curiously. "Alan? Bailey?"

"No, someone else. He didn't say the person's name."

_Did he go to Johnny's house? That's the only person that I know of that needed Luke's help. No, he wouldn't go to his house! Not unless he was stupid and wanted to get beat up and called names. Must be someone else he's helping.... unless.... HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND HE'S NOT TELLING ANYONE ABOUT!_ Noah snickered.

"What?" Lee asked. "What's funny?"

"Oh, I think Luke is being secretive because he has a girlfriend and he doesn't want anyone to know, but I figured it out." Noah smiled sneakily. "Wait until tonight, he's gonna get the third degree from me."

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 14

~~~~~~

Luke called Lilly and asked her to pick him up from where she dropped him off earlier. He didn't use Johnny's name or say who he'd been 'helping' with homework. She arrived and drove him home, asking questions about this mysterious person Luke had been with this morning and part of the afternoon. Luke dodged the questions by asking his own. She finally gave up, thinking Luke had a girlfriend and he wasn't ready to introduce her to his family yet.

"Noah and Holden flew to Ohio to bring Lee for a visit. He's Noah's friend."

Luke replied. "Is he nice?"

"Very. You'll like him. The smile on Noah's face hasn't disappeared all day." Lilly said with that smile embedded on her brain. "Noah is so handsome. After all these years of dreaming about him, thinking about him and wishing I could see him, I couldn't have pictured him looking like he does or how intelligent his mind is."

"He's cool." Luke nodded.

"You are too you know." Lilly pulled into the driveway, glancing at Luke. "Your father and I are very proud of how you're growing up."

This kind of talk made Luke embarrassed. He knew she was referring to his therapy when he was younger and how far he'd come to date. He got out of the car and said, "I'm running over to Alan's quick."

"Alright, are you coming back for supper?" Lilly asked, watching Luke walk down the sidewalk backwards.

"Uh, yea, wait, no. No." Luke finally decided and turned in time to dodge a kid on a bike riding on the sidewalk. He went to Alan's and was invited in. He and Alan went to the bedroom for privacy while Alan's mom made another place setting at the table.

"Hypothetically speaking," Luke began talking slowly. "what would you do if you liked someone who your friends disliked. I mean really hated."

"What, like a girl?" Alan asked. "You're going all psychological on me."

"Sure, a girl. Like as in LIKE."

"Oh, wow." Alan scratched his head. "Well, if she's nice to me, who cares what anyone thinks, that is, if she's genuine and not being nice to play a prank or something."

"Yea, yea... right." Luke nodded, thinking about that.

"You know, if you have a crush on someone that you think Bailey or I wouldn't like, or even your brother, it's none of our business. We'll be there for you when she breaks your heart, the cold-hearted bitch!" Alan laughed.

Luke chuckled. "So wait, what if you liked this person and had some kind of relationship with her, but she couldn't tell anyone and you couldn't tell anyone either, what would you do?"

"I'd ask you Luke, are you dating a really young kid? This sounds weird to me. How old is she?" Alan asked, "OH! She's much older, isn't she? I get it! You're jail bait and neither one of you wants to get into trouble. Luke, you are the man! Dating an experienced woman. Damn your lucky!"

"Yea... lucky."

"I'd definitely keep it secret for as long as I could, but you just told me so I guess you can't keep a secret!" Alan laughed hard.

"Get serious now. I have another question." Luke said with a somber look on his face. "Let's say your seeing that gu... girl and you see someone else that catches your eye, but there's no way you'll get together."

"Why not?"

"Just because."

"No, I need to know why so I can help you."

"Certain circumstances won't let that happen."

"She's dating someone else?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I can't say."

"Is it Bailey!" Alan gasped, feeling paranoid that Luke would date his own crush. He said more calmly, thinking he had no chance if Luke liked her. "I know she likes you."

"No, it's not her. It's... someone... that you shouldn't fall for. Like, say it was your cousin or something."

"Oh." Alan looked puzzled. "Why would you like your cousin like that? All your cousins are under 10 dude."

"I told you it's hypothetical. Come on, what would you do?" Luke asked impatiently, biting his lip and sighing deeply several times. Why did Alan have to be annoying right now, when he was dead serious?

"I know it's hypothetical Luke, can I give you a hypothetical answer" He laughed, making Luke roll his eyes and want to hit him. "Ok, I can see you're getting mad. So, you like this 'relative' more than the older chick?"

"I think so, but I don't know. It's confusing."

"Stay with the older chick. If you're confused, it means you're not sure about the other girl. If you're happy where you're at now, don't mess with it."

"Even if I want to see where the other girl will take me?"

"Yes. Don't be stupid and dump the one you've got to take a chance on the other one. What if she doesn't like you? Then you're out of a girlfriend and out of sex."

"It's not like that."

"Yea right." Alan snickered.

Luke changed the topic of discussion with a spoken thought, "I have a lot to think about."

"Not really, stay with the one your with. Ever hear of that song? It's actually love the one your with, but I don't know if you're in love. Are you?"

"Love?" Luke laughed. "No, we're just playing around so far."

Alan widened his eyes and they looked huge with his glasses magnifying them. Luke almost laughed.

"You've played, as in played?" Alan rubbed his chest as if he had breasts.

"Um..." Luke didn't know how to answer. Johnny wasn't a girl and he definitely didn't have breasts. "I guess lower.... and kissing...." Luke answered nervously.

"Under the skirt?" Alan seemed excited, not only for Luke, but for himself. Now he could ask Luke how he should be with Bailey- go in for a kiss or ask her first. When to touch her, caress her or hold her hand.

"Look Alan, I can't talk about this. I told you, it's a secret. I could get into trouble. I just wanted your opinion."

"You're totally bursting my bubble Luke. I have so many questions."

"About Bailey?"

"Yes!"

"Treat her nice. She's our friend. If she seems receptive to holding your hand or a kiss on the cheek, go ahead. If you're not sure, ask her. You don't want to get slapped across the cheek."

"Boys!" Alan's mother called up the stairs. "Supper is ready."

It was just a few minutes past nine when Luke finally got home. He knew Noah and Lee would be talking a mile a minute and decided to leave them alone. He could meet Lee tomorrow, besides, he was planning on laying on his bed with his eyes closed to replay Johnny's lips on his lips and on his neck and how Johnny smelled and how the skin on his shoulder had tasted. He quickly poked his head into the living room and said a quick goodnight to his mom and dad before heading up the stairs. He could hear laughter and talking. He smiled, hearing Noah's deep, heart-lifting laugh and turned into his bedroom. He removed his clothing and put on a pair of cotton shorts to sleep in, then he sat on his bed and turned on the flat screen tv hanging on his wall. He muted it, so he could hear Noah. He didn't know what was happening to him, why he wanted to hear his brother, he didn't know why he asked Alan all those hypothetical questions either. He scratched his chest, feeling soft, fuzzy, light colored hair beginning to grow there and wondered if Noah was going to get chest hair too. Then he wondered if Johnny would too. If he did, it would be very light, like his blond hair. He thought about the tall muscular athlete. Johnny's build was similar to Noah's. He'd gotten an eyeful of Noah's naked body in the shower and knew exactly what he looked like. He hadn't been comfortable enough to see Johnny's nude body yet. He wondered why that was and couldn't come up with an answer to that question either. He was failing miserably; the plan to think about Johnny was hindered by thoughts about his brother.

Luke sat up when it got quiet in the other room. Almost with jealousy, he rose off the bed and silently walked past the bathroom and stood next to the wall of Noah's open bedroom door. He kept his mouth closed and tried to breath quietly so neither Lee or Noah would suspect he was there eavesdropping on them. His ears became sensitive to every sound coming from the room. He heard bedsprings and light breathing, then Noah spoke a little louder than a whisper.

"I want to tell you something, something about me and I'm so afraid it will affect our friendship."

"What? Is it about Connie or Earl? Did she.... did she go farther than just touching you?"

Luke heard the fear for Noah and disgust for Connie and what she might have done in Lee's voice. Luke opened his mouth, but covered it before he gasped. He couldn't let Noah he was listening in.

"No, I was honest with you when I told you everything she did. It's something else."

Luke heard a pregnant, uncomfortable pause from Noah, then a melancholy exhale.

"Just say it. You're my best friend. You've told me about Connie and Earl, how can you think anything you tell me now could be worse than that? Huh?"

Lee sounded sincere and Luke was incredibly curious.

"No kidding." Noah said sarcastically; he didn't sound mad, just the opposite, sad.

"Come on dude. Let it out. You'll feel better getting it off your chest."

Luke clenched his teeth, nervous for his brother. He expected Noah to blurt it out and for Lee to possibly take the news badly- according to Noah's statement about his fear about revealing the 'something' that might ruin their friendship.

"Ok... ok...." Luke heard Noah's voice, but another hesitant sounding pause and Lee sigh impatiently.

Noah's voice, again, sounded scared, apprehensive and low-spirited. "Remember how I asked you not to say.... uh..... things like 'that's so gay'?"

"Yea, so what. I haven't since the plane ride."

"I know, thanks." Noah said softly. "The thing about that is... well.... I am."

"You are 'what'?"

Luke closed his eyes and wondered how Lee could be so dense. He also crossed his fingers, hoping Lee wasn't going to belittle Noah. If so, he was right there and he'd march right into the bedroom to support his brother.

"Gay."

Luke heard Noah say 'gay' even though he'd whispered it, then he heard Lee let out a short laugh before he spoke.

"Dude, I kinda thought that. I wasn't sure though."

"You did?"

"Yea, all that time you spent staring at Brody when I thought you had a thing for his girlfriend. I figured it out when you got offended by my saying 'gay' stuff. That's kind of why I said it on the plane ride here. I wanted you to tell me because I figured you thought I'd judge you or something."

"You don't judge me?"

"Not at all. I sorta feel bad for you having to keep it a secret for so long. Being afraid of who you are isn't healthy dude."

Luke exhaled, feeling so much better for Noah and headed to his room. Once there, he shut his door- now he could rest easy, BUT he couldn't rest easy when thoughts of Johnny came back. Now he wasn't thinking about his kisses or their groins pressing together and grinding. No, he was thinking about Johnny at this 'party' with Denise and his friends. Would Johnny be pressured into drinking? Was he into drinking? Would his friends pressure him into having sex with Denise? Would Denise pressure him? Where was Johnny going to sleep- because it was an overnight party. Would Denise sleep with him, touch him, kiss him all over? Jealously, again, reared it's head. Johnny had told him that he let his girlfriend give him blow jobs. Was he getting one right now? Luke felt ill. He didn't know how he could look at Johnny the same way after tonight. He'd be forever wondering, yet, he didn't want to know, then he changed his mind and he did want to know. He got up, frustrated with himself, and went to Noah's room. He knocked on the open door.

"Luke!" Noah grinned, seeing his brother. "Come in. Lee, this is my brother, Luke. Luke, this is my best friend, Lee."

Luke entered the room, wearing nothing but his sleep-shorts. He noticed Noah staring and felt the need to cover himself by crossing his arms. "Hi Lee. It's nice to finally meet the person responsible for Noah coming back to me.. us."

Lee blushed, chuckled with embarrassment because to him, it was no big deal. Noah was his best friend and he couldn't stand idly by and watch him be tormented by Connie and Earl. "No prob. I knew he was in a bad situation. I had to help. Nice to meet you too. Noah spoke of you all the time- because of the dreams he had. I'm so happy you're real and I know Noah is ecstatic that he has a real family."

"He does have a real family." Luke smiled at Noah with a look in his eyes that Noah couldn't place. Was it respect or affection? Fondness? "Noah? Could I borrow your cell phone? I have to call...." he paused. "Alan."

"Sure." Noah answered, rising off the bed. He took his phone off the dresser and handed it to Luke. "I didn't realize you had chest hair." Noah's eyes rose quickly, looking away from Luke's chest. How could he blurt that observation out like that? He hoped Luke didn't take it the wrong way. He also decided that tonight was not the night to bring up Luke's sneaking around and his suspicion that Luke had a girlfriend. He wondered if Luke was going to call her and if that was the reason he wanted to use his phone.

"Yea, it just started growing in thicker." Luke looked down, rubbing his chest. He wondered why he said that. He shouldn't have acknowledged what Noah said, but he had and it was too late to take back. "See ya Lee." he said, leaning to the side to peek at Lee.

"Later." Lee waved.

Luke backed out of the room, looking away from Noah's piercing blue eyes. Why did it appear that Noah had undressed him with his eyes? He felt naked, exposed and quickly made it back to his room. After he closed his door, he peeled back the blankets and slipped into bed. He couldn't use the phone until after his parents came up to say goodnight and he was planning on pretending to be asleep.

Lilly and Holden came upstairs a half and hour later to say goodnight to everyone before they went to bed. They opened Luke's door and saw that he was already asleep, but Lee and Noah were still talking.

"Boys?" Lilly asked softly.

Lee and Noah looked at the doorway, smiling.

"Lights out soon, ok?" Holden asked.

"Sure." Noah answered; Lee nodded.

"Goodnight Noah." Lilly kissed him on the side of his head. "Goodnight Lee. It's so nice that you could come for a visit. We'll see you both in the morning."

"Goodnight." Lee and Noah said at the same time, then Holden and Lilly went downstairs to their master bedroom

Lee and Noah kept talking, but with a low volume, about school and other things they used to talk about.

Luke turned on his reading light and punched in a number he'd memorized. He was afraid, but more than that, he was curious. It was almost an obsession now. He had to know. Just had to.

After several rings and biting his nails, he heard _him_ pick up and answer in his gruff, false voice- the one he used for a cover and to hide behind.

"Hello?" Johnny asked, not recognizing the number, but he answered anyway.

"Johnny?" Luke asked, hearing laughter, music and loud voices in the background. At least it wasn't quiet, if it had been, that could mean he was in the bedroom with Denise within their own privacy. Luke sighed happily.

"Who is this?" Johnny asked, his phone pressed tightly to his ear and a finger in the other in order to hear. "Hello?"

"It's me, Luke." he whispered as loudly as he dared.

"What do you want?"

"Can you talk?" Luke asked, wondering why Johnny sounded irritable. Then he understood, he was at a party with his friends and Luke, someone to fool around with, was bothering him. Did Luke have too high of an expectation to be treated with respect outside their 'alone' time?

Johnny spoke into the phone, lying, because Denise was next to him, so were his friends. "Just a minute Jimmy, let me get to a quiet area."

Luke knew Jimmy was Johnny's older brother and used his name as a ruse so everyone around him would be none the wiser. Luke heard Johnny excuse himself. Then the voices and party noises were fading until it was quiet.

"Hey." Johnny said as soon as the coast was clear and he was away from the house, at the edge of the property near the woods. He stepped behind a large tree and heard nothing on the other end of the phone. "Hello? You there? Princess....?"

Luke smiled, Johnny honestly sounded worried about him and the fact that he called him princess brought Luke's spirits up, soaring.

"Hi Prince." Luke said in a low tone to conceal his voice. He didn't want anyone to hear him talk. He shimmied out of his shorts and black, cotton, boxer briefs.

"How are you?" Johnny asked concerned.

Luke told himself he could do this. He wanted to do this. He missed Johnny and since, because of his own rules, they couldn't touch each other 'there' he needed this.

Right now.

"Hard." Luke said before he pressed his lips together and closed his eyes tightly shut. "Very hard." he replied again, touching his cockhead, spreading the small amount of warm, sticky, clear precum around it.

"Is that so?" Johnny chuckled, delightedly. "Tell me what you're doing. Are you jacking your dick while you listen to me talk, princess?"

Luke couldn't deny it. Johnny knew, whether it was because of Luke's deep breathing or his soft moan when Johnny called him by that name. "Yessss."

"Mmm," Johnny hummed with a grin on his face. He peeked around the tree, checking the house and yard for activity, then he told Luke to hold on for a second while he pushed his pants down.

"I'm back." Johnny breathed into the phone. "Damn, I wish I was watching you right now. I bet your dick is so hard, so big, pulsing in your hand. Is it? Tell me everything."

Johnny's questions turned Luke on and he moaned softly, pulling at his cock a little harder, getting a better grip and going a little faster, but not too fast, he wanted to make this last. "Well," he said, straining his voice. "It's hot and hard and throbbing. I'm touching it, stroking it, moving my hand up and down it's length..... aaaaah, feels so fucking good Johnny. I'm closing my eyes, pretending it's your hand touching me, getting me off."

"Shit... that's fucking hot." Johnny looked down and watched his hand work his own erect dick. "I wish you were here sucking me off, licking my stiff dick, tonguing my slit, cupping my nuts. UHHMM!" he grunted and forced his hips forward.

"Where are you right now?" Luke asked, throwing the blanket off his body, it was getting hot and he was sweating.

"In the woods by Morris's house." Morris was also a football player. Luke wondered why Johnny called everyone by their last names.

"In the woods..." Luke breathed a few deep breaths into the phone.

"Jesus, stop that. I'm gonna cum already." Johnny chuckled with amusement. "Breathing like that makes me hot and bothered."

"I think I like it when you're hot and bothered." Luke replied with a giggle.

"You're too cute."

"You too." Luke gasped, nearing release.

"You ready?"

"Close." Luke licked his dry lips and swallowed. "I-- I- oooh, so close... you?"

"I'm there..." Johnny sucked in a breath. When he let it out, it was a smooth, arousing, sensual moan which threw Luke into rippling waves that carried him into a sea of lust. He shuddered as ribbons of cum landed on his bare chest and spilled over his fist when it lost its intensity. He knew he wasn't as quiet as Johnny, he couldn't stop the small grunts and whimpers of pleasure coming from his mouth.

"Damn, boy...." Johnny let out a subdued chuckle. "You trying to get me hard again?" he asked, bending over to pull up his jeans one handed.

"Sorry." Luke apologized. "It felt so good and hearing you... was just.... awesome. Thanks." he beamed.

"Hold on, gotta get my pants on." He set his phone on the stump in front of himself and did his jeans. "Ok, back. So what prompted you to call and get off?" He grinned, happy that Luke did call, but he also needed to get back to the party before anyone missed him. He had been gone for more than 15 minutes and surely Denise or someone else would come looking for him.

"I was thinking about you and 'it' just popped up."

"'It' huh? Your dick popped up thinking about me. God... you say the cutest things."

"I'm not trying to be." Luke reddened. Cute? That's not very flattering for a guy- is it? Then again, princess isn't either, but Luke had grown to like it- a lot.

"You are though." Johnny whispered and looked around. He didn't see anyone.

"So, how's the party? Fun?"

"Yea, it's alright. The guys and their girlfriends, music.... stuff like that." Johnny shrugged as if it were no big deal.

"Is Denise there too?" Luke asked, trying not to sound jealous, but he was sure he came off as sounding just like that. He hated that he couldn't hide his emotions well. Maybe it took practice.

"Yea. She's in the house talking with the other cheerleaders."

"Oh." Luke answered, squeezing the phone with his shoulder to pull up his shorts, then he grabbed tissues and wiped himself off. He threw the tissues away in the basket by the bed and laid back down before he asked, "Did you and she..... make out?"

Johnny felt guilty. He felt like he was cheating on Luke when he was with Denise and felt like he was cheating on Denise when he was with Luke. He couldn't win. Why couldn't he have both and keep his private life 'private' with Luke and his public life 'public' with Denise. Luke knew he was gay, so why didn't he understand he needed to keep up this facade? Luke wasn't out either, he should know what it was like.

"You did." Luke declared without a doubt in his voice. How could Johnny be kissing him this morning and afternoon, then be kissing Denise tonight? It wasn't fair. Johnny didn't answer, therefore Luke knew he had been kissing her.

"I'm sorry." Johnny said, sounding genuinely remorseful. "I have to act the part. I have to do this."

"You don't have to date a girl to pretend to be straight. You can be single and see me when we can be alone."

"Ahh," Johnny sighed. "If only it were that easy."

Luke chewed the inside of his cheek. He heard in the distance; "Johhny, where are you baby?"

"Is that Denise?" Luke asked, his heart sinking into his chest. Couldn't he and Johnny talk alone for a while without HER coming between them? There was that jealously again.

"Yes. I should go." Johnny whispered. "Talk to you later."

"No, wait." Luke said louder than he wanted to, but he wanted Johnny to take him seriously and stay on the line.

"What? She's getting closer." Johnny said, sneaking a peek around the tree.

"Johnny.... want another blowjob? I want you baby. Come out, come out wherever you are. Let me suck the life outta you!"

Luke gasped loudly. "JUST KISSING HUH?" he said angrily, tears forming in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't act like a jealous lover. He knew it wasn't right to act this way. Most often, it turned the other person off.

"Luke, please... listen to me... it doesn't mean a thing. I swear." Johnny said as Luke wiped his eyes. "Princess?"

Just as Luke was about to respond, he heard Denise say loud and clear, "Aww, honey, I love that you called me princess! You're so sweet! You're my prince." It broke Luke's heart to hear her say that.

"Um, I'm still on the phone Denise, give me a minute, 'kay?" Johnny said, back in his 'manly' voice; deep and low.

"Get off the phone so I can give you what you want. You know only I can please you-- no one else." Denise said lovingly.

Johnny spoke in the phone, "Uh, Jimmy? I have to get back to the party. I'll see you really soon though, I mean it. Soon. Ok? Well bye. Hello? Are you there?"

Luke's heart lurched, he hung up and turned onto his stomach, dropping the phone on the floor. His first relationship ended before it even started. Why didn't Johnny set her straight? Prince and princess would never be their secret names, they'd be Denise and Johnny's. Luke cried himself to sleep, thoughts of Johnny and his girlfriend kissing and doing other things swirled around his mind.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 15

~~~~~~

Noah and Lee woke late the next morning. They'd stayed up later than they intended, later than Holden and Lilly had told them they could. They dressed and yawned and went downstairs.

"There you boys are." Lilly smiled, turning around from the sink where she was doing the dishes. "Is Luke coming down too?"

Noah answered, "I haven't seen him. His door is closed. Maybe he's sleeping in?"

"Hm." Lilly looked thoughtful. "I'll go check on him after I feed you two. By the way, do you know a Cliff from school? I know you haven't been there long, but he called and wanted to talk to Luke. He said he's a friend. Did Luke introduce you to him?"

"Noah frowned, thinking back. He shook his head slowly. "No, not that I remember, sorry I couldn't be of help."

"He said he'll call back, don't worry." Lilly smiled at him. "Have a seat and I'll get some juice. What would you like for breakfast? Ham and eggs? Steak and eggs, blueberry pancakes, Chocolate chip muffins and oatmeal?"

Lee raised his eyebrows high. "Wow." He grinned. "Ham and eggs sounds good. How about you Miles?"

Noah chuckled at the faux pau. "Ham and eggs sounds fine. Can we help?"

"I'd love it! Crack six eggs and cut up some ham. I'll squeeze some fresh orange juice for you." Lilly patted Noah's strong shoulder.

After breakfast, Lee and Noah decided to take his car for a spin. Lilly insisted on giving Noah some money to spend, telling him it was his allowance. Noah was humbled and took the money then he and his friend went downtown.

Luke had been awake for a while. He even heard Lee and Noah peek into his room before they left. He'd heard them coming up the stairs, talking about going out. He acted as if he was asleep. He was hurting, his heart broken, his eyes stinging and red. He couldn't help how he felt- even when he told himself he barely knew Johnny. Why did this bother him so much?

_Because all this teasing each other for the past year was like foreplay or a friendship, a relationship of sorts. He can be so sensitive and kind when he's being himself, not hiding behind the fact that he's a jock. He's sweet, and I'm 'into' him-- already! It bothers me that he's __with someone else and not with me. I'm envious of Denise. She gets to be seen in public with him, kiss him whenever and wherever she __wants and it's acceptable. It's not fair. It's absolutely shitty!_

"Luke? Honey?" Lilly opened the door and Luke didn't have time to close his eyes and feign sleep.

"Yea mom?"

"There's a boy named Cliff on the phone for you. It's the second time he's called." Lilly said, then saw her son's face when she came closer to him. "What's wrong?" she asked, sitting on the bed, taking his hand.

"Um, I don't feel well." Luke said, looking away. If she saw his eyes, she'd know he was lying.

But she had. Again she asked, "What is wrong? You've been crying. Luke?"

"It's nothing, really." Luke lied.

But it was everything.

"Is it your brother?"

"Noah? No." Luke snorted.

"Well then what? Please tell me, or would you rather talk to your father?" Lilly asked.

"No. It's... it's a girl." he said, semi truthfully. It was Denise, it was Johnny and it was himself-- all combined into this 'girl' he said was bothering him.

"Oh." Lilly nodded. "You like this girl and she's not interested?"

"Mom, I don't really want to talk to you about this. I can deal with it. Seriously. It was over before it began anyway." Luke said, rising from bed. "I'll take the phone up here in the hall. Please hang up downstairs when I answer, ok?"

"Of course honey." Lilly stood up and tousled his hair. "I'll see you downstairs when you're done, I'll make you breakfast or if you prefer, lunch."

"I'm not that hungry." Luke said, walking to the phone on the table in the hallway. Knowing Noah and Lee were gone, he felt confident the call would be private with whomever Cliff was. He had an idea, but he didn't wan to get his hopes up. Luke's hand paused over the phone. What was he supposed to say if it was Johnny? What could he say? Was there anything he Could say?

"Mom, I got it. You can hang up now." Luke spoke into the phone without emotion.

"Ok sweetie." Lilly said and hung up.

Luke drew a breath and said, "Hello," with trepidation.

"Hi."

Not 'Hi princess', just a lame ol' 'Hi.' Luke's shoulders slumped. Johnny's voice was lowered, possibly because he was in the presence of his family or it could be lowered because he'd been brushed off by last night and wanted Luke's forgiveness— he knew Luke was angry about what Denise said.

"Hello." Luke said formally as if talking to a teacher. He raised his chin bravely to stay strong and composed. He'd teach Johnny that he didn't deserve to be treated second best.

"About last night— "

"Forget it. I have." Luke said cooly. He could do this.

"Um, ok." Johnny frowned, wondering if Luke would accept an apology at this point. It sounded unlikely; he tried anyway. "I just want to say I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Don't make this hard. Come on, you know, about Denise." Johnny sighed.

"What about her?" Luke almost growled.

"I can hear in your voice that you're really mad. Please understand tha-"

"That she's your girlfriend and I'm just a guy that you kissed in three instances.... situations... whatever!. I'm an experiment, right? She gets all the public recognition and I get to be on call. She kisses you, touches you and gives you bj's.... I understand! I get it! I got it! I'm so glad we never went farther than kissing and grinding. I have self respect Johnny. I'm not someone you can mess with and cast away."

"I know, I get that and I'm sorry."

"I don't want your sorries. I want something you can't give me— your undivided attention. I don't want to compete with a girl." Luke stated firmly. He waited for a response, hearing Johnny breathing while he was possibly debating what to do. Finally, Johnny made a decision.

"Fine." he said to Luke.

"Fine what?" Luke asked, then held his breath and his body up by placing his hand on the wall and leaning against it.

"Just... fine."

"I don't understand what that means!" Luke said loudly.

"Princess I--"

"DON"T call me that!" Luke said angrily. "That's Denise's name now. She calls you prince, what I called you."

"I wasn't calling HER that. I said it to YOU on the phone and she overheard me and thought I was talking to her. I know you heard everything Luke. I know **that** and I'm sorry."

There it was again, 'Luke'. He wished Johnny would have insisted on calling him princess. Luke said in a calm, sedate way, "I'm sorry too."

Johnny's voice lifted, "So we're good?"

Luke shook his head. "I meant I'm sorry as in... goodbye."

"Hey, no!" Luke heard Johnny yell in a panic before he hung up on the football player. The phone rang again, and rang some more.

"Luke! Phone!" Lilly called up the stairs. Luke pretended he didn't hear her. He entered the bathroom and took a long hot shower even though it was shaping up to be a warm day. He thought about Johnny and the phone call and rested his palms and forehead against the wall of the shower.

Noah and Lee walked around town. They shopped, then saw a movie. Noah showed him the ice cream shop and the bench from his dreams. They sat there with colas while they talked.

"So... are you dating anyone?" Lee asked Noah, glancing at him, then away again, embarrassed by asking the question.

"Oh, no. I'm not out. Actually, only you and Luke know."

"You should tell your parents."

"My parents?"

"Yea, Lilly and Holden. They're your parents now, right? You're their foster kid." Lee now looked at Noah, seeing him deep in thought.

"They are." Noah smiled. "Yea."

"So, there's no guy that has caught your eye? No one?" Lee asked with disbelief. Someone out there had to catch Noah's eye. Had to.

Noah shrugged with a sly smile on his face.

"I know that look. Spill it dude, who's the dude?" Lee laughed, slapping his leg. "That sounds so funny."

"There is someone, but he's straight and not attainable. I mean, accessible... whatever. There's not a chance for me."

"Like Brody?"

"Just like Brody." Noah nodded. "I have to scope out the school, I haven't really looked yet and even if there was a gay guy out there, I'm not sure I'd want anyone to know I am gay at this point. You know how high schoolers can be."

"Yea, teasing and beatings. It's not right and a high price to pay to be out. I don't blame you for staying silent." Lee said, watching a pretty girl walk by. "Man, there's some gorgeous girls in this town, not like the ones in Ohio."

"You're just used to seeing the same ones day in and day out." Noah stood up. "We better head back. I think Holden said the pilot could fly you back between three and four. The truck is coming to haul your car to Ohio exactly at three."

"Alright, lets go. Hey Noah, I'm gonna miss you." Lee stood up and walked with Noah to his car.

"Me too." Noah stated. "I love ya... you know, like a friend."

"Love you too... that sounds really sappy. How about we say something like, umm...... 'Rock on'?"

Noah snickered and nodded. "Ok, rock on."

"Rock on Noah." Lee laughed and slapped Noah on the back.

Noah rode with Lee in the plane to Ohio. When he arrived back in Oakdale, a woman with light reddish blond hair was waiting for him by the car that would take him back to the Snyder's home. He approached her cautiously and asked, "Are you the driver?"

The woman put her hand to her chest and laughed, "Oh no dear boy. I'm your grandmother Lucinda, Lilly's mother. Hop in, I'm taking you to dinner at the Lakeview. We can talk and catch up."

Noah and Lucinda ordered dinner and as they sipped their iced teas, Lucinda continued to stare.

"Darling." she said with dramatic flair. "I am absolutely beside myself. You have turned into such handsome young man, almost all grown up. I can't believe you're the same little boy that played with Luke in my kitchen. You and he were in cahoots with trouble. He was a handful, getting you both in trouble. I remember one time I had stepped out of the room for a brief moment and when I came back, you both were covered head to toe in flour. Luke was under the impression that you and he had invisible powder on. Neither of you could figure out how I found you both to scold you." Lucinda and Noah laughed together, then she added, "You were a pair I'll tell you, but so cute together. You and Luke never wanted to be separated. Where one went, the other went too, no matter what."

"We were that close?"

"Yes. When you were kidnapped, little Luke packed his backpack with clothes and some animal crackers and a few juice boxes. He was intent on going to find you. He was so sad when Lilly and Holden wouldn't let him leave the yard. He cried for hours. Nothing could stop him or calm him, that is until he fell asleep from exhaustion. So sad." she shook her head with the sad memory. "But you're back! We're all relieved to see that you're safe. So many things could have happened to you. Lilly told me you seem to be a level headed and kind person, despite your living conditions and the way those people treated you. I'd love to see them behind bars. I hope they're caught soon and sentenced. They deserve the stiffest penalty the law can provide. I'd also like to give them a piece of my mind. People like that have no place to go but prison, they don't deserve the freedoms that the rest of us good people have."

Noah's smile came forth. He liked Lucinda and her thoughts and opinionated views. She was a strong woman and he admired that attribute about her. Nothing seemed to get past her and she would do anything to protect one of her own, even him!

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 16

warning: minor violence/derogatory name calling

~~~~~~~

The following day--

Luke, Noah, Alan and Bailey waited outside for the bus. Noah turned to Luke and saw that he was still in a quiet mood, so he decided to pick on him and make him smile.

"So, you have a girlfriend huh?"

Bailey and Alan's eyes snapped to Luke's face. "You do?" Bailey asked with shock.

"No." Luke looked down and kicked a pebble.

"You did though. That's why you wanted to borrow my phone the other night, right? You went to her house on Saturday morning too. Lilly said you were being secretive about who lived there. So, who is she?" Noah nudged Luke.

"Knock it off. I SAID there's no one!" Luke stepped away and moved down the sidewalk.

"Jeez...." Noah said slowly. "He's in a bad way."

Bailey turned and glanced at Luke. "I'd say."

Alan got everyone in a huddle. "He told me he was seeing someone, but that he liked another girl. I think he broke up with the one and the other doesn't want to date or something."

"Who is it?" Bailey asked, very interested in who Luke dated. How he could stay silent and keep a secret like that surprised her and she wondered why Luke went to Alan for advice on girls when Alan had no experience whatsoever with females.

"He didn't say." Alan whispered. "But he has a crush on someone. I guess it didn't work out."

Noah looked up, seeing his brother standing alone and walked to him. He put an arm around Luke, feeling Luke stiffen. "Are you alright? Do you want to talk?"

Luke welcomed the 'hug', but it was wrong to feel what his body was telling him. This was his brother. "I'm fine. I'll be ok." Luke shuffled to the side causing Noah's arm to slide off from around Luke's shoulders.

Noah sighed. "Sorry."

"I'm sorry." Luke said, glancing at Noah's feet. "I'm in a bad mood. Just don't touch me, ok?"

Noah was taken aback. "O-Ok." He replied in a hurtful voice before walking back to Bailey and Alan. "He's really down."

Bailey replied, "He needs some time alone. That's how he deals."

"Yea." Alan added, "He'll work it out."

On the bus, Luke took the window seat and stared out the window. At school, he was quiet. Before lunch at their locker, Luke told Noah that he was wanted to be alone outside, but he didn't say it was to avoid seeing Johnny in the lunchroom. Noah laid a caring hand on Luke's shoulder, then remembered Luke said not to touch him. He let his hand fall and told him if he wanted to talk, he was there for him. Luke knew that, but declined the offer.

Luke went out the front doors and down the steps. He sat on the very last one, leaning forward on his knees and turning his large ring on his finger. To his surprise, the doors behind him opened. Hearing laughter, he turned around and saw three football players, one of them being Johnny, and Denise, who was hanging all over Johnny, practically climbing up his body. Luke quickly turned away, hearing Brooks;

"There's that 'princess'. What a fag." then he laughed. The others laughed too, but Luke didn't hear Johnny laugh. He did feel someone hit him hard on the back of his head.

"Fag boy. Princess, where's your dress?" Brooks turned and looked at Luke.

"Come on Brooks." Johnny said. "Let's go."

"Just wait." Brooks said eyeing Luke, who's eyes flashed anger.

"Now!" Johnny said sternly.

Brooks turned to look at Johnny. "What? You're the only one who gets to tease the transvestite?"

"I'm not a transvestite!" Luke stood up and pushed Brooks.

Johnny left Denise's side and stood next to Brooks; staring at him. "Leave him, we're going." he said firmly to his friend, putting a hand on Brooks's chest.

"He fucking pushed me! That fairy touched me!" Brooks lunged forward and pushed Luke back; expressions of anger and hate on both faces. It was one thing to be teased by Johnny, whom Luke knew didn't mean a word he said, and another to be teased by Brooks who was an all out hater of gays.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Johnny yelled, grabbing Brooks bicep with one hand and Luke's with the other, pulling them apart and separating them. "Brooks, go to the car." his voice was lowered, but still had that edge of anger in it.

Brooks yanked his arm away from Johnny and scowled at Luke. Likewise, Luke pulled his arm away from Johnny's grasp too. "Don't touch me asshole." he muttered to Johnny.

A hurt look crossed Johnny's face. He looked like he was going to say something, but Denise called for him.

"Better go to your 'princess', **John**." Luke narrowed his eyes. "Go on." He pointed, his big ring glistening in the sunlight.

Johnny shook his head sadly. "Sorry." he whispered.

"No, you're not." Luke's eyes teared up. Johnny got a glimpse of the shimmery look before Luke spun around and went up the steps; his eyes stayed on Luke.

Brooks ran back to Johnny. "Come on dude! Why are you talking to that fairy anyway?"

"I told him if he ever touches you again, he'll have the whole team after him, that's all." Johnny said, being pulled away by Brooks to the car. He looked back once, but Luke had gone inside. He got to the car, but instead of driving to the diner he said, "Guys, I think I want to be alone with Denise for lunch. Do you mind?"

"Hell no!"

"Johnny's gonna get some!"

Brooks and the other player, named Sammy, teased, then left.

"Get in." Johnny said to Denise, opening the door for her. She got in with a big smile on her face. She knew from experience with other football players she'd dated, that guys didn't have an appetite for food in these instances; they usually went somewhere to 'park'.

Luke didn't want to go to the lunch room and get questioned by Bailey, Alan or Noah... or it could be worse, they'd all be silent and uncomfortable, afraid to say anything to him. He went to his locker to hang out for a while, then he'd go to class early and sit there.

"Ooohh! Look there."

Luke looked to his left and saw Brooks and Sammy. "Shit." he muttered to himself.

"I bet he's not so tough now." Brooks said to Sammy, then to Luke, "Are you?" He laughed.

"Leave me alone." Luke frowned. He wasn't afraid, per se, but he didn't want to be ganged up on. He slammed his locker shut and faced the football players with an inflamed look in his eyes. "Get lost."

"Oh I don't think so." Brooks and Sammy took a few steps toward Luke. Brooks stopped his friend with a hand across his chest. "He's mine." Brooks said, glaring at Luke.

"Think you can push me around, queer?" Brooks stood before Luke now.

"I'm not afraid of you, Brooks. You're just a dumb jock, all muscle but no brain, you're a half-wit." Luke snarled, curling his upper lip. Thinking about Johnny and Denise made his anger flare up even more. His body felt a surge of adrenaline.

"Luke!" Noah called to him, seeing the football player about to strike.

Luke raised himself to look over Brooks shoulder to see who was calling him. _Noah, great._ His gaze returned to Brooks, but he'd let his guard down when he had looked at Noah. He took a punch to the stomach. A big gust of air was expelled from his lungs before he crossed his arms and bend over.

Brooks and Sammy laughed and pointed at Luke. When Noah got behind them, they were abruptly pulled back by their shirts. "Leave my brother alone. Get outta here you fucking assholes!"

The football players gave Luke and Noah a look of rage before they turned and left.

"Are you alright?" Noah asked worriedly, putting his arm around Luke and bending down too- the same posture as Luke.

"Yea." Luke managed to speak.

"What happened? Why did they hit you?" Noah asked, not realizing he was now petting down Luke's hair. "Were they teasing you again?"

Luke nodded, adding, "But I fought back. I'm not afraid of them." He coughed and tried to raise his body to stand up, but his abdomen hurt. He winced and moaned as Noah helped him straighten himself so he could walk. "Damn, this hurts."

"Never been hit in the belly before?" Noah asked, "The trick is to tighten the muscles before the fist hits ya. Trust me, I learned that a long time ago."

"Yea? Thanks for sharing." Luke smiled. "Look Noah, I'm sorry about this morning. I'm having a hard time."

"A hard time getting over her, whoever she is?" Noah asked, wanting to hug his brother, to ease his pain and hurt, but he couldn't. He didn't want to feed his own urges.

"Kinda like that." Luke nodded and tried to take a deep breath unsuccessfully. "God it hurts to breathe. Do you think he broke a rib or two?" he asked, holding his stomach with one hand while leaning against his locker.

"Not where he got ya, but he did get you good." Noah stared at Luke's face. "So bro, who is she? Does she go to school here?"

Luke thought for a moment, then shook his head. "No- I met her downtown one day and we went on a few dates, but she... went back to her ex boyfriend." he lied, thinking it was better to fib than to tell the truth. After getting a surprise punch in the stomach from Johnny's friends, he knew Noah would never let Johnny around him if he told him it was Johnny that hurt him mentally. He didn't want anyone to know he was gay anyway. It was just easier this way.

"That sucks. I'm sorry. See, you should be like me and date guys." Noah teased and laughed, rubbing Luke's back in a comforting way. "Girls will break your heart, stomp all over it with no regard for your feelings, then blame you for everything going wrong."

Luke nodded, thinking, _You have no idea. So do guys and I hope you __never find out._

Bailey and Alan finished lunch and soon joined Luke and Noah in the hall.

"What happened?" Bailey asked, hugging Luke.

Alan saw the warm and welcoming embrace she gave Luke and looked down sadly. He knew she still had a huge crush on Luke.

"One of those idiot jocks caught him off guard and punched him in the stomach." Noah explained.

"Oh you poor baby!" Bailey was all over him. Alan watched and said with sincerity, "Luke, I hope you feel better."

"Thanks Alan." Luke said kindly, watching Alan sulk away. "Bailey? I appreciate the attention, but I'm really ok. You might want to see if Alan is alright."

Bailey looked in the direction Alan went. She shrugged and made a face. "I'm sure it's because of me. He asked if he could hold my hand when we walked to lunch. He has this idea that since I said I'd go with him to the dance, that I'm his girlfriend or something."

"Would that be so bad?" Noah asked her, putting a hand on his hip. Alan was a good guy and she wasn't treating him very well. He knew they were very good friends before he asked her out. Why couldn't she continue being friends with Alan, or at least treating him as one instead of an unwanted growth she couldn't get rid of.

"He's just.... Just _Alan_. Luke and I have known him forever and I've never had those sort of feelings for him. It's weird."

"He has feelings too. Real ones for you. At least give him a chance." Luke said, looking into her eyes. His eyes darted away when he heard crying in the hall. Wondering where it came from, he searched until he saw Denise run by with her hands over her face and her ponytail swinging. He wondered what happened and drew his brows together.

"I wonder what happened to her?" Noah asked.

"Johnny the jock probably broke up with her or was cheating and she found out. Aren't all jocks of the mentality where they think with only their dicks because they have no brains?" Bailey laughed at her own joke with Noah joining in, but Luke didn't crack a smile. She said, "Alright, you've convinced me. I'll see what's up with Alan. See ya on the bus."

"Bye." Noah smiled at her, then turned to the locker. "You're spaced out. What's up?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing." Luke replied watching the halls become more crowded as the time for the next class neared.

Noah was searching the locker when Brooks and Johnny neared Luke. They both looked at him, but Brooks was sneering and Johnny looked apologetic.

"There he is Johnny." Brooks stopped. "The sissy that took a hit to the gut and went down like a little girl."

"Come on." Johnny implored, trying to pull Brooks away.

Noah turned around and stood next to Luke. He challenged, "Wanna fight both of us Brooks? Johnny? We can tag team it. Let's meet after school and I'll show you how to fight like a real man, not a like a wuss that hits when the other person isn't expecting it." Noah set his jaw and stared at Brooks, then at Johnny, who was shaking his head.

"Sissies." Noah muttered.

Luke stared at Johnny. Did he break up with Denise? Did HE have something to do with it? He wanted to know now. He wished they could talk privately. Then he had an idea. He looked at his brother and said, "I'm going to the bathroom. See you later Noah."

"Yup." Noah nodded, watching Luke go.

"I gotta go to class." Brooks said, staring at Noah who hulked over him a good four inches and had about ten pounds more muscle than him. Brooks asked, "Coming Johnny?"

"Go ahead." Johnny said to Brooks, "I'll be there in a minute." He turned and walked away, taking the hall to the right. He looked around and ducked into the bathroom. It was empty. He ran his fingers across his lips and bent over to see under the stalls. There were the familiar pair of sneakers. He walked to the metal door and knocked. "It's me." he whispered. "Johnny, your prince." He gulped, hoping Luke would let him in. He painstakingly waited for a few moments, not getting a response. He KNEW those were Luke's sneakers, without a doubt.

"Hey, princess... please, talk to me. Luke?" Johnny was about to back away when he heard the latch on the door slide open.

"What?" Luke asked, wanting to pull Johnny in with him, yet, wanting to push him away.

"Can I come in?" Johnny continued to whisper. "Please." He begged, raising his eyebrows.

Luke gazed at the blond's face, seeing anguish and a look of wanting to be forgiven. Luke pushed the door open so Johnny could come into the small stall. He closed the door and locked it. They stood facing each other, a mere six inches apart due to the size of the stall. It wasn't meant for two, but they both found it exciting.

"I'm sorry about what happened outside and I heard about Brooks hitting you in the stomach. Are you ok?" Johnny furrowed his brow angrily. He couldn't believe Brooks actually hit Luke. HE wanted to hit Brooks when he found out, but then everyone would want to know why he was protecting Luke by going after Brooks. He just couldn't.

"I'll be fine. It just smarts."

"Can I see?" Johnny asked, staring into Luke's hazel eyes, reaching for the hem of his shirt. Seeing Luke nod once, he lifted the shirt and lowered himself to look.

"Oh god." Johnny said, starring at the huge red mark that was already beginning to bruise. He looked up at Luke with care, then back at his stomach. His mouth brushed against Luke's stomach, making it quiver. He slowly kissed the whole area while the bell rang. Luke tried to inhale, but his breaths were shallow and quick.

"Mmm--" Luke hummed, one hand on Johnny's head, the other on his muscular shoulder.

"Shhh..." Johnny said, smiling on Luke's stomach before his tongue licked; leaving a long wide strip of wetness on Luke's skin. He moaned, tasting the way only Luke could taste. Both of his hands were holding up Luke's shirt, but he dropped one to cup Luke's butt. He kneaded and squeezed and continued kissing and licking.

Luke's head fell back, hitting the metal stall with a 'thunk'.

Johnny looked up and grinned. "You alright, princess?"

Luke nodded, pulling Johnny up, wanting to kiss him, but his curiosity overrode his needs right now. "Did you break it off with--"

"Yes." Johnny's mouth almost met his, but Luke stopped him.

"Wait up there." Luke grinned lopsidedly. "Why did you do it?"

"You want to know why?" he asked, still whispering. "Why do you think?" His hands raised, wrapping around Luke's waist and pulling him tightly to his body.

"I'm sure I don't know." Luke baited.

"Well," Johnny pecked Luke on the lips. "There's this guy I know..." he kissed Luke again. "...and he's hot, his kisses drive me wild and his phone calls... oh man..." Johnny shook his head with a grin. "blow my mind. Not only that, but he's absolutely adorable and I want him so bad." He ground his pelvis against Luke's. "Mmm, so bad." he murmured on Luke's parted lips, then kissed him hard and passionately.

Luke broke first to speak, "I missed this. Your kiss, your touch."

Johnny chuckled deeply, yet softly. "Missed you too. You crushed me you know... when you hung up on me yesterday. I called back a few times and your mom said you couldn't talk. I figured you were really pissed about Denise and me. I don't blame you, I was pissed off at her too. I ended it because I don't want to hurt you like that again. I never want to hurt you." He palmed Luke's face and kissed him.

Luke closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Johnny's neck; holding the back of his head. His body was aroused and his mind was on overdrive, over-stimulated and overloaded with thoughts of touching Johnny and wanting to fill his sexual desires.

Their heart rates picked up, pounding against each others' chest. Their breathing quickened as their hands roamed and wandered. Johnny drew back to breathe and gain control of his emotions, thoughts and body.

"I want you so much." Luke said, running his hands up and down Johnny's hard chest.

"Me too. It's hard to tame what my mind is telling me. What my dick wants to do." Johnny chuckled.

"Yea." Luke exhaled, looking down. His hand shot out and landed on Johnny's crotch. He rubbed the obvious hardness, feeling the warmth under his palm. He thought he could feel it pulsing and moving with each gently rub up and down. He watched Johnny's impassioned face, saw him reach behind himself to find the wall, then fell against it, closing his eyes and sighing. "Goddamn... oh-" He sighed loudly, pushing and pressing himself against Luke's hand. "Slow down, I don't wanna cum.... aaahh jesus feels good... in my jeans."

"Oops, I forgot." Luke giggled.

"You want to?" Johnny opened his eyes. "--ya know." He nodded downward.

Luke bit his lip. "O-Ok." he said shyly, reaching for Johnny's belt.

"Whoa, just wait." Johnny grabbed Luke's wrists. "You don't have to. It was a suggestion and I can take a 'no' from you." He smiled warmly at Luke.

"I don't mind. Really. But ah, tell me if I'm doing it right."

"Silly, you got one, you should know how to do it." Johnny pinched Luke's ass. "You're so cute."

"The way I do it might not be the same way you do it." Luke stated.

"Listen princess, when you touch me, I'll cum. Believe me." He licked his lips before pressing them to Luke's full ones.

"So?"

Luke didn't answer. His hands shakily pulled Johnny's belt through the clasp, then he undid his button and zipper. He stopped, a little intimidated when it came time to push his pants down, but Johnny's soft moan broke him of the spell he was under. His fingers did double time and pushed down the boxers and jeans. He watched Johnny's cock pop out- a dark red head with a shaft that curved upward. "God." Luke uttered, seeing his first erection. His face flushed from excitement when he reached out and tentatively touched the muscle.

"S-Shit." Johnny hitched his breath. "Feels good, keep going. Please?"

Luke nodded, his fingertips grazing the length of Johnny's cock, playing with the head, feeling the silky smoothness. He let out a weakened sigh while his stomach fluttered. He experimented with a loose grip, finding Johnny liked his cock held a little tighter.

"Unngg" Johnny grunted pleasurably, grabbing the front of Luke's shirt and drawing him near to taste the inside of his mouth. His tongue searched and explored the inside of Luke's mouth. His hand dragged down Luke's body and came to rest on Luke's crotch. He ended the kiss and looked deeply into Luke's eyes. "I have to switch positions." he said with his eyes half lidded, his mouth moving slightly when he moaned or grunted. He turned slightly, facing the toilet, when the start of a series of tremors shot through him. Luke watched him cum, fascinated. He'd never witnessed that before, nor had he made a boy cum before. It made him so incredibly hard, aching hard, throbbing and stimulated hard. He stared in awe as his hand continued stroking the pulsing cock in his hand. "Damn... God Johnny." Luke's voice was erotic when he spoke. Johnny's body began to vibrate at the peak of his orgasm.

"Aaaah baby... that was the shit." Johnny pulled some toilet paper off the roll to wipe the tip of his cock off.

Luke grinned. "Did you call me-" Luke whispered, "baby?"

"Wipe that big ass grin off your face, princess." Johnny snickered while pulling up his pants.

"I guess the rumors about athletes are false. I've always heard they have little dicks." Luke giggled.

Johnny covered Luke's mouth with his hand. "Shhh, we can't get caught, and rumors about cock size? Really?"

Luke nodded. "Yup, but you've dispelled all of the rumors I've heard."

"Maybe because I'm the ONLY exception to the rule." Johnny's hand came up and wanted to caress Luke's face, but again, he didn't. It just didn't seem like a normal thing he'd do. Instead, he put it on Luke's shoulder and said, "Thanks, want me to get you off too? I will. I'd like to see how it is."

"It was awesome feeling you in my hand, making you shoot, seeing you cum... it was wonderful." Luke replied with a silly smile. He felt Johnny yanking at his jeans and shook his head, "No, not here."

"Aw, come on."

"No. Some other time, ok?"

"Well, ok, but I feel like I took advantage of you. Are you sure you don't want me to get you off too?" Johnny asked uncertain whether Luke was telling him the truth or not.

"I'm positive." Luke answered and pecked Johnny on the lips. He gazed into bluish-green eyes and asked, "Are we-" He couldn't finish and looked down.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me." Johnny ordered.

"No, it's nothing." Luke looked up and shook his head.

Johnny frowned, put his hands on Luke's shoulders and pushed him to the side of the stall they were in. "Dammit! I want to know. If it's about me and you, I have to know- I deserve to know. If you don't want to see me... then tell me. Just don't fuck around, say it."

"No, oh no!" Luke's eyes widened, he threw his arms around Johnny's neck, kissing it as well, murmuring near his ear, "No, it's not that. I wanted to know, are we just messing around or-- what would you call this?"

"I don't know, princess." Johnny spoke into Luke's ear. "I don't know what to say except that we have some kind of a relationship. A hidden and secret one and I-" He shut up immediately when they both heard the door open and someone walk in. Luke quickly stood on the toilet, then hunched down while Johnny stood in front of him so his shoes were pointed in the right direction if the person who entered would crouch down and look. Luke stared at the back of Johnny's head, then leaned forward, keeping his balance, and licked the nape of his neck. Johnny sucked in a huge amount of air in surprise and held still. Luke was so gonna get it when the guy left the bathroom! The person used the urinal, then washed his hands, dried them and left. When it was quiet, Johnny turned around and playfully pushed Luke. Losing his balance, Luke tried to regain it by offsetting the direction he was going, unfortunately, his sneaker ended up in the toilet.

Johnny began laughing, then harder when he saw Luke's appalled and disgusted face, and even harder when Luke made a face at him.

"You're such a dick." Luke whispered jokingly. "So mean to me."

"Aw," Johnny hugged him, his body still shaking with laughter. "Sorry, but damn, it's hilarious. I'm gonna call you shitty smelly foot from now on."

Luke shook his head, trying not to laugh, "How about you not?"

"This is too good to pass up. Sorry princess. In public I'll call you shitty smelly foot."

"Don't. I don't want to be known around school for being smelly. Seriously dude, don't."

"Oh alright."

"I like princess anyway." Luke smiled, shaking his foot.

"Damn boy! Don't! I don't want that shit water on my jeans."

"Sorry." Luke said and put his foot down, squishing water out from the sides. "Gross." He cringed at the sound.

"You were saying you like me calling you princess now?"

"Yup." Luke smiled, tweaking Johnny's nose.

"Stop that." Johnny said, thinking it was a childish gesture.

Luke became serious. "I should go."

"Why? Class is already half through. We may as well hang out in here for the rest of it."

"Ok." Luke nodded, sighed and looked at the ceiling.

Johnny eyed Luke's adams apple, wanting to go for it. He changed his mind, his eyes drifted down Luke's body. "You're really good looking." he stated as a fact.

Luke cleared his throat. "Thanks." He met Johnny's eyes, then looked away, focusing on some writing on the stall door to the left of Johnny's head. It was silent for a long time- an uncomfortable silence and neither boy knew why.

"What now?" Luke asked after several minutes.

"We wait." Johnny said with an eyebrow arched high.

"No, with us I mean. We're just buddies who get off together?" Luke wanted clarification.

"Well, no." Johnny said, "You haven't let me get you off yet, it's been one sided."

"Oh." Luke nodded. What was he trying to get Johnny to say? Admit? What did he want?

"Look, I know what you're saying, but let's slow it down. Everything in good time. We don't even know where this is going, so why put a name to it?"

"Hmm"

"What now?"

"Oh..." Luke's eyes shot to Johnny's. "nothing."

"Right, nothing." Johnny muttered in his other voice, the tough, 'straight' football player one. "With you, it's always nothing. You don't want to open up so you shut down and say it's nothing."

Luke was feeling humiliated. He turned and put his hand on the lock, intending to leave, but Johnny twisted Luke back around. "Stay."

"I don't want to now." Luke scratched his head, then crossed his arms nervously.

"Why? Because I know what you want to ask, but you know I'll say no because I just explained why? You need to--"

"I don't need anything!" Luke exclaimed. "You included!"

"God! Your so... so hot headed! Take it easy!"

"I don't take orders from you." Luke grumbled.

Johnny rose his hands and said, "Fine. Go. Thanks for getting me off, for kissing me, for helping me with geometry and for being a friend for four days. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with Denise after all. You're more trouble than you're worth **Luke**!"

Luke stared at Johnny's face, wondering where he went wrong and why he was so mad at Johnny, he didn't know. It just emerged without warning. He blinked hard, hearing the words coming from those beautiful lips, then he turned without a word and walked out of the bathroom, biting back his tears.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-17

Weeks later, Luke stood outside with his brother and their friends, waiting for the bus to pick them up for school. Noah and he had a talk and Luke told him about his relationship with this 'girl' he'd been seeing a while ago. Noah was actually very supportive and listened attentively. They ended up hugging for a long time while inhaling each other, then quickly and embarrassingly moving away from each others body before stuttering and stammering while they found something else to talk about.

On the sidewalk, Bailey was studying Alan the whole time without speaking. She had an ah-ha moment and asked, "Did you get a different haircut?" as she walked around him, admiring the short layers on the sides and the longish ones on top.

Alan smiled slightly at the attention he was receiving and nodded. Bailey hadn't been interested in holding hands with him or talking about the dance coming up tomorrow night. In fact, she'd been snubbing and avoiding him for a while. He knew he ruined a good friendship by telling her how he felt. They used to go to the diner and eat, walk around, go to movies, and hang out at his house. They'd rent movies and make popcorn and laugh. They'd been great friends, now all that was ruined.

"I think it's fab." Bailey reached up and touched it, running her fingers through his soft brown hair.

"Thanks." Alan said, trying not to get his hopes up. After the dance, he hoped they could still be friends. He'd have to learn how to lose his crush on her and act normal.

"How are you this morning?" Noah asked Luke, keeping his voice low so the others wouldn't hear.

"Better. I see hi- her a lot and I think she has a new boyfriend already." Luke responded without thinking.

"I thought you said she doesn't go to our school?" Noah asked suspiciously. "What are you trying to hide?"

"Me? Nothing at all. My mind is fucked up, I messed up. Sorry." Luke turned away.

Noah sighed with a bad feeling and turned Luke back around. "I'm the one who's sorry for bringing it up, Luke. Look, let's go to the dance tomorrow night, there's got to be nice, single girls that are going and they'll need a partner to dance with. I'll tag along with you. Hell, I'll even wear that bluish-purple ring."

Luke chuckled. "You don't have to wear it, but yea, I'll go to the dance with you."

"Cool." Noah nodded, hearing Bailey and Alan laughing uproariously. He and Luke turned to them, asking, "What's so funny?"

"Did you just ask him to go to the dance? As in a date?" Bailey laughed.

"No!" Noah said, glancing slyly at Luke. His eyes traveled down Luke's body and back up, picturing him naked. He'd seen Luke in a towel after a shower and in his sleep-shorts, but not naked. He shook his head violently. "He's my BROTHER." he said a little loudly, a little angrily, a little too forcefully, making everyone wonder why he was so adamant about it. "Forget it!" he yelled and turned away from their frowns. The truth was, he'd love to take Luke to the dance, romantically. Then take him somewhere to make out, and lastly, home. He wanted Luke, but he couldn't have him, not his brother. If Luke ever found out he liked him THAT way, that would be the end of their friendship and brotherly relationship. Luke would be grossed out and Noah was sure he'd be kicked out of the Snyder home for improper and indecent feelings for a family member.

Luke sighed. His life was hell. Noah sounded disgusted by Bailey's question. _What would be so bad if Noah and I went on a date? Nooo- that would be weird. He's my brother. He wouldn't think of me in 'that' way. He's hot and I wouldn't mind, but... yea, there's the 'brother' thing in the way._

Everyone fell silent until the bus started up their road. Luke quickly looked at Noah, took his hand and said, "It's alright. She's joking, will you still go with me to the dance- to hang out?"

A smile came forth on Noah's face. "Of course bro. I wouldn't leave you hanging." Before he knew what he was doing, he raised their clasped hands and kissed the top of Luke's. He dropped his brother's hand immediately and turned bright red. "Shit, sorry."

"It's ok." Luke chuckled and rubbed his hand where Noah's lips had been. His skin was burning and icy, hot and cold, tingly and numb at the same time. "Let's get on." Luke took a step to the curb.

Luke's mood plummeted now when he got to school. Johnny had tried several times to call him at home. He tried to talk to Luke at school too. He'd catch Johnny gazing at him longingly in geometry class, but Luke tried to avoid looking at him, however, the pull was too great. Johnny would mouth 'I'm sorry.' It was so hard for Luke to ignore him. Luke came to realize that Johnny was a poor substitute for Noah. He wanted Noah. Wanted to live, breathe and sleep Noah. His brother. _I can't do that. I can't keep lusting for Noah. I should talk to Johnny; the argument I started wasn't his fault. I was the one who was __forcing issues, not him. He was a total sweetheart to me._

"See ya later bro." Luke said to Noah, heading to his class.

Noah watched him go, watching his unique walk and his arms swinging. _Aaaah, Luke. You're one of a kind. If only you were into guys, but you're straight, not to mention being my brother! God! I need a therapist. Connie's way of life must have rubbed off on me more than I thought! Still, I can look, right? Stare, ogle, and gawk at him- as long as no one notices._

"Noah?" Bailey walked swiftly to the locker he'd just closed. Noah looked at her interestedly. She began to talk rapidly and Noah had to slow her down.

"Alan just told me that if I don't want to go to the dance with him, I don't have to!" she said in panic mode.

"You got your wish then." Noah said with a scowl. Poor Alan.

"No," Bailey said and elaborated, "I want to go with him. It's just... well... he seems so sad all the time and it brought me down so I've kinda been staying away from him."

Noah scoffed. "You really have no clue why he's 'sad'? You've known him your whole life and you really don't know? I find that hard to believe." he said in a clipped sort of way and left.

Bailey caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "Listen, I guess I do know, but dammit Noah, why can't he just talk to me in a normal way. Ever since he asked me to the dance, he's been like this. Can't you and Luke talk to him?"

"About what exactly?" Noah raised his eyebrows and took note of the time on the clock above the lockers on their right.

"I don't know!" Bailey said frustrated. "Lift his spirits somehow before tomorrow night."

"You lift them."

"Ugh! You men are all the same." Bailey flipped her hair and pouted at Noah.

"I'll tell you what you can do and I promise everything I own, which isn't much, that it will cure him and snap him out of his funk."

"What?" Bailey practically did a cheerleaders cheer.

"After we get off the bus and before he goes home, give him a little kiss on the cheek and tell him you can't wait for tomorrow night. I swear, it'll work." Noah grinned, he knew how to solve a problem. He knew how to find his way back here, back home, after all.

"What? Really? A kiss?" Bailey asked, taking a step back from Noah.

"Yes. What are you? Chicken?" Noah laughed.

"No, well, yes. I've never kissed someone before." Bailey confessed, "Actually, I've never dated before."

"You liked Alan when he was your friend, right?" Noah asked; Bailey nodded.

"Bailey, he's still the same guy."

"I suppose you're right."

"Damn straight." Noah patted her on the back. "Just do it. It'll make his whole year." he told her before he veered off in another direction.

Luke sat in his geometry class, trying to focus on Mr. G and the problems on the board, but he was distracted by a pencil being tapped on the desk a few rows to the right of him. He knew who was doing it- Johnny. It seemed as though he hadn't given up like Luke had thought. When he looked over at him, it wasn't Johnny doing it, it was a girl that was seated on the other side of him, a girl who had Johnny's attention. Luke sighed and put his head in his hand. He didn't realize his sigh was that loud until Mr. G said in a condescending way;

"Is my teaching boring you today, Mr. Snyder?" Mr. G wasn't having a good day at all. He and his wife had a newborn that had kept their household awake most of the night with its crying due to an ear infection.

Luke's head shot up. "No sir."

"Then I suggest you pay attention or go somewhere else to daydream. I don't have time for discouraged sighs and distractions in my classroom, understand?"

Luke nodded, feeling humiliated, but Mr. G wasn't done. He walked to Luke's desk and leaned down, yelling in Luke's frightened and shocked face, "I didn't hear you! I SAID, do you understand?"

"Y- Yes."

"Leave him alone. Fuck, all he did was sigh, what the hell is so wrong with that?" Johnny yelled, receiving cheers and claps from the rest of the class.

"ENOUGH!" Mr. G shouted. He'd lost control of his classroom and his cool. He said in a forced, calm manner. "Johnny, Luke, get your books and high tail it to the principal's office, now. I'll deal with you later." He gave them each a stern look then addressed the rest of the class.

Johnny took his books and left before Luke did. Luke walked to the front of the class and mumbled, "I'm sorry Mr. G." then turned and bolted for the door. He 'uuufffed' when he ran into Johnny in the hall; dropping his books on the floor. "Dammit!" Luke began to cry silently as he squatted and gathered his things.

"Luke, can-"

"We better get to the office." Luke stated in an intentional bored, dull voice as though he were reading the lunch menu on the day they had cooked carrots and peas, sloppy joes (cooked with what the students say isn't hamburger, but horse meat) and the lunch-ladies specialty, mac and cheese; with cheese that was gloppy and runny and just plain gross.

"Hey, I just want to talk. Can you give me a few? Please?" Johnny asked, a pleading look showed in his vacant eyes. Luke looked up in time to see it. He stood up and nodded, wiping his face with his hand.

"Are you crying? Luke? What's wrong?" Johnny asked, wishing he could hug Luke right now in the hall, but he couldn't chance it. The bathroom! He led Luke through the halls, returning to the place where Johnny and he had their first 'sexual' experience. He put Luke into a stall after checking for other occupants. He locked the door before turning to Luke. When he did, his heart went out to him. He pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him; hugging him and kissing his ear, then whispering into it, "Shhh. It's ok. Come on. Talk to me."

Luke shook his head.

"Ok princess, let it out then. Cry on my shoulder, I'm here for you." Johnny felt Luke's body shaking and shudder as his crying turned up in volume. He finally felt Luke hug him back and closed his eyes. "That's it, cry it out." he whispered, holding the back of Luke's head to his shoulder.

"I'm- such- a-a dumbass." Luke gasped out between his crying.

"No, you're not." Johnny disagreed. "You're a very nice, smart, attractive guy. Don't put yourself down." He moved his head back to see Luke's face. It was really red, as if he'd been holding his breath, and tears were streaking down his face. His lower lip was quivering and his eyes looked so forlorn they made Johnny want to cry too. "What is the matter?" Johnny asked, finally caressing Luke's face effortlessly- like he'd wanted to for so long.

Luke closed his eyes and just felt Johnny's fingers. Just felt them. So soft. So tender. So soothing. He stopped crying, letting those fingers take him away.

"So handsome." Johnny whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

Luke opened his eyes. "First, I want--- I want to say," he stammered, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I ignored you and didn't take your calls. I was so mean and I thought I was doing the right thing, but it wasn't and now, I don't know." Luke ran his hand through his hair several frustrated times. "Can you forgive me; I know my behavior was awful. I missed you so, so much and-"

"Of course I can." Johnny said, his eyes were truthful.

Luke met those eyes and let out a sob, then his head fell forward onto Johnny's chest.

"Oh Luke." Johnny said softly. "I care about you and it killed me that we weren't on speaking terms, but I replayed that conversation about a million times in my head. It wasn't all your fault. Most of it is me. I can't 'commit' like you want me to. I have two more years of hiding in this school. I can't have a boyfriend and at the same time date girls to throw everyone off. It's not fair to you. I know it isn't because of how you felt when I was dating Denise. It wouldn't work."

"We could try." Luke mumbled, fisting the front of Johnny's shirt.

"Maybe, I don't know." Johnny said, thinking about it.

"We wouldn't know until we try." Luke replied.

"You have a point, but what's going to happen when you get jealous? Tomorrow night I'm going to the dance."

"Alone?"

"No."

"With Denise?"

"No, a different cheerleader. Brittany." Johnny pressed his lips shut. He knew, just knew what Luke was going to say, then Boom, there it was.

Luke lifted his head. Looking worriedly into Johnny's eyes, he said anxiously, "But she's slept with every football player in the school and some say in the next town too!"

"Luke,"

"She's a slut-"

"Luke. Princess, lis-"

"How can you-"

Johnny put his finger on Luke's lips, his eyes rose to Luke's. "Luke, listen to me. I'm gay. Remember?"

"So."

"I don't want to have sex with a female. I want to have sex with a male. You... someday." Johnny said affectionately.

"Me?" Luke's voice rose as those flutters in his stomach returned at the thought of Johnny's perfect cock entering him. He felt his cock spasm involuntarily at the thought of it too.

"Sure, someday. I'm not saying tomorrow or next week. But someday. If this works out."

Luke nodded. It would be work to make their secret relationship successful.

"Whaddya say, princess. Am I worth the wait?" Johnny asked with a skewed adorable smile.

"Definitely." Luke grinned.

"Good. Now how about a kiss to new beginnings?" Johnny came close, put his hands on Luke's waist and waited for Luke's answer.

"I'd love one." Luke smiled, closing his eyes when their mouths met tenderly at first, easily becoming frantic and urgent. Their hands pulled out shirts and plucked and tweaked nipples as their tongues fought for dominance.

"Baby... baby..." Johnny pulled away, yanking on Luke's belt and watching his face for signs to stop. None showed, so he kept going, pulling Luke's jeans and boxer briefs down. "Ohhh shit. My god." His voice was excited, looking at Luke's erection. "That has got to be the most majestic thing I've ever seen." His eyes rose to Luke's face, seeing a smile.

"Glad you approve." Luke whispered.

"I do. Oh hell, do I ever." Johnny looked down. "So, what are you up for?"

"What?"

"Up for. Blow job or jacking? I have to warn you, I've never given a blow job before. I'd probably suck at it. HA! Get it? Suck at it? Damn I'm funny." Johnny laughed.

"You're funny and gorgeous." Luke palmed Johnny's cheek; feeling Johnny's fingertips caress his erection. Luke gulped, afraid he'd drool. It felt so good, he couldn't help but take Johnny's hand to place his fingers around his erection- making a fist. "Jack me. Make me cum." Luke begged. "Harder." He closed his eyes.

Johnny looked down and watched what he was doing. He'd always admired the guys' bodies in the showers. He'd peek, but not stare. He wondered what it would feel like touching another guys penis, and here he was, touching one of the handsomest male's cock in the school bathroom. He hefted it, feeling it's heaviness, enjoying the heat and thumping of it on his open palm.

"More. God more."

Johnny chuckled. Now this was power. He was in control where he liked to be. "You like it, princess?" he asked as he slowly stroked Luke twice.

"Yeeeesss" Luke hissed while squeezing his eyes tightly closed. "It's amazing."

"What if I stopped right now?" Johnny slowed his stroking and held Luke's hard cock on his open hand.

"Noooo" Luke whined and opened his eyes. "Johnny, don't make me beg."

"I should." Johnny's naughty grin made Luke go wild.

"Now, please? Johnny, come on. Don't tease me. God!" Luke moved his hips back and forth, wanting, craving the friction that would provide him with wonderful release.

"Ok." Johnny ceded and closed his hand around Luke's cock. Luke sighed with pleasure and relief. It was then that Johnny's mouth crashed to Luke's, his tongue entering his mouth forcefully.

"Ummfff" Luke tried to warn Johnny he was close due to the way the football player took over his mouth. It was sexy and hot and such a turn on. "Jo-" he tried again. Finally he tapped Johnny's shoulder and drew his head back. "I'm go- UNGGG" Luke turned at the last second, toward the toilet.

Johnny looked at Luke's face. "Jesus that was close." he said softly, still stroking Luke to finish him. Luke was continuously moaning and cumming. It was a beautiful sight to see a male cumming because of what you were doing to him. "God you're hot." Johnny said, seeing one of Luke's eyes open and look at him.

Luke let out a loud sigh and shivered. "Oh man." he panted. "Why didn't I let you do this sooner?" he chuckled, taking the toilet paper Johnny handed him.

"You're one of those old virgin spinsters and you thought I would corrupt you into becoming a nympho." Johnny snickered.

"Yea, right. Ew!" Luke made a face watching the tip of Johnny's tongue taste test the cum on his hand.

Johnny laughed and held it to Luke's face, almost pushing it to his nose. "Taste it!"

"No!" Luke grabbed Johnny's wrist and held it away. Of course Johnny was stronger, but he let Luke win. He lowered his hand and said, "It's actually not bad. I don't think I could eat the whole load though." He pulled off more toilet paper and used it to wipe his hand, then dropped it in the toilet. He watched Luke tuck his cock away and pull his pants up.

"You going to the dance?" Johnny asked, opening the latch and the door to wash his hands at the sink.

"Yea, me and my brother are going together." Luke replied, looking in the mirror and smiling as he washed his hands. _Your dick isn't a virgin anymore! It's been touched!_ he told himself.

"You can ask a girl you know."

"I know." Luke looked at Johnny in the mirror. He was looking down, washing his hands. Luke kept watching until Johnny felt Luke's stare and rose his eyes in the mirror, seeing Luke. He grinned, receiving a smile from Luke in return.

"Ready for the principal?"

"Yes."

"Lets go then." Johnny said following Luke to the door. His fingers reached out and pinched Luke on the butt. Luke jumped and began to laugh.

"Shhh."

"If you wouldn't do things like that, I wouldn't laugh." Luke explained. Johnny shook his head amused by Luke.

They were in the hall, walking together, when a football player, named Erik turned the corner and began walking toward them. "Shit." Johnny swore under his breath.

"Johnny how's it goin'." Erik asked, looking at Luke suspiciously. "Get lost loser." he said to him.

Johnny looked at Luke, who had stopped too. He drew his brows together, wondering why Luke chose to stop walking. He should have went to the principal's office alone. Unless- was Luke trying to get him in trouble with his teammate? It was unlikely, maybe Luke wasn't thinking? Whatever the case, he had to get rid of him.

"Hey princess." Johnny said in his deep voice, insulting Luke, "The Barbie party is in the cafeteria. Better change into your dress and heels. Say, do you have your dress for tomorrow night? I saw one in the store window of 'Fashions' that is screaming your name. I think the name-brand was 'Floozy for Trannies'." He winked at Luke when his teammate wasn't looking.

Luke pretended to be irked. "Shut up asshole. Sounds like that dress was made for your girlfriend. I heard a lot about her."

"Oooh ouch!" Johnny's teammate patted him on the back, saying, "You're not gonna take that from the pansy, are you?"

"He's not worth it."

"Dude! He's dissin' your girl! Look at him, you could take him in one hit!"

"Nah, gotta watch my hands, wouldn't want to break 'em on his mug and be useless for the team." Johnny said, trying hard to stay in character. With Luke around it was hard.

"My mug?" Luke taunted further. Johnny was silently telling Luke to shut up with his eyes and brows. Luke went further, "You know Johnny, I've heard jocks have small cocks." he smirked.

Erik lunged for Luke, but Johnny spoke to him. "You don't want to get suspended before the big game. Knock it off. He knows what buttons to push, don't let him get to you."

The teammate huffed and pointed to Luke. "You. If I ever see you outside of school, beware." Erik threatened before he left. Johnny watched him walk away before he turned to Luke.

"Are you stupid? I can't always stick up for you or keep my friends off you. You have to be smart Luke!"

"I'm not afraid of them, and if they were your true friends, you wouldn't be afraid of them either." Luke countered.

"I'm not afraid."

"Are too. You're afraid to come out because you think you'll get beat up."

"You're one to talk, you're not out either."

Let's drop it, asshole... calling me a floozy." Luke chuckled.

"You are." Johnny laughed, glancing at Luke.

"And that makes you a what?" Luke asked.

"A sucker for a certain hot floozy."

"Good save." Luke said, entering the school office to wait for the principal. Johnny walked in after him, but sat on the opposite end of the long bench that Luke was seated on.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 18

~~~~~~~

Bailey listened to the two brothers sitting in front of her talking and laughing on the bus ride home. Alan was staring straight ahead- his gaze never deviated to the side or down. He was stiff and looked very uncomfortable.

She was nervous. Noah had told her to kiss Alan on the cheek and say.... something..... _What was it? I forgot!_

She panicked, fidgeted and became flustered. She tapped Noah on his shoulder and leaned forward. Whispering in his ear, she asked, "What was I supposed to say to Alan after I kiss his cheek?"

Noah shrugged and turned his head to tell her in her ear, "Whatever you want."

"No, you told me what to say. What was it? Tell me." she insisted sharply in that female way to get what she wanted.

"I suggested that you say you can't wait to see him tomorrow, but you should think of something to say yourself."

Bailey whispered a thanks and sat back in her seat. Alan hadn't moved an inch. Didn't he care about her or anything anymore? She wondered and purposely, unassumingly, gently touched his arm with her own.

Alan sighed and closed his eyes. He wished she knew what she was doing to him. He really liked her; she was the only girl in the school he'd been attracted to this year. Why did she innocently do things like brush against him, touch his arm when they spoke to each other, smell so good and wear mid-thigh skirts- like the one she had on today? He kept his eyes off her intentionally and didn't speak to her. He couldn't. This dance thing was a huge mistake. He should have asked one of the girls that hadn't been asked. Surely Bailey would have been asked by someone else. She was pretty and got along with everyone in school.

The bus lurched to a stop. "This is us." Luke stood up with the other three following him. They stepped off the bus into the scent of flowers on the breeze.

"See you guys. Bye Bailey." Alan said before walking off.

"Bye." Luke and Noah said and slowly walked to the house, but before they were out of the line of sight of their friends, Noah pulled Luke back and said, "Watch."

"Watch?"

"Yea, them." he motioned with his head to Bailey and Alan.

Bailey seemed lost. "Um, wait Alan!"

Alan frowned, but stopped walking and turned around anyway.

"Come here. Please?" Bailey asked, holding her books tightly to her chest, observing Alan's mood reflecting in the way he walked. She swallowed and hoped Noah was right. She didn't want to go to the dance with him if he was going to act like this.

"Yea?" he asked softly without meeting her eyes.

"Do you still need to know what color my dress is, you know, for your handkerchief?" She asked, staring at his face. She liked his haircut, but those ugly glasses! Why would someone buy those frames unless they were blind.

"No. My parents just bought a white one. I wanted to match with your dress, but.... oh well, it's just a stupid dance." Alan scratched his neck, trying to convince himself that it WAS just a stupid, meaningless dance, but he couldn't because it meant more to him; HE was taking Bailey and that's what made it special.

"It's not stupid." Bailey countered, trying to gain the confidence to kiss him on the cheek. He did have nice cheekbones, she thought to herself.

"It sort of is." Alan replied, wishing he could look at her face, her cute button nose, her blue eyes, her bow-tie shaped lips.

"Alan-" Bailey began nervously and stepped closer to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and quickly kissed him on the cheek. "I can't wait to go with you tomorrow. See you." she said and quickly walked away.

Alan held his hand to his face where she kissed his cheek and turned around, watching her walk to her house. _Did she kiss me?_ A slow grin spread on Alan's face, then he heard Luke and Noah and cheering. "'Way to go!', 'That's it, you go man!', 'About time she made a move!'"

Alan laughed and shook his head, a little embarrassed that his friends witnessed his first sort-of kiss. It was on the cheek, but he didn't care- that counted, right? He walked home, floating on air, feeling excited about the dance again. He hoped he didn't act too oddly when he had to hold Bailey's hand and place the other on her waist when they danced tomorrow.

"That was awesome!" Luke exclaimed; his face lighting up as did his grin.

"Thank me for that. I told Bailey how to get Alan out of his mood. I hate seeing him like that. He's such a nice guy. Too bad he's straight." Noah joked, but Luke frowned. Was Noah attracted to Alan? Just the thought of Noah being attracted to **anyone** made Luke jealous. Very jealous, but he couldn't do a thing about it. Noah was going to date and go out with boys. Noah was his **brother** he shouldn't be thinking about Noah the way he had been-- like the time he pulled the shower curtain back to give Noah a towel after his shower. Luke saw his naked body in its totality. It was burned into his retinas. He'd even had dreams about Noah in that state of undress. He forced that memory from his mind and replaced it with Johnny and what happened in the bathroom today. He grinned and sighed dreamily.

"What's up. You have a silly look on your face." Noah laughed and cupped Luke's jaw and chin. "You're radiant. Did you get back together with that girl that broke up with you?"

"Yes." Luke answered.

"Oh." Noah said dejectedly and let his arm fall to his side. "So I guess you'll be taking her to the dance? You're dumping me."

"I'm not taking her. We're going together, dude." Luke playfully punched Noah on the shoulder. "You need a suit!" he said, opening the front door. "MOM!" he yelled.

"What is it and what have I told you about yelling in the house?" Lilly walked into the foyer with her arms crossed.

"Noah needs a suit for tomorrow, shoes too!" Luke exclaimed.

"Alright." she said. "I'm glad you're going to the dance, Noah. It'll give you a chance to socialize." she smiled, patting his shoulder. "Who have you asked?"

"Oh, no one." Noah reddened.

"I'm sure there will be single girls there. Don't be afraid to ask them to dance." While Lilly turned to get her purse to get Luke a credit card, Noah looked at Luke with a look of despair.

Noah's eyes rested on Lilly's back. Hesitantly, he said in an unsure tone, "Actually Lilly, I'm not going to dance with a girl." He gulped when she turned around and walked to them.

"Don't be shy Noah. All you have to do is ask someone. It's not so bad." Lilly handed Luke the card, then her attention was back on Noah, as was Luke's.

"It's not... I'm not really shy so much as... not attracted to girls." Noah said, wincing.

"That will come in time. Some boys aren't attracted to girls until they're older. It's fine, you'll catch up." she smiled brightly.

"No," Noah's breath came out heavily. "I'm not attracted to girls- females, any females. I won't EVER be. Understand?"

Lilly frowned as the pieces fell into place, then her eyes widened when the realization of Noah's words finally hit her. "OH! Oh... I see!" she really looked at Noah's face now. "I see." she said again, the shock make her brain shut down and she was at a loss for words.

"Yea." Noah licked his lips, then felt Luke's arm around his waist supportively.

"It's ok Noah. You did the right thing." Luke whispered, eyeing his mom's face. She was still struck with surprise. "Mom, he only told you that he's gay. He didn't tell you he has two months to live. Sheesh."

"Of course. I'm sorry Noah. I'm being rude." She gave him a hug that lasted a long time. "I love you honey."

Noah's heart sped up. "I love you too mom... I mean Lilly." he wished he could take the word back.

"Call me mom." Lilly grinned. "You're my son, I want you to. If you're comfortable with that?" She stepped back.

"Ok." Noah nodded, trying not to let the tears fall that were welling in his eyes.

"Holden too. Call him dad if you want. We've talked about it and he'd be proud if you did."

Noah nodded, emotions overwhelming him. He'd never felt so accepted and loved in his life. He had a family and a mom and dad and he told her he that he's gay and she didn't mind. Connie and Earl would have a fit, but what did he care about them? They weren't his family, they were people who took him away from his family.

"We better go. Mom, can you give us a ride?" Luke asked.

"Sure, let me get my keys."

When Lilly walked away, Luke's arm left Noah's waist. "That went well. I can't believe you told her! I had no idea you were going to do that, you should have told me, dickhead." Luke said softly.

"I wasn't planning on it, it sorta came out." Noah turned to Luke and smiled. "It feels so good. That was a secret that was bothering me. To keep it inside and hide myself took work. I'm glad I told her." He glanced fondly at Lilly. "But I know you can't relate to how it feels to let that go. It's freeing and the burden is gone. I feel like I can fly."

"I can relate. There are secrets that I've let out recently."

"Oh? Like what?"

"I can't say." Luke replied; Noah laughed.

"You can't tell me the secrets you've told other people. What kind of freeing experience is that?"

"I told one person. No one else. It was freeing and I felt good, but I can't tell anyone else." He was referring to the time  
he told Johnny he was gay.

"Not even your brother, huh? That sucks." Noah pushed Luke with his strong shoulder. Luke had to step to his right or risk falling.

"Ass." Luke mumbled with a chuckle.

"Ok boys, get in the car." Lilly said, holding her keys and putting the strap of her purse on her shoulder. "I'll drop you off and Noah can call on his cell phone when you want to be picked up.

"Can we stay in town and have dinner too?" Luke asked with his face hopeful.

Lilly thought a moment, then nodded. "That's fine, but don't stay out too late."

"We won't." Noah replied with a smile.

Luke and Noah walked around town for a bit before they entered the men's store. Suits in all colors and sizes were on racks everywhere to the right. On the left were slacks, expensive jeans, shirts and dress shirts.

"Holy shit!" Noah looked around, overwhelmed. "How do we do this?"

"We get a guy to measure you first." Luke said and raised his hand to get the attention of a male worker, who immediately saw them. He walked over to Luke and Noah with a smile and greeted them.

"Mr. Snyder, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"Hi Michael. How are you? This is my brother Noah. He needs a suit for tomorrow night."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Snyder." Michael shook Noah's hand.

"I'm not... just call me Noah." Noah smiled.

"Noah it is." Michael stated, taking him by the arm to the platform to measure him. When he was done, he asked, "Lets take a look around. I can show you what we have in your size." They walked to the young mans section. Michael scanned the area and walked to a rack. "What color are you looking for?"

"Pink!" Luke said loudly and laughed.

"Dork." Noah said and stood next to Michael. "I'm not sure. Wow, there's so many shades of black."

"Do you like black?" Michael asked.

"Get black Noah, you'll match me." Luke suggested.

"I don't want to get the same black as you, we'll look ridiculous."

"I agree." Michael nodded. "Mr. Snyder got the richest color black that we have the last time he needed a suit, if I remember correctly."

"That's right." Luke replied.

"Ok." Noah said, "That narrows it down."

Michael asserted, "If you don't mind my saying, I think you should take a few pairs of pants to the dressing room, try them on and pick the one that best suits you and has the best fit. I can be of help when you come out. I'll check the fitting for you."

"Ok. Let's do that." Noah answered, sure he'd find the suit that flattered him.

"I'll get a dress shirt." Luke said, walking to the other side of the store.

Luke returned with a shirt that was a beautiful color of green. He saw Michael outside dressing room number three. "Is Noah in there?"

"Yes. He's waiting for the shirt." Michael stated.

Luke knocked on the door. "It's me. I have the perfect shirt for you."

Noah opened the door a little bit and stuck his hand out. Luke shook his head and pushed his way into the large dressing room; mirrors were on the walls and the pants Noah was to try on were hanging on several hooks. His regular clothes were folded neatly on the bench that was against one wall. Noah was wearing a pair of light colored black slacks.

"Hey!" Noah exclaimed.

"Dude, I'm your brother. I've seen you naked already, what's the problem?"

"Nothing." Noah said, thinking he initially saw something in Luke's eyes when he came in.

"Good, now try this color on." He handed the shirt to Noah, who put it on and tucked it in.

"Well?" Noah asked, turning to see himself in the mirror.

"I love the color of the shirt, but not so much the color of slacks and they're too baggy in the butt." Luke stared. "They should be tighter."

"Ok." Noah shrugged, having no experience wearing or fitting into a suit. He figured Luke knew what he was talking about. His hand rested on the clasp of the slacks, waiting for Luke to turn away.

"What are you waiting for? Christmas? Get a move on slowpoke." Luke slapped Noah on the butt; Noah jumped.

_Shit! If he does that again, I'm gonna get a hard on!_ Noah thought to himself and quickly undressed, standing in his boxer briefs and the green shirt. "Hand me another pair." he said, handing Luke the pair he'd had on.

"Noah?" Michael asked over the door. "I have a customer. If you're ok, I'm going to help him. I'll be back."

"No prob. We got it covered in here." Luke answered, sifting through the slacks Michael had brought in. "Here's a nice color." Luke said, giving the slacks to Noah. He watched Noah slide them on, pull them up and zip them. He stood behind Noah and looked into the mirror, over his brother's shoulder to see how he looked. He stared at Noah's crotch. "No, too loose in the front. I hate pleats like that. You gotta show what you got, dude."

Noah gave Luke a crazy look in the mirror before he laughed. "Alright, get me another pair." he unbuttoned and unzipped, thinking Luke had gone to the slacks to pick another pair. He bent over; his butt coming in contact with Luke's groin. He gasped and quickly stood up. Turning around, he asked, "What are you doing?"

"I was-" Luke licked his lips, thinking he could still feel Noah's ass on his cock. It was beginning to grow, but he willed it down.

"Was what?" Noah asked, feeling warm all over.

"Just checking the fit in the back." Luke lied, embarrassed. He had been spaced out, watching Noah undo his pants. Mesmerized to the spot, staring in the mirror. "Sorry." Luke mumbled and went to the wall, choosing a darker shade of black slacks. He took the ones Noah took off and gave him a pair he was sure would fit better.

He stared at Noah's long, lean, yet muscular legs; pressing his lips together. He saw a brief peek of his boxers again when Noah lifted his shirt to button his slacks, then he wondered what Noah's cock looked like when it was hard. Was it thick? Big?

"What do you think?" Noah asked, turning around and looking over his shoulder at his backside. "Pretty good in my opinion."

Luke dropped his thoughts and eyed the slacks. "Those are the ones. You look-" He closed his mouth and looked away, searching through the slacks on the hanger, pretending to look so he wouldn't stare.

"I look how?" Noah asked curiously.

"I was going to say you look— good. You'll catch a lot of looks with those pants. You should try on the jacket, and get a tie too." Luke said to the wall.

Noah came close to Luke and massaged his shoulders. "Are you ok? You seem different."

"I'm fine." Luke answered, enjoying the touch. Too much. "I better get Michael to find the matching jacket. Take those pants off so I can take them with me."

Noah backed away and pushed them down. "Should I put my jeans back on... or-"

"No, you'll have to put these back on to see the whole ensemble." Luke turned around to see Noah adjusting his underwear. _Damn!_ Luke gaped. Unfortunately, Noah turned around and bent over to get something in his jeans pocket. Luke was drawn to him and stepped close. He purposely pretended to trip; bumping into Noah's backside.

"Shit!" Noah said as he bumped his head into the wall. "Watch it klutz." he chuckled, feeling Luke's body on his, then the brush of Luke's hand across his ass. He waited for Luke to get off him and when he finally did, Noah stood up and turned around, rubbing his head. "I better not have a bruise. I don't want to look like I got beat up tomorrow.

"I'm sorry. I should have watched my footing." Luke's face was as red as a beet. He'd gotten a good feel and liked it, but he also felt dirty for copping a feel on his brother. _What is wrong with me! I'm such a pervert! I wish there was someone I could talk to, I shouldn't be feeling this way about him. He's family, not some random guy!_ As fast as he could, Luke left the dressing room and found Michael.

While Luke and Michael were looking for the matching jacket, Noah had taken a seat on the bench next to his clothes. He controlled his breathing, had to before Luke came back. His body was tingling all over because of the contact with Luke. _I can't--- shouldn't be reacting like this to him. Why am I attracted to him like this? I have to stop thinking about him. I have to find someone to date, but how? How __can I find someone? I can't ask Luke who's out. I should ask Alan, he'd know if anyone is. That's a good idea. Find someone to take my __mind off Luke. A distraction._

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter-19

"You look very handsome Noah." Lilly said, looking at her son in the suit he had on. "Is Luke coming down or is he perfecting his look?" she smiled, brushing a stray hair off his jacket.

"He's finishing up." Noah said, his stomach was in a bundle of nerves.

"Oh, there he is now." Lilly peered around Noah, seeing Luke coming into the kitchen. "You're very handsome too."

"Aw, thanks mom." Luke didn't look at her, his eyes were focused on Noah. "You look good." he said to his brother.

"You clean up well too." Noah patted Luke on the back. "Ready?"

"You bet." Luke grinned. Lilly kissed him on the cheek, then Noah. Holden walked in and said, "Hold up boys. On the stairs. I want a photo or a few."

Luke and Noah groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Get going." Lilly laughed.

Once Luke and Noah were posed on the stairs, Holden took their picture and brought up the time they were young and dressed up to be 'married'.

Noah chuckled and said, "We ARE going to the dance together, maybe you should wear a dress Luke."

"Shut your mouth. Maybe you should wear one." Luke countered with a grin, then whispered, "You are gay, you'd look better in a dress. You have the legs for it." he laughed.

"You ass." Noah whispered back, smiling.

"Smile again. I don't think that one turned out. And get closer to each other, you don't have germs." Holden raised the camera again, seeing Luke and Noah put their arms around each others shoulders. They smiled for the camera... more than a few times, then finally, they were free to go; Holden drove them to the school.

Bailey smoothed her knee length, baby blue, satin dress before she slipped on her dyed high heels. She checked her hair in the mirror by the door. Her mother fixed the curls in the back; the salon had fixed her hair in an updo earlier in the day. "Mom, I'm scared. What if Alan doesn't talk to me. What if he doesn't want to dance? What if I trip in these heels? What if I spill punch on my dress?"

"Sweetheart, you'll be fine. Relax. Alan is your friend and he'll take care of you." her mom smirked. This was her daughters first dance. She was growing up so fast. "Don't forget, I want to take pictures before you leave. How are you getting there?"

"His dad is taking us and picking us up. God, I'm so nervous." Bailey turned and hugged her mom when the doorbell rang.

"Good luck baby." she kissed Baileys cheek. "If only your father were here to see you, god rest his soul. He'd be so proud of you." Her mom said with tears in her eyes, cupping her daughters rouge colored cheeks. Her mom helped her put on a minimum amount of make up and she looked older than her 16 years, but not by much. "Answer the door, you don't want to keep your date waiting.

"It's not really a date, we're just going together." Bailey whispered to her mom before she opened the door.

"Hi Bailey." Alan said, getting her attention.

She turned and tilted her head. "Who.... Alan?"

"Come in Alan." Bailey's mother said, laughing at her daughters reaction. She then left to get the camera she left on the kitchen counter. She waited a few moments to allow them to talk before she walked back in.

Alan stepped in with a clear plastic container holding a white orchid with a white silk ribbon attached to it. With shaky fingers, he opened it and took out the corsage.

"Alan-" Bailey said, holding her arm out so he could tie it to her wrist. "It's a beautiful flower." She couldn't take her eyes off his face. "Where are your glasses?" she asked, coming to realize he was handsome and not nerdy looking.

Alan looked up; his eyes a rare and exotic shade of indigo. "I got contacts the other day. Do I look weird?"

"Not at all. You got colored ones?" Bailey asked, nearing Alan to see.

"No, just clear." He stated with uncertainty. Did she like them or not. He wished she'd say.

"I've never noticed the color of your eyes before. I mean, I knew they were blue, but not that blue. I like you in contacts; you look- really good." she said, her lip twitched into a smile. Now she really was nervous. This was Alan, her friend, but he looked so different. He was good looking. _He's still the same person I've known my whole life, but holy smokes he is smokin' hot._

Alan felt so good at the compliment. It raised his self esteem. He was fine around Luke and Noah and others at school, but around Bailey, he felt he wasn't up to her standards ever since he'd asked her to the dance. He and she were fine when they were friends, but this was a new level. The beginning of a different relationship; he hoped.

Alan's eyes traveled up and down her body and smiled. "You look beautiful Bailey. Thank you for agreeing to go with me."

"Hey, anything for a friend." she eyed his suit and how it fit on him. Was this really Alan? Lovable, dorky, ugly glasses and goofy Alan?

"Alright you two. Time for pictures. I'll be sure to send some to your parents Alan."

Noah stood on the side of the gymnasium with Luke; looking at the balloons and streamers decorating the gymnasium. He noted with a smirk. "Looks like a birthday party threw up in here."

Luke was distracted by looking for Johnny. He either wasn't there yet or he was dancing in the crowd of people.

"Hey, are you listening?"

"Yea- you said you feel like throwing up." Luke said absentmindedly.

"No!" Noah laughed. "Who are you checking out?' he squinted his eyes, looking into the crowd of dancing couples. "Is she here?"

"She?"

"Dude, focus." Noah tapped Luke on the arm, drawing his attention. "The girl you've been seeing on and off. Is she here?"

"No." Luke shook his head, looking at Noah's face. "You do look really handsome. For a guy I mean."

"Thanks." The side of Noah's mouth rose in a half smile. "You look good too- for a guy."

"Shut up, ass." Luke grinned and turned back to the crowd. "I wonder when Alan and Bailey are coming. They should be here by now."

Noah whistled low. "Look to your left."

Luke's mouth dropped open, seeing Bailey, but Alan is what attracted him. "That's not... is it?"

"Alan. Wow. Where are the glasses? Look at him all dressed up- he looks like a totally different guy! He's hot." Noah commented on Alan's looks. "Bailey is a very lucky girl."

"Hi Luke and Noah." Bailey grinned, her arm hooked possessively with Alan's.

"Hello." Luke said, staring at his friends.

"Hi." Noah said. "Bailey, you look gorgeous and Alan, you got it going on." He gang fisted Alan's fist.

"Thanks." Alan said softly with a smile. He knew he looked nice, but he wasn't used to all the attention and comments.

"Who would have known a haircut, contacts and a suit would transform you into a stud." Luke smiled, happy that Alan appeared proud.

"Alright, that's enough hitting on my date." Bailey laughed before realizing she'd said the word 'date'.

Alan's chest puffed out. Date!

"Do you want to dance?" Bailey asked him.

"Sure." They began heading out to the middle of the gym when a cheerleader stopped them.

She looked at Alan and asked in a flirtatious voice, "Are you new at this school?"

Alan snickered and said, "No."

"Bug off." Bailey said nastily.

"Relax Bailey, I only want to ask this hunk for the next dance. What do you say, sweetie?"

Bailey spoke before Alan could. "Leave my man alone. He's not interested in some shallow cheerleader. If you hadn't noticed, he's MY date and he's not dancing with anyone else, got it Brittany?"

"Take it easy. Let him answer for himself." Brittany winked at Alan. "What about it? Would you dance with me, handsome?"

"I don't think so Brittany." Alan stated, grabbing Bailey's hand. "I'm in love with Bailey and have eyes only for her."

Bailey gasped, stared at the side of Alan's face. Love? Was he just saying that to get rid of the slutty cheerleader? She wanted to know.

"Let's go." Alan said leading her to the edge of the crowd. He faced her and gently put his hands on her waist. She put her hands on his shoulders and they began to dance to the slow music.

"Did you mean that?" Bailey asked with her eyes locked on Alan's.

"Mean what?" Alan smiled slyly, knowing what she was talking about.

"What you said to that slut."

"Yes. I honestly don't want to dance with her."

"No you... I mean about... forget it." Bailey shook her head. She couldn't ask him.

"Yes I meant it, but I don't expect the feeling to be returned. I've had feelings for you a long time. I just couldn't tell you because I didn't want to be rejected. I guess I didn't mind letting it out tonight."

Bailey stepped closer and laid her head on his shoulder.

Since Brittany was off somewhere, probably with the other cheerleaders, Johnny searched for Luke. He saw him with Noah on the sidelines. He could approach them, right? Noah wouldn't dare start a fight at the school dance. He'd have to adjust and ease his tone when he talked to Luke. He walked to the pair of brothers, trying not to smile at the gorgeous sight of his... his what? Playmate? Johnny chuckled to himself at that thought and immediately became serious when Noah addressed him.

"What do you want?"

"To talk to the princess." Johnny said to Noah, then rested his eyes on Luke. "Thought you'd be wearing a silky red gown with a pair of heels." he smirked at Luke.

"Nope." Luke answered soberly. "I didn't want to clash with your gown, but you must have left it at home. Couldn't fill out the bust huh?"

"Get lost." Noah said, pushing Johnny away.

"Noah, I don't need protection." Luke said with a trace of anger directed toward his brother. "I'm good. I'm not afraid of anyone in this school. Let me deal with it or I'll look like a wuss."

"I just have a geometry question for him Noah. I promise, I won't beat him up." Johnny said to Noah.

"Right." Noah said, disbelieving Johnny's statement.

"Noah, just give us a moment. Please?" Luke implored.

"Later." Noah said and walked off. He wanted to talk to Alan anyway.

"I can't talk to you in here. Too many people. Can you meet me somewhere?" Johnny asked.

"Sure, where?" Luke smiled.

"Dude, don't smile. We're enemies in here." Johnny looked around. "How about outside?"

"Ok. You go first and I'll come out in a few."

"Good, see you-- and princess? You look damn good in a suit, but I bet even better out of it." Johnny wiggled his eyebrows before he left the gym.

Alan felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around. "Oh hey Noah." He and Bailey stopped dancing. Noah came close and asked if he could talk to him for a minute, then decided Bailey might know the answer to his question too. "Both of you actually." Noah corrected himself.

They walked to where Luke had been. Noah looked around, worried that Johnny had said something hurtful to Luke. _No, he said he could handle himself. I trust him._

He addressed both Bailey and Alan. "I need some help."

"Sure anything." Bailey's hand found Alan's and held it; Alan grinned.

"I'm-- I'm gay." Noah whispered.

"No way!" Bailey exclaimed.

"Whoa!" Alan stared at Noah. "Does Luke know?"

"Yea. Are you two cool with this?' Noah asked apprehensively.

"We don't have a problem." Alan answered.

"Cool, I want to find someone. You know, to ask to dance. I don't know many people in school yet, so I don't know who's 'out'. Do you know anyone?"

Bailey looked at Alan. "There's Gary."

"No way!" Alan shook his head. "Pimples and greasy hair, not to mention he's a freshman and gets teased all the time. Think of someone confident." Alan ran through all the grades in his mind. "Oh! What about Randy?"

"Randy who?" Bailey asked, thinking.

"Senior. Tall, dark hair, brown eyes. Cute... for a guy." Alan said to her.

"Oh. No... his name is Andy."

"That's right!" Alan laughed.

"Is he here?" Noah asked. "I want to see what he looks like. Or is he dating?"

"I don't know if he's dating," Bailey said looking around. "and I don't know if he's here."

"There!" Alan pointed to the punch and finger foods tables. "He's getting a glass of punch. In the white tux. Who wears a white tux to a school function?"

"Who cares." Noah said, wishing the guy would turn around so he could check him out. "He went really formal and I bet he looks better than anyone here."

"Not better than Alan." Bailey said in Noah's ear. Noah chuckled but stopped when Andy turned around and gazed at the crowd.

"Does he have friends?" Noah asked. "Hoping Andy wasn't a 'loner'.

"Yea, he's got quite a few." Bailey answered. "Every time I see him in the hallway, he's with three or four of them."

Noah saw two other guys walk up to Andy and begin talking to him. Alan was right, he was cute. He had a nice smile and features.

Bailey noticed Noah was staring in Andy's direction. She nudged Alan, wanting him to say something.

Alan cleared his throat and nodded at Bailey. He looked at Noah and suggested, "Go over there and ask him to dance or something. Who cares if two guys are dancing. Andy is out, sort of popular and a senior, no one is gonna mess with you two."

Noah nodded and took a step, but turned and asked, "Is my tie straight, do I look ok? Is my hair good?"

Bailey straightened his tie. "There, you're all beautiful. Get your butt over there." She turned him and gently pushed his back, ushering him away.

She and Alan went back to the dance floor, talking about how they never would have guessed Noah was gay.

"Is that you?" Johnny asked, hiding behind a bush.

"Johnny? Where are you?" Luke looked around.

Johnny stood up. "Here. Let's go around the building, where we made out before. We'll be away from the cars pulling up and parking." He walked away.

Luke followed, making sure no one was watching. They rounded the corner and embraced. "You look so good." Johnny stated before he kissed Luke's neck, right above the collar of his shirt.

"You look good too." Luke said, admiring the charcoal suit and deep red colored shirt Johnny was wearing.

"Mmmm" Johnny hummed, reaching his hands inside Luke's suit jacket to wrap his arms around Luke's waist. Luke raised his arms, placing his forearms on Johnny's shoulders, his hands playing in the blond hair on the nape of his neck.

"Kiss me, princess." Johnny ordered.

Luke pressed his lips to Johnny's, tasting the punch that the school offered as a refreshment. Smiling and kissing, he moved in so there was no space between them.

Bailey and Alan were situated so they could keep an eye on Noah. He was walking slowly, hesitantly, maybe even fearfully towards the table.

"You're sure Andy is gay?" Bailey asked.

"Yes," Alan eyed Noah. "I'm sure Bailey-Bear. Um, Bailey." He looked at her to see if she'd heard the name he called her whenever he fantasized about her. In his fantasies, she liked him a lot and seduced him, crawling all over his body while she kissed him aggressively.

"Bear?" she giggled. "That's so cute."

"Sorry, it's something that slipped out."

"I like it." She said, looking into Alan's eyes. Since she had heels on, she was almost his height. "You can call me Bailey-Bear anytime."

Alan turned his head and cleared his throat. Again, he'd been embarrassed, but Bailey liked the name. He had to concentrate on that instead of having blurted it out and worrying about what she thought.

"Look! Noah's at the table." Bailey said excitedly.

Noah was at the table, but looking down at the food, afraid to raise his head and look at Andy. His hand hovered, about to pick up a cracker with shrimp and cream cheese on it and decided not to. He didn't want his breath to smell like seafood when he talked to Andy. He picked up the ladle out of the punch bowl, poured the red juice into the cup and brought it slowly to his mouth. He turned his body slightly, glancing at Andy and his friends. His friends were talking about their dates and offered Andy to dance with their girlfriends so he didn't feel out of place. He politely declined, stating he was going to hang out and watch for a while, but that maybe later he'd take them up on the offer. His friends walked away to find their dates.

_It's now or never!_ Noah thought and set his cup down. "Uh," he said, then his mind went blank. Luckily Andy hadn't heard him over the music.

Noah turned to the crowd. Bailey and Alan pointed to Andy with smiles on their faces. Noah rose his hand halfway and waved at them before he looked down and sighed.

"Don't have a date?" A kind voice reached his ears.

Noah's head rose and looked at Andy. Was he talking to him? "What?" he asked curiously.

"I asked, 'Don't you have a date?' You've been standing here for a while, scoping out the crowd." Andy turned back to the crowd.

"No, I came with my brother." LAME! Noah shook his head.

"Don't feel bad. I came with my friends and their dates. It's no big deal." Andy leaned his butt on the table and crossed his arms.

Noah nodded. He didn't know what to say now. He bobbed his head in time with the music, wondering if he should just leave. Moments later, Andy pushed himself off the table.

"Later." Andy began to walk away.

"Uh, wait." Noah said loudly.

Andy turned around, "Yea?"

"I'm Noah. Noah Mayer." He stuck out his hand with a friendly smile.

"Andrew Hutchinson. Most people call me Andy." he said, shaking Noah's sweaty hand.

"Sorry." Noah mumbled when Andy took a napkin from the table and wiped his hands.

"No biggie. It is hot in here." He looked at Noah, wondering why he called him back.

"Yea, it is." Noah agreed, biting his lip. He felt faint. Why did he think he could ask a senior to dance?

"Ok, well-"

"Do you want to dance?" Noah blurted unexpectedly, astonishing himself, before Andy could walk away again.

"What?" Andy turned his whole body to Noah, inquiring, "Did you just ask me to dance?" His brows were drawn together with wonder.

"I-- I oh god. I'm sorry. I was told you were... I wanted... shit. I-- I'm sorry." Noah stuttered. Why did he listen to Bailey and Alan? They didn't have a clue who was gay and who wasn't.

"Thought I was what, Noah? Someone you know told you I was gay? Are you?" Andy questioned with his head cocked to the side.

Noah stared at Andy's black bow tie, holding his breath and nodded.

"You are?"

"Yes." Noah whispered, dropping his gaze. "I'm sorry I assumed you were. My friends were sure you were. I'll set them right."

Andy lifted Noah's face with his hand placed under his chin. "Don't bother. How old are you?"

"16, I'm a sophomore." Noah said, looking into chestnut brown eyes.

"Hm" Andy said, letting Noah's chin go. "Alright, we'll be the first to start something new and original. Two males dancing together at a school dance." he grinned at Noah.

"Er, you might want to be aware that I haven't come 'out'." Noah said ashamedly. "So if you don't want--"

"Nonsense. What else am I going to do? Stand on the side and watch everyone have fun? No thanks. This will be like your coming out party. Balloons, streamers, party goers. Just for you."

Noah chuckled. "That's one way of looking at it."

"You have a nice laugh." Andy said, turning to the crowd. "Let's boogie!" he called over his shoulder to Noah.

Noah followed close behind. They ended up near Andy's friends and danced to the fast, upbeat music. They got some weird looks, mostly from the football team. Noah more than Andy. He could hear them laughing and the word 'fag'.

"Ignore them." Andy said close to Noah's ear. Noah nodded and blocked out their jeers.

Bailey and Alan saw Noah and Andy dancing, but they wondered where Luke went.

Around the corner outside, Luke and Johnny could barely contain themselves. "I want to leave. Take you somewhere and take your clothes off." Johnny said as he ran his hands up and down Luke's waist. "You're so sexy."

"Shhhit..." Luke moaned. "I'd love to see you naked. Very naked."

"Can we go?" Johnny asked, nibbling on Luke's ear. "Lets leave- go somewhere."

Luke chuckled, his ear tickled and the suggestion made him blush. "I can't. My friends and brother would wonder where I went."

"Who fucking cares. I want you. I want you so bad. Feel my cock. Babe, it's so hard for you." Johnny pressed himself against Luke, pressing Luke to the brick wall.

"Johnny- aaahh" Luke moaned. The pressure of Johnny's cock against his hard one was tough to walk away from, but he'd been out here too long already.

"Come on princess. We can come back and no one will be none the wiser."

"No." Luke shook his head. "I wish we could, but I can't leave."

"God, why do you have to be so sensible." Johnny asked frustrated, yet, grateful for Luke's thoughtfulness. "My friends would wonder where I went without Brittany too." He brought his hands up and cupped Luke's face. "It's so hard to think clearly when I'm around you. You make me crazy. I-- I think I'm really falling for you."

Luke opened his mouth, shocked.

"Please, don't say a word. I wanted to let you know how serious I am about you. You've become so important to me. I don't ever want to let you go." Johnny admitted sincerely.

"Johnny, I really like you too." Luke kissed his cheek.

"I wish we didn't have to hide who we are from everyone so we could be open about our feelings, but it's better this way, for both of us." Johnny said, squeezing Luke's butt. "Someday I'm gonna get you in the sack, princess."

"I believe it." Luke laughed. "So, Brittany huh?"

"Yep. She's a good cover. I mean obviously I won't sleep with her, but the guys will think I have, thus, I'm straight."

Luke nodded. "That **is** a good cover. I'm going in first. I guess I'll see you inside with Brittany."

"Don't be jealous." Johnny wrapped his arms around Luke possessively. "You know you're the only girl for me." He chuckled.

"I'll be anything you want me to be." Luke said honestly.

"Would you be willing to meet somewhere tomorrow? I can bring whatever we need in order to-- you know." Johnny tightened his hug.

"Maybe." Luke said thinking about what he had to do on Saturday. "I can let you know."

"Do that. I want to feel your cock in me. I've been thinking about it and that's what I want. Is that ok with you?"

"Umm yes." Luke was wowed that this big, muscular football player was willing to bottom. He would have never guessed. "That's cool, but stop talking about it. I have to get rid of this erection before I go inside and poke someone's eye out." he laughed.

"You can poke me." Johnny laughed, kissing Luke once again. "Ok, go now." He said and spanked Luke's butt once. "Later princess."

"See ya my knight in shining armor." Luke teased with a lopsided grin.

Johnny joked, "Smart ass."

"Asshole." Luke walked away, laughing.

Johnny watched Luke walk away. He longed to be with him. Him and no one else- ESPECIALLY a girl. God, how did he get into this situation? He wondered, watching Luke's ass move and sway as he neared the lit up area at the front of the school. He felt increasingly attracted to Luke and frustrated that he couldn't show it anywhere because it was a secret, but like he told Luke, it had to be this way. Didn't it?

~~~~~~

"Thanks for the dances." Andy smiled at Noah. "Maybe I'll catch up to you later?"

"Great!" Noah grinned. He'd had a blast, dancing three dances with Andy. Noah walked back to the table and got a new cup of punch. He downed that and took a napkin to wipe his wet forehead. He was out of breath and hot. He turned around and saw Luke standing next to Bailey and Alan on the side, near the bleachers that were stacked into the wall. He headed over there, glancing at Andy talking to his friends.

"Hi Noah." Alan grinned. "How was the dance?"

"Wonderful. Thanks guys." Noah said to Bailey and Alan.

"Who did you dance with?" Luke asked putting a hand into his pocket.

"Andy Hutchinson, the senior in the white tux." Noah smiled proud that he'd danced with a senior.

"What?" Luke said loudly with jealousy.

"Yea, I asked him to dance and he said yes. We danced for three songs and he said he'd look me up later for another one." Noah answered, glancing at Andy again. Luke looked too, frowning at the good looking senior.

_I shouldn't be jealous. I have a guy, Noah should too. I can't be with Noah intimately so I suppose this works out._

"Good for you." Luke said with a smile and in a tone he didn't really feel. He looked away from Noah, Bailey and Alan and saw Brittney's face light up. She ran to the doors of the gym, screaming, "Johnny! There you are. I missed you." Johnny smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

Luke could hear his friends and brother talking, but about what, he didn't know- all he could think about was Johnny, whom he kept in is sight. He watched his every move when he took Brittney to the crowd to dance. Brittney wrapped her arms around Johnny, pressing her body against him, then to Luke's dismay, he saw her kiss him full on the lips. Johnny didn't move away, most likely because his friends were near him; patting him on the back and egging the pair on. Brittany raised her leg, wrapping it around Johnny's leg and bumped her sex against his hip. Johnny knew the cheerleader's actions would make Luke jealous and angry. He quickly glanced at Luke to see if he was watching. He was.

Luke turned away, missing the apologetic look on Johnny's face. Luke was discouraged and an uneasy feeling of distrust for Johnny's date made him suspicious of what would happen later tonight.

"That skank is so disgusting." Bailey said with a look of repulsion directed at Brittney. "She tried to pick up Alan before. Now look at that display of sluticism." She laughed at the made up word.

Alan put his arm around Baileys shoulders when he scooted closer. "You're pretty funny tonight."

"I'm always funny." Bailey said, turning to look at Alan. She suddenly became serious and puckered her lips, nearing Alan to kiss him.

"Let me." Alan whispered with his heart beating out of control. "I'm the guy."

Bailey smiled. "I've been waiting since we got here, wondering if you were going to do anything. Come on boy." She curled her index finger at him.

"Wait, you won't think it's weird- since we're friends?" Alan asked.

"We won't find out until we kiss." Bailey said, initiating the kiss again.

Luke and Noah looked away, not wanting to make their friends think they were staring.

Alan held the sides of Bailey's head gently so he wouldn't mess up her hair. He tilted his head and met her lips in a tender kiss. He felt sparks on his lips from her soft ones. He almost expected her to push him away, but to his happiness, she came closer.

"You're staring at someone intensely. Who?" Noah asked Luke, seeing a discouraged expression on his face.

"No one." Luke said through clenched teeth; he made fists that were clenched tight as well. Seeing Brittney kissing Johnny's neck and cheek and rubbing his ass with her hands put him in a rage. Why didn't Johnny tell her to cool it? Luke felt used. He and Johnny had been in that position, literally, not more than ten minutes ago.

"Don't lie to me." Noah said, taking one of Luke's hands and pulling his fingers out of their curled up position. He threaded his through Luke's and held on.

"Ok, I'm jealous. Alright? My... whatever... is here and dancing with someone." Luke's eyes snapped to Noah's. "How's that for honesty?"

"Sorry." Noah said, shocked that Luke yelled at him.

"No, I am." Luke turned his head, saw Alan and Bailey break apart and giggle.

"Dance with me." Luke pulled Noah to the space near Johnny and his slut.

"Wait, Luke." Noah paused. "Are you sure? People might think you're..."

"What, that I'm your brother? I am." Luke replied snarkily. He knew Noah was insinuating that people might think he was 'gay' too. "Who cares if we dance together?" Luke asked. A slow, sexy song started and the lights were dimmed a little more.

"This is just wrong." Noah asserted. "This is a romantic couples dance."

Luke put his hands on Noah's shoulders and began to sway back and forth. "I don't care. We are a couple. Two brothers, right bro?" Luke smiled, not intentionally to be sexy, but that's how it came off.

Noah swallowed. He was afraid to touch Luke because of the way he felt about him. He did it anyway. Slowly, he put his hands on Luke's hips, barely touching him. They moved simultaneously, dancing together.

Luke heard a loud laugh, an annoying one and recognized it was Brittney's. He saw her trying to reach down the front of Johnny's pants. Johnny was stepping away and shaking his head, then he looked up and saw Luke's face. Again, Johnny was going to mouth 'sorry' to Luke, but Luke conveniently turned his and Noah's bodies the other way.

Johnny sighed, wanting to talk to Luke, to reassure him, but when Luke turned away, he knew no amount of apologies would help. He was appalled when he watched Luke rest his head on Noah's shoulder- his face buried in Noah's neck. What was Luke doing? Why would he do that to his brother? It looked weird.

"Aw, look at the fag brothers. How gross!" Brooks said, his girl by his side. "Is he kissing his neck?"

"Ugh!" his date said. "They're brothers and are dancing together? Sick!"

Luke and Noah broke apart. "Got a problem with me dancing with my brother?"

"Yea Noah. I do. It's fucked up." Brooks scowled and looked at Luke and Noah with a nauseated look- one that matched his girlfriend's expression.

"It's repulsive." she said with her mouth contorted into an ugly sneer.

"Go away and leave us alone. It's a fucking dance Brooks. Get over it." Noah snarled.

"Leave us alone asshole. This is none of your business." Luke joined in. "Unless you want to make it your business? Let's go outside and resolve this."

"Another time. I'm in my good suit." Brooks said menacingly before walking away with his girl.

Luke took a glance at Johnny, seeing that he was keeping an eye on him, but that didn't settle Luke's thoughts. In fact, when he and Noah began to dance to the slow music again, he heard Brittney say to Johnny, "Let's go to the point and get naked- I want you Johnny."

"Not now." Johnny said sternly, keeping his eyes on Luke.

"Baby, honey." Brittney's voice sounded like sticky syrup. "I want you to fuck me good and hard. You are SO gonna get laid."

Luke's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened with hurt. Johnny shook his head at Luke, slightly, so no one would think he was communicating with him.

Luke mouthed 'fuck you' and snuggled into Noah, hiding his eyes and the tears that he wouldn't let fall. Noah felt Luke's body jerking, knowing he was trying not to cry. He rubbed Luke's back and pressed his head against Luke's head. "It's ok. Don't let Brooks or your ex girlfriend get under your skin. Whatever is bothering you, bro, let me handle it."

Luke sighed, Noah felt Luke's chest rise and fall, then Luke nodded on Noah's shoulder.

"Good." Noah smiled, now stand up on your own, you're heavy and I can't hold you all night." He teased.

Luke looked up. His tears hadn't fallen, but they were in his eyes, making them look glassy. Noah's face showed genuine concern. "I'd do anything to protect you, you know that, right?"

Luke tried to chuckle. "No, I'm the one who should be protecting you. I left you alone and you disappeared. I took too long. I asked for cookies to share with you because I was hungry. I should have come back outside right away, after I washed my hands."

"Luke, don't carry that burden with you. You were five. Let it go, besides, I'm back and I'm ok." Noah replied squeezing Luke's shoulder.

"We'll see. I have to forgive myself." Luke said more to himself than to Noah. He took a peek at Johnny again. If he wasn't into Brittney, why was he STILL dancing sensuously with her? Why didn't he tell her to stop acting like a sleaze? _He should be talking with her on the sidelines, not dancing! I know he saw the look on my face and he had to know how hurt I was by what Brittney said so loudly and lewdly and obscenely for anyone to hear. I guess she has to make it known she's easy. Is she gonna blow Johnny? He let Denise... he kissed her and touched her too. I'm gonna be sick._

"Noah," Luke stepped away. "I have to go to the bathroom and get some air. I need to be alone for a while. Ok?"

"Are you su-"

"Yes, I'm sure. I want to be alone. All alone." Luke said, walking backwards. After Noah nodded, he turned and ran out of the gym. He went directly outside and stood on the side of the building. His and Johnny's 'spot' and crouched down to think.

Inside, Andy saw Noah. "Noah, are you up for another dance?"

Noah turned and grinned. "Sure!" _It will take my mind off Luke breathing on my neck, feeling his lips there when he snuggled closer, and feeling his body against mind. Why do I have these forbidden feelings for him? Like Brooks said, it's wrong and fucked up._

Andy pulled Noah in and talked to him while they danced. "So the guy you were just with, he's out?" Andy asked.

"No. He's straight."

"Are you sure? Maybe he's not out like you."

"He's my brother." Noah laughed. "I think I'd know."

Andy shrugged and swiveled his hips. "I've seen him around. He wears a big ring, right?"

"That doesn't mean he's gay."

"Oh, I know, but I got the vibe from him. I guess I could be wrong."

"Yea, I think you're wrong. He'd tell me." Noah said as a matter of fact.

"Okaaay Noah." Andy drawled out, smiling. "Lets dance cutie."

Luke decided he'd call his mom to pick him up. He didn't want to stay here and have Johnny throw Brittney in his face. He couldn't deal with it. He didn't want anyone touching Johnny. Was he being unreasonable- probably. Was he jealous- definitely. Were his feelings warranted- not really, yet there they were, constantly pestering him.

He stood up when he heard footsteps in the grass. "Noah, I told you to leave me alone."

But Noah didn't come around the corner. Johnny did. "Hey." he said softly.

"Hey." Luke stared at his own dress shoes. He saw the toes of Johnny's shoes near his. He looked up, into Johnny's face and felt his eyes beginning to sting and fill with tears. "I can't-"

"Shhh, princess... please don't cry. Come here." Johnny opened his arms and Luke fell into them. He held him for a long time, letting Luke release his emotions. His hand tangled in Luke's hair, twirling it and combing his fingers through it. "I'd rather be with you tonight, you know that. You know you're my guy, don't you?"

Luke drew back. "I can't deal with this, I thought I could, but seeing her touch you and announce what you're doing later... I can't do this."

"I'm not going anywhere with Brittney. I promise. She has this idea we're going with the rest of the team and their girlfriends."

"You need to tell her you're not. She's all over you Johnny, closer than we were tonight."

"No, she wasn't." Johnny said in his defense. It was also the truth.

"It looked like it." Luke muttered, telling himself to shut up, but the voice wasn't loud enough for Luke to listen to it. "If you want a bj from her, go ahead. Kiss her, touch her, fuck her to prove that you're a man!" Luke pushed Johnny away. His anger overrode his hurt and pain.

Johnny caught himself and kept his balance. He said in a deep tone with anger, "I AM a man! I don't need a chick to prove that and I certainly don't need to fuck anyone to convince myself or ANYONE that I'm not anything BUT a man!"

Luke was stunned silent. He wiped the stray tears from his face and began to walk away. Johnny grabbed him and pulled him back, then pushed him to the wall.

"Don't leave like this." Johnny stared into Luke's frightened hazel eyes. "Look, I'll go break up with her. I'll fake a fight with her. I'll do anything to make this up to you, to show you how much I really care about you." he touched the corner of Luke's eye, capturing a tear, and ran the tip of his finger down Luke's cheek to his jaw. He traced Luke's strong jawbone to his ear, then put his hand flat on Luke's neck, under his ear. "Babe. Say something."

Luke heard the distress in Johnny's voice and saw the disquiet in his bluish-green eyes. "I don't want you to do something you don't want to Johnny. Don't do this for me. You should want to do it for yourself. Do you get that? Respect yourself and do what you feel is right."

Johnny pulled Luke's head closer using the hand on Luke's neck. "This is right. YOU and me together is right. I've told you, I want this. I want us."

Luke parted his lips to speak. Abruptly, Johnny's lips covered them.

Noah put Andy's number in his jacket pocket. He was supposed to call if he wanted to go on a date sometime. Noah was pretty sure he would call, if only to get his mind off of Luke. He thanked Andy for the dances and received a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Call me Noah."

Noah nodded with a smile, then went to find Bailey and Alan and Luke. The night was winding down and the dance was almost over.

"Noah! Great moves out there." Bailey patted his arm.

"Yea, right." Noah laughed.

"It was good." Alan agreed with Bailey. "How was it on a scale of one to ten?"

Noah's smile grew. "It was actually pretty fun. I'd give it a strong eight, eight and a half. He's nice and good looking."

"Oooh, Noah's got a boyfriend." Bailey hopped up and down, then hugged him.

"No, no. I just danced with him." Noah said, hugging Bailey back.

"You can call him." Alan said. You know his last name, right?"

"I got his number." Noah said softly, knowing Bailey was going to scream, which she did, loudly.

Noah chuckled. "Thanks again for pointing him out. I had a really good time. So," he began to ask, looking around. "where's Luke? Is he still outside?"

"We haven't seen him." Bailey said, answering for her and Alan.

"Hm. I'll check outside, but first, I should call Lilly... mom." Noah took out his phone.

"You call Luke's mom, mom." Alan asked. "Oh, I'm such an idiot. Of course you do. I guess I'm not used to Luke having a brother yet, even if you aren't by blood."

"By blood?" Noah asked.

"Yea, you have different birth parents. You're not related, really." Alan explained.

Noah pointed at Alan and grinned. "That's absolutely right!" He laughed happily and went to find Luke.

"I guess we can go home. My dad is picking us up at 11:00pm. It's almost that time now." Alan said, taking Bailey's hand.

"Alan, are you going to keep wearing contacts?" she asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Just for special occasions. Why?"

"Um-" Bailey shook her head. "Nothing." she said and gave him a slight smile.

"You think I look better without them." he stated.

"You do look like a whole other person. Some of our classmates asked me who you were and what school you went to. You're really handsome without them."

"I need them to see, Bailey." Alan frowned and began walking with Bailey to the door of the gym. "I have to wear them."

"But you could wear contacts instead." she argued.

Alan stopped and pulled her to the side to let others go past them. "Are you saying that you only like me because I'm wearing contacts?"

"No, of course not." she denied it.

"But you'd rather see me wear contacts than glasses."

"Well, yea." Bailey shrugged a shoulder while Alan's slumped.

"You hate me in glasses, you think I'm stupid and dull and ugly. That's it, right? Oh, and you're embarrassed to be seen with me as anything other than a friend when I wear glasses. Great. Just great."

"Alan,-"

"No it's ok. Don't worry. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad that I fell into the trap of trying to impress you and be someone I'm not. I got you to like me, but like Cinderella after the ball, I turn back into the plain looking person in normal clothes and you'll wonder what you saw in me. Let's go. My dad should be here."

"Alan, dammit! Listen to me for a second." Bailey tried to pull him back, but it was no use. Alan was determined to get to the car. He was a gentleman and opened the back door for her, walked around and got in on the other side. As his dad made small talk, asking how the dance went, Bailey tried to get Alan to hold her hand, but he moved his hand. She stared at him, trying to get him to look at her. It didn't work. When Alan's dad pulled into her driveway, Alan got out and walked her to the door. She turned to him before she went inside.

"I had a really good time, Alan. Thank you for taking me and for this corsage." she said gratefully, stroking the flower gently.

"Ok." Alan said, looking away. "Bye."

"Alan," she said frantically, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket. "please, hear me out."

"I know what you're going to say Bailey. Yes, we're still friends. See you in school on Monday. Goodnight." he said formally.

"You idiot." Bailey simpered, pulling Alan close and kissing him on the lips. Aware that Alan's dad was in the car, probably watching, so she made it short and sweet.

Alan gazed at her through dazed eyes.

"Yes, I hate those glasses, but I can live with them." Bailey let go of his suit. "So?"

"Ok." Alan said. What else could he say?

"Call me tomorrow?"

"Yes." Alan grinned. He walked back to the car. His dad chuckled, seeing his son so enamored.

Noah stood outside of the school on the sidewalk leading up the stairs. He looked around at the students, trying to find Luke. He couldn't see him, but he knew if he waited, Luke would come find him. He went back to the steps, holding his phone and sat on the bottom one.

Brittney almost tripped down the steps into Noah. "Have you seen Johnny? He's my date and I can't find him. We're gonna go fuc- Johnny!" she yelled and stood up when she saw him walking close to the school building; he'd just come from around the corner.

He motioned for her to come to him, in the grass. She ran on her tip toes so her heels wouldn't sink into the ground. "I missed you. Where have you been?" she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Ick, you need a stick of gum. What did you eat?" She dug around her purse while Johnny wiped his mouth. "Here." she shoved a piece of cinnamon gum in his mouth.

"So, you didn't answer baby. Where were you?"

Noah could hear her clearly, he didn't care what they were saying, he was waiting and wondering where his brother was. He continued to look as people exited the school and stood in groups on the grass and the sidewalk.

"Brittney. I can't go tonight." Johnny said, unwrapping her arm from his neck.

Now Noah was interested. Johnny the jock was turning down free sex with a good looking cheerleader? Why? Did he have someone else? Noah snickered to himself. Life as a popular kid wasn't all fun and roses.

"Why?" Brittney whined nasally.

"I don't want to date you anymore." Johnny said straight to the point.

_He's direct, gotta give him props for that._ Noah thought to himself and looked in their direction, seeing that Brittney was being her slutty self, not taking no for an answer. She was fawning all over Johnny, pawing at him and trying to kiss him.

"Brittney, get off of me!" Johnny stated, trying to hold her back forcefully but gently-- he didn't want to hurt her.

"No, you promised me a good time!" She lied, so anyone who was listening would think Johnny was scum.

"I didn't promise you anything. There's someone else, Brittney! Get off me now!" Johnny tried to back away, but she had her claws on his jacket and wasn't letting go. He said calmer. "Please, let me go. I don't want anything to happen to you." He yanked his jacket, but she held on.

"You fucking piece of shit!" she yelled, drawing a small crowd near. "You wanted to date me then you fuck around with someone else! Who? Denise? Did you go back to your ex?"

Noah finally had enough of Brittney. She was beyond annoying. He walked to her and said, "Brittney, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She turned and saw Noah. Johnny also looked at Noah, wondering what Luke's brother was doing.

"Sure handsome." Britney glared at Johnny and spat, "Fucking loser!" then she hooked her arm with Noah's and walked to the steps with him.

Johnny reassembled his clothing; tucking in the shirt she'd pulled out, fixing his jacket that was askew and finally he undid his tie and left it hang around his neck. He looked up when Brittney shouted, screeched, "You're gay? I thought you wanted to go somewhere to get to know each other! You're fucking gay?"

People around Noah began to snicker and laugh. Johnny heard his teammates laughing meanly and say very mean and derogatory things. He walked to the group and said, "Guys, why don't we get out of here."

Brooks looked at Johnny. "Yea? And who are you going to 'get out of here' with? You left Brittney hangin' man, that's not cool."

Attention was on Johnny now. His friends, teammates all looked at him. "I-- I wasn't into her guys. She's been around the block so many times she's dizzy."

"Got that right, but she's fun for a quick good time." Sammy said.

"You could have had her first, then dumped her, you fucked up. You're backwards." Erik said.

"Shit." Johnny snapped his fingers. "I didn't think of that. Damn." he appeared upset, but he wasn't. What he wouldn't give to take Luke 'somewhere'.

"Lets get in our rides." Brooks said. "Bye Johnny. Have fun at home with your hand." he laughed, slapping his friend on the back.

"Thanks guys. Have fun." Johnny watched them get in their cars and leave. He took a breath and walked to Noah, who was still waiting for his brother.

"Hey, thanks for saving me back there." Johnny said, holding his hand out.

Noah looked at it and decided to shake it. "No prob. She was getting on my nerves." he cocked his head and asked, "So, why weren't you teasing me too, like your friends were? You tease Luke all the time about being a transvestite because he wears a ring. Why not me?"

"You don't wear dresses." Johnny laughed. "Sorry. I was joking." he said when he saw Noah frown. "I'm not really like those guys."

"You are too."

"Not really Noah." Johnny stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I might act like it, but only because they're my friends and we're a team. I have to be a certain way with them to be accepted."

"Bullshit. You can be however you want to be. They shouldn't judge you for who you are. Be yourself."

Johnny almost said something like, 'You sound just like your brother', but he didn't. "It's easier this way, trust me."

"Easier being a jerk than being a nice person? I don't think so. You'd earn so much more respect if you showed who you really are. Look at me. I pretty much came out tonight. That's who I am and I was scared-- really afraid of being 'out'. I told Mrs. Snyder and she embraced me. I couldn't believe it."

Johnny smiled at Noah. "That's great."

"It is, it really is. I danced with... wait, why am I telling you this? I don't know you." Noah frowned and turned away.

"Noah." Johnny put his hand on Noah's shoulder. "Just tell me. I promise I won't be mean or condescending."

"Wow, I didn't think you'd ever use a word with more than five letters in it." Noah teased.

"Smart aleck. So, who did you dance with?" he asked interested.

Noah stared at Johnny for a while, trying to figure out why he sounded different. "Did your voice change?"

Johnny cleared his throat and changed it. "No." he said deeply.

Noah shrugged, saying happily, "I danced with Andy Hutchinson!"

"The senior! He's so..." Johnny quickly caught himself and shut his mouth before he said 'hot'.

"Good looking!" Noah finished. "I got his number. I was so scared to ask him to dance. He's really nice too." Noah grinned.

"Cool. I'm glad you found someone to hang with."

"I'll still hang with Luke. He's my number one priority." Noah said soberly. "His ex was here tonight. It upset him so much to see her with another guy that he was crying on my shoulder while we were dancing together."

"His ex?" Johnny asked. "I didn't know he was dating anyone. Who is he?"

"You mean she."

"Oh yes of course. Sorry, we were talking about you and guys and I just forgot... who is she?"

"Don't know. He won't say her name or point her out. All he told me was that she was there with another boy." Noah said. "I'd love to tell this girl where to get off."

It was then that Johnny made the connection. _Oh, Luke is referring to __me as the girl dating Brittney. Of course, he was broken up about Brittney being all over me. But I fixed that. Shit, he's waiting for me __around the corner to come back and tell him that I dumped her!_

"Noah, I really gotta go. I forgot something I have to do. Later!" Johnny ran the opposite way that Luke was, so Noah wouldn't get suspicious. He ran all the way around the school and stopped when he came to Luke. Breathing heavily, he stooped over. Luke rubbed his back in circles as Johnny told luke the good news, "I did it. She's gone. You're brother helped too."

"Noah?" Luke's hand stilled on Johnny's back. "What do you mean he helped?"

"Brittney wasn't going to let me go without a fight. She was yelling, calling me names, grabbing my jacket. People started selling tickets and making bets." he chuckled.

Luke slapped him on the back. "Asshole."

"Smart ass." Johnny laughed softly. "Noah is a good guy. He asked to talk to her, leading her away and that was it. She let go of me, thinking she had a better offer, but everyone heard her yell, 'You're gay?' Guess he told her."

"Is he ok? Maybe I should go now."

"Not yet and he's fine. We talked a little bit." Johnny stood up with a big breath. "I don't know the last time I ran that fast. I don't even run that fast for a touchdown."

"Well in that case, I bow to you, sir knight in shining armor." Luke bowed, giggling.

"Is it my turn?" he asked, thrusting his pelvis at Luke's head. "Want to try?" he teased.

"Not now. I have to go, so give me a kiss." Luke ordered, puckering his lips to accept a gentle show of affection from Johnny. The kiss was anything but gentle. It was hungry.

Noah checked the time on his cell and swore under his breath. "Dammit Luke, where are you?" Looking around, he saw his brother walking toward him from the right. "Where the hell have you been?" Noah asked loudly, running to Luke.

"I told you. I had to get some air."

Noah took note of Luke's mussed up hair and rumpled appearance. "Dude, you didn't just-" He shook his head and began to run to see the girl around the corner. He wanted to tell her to leave Luke alone.

"Noah, get back here! No one is over there!" _I hope!_ He ran after his brother.

Noah stood at the corner of the school, seeing no one there. He turned back to Luke and opened his phone. "I wondered if you met up with your ex." he said to Luke as he dialed home. "Your appearance looks like you did."

"No." Luke didn't consider it a lie. Johnny wasn't a girl or an ex. He listened to Noah ask Holden if he'd come to pick them up, then Noah said, "Thanks.... dad." and hung up.

"Aw, it's cute that you called dad 'dad'." Luke grinned and patted Noah's back.

"It's cute that you think it's cute." Noah played the game with Luke, he had nothing better to do than waste time until their ride came.

"Heh," Luke snickered, "You're cute when you're being cute. Top that Noah." He stuck his tongue out and made a noise with it.

"Ah-" Noah tried to think. "It's cute when you say cute because you're so cute, cutie."

"Ooooh, it's on now huh?" Luke laughed.

While luke was laughing and thinking of a come back, Noah was thinking. _He is so cute, but straight. I'd love to kiss him. Love to touch him- love to love him. Alan said he isn't really my brother and it's not like we grew up together, yet, lusting after him is so wrong!_

"Hey, did you hear me?" Luke asked; Noah shook his head. Luke said, "You're so cute that cute doesn't really describe how cute you are. Handsome is the new cute. You're so handsome that... that... shit. I forgot. You should have been listening. I had a whole paragraph for you."

"You probably wrote a whole book." Noah teased.

"Ha, Ha, Ha" Luke said in Noah's face.

Luke was so close that Noah could have moved just an inch and touched his lips to Luke's. Their chests were touching and Luke's hands were on Noah's shoulders for balance.

Noah licked his own lips, feeling drawn to Luke and his luscious lips. Luke must have seen the look in his eyes because he backed away with a look of his own on his face. Their eyes looked away from one another and it became silent.

Noah wondered if he scared Luke off, fearing he'd seen the longing look in his eyes to kiss his brother. He hoped not and that it had been his imagination.

Likewise, Luke hoped Noah didn't read into the look he gave his brother. He needed to keep things in perspective. He had Johnny who he was falling for and then there was Noah, who he'd already fallen for, but he couldn't date his own brother or come 'out'. One person coming out in the house was enough for one day. What would his parents say if both their sons were gay? He could just hear their mom, 'That blows our chance for a grandchild.'

"There he is. You can sit in the front." Luke said, walking to the car and getting in the back.

"How was the dance?" Holden smiled at Noah and in the mirror at Luke.

"Great." they said at the same time.

~~~~~~~  
**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 20  
Warning: angsty chapter

When Holden brought the boys home from the dance at the school, he went back into the living room to sit with Lilly. She had paused the movie they had rented to pass the time before Holden had to pick up the boys. Luke and Noah followed him before they went upstairs to bed.

"Did you have fun?" Lilly asked, closing her plush white robe.

"I had fun." Luke nodded.

"Me too." Noah grinned. "I'll tell you about it tomorrow, I'm worn out from dancing."

"Get a good nights sleep. We're picking up sticks around the pond tomorrow.

"Ew!" Luke groaned. He hated picking up the sticks and branches that had fallen. He and Holden did it every year. They filled the old trailer on the back of the tractor at his grandmother's house.

"Sounds like work for muscular guys." Noah held his arm and curled it, showing off. "Luke, you go to the gym and work out. I'll help dad."

"Oh you two." Lilly laughed at their antics. "Get changed and into bed."

"We're leaving when the sun comes up. Chop-chop." Holden clapped his hands to get them moving.

"We're going," Luke said, adding, "but I don't know if I'll be able to climb the stairs, as weak as I am."

"Noah laughed and swatted Luke's butt. He hadn't meant to, but it happened and he ignored the fact he'd done it.

"Wooo!" Luke said and ran forward. "I'm going, I'm going."

Noah grinned, watching Luke go up the stairs and undress at the same time. Luke's jacket came off, then the tie and when he reached his room, he turned. Noah noticed Luke's shirt had been unbuttoned along the way somewhere. He stared at the naked chest before him, his body hornier than it ever had been.

"Goodnight Noah."

Noah's eyes dragged up Luke's body. "Can I talk to you.... for like a minute?"

"Sure, come in." Luke said, backing away. He went to his dresser and took out a pair of sleep-shorts and laid them on the bed, then he hung up his shirt, tie and jacket. "Go ahead and talk, anytime now." he chuckled.

Noah was mesmerized by Luke's torso. He'd seen it before, but tonight he really wanted to touch him and feel Luke's skin on his lips.

"Cat got your tongue?" Luke asked, waving his hand in front of Noah. "Wake up sleeping beauty."

Noah blinked. "God, I'm sorry." he laughed nervously with a blush covering his cheeks. "I forgot what I was going to say."

"Oh, well relax. I'm sure it'll come back to you." Luke smiled and unfastened his slacks, letting them fall to the floor. He walked to the bed and put on his shorts. Noah stared the whole time, thankful that he had his jacket on to hide the huge erection he was sporting.

"Think of it yet?" Luke asked, hanging his slacks on a hanger. His mom would probably take the clothes to the dry cleaners, but he put them in the closet anyway. "Here," Luke said, holding his hand out. "Gimme your jacket, I'll hang it in here."

Noah found himself taking off the jacket and pulling his shirt out of his slacks to cover his hardness. He tossed the jacket to Luke, who caught it. Next, Noah took off his tie and dropped it in the chair by Luke's door and unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt.

"There." Luke said, rubbing his hands together. "Don't just stand in the doorway, come in."

Noah took a few steps inside, knowing if he walked all the way in, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing Luke. All he was thinking about was Luke. _He's not my real brother, but he is straight. He'd kill me if I made a move on him. I could say I was dizzy or tired and didn't know what I was doing. I could lie. He really isn't my 'brother' in the true sense of the word._

"Noah, you're freaking the shit out of me." Luke came closer. "You look spaced out. If you're tired, go to bed. Noah?"

Noah focused on the voice saying his name and his eyes came out from the cloudiness he was seeing when he had been thinking. He hadn't known when Luke came up to him, face to face, with less than a foot between them.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked, raising his hand to feel Noah's cheek- he looked flushed.

Noah nodded as Luke touched his cheek with the back of his hand.

"You're warm. You might have a fever. Let me get mom." Luke said, walking past Noah.

Noah acted quickly and stopped him. "No, Luke. It's something else."

Luke turned and walked back into the room. "What?"

"Can I-- can you give me a hug first?" Noah asked unsteadily due to his rapidly beating heart.

"You don't have to ask." Luke said chuckling, wrapping his arms around Noah's neck. Noah wrapped his arms around Luke's body. He began to stroke his thumb on Luke's back the more amorous he felt. Luke drew his brows together, wondering what was bothering his brother and why he seemed so distracted. Noah hugged him tighter, almost to the point where he couldn't breath.

"Noah-" Luke's voice rasped. "Too tight."

Noah let up. He gazed at Luke's face to memorize it this way and not the enraged way it would look after what he was about to do.

Luke looked puzzled as Noah's face came closer. Abruptly, Noah's hands were on his cheeks near his jawline, holding him right where he was. He couldn't ask the question he wanted answered because suddenly Noah's mouth was covering his- moving sensuously on his lips. Both of their senses erupted in lust in less than a moment and ignited promises of pleasure.

Luke's eyes closed, feeling Noah walk him backwards. He didn't know where he was going to end up until he hit his bed. Noah somehow lowered him onto it and was covering his half naked body with his fully dressed one. What was going on? Luke quit wondering when Noah began kissing his neck. Those same teasing lips ran up his neck and back to his lips. He felt Noah's arm wrap around his waist and his hand squeezing his butt. Luke bucked his hips, and whimpered in Noah's mouth after he felt how erect he was against his own hardness. He opened his mouth, inviting Noah's tongue inside. That unfamiliar tongue swept inside, tasting and licking.

_I didn't think I'd be this attracted to him. I'm a little confused- I can't believe he didn't resist! Why didn't he resist?_ Noah rose his head and got off of Luke and the bed. He needed to know, for Luke to say it right now. How could he hide it after this?

"I guess you're wondering... yea, I am gay too." Luke sighed quietly and went on as he stood up. "I didn't tell you because I wasn't ready. I don't have a better excuse than that."

Noah wondered aloud, "The girl, ex girlfriend?"

"A guy, a boyfriend." Luke looked down and rubbed his face. His eyes were tired and wanted to close. "Again, I'm sorry Noah."

"Who is he?"

"Noah- I don't want to say, ok? He's not out either. He had a girlfriend at the dance, apparently you helped him w--" Luke's face turned white. "Fuck!" He turned away quickly.

Noah didn't get it yet. He turned Luke back around and hugged him. "You could have told me."

"I know, but I couldn't." Luke said, wondering why Noah didn't confront him about Johnny since he practically outed him.

Noah caressed Luke's cheek, elatedly, he said, "I think I love-" His mouth crashed to Luke's so he didn't finish. He couldn't let Luke know that, but he must know after that confession, a half sentence or not. His hands traveled up and down Luke's bare back. _So warm and smooth. He tastes so good!_ Noah's tongue prodded Luke's mouth again. _He said I helped his boyfriend? How? Who did I help?_ Noah lost his train of thought when Luke's hands grasped his butt. He groaned and kissed him deeper.

_This is exactly how I imagined kissing Noah would be. I could do this all night long. I wonder if he could sleep in here. Mom and dad wouldn't care. He's my brother after---_ Luke opened his eyes and was **about** to push Noah off his lips. _He's my _**brother**_! This isn't right!_

_I only helped Johnny with Brittney, but Luke wasn't there at the time. He wouldn't know I helped Johnny, unless... Johnny told him? _**Johnny**_... Oh my god---_ Noah's eyes flew open and was **about** to push Luke off his lips.

They stared into each others shocked eyes when they heard a very loud gasp and an angry, disappointed, "Oh lord."

Luke and Noah pushed each other away forcefully and turned to the door. Lilly was frowning, shaking her head and Holden looked ready to get grandma Emma's shotgun and clean house.

"What in the hell are you two doing?" Holden asked, coming into the room glaring at his sons. "Well?"

"I think you know, you DID see us." Luke muttered. "For the record, was an accident."

"So you fell into each other and your lips got locked together!" Lilly said angrily. "You're brothers for god's sake! What do you think you're doing?" She turned to Luke and said sternly. "So you're gay too? Thank you for sharing that bit of information. Glad to know you can trust us and vice-versa." She stormed out of the room with the vision of her boys kissing.

"Your mother is very upset, as am I. We'll talk about this tomorrow when she and I are in a better frame of mind. Noah, go to your room and shut the door." Holden said sternly, looking at the brunette. "Luke, close your door too. I don't want any hanky-panky going on up here. Got it?" Holden asked and grit his teeth.

"Yes sir." Noah said nearing tears. "It's all my fault dad- Holden. I initiated it. Luke didn't know. It was me, I did this. I hurt your family! I shouldn't have come here!" Noah ran out of the room.

Holden and Luke heard Noah's door slam closed.

_No! I can't hide. I can't run away. I have to make this better._ Noah thought positively and decided to go back to Luke's room.

"Why?" Holden asked Luke, his nostrils flaring. "Why didn't you stop this!"

"Oh, it's my fault now?" Luke became angry.

Holden was so angry he spoke without a thought to what he was saying. "Your mother and I took him in as a brother to you! He's a- a guest in our home! You're OUR child-- you're supposed to know better Luke. I'm really, really frustrated with the way you--"

Luke's mouth dropped open, seeing Noah standing at his door. _Oh my god! He heard dad say that... say he was just a guest! He basically said Noah isn't his child. Oh Noah!_

Noah was stunned. He only wanted to apologize again, beg forgiveness, but he heard Holden practically disown him... or worse than that, not acknowledge him as a member of the family at all. 'A guest' rang in his ears as he began to cry. He gathered his bearings and ran downstairs, still wearing his green dress shirt and slacks.

"Noah! Get back here!" Holden yelled following him; Luke was close behind, but Holden stopped and yelled, "Get to bed!"

"But-"

"I said get to bed, Luke!" Holden turned and ran out the front door after his son.

"What in god's name is going on here?" Lilly asked, her nose runny and her eyes releasing tears.

"Fuck!" Luke yelled pulling his hair.

"Luke!" Lilly scolded.

Luke began to cry. "Noah. Dad." He couldn't talk with the lump in his throat and shook his head.

"What happened?" Lilly asked, sensing that something worse had happened than seeing her sons making out.

"Dad said that Noah," Luke cried. "that Noah is like a guest here, that he's not really a part of the family. Noah heard him. He HEARD him!" Luke screamed. "He's my brother! He's not some damn guest! He belongs here!" Luke looked around for something to throw. He punched the hell out of a pillow instead, hoping that his dad would find Noah and bring him back. He swore he'd never lose Noah again, and here he had, and it was all because he gave in and let Noah kiss him. This was his fault. All his fault. He should have stopped Noah before anything started.

A few agonizingly long minutes later, Luke ordered as he paced, wringing his hands, "Mom, call the police. Dad isn't back yet and I'm scared. Call Jack at home. Call Margo. Call them all!" His emotions had become erratic and uncontrolled.

"Calm down. I'm sure your dad will bring Noah home. It's--" They both turned to the front door when they heard Holden come in.

"Noah?" Luke ran to the entryway, looking around. "Where is he? Where did he go?" Luke screamed.

"Gone. I couldn't find him in the dark. All these big houses and the trees... he could have hidden anywhere. I called out to him and I didn't get an answer. Maybe in the morning he'll come back." As Holden was catching his breath from running and searching, Luke screamed, "Maybe? Maybe! We have to find him now!" He reached for the door, but Holden stopped him, held him in his arms.

"Calm down!" he said in a domineering tone.

Luke wiggled and twisted out of his dad's strong grip. "I have to find him! Why aren't you taking this seriously? He's your son! Call Jack! Now! I can't let him go away again. This is my fault!" Luke sobbed, running for the door again.

Holden stopped him and put him on the couch. Lilly sat next to him. He bawled on her shoulder. "Mom, mom, please, call Jack."

"Luke," Holden said, patting his son's knee. "He's sixteen. They can't do anything until he's been gone forty-eight hours. That's the law."

"NO! He could be... in another state by then." Luke cried harder, his voice came out raw as he begged. "Please... please... mom... mommy please."

Lilly looked worriedly at Holden. "I think you should call you know who."

Holden nodded and went into Lilly's home office for privacy. He explained the situation regarding his son over the phone and was assured someone would be there right away, they were 'The Snyders' after all and things got done with the snap of their fingers. It wasn't more than fifteen minutes later that the doorbell rang.

Luke lifted his heavy head and asked with hope, "Is it Noah?"

"No Luke." Holden said, walking to the door. He opened it and said appreciatively, "Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. He's through here."

Holden brought in Luke's therapist from a few years ago. "No, no, no!" Luke stood up shaking his head. "You have to call the cops! Noah is gone." He said to his parents, then ran to his doctor. Desperately grabbing the doctor's shirt and out of breath, he tried to convince him. "Dr. Martin, you have to call the police, Noah ran off and we can't find him. He's GONE!"

"Sit down Luke and relax." Dr. Martin said in a neutral voice to calm Luke.

"I don't want to! God!" Abrasive words flowed off Luke's tongue, "Can't anyone fucking hear what I'm fucking saying? I want someone to find Noah! Dammit, quit standing around."

While Luke was confronting his parents, Dr. Martin pulled a shot filled with medicine for sleep from his pocket.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 21

~~~~~~~

Noah woke in the morning in the top bunk of a bed in an unfamiliar room. He sat up, nearly hitting his head on the ceiling, and leaned over the side of the bed. He saw that Alan was still asleep on the lower bunk. He'd wait until Alan woke up before he rose. He thought about Holden's sharp, cutting words and that brought tears to his eyes.

He had run away from the Snyder's house, around several homes and silently crept into Alan's backyard, hiding in the bushes next to the patio until Holden's panicked voice stopped calling and pleading for him to come back. Then he went to Alan's front door and knocked. He could see a light and knew they were still up. When Alan's dad answered the door, Noah asked for Alan.

Alan came to the door, greeted Noah and invited him inside wondering why Luke's brother was sweaty and flushed, twitchy and nervous.

"What happened?" Alan asked motioning Noah to the luxurious couch. Noah hesitated. He was trailer trash; Holden made it clear that he didn't belong here- or so he thought that's what Holden meant. All these rich people pretended to be nice to him just because he was Luke Snyder's brother. If he had been anyone else, say Miles Stewart, they wouldn't give him a second glance or talk to him.

"Noah?"

"It's Miles, actually. It's the name I've had for eleven years." He said.

Alan was confused why Noah was acting so odd. "Oh. Ok, What's wrong. Do you want to talk?" he asked with genuine compassion.

"Can I stay here tonight? Would your parents mind, would YOU mind? The Snyder's..." Noah couldn't finish his sentence. He shook his head, getting choked up.

"Yes, of course you can stay!" Alan wrapped his arm around Noah's shoulders, consoling him. He was curious and wanted to know what happened, but he didn't ask. If Noah wanted to confide in him, he'd listen, until then it was none of his business. "I'll show you my room." he said, standing up and taking Noah with him.

Noah stared at the ceiling while wiping his eyes. _Where am I supposed to go? There has to be someway I can get out of this town. Somehow. Should I find my dad? Winston was it? I don't know what to do. I screwed up so bad, I can't even face Luke. He has to think I'm a pervert, no wait, I'm not 'in' their family, I'm not his brother, the Snyder's only have one son. I'm nobody's son. I'm nobody. I should have stayed in Ohio. I could be a mechanic. At least I'd have a home no matter how bad Connie and Earl were. Lee! I should call him. Damn, I don't have my phone. If I used the house phone here, Alan and his parents would hear me talking to Lee, asking for his advice. They'd find out what happened last night. I'm fucked!_

"Noa- Miles? Are you awake?" Alan sat up and ducked so his head wouldn't hit the frame of the bed above his head.

"Yes." he answered curtly. He had to separate himself and his feelings from his friend. Friend? Bailey and Alan were friends with him only because of Luke. They wouldn't hang around him otherwise.

"Get dressed. We can rummage for breakfast and talk, if you want to."

"I don't know. I'll eat, then I should go. Um, can I use your phone? I need to call someone."

"Want my cell?"

If he used the cell phone, Alan could see who he called in the log. "Do you have a house phone that's in a private area?" Noah asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and jumped down.

Alan thought; the kitchen, living room, his parents room... "In the basement. It's finished off, it's a game room and a movie room with a screen. Hey, we could watch a movie later if you want."

"Sounds good." Noah said in a dull voice, knowing he wasn't going to stay- as soon as he figured out where to go, he'd leave somehow. Maybe he could borrow money from Alan to take a bus? "Would you mind if I made that call now?" It would be a month before Alan's family got the phone bill to see who he'd made the long distance call to. By then, he hoped to be somewhere no one would find him.

"No prob. Come on." Alan waved.

Noah followed him downstairs to the kitchen, then to the door leading to the basement. "Thanks Alan." Noah said before turning to the door.

"It's on the wall next to the pool table."

"Gotcha." Noah walked down after he closed the door behind himself for privacy. Alan didn't do the huge area justice when he described the basement. Recliners were in a row in front of a huge screen. A popcorn and soda machine were against the wall and a bar was against the opposite wall. The game room part of the basement consisted of a large plasma tv with several game systems and about a hundred games in a custom built rack to hold them. There was a pool table, a pinball machine and other arcade games, a dart board, and so much more. He sighed. This kind of life was not for him. He WAS destined to live in a trailer park, to be in foster care with no real place to call 'home'. No one wanted him.

He walked to the phone and picked it up. With it to his ear, he punched in Lee's cell phone number. Thankfully, Lee answered on the second ring.

"Noah! How are you? I was just thinking about you." Lee said happily.

"It's Miles." Noah swallowed the despair in his throat, but it was unmistakably still there when he spoke. "I need some help. I left the Snyder's house. I don't belong here. I never did. I don't fit in and they really don't want me. I need somewhere to go and I thought you could give me some ideas-- being the idea man and all."

"Wow, why do you feel like you don't belong?" Lee's mood plummeted- as far down as the sound in Noah's voice. Noah needed a home, the home he'd dreamed of for so long with loving parents and his brother. What had happened to make him leave? It must have been bad. He felt so bad for Noah, it seemed his friend couldn't get a break anywhere he went.

"I can't say now. Just—- Just think and make it quick. I don't have a lot of time." he said softly with a lump in his throat as he looked around to be sure he was alone.

"Ok, um, god... where can you go?" Lee thought aloud. "Oooh! Come here. You can stay with my family. I know they won't mind at all. They like you alot."

"Maybe for a while, but I can't leech off you guys."

"Get a job while you go to school. It'll be cool having you back here. You can lust after Brody then." Lee laughed.

Noah winced with his hopes dashed and questioned, "How do I get there? I have no money and only the clothes on my back."

"Sell your body." Lee chuckled.

"Dude!" Noah exclaimed disappointedly. Now was not the time to joke around.

"Miles, I'm kidding. Be cool. Is there a car you can 'borrow' without anyone becoming suspicious of it missing until your far enough away?"

"Hm, you ARE an idea man. I'm sure there is. You're good!"

"I know." Lee answered, polishing his nails on his chest with a grin.

"I'll probably be there in a few days-- and Lee, thanks for everything. You're an awesome friend and you've been there for me forever."

"Don't get all sentimental on me. I'll see you soon enough." Lee chuckled. "Miles? You're my best friend too. Rock on."

"Oh yea, rock on." Noah said, recalling the phrase meant 'I love you'. "See ya when I get there."

"And not before that." Lee teased.

"Right." Noah replied and hung up. He went upstairs to eat with Alan.

When they were done, Noah told Alan that he was going to relax in the living room and that he had to think about some things. Alan said that was fine and went to take a shower. He wanted to see Bailey today after he helped Noah- if Noah would talk to him.

Noah actually did sit on the couch. He heard Alan's parents in the kitchen. They came to greet him and left for the kitchen again. Noah stood up, deciding to act casual while he looked around. He went into the kitchen, getting a glass of water to pretend he was thirsty when he was actually looking on the counters. He was discouraged when he didn't see what he was looking for, so he walked out of the room slowly so as not to draw attention to himself. He snuck into the den and quietly searched the large desk, nothing. Frustration was overcoming him. Alan would be done with his shower soon, if not sooner and he still had to look in the other rooms. He came upon a library and looked up and down the hall before he entered the room. Why car keys would be in a library, he had no idea. Books were on all sides of the walls and plush chairs and a sofa surrounded a fireplace. He made a mad dash to the end tables and opened the drawers. Again, nothing. It seemed useless and time was against him as was fate.

Noah walked down the hall and hung a left, intending to leave without saying goodbye. He saw a table near the door and a small colorful bowl that looked promising. He shook his head at his idiocy. Of course, keys were always near the door unless they were in a purse. He took long strides to get there and sure enough, there they were. He snatched them up and went to what he thought was the garage door. He unlocked the bolt and stepped into the neat and clean garage, seeing two cars and a Hummer.

Deciding to take the less conspicuous car, he opened the door of the Lincoln and climbed in. He hoped with all he could hope that Alan's family went the expensive route and got a silent garage door. He put the key in the ignition and prayed this car purred quietly. He took a breath, thinking 'it's now or never' with his fingers crossed on one hand. He pushed the garage door opener and started the car at the same time. It was pretty quiet. He backed out, leaving the garage door open on the off chance Alan's parents hadn't heard it going up— he certainly didn't want to give them the chance to hear it going down.

He put the car in 'Drive' and rolled down the driveway to the street. Then he gunned it and sped off. His first stop would be a gas station to get a map to go back to Ohio. He'd have to steal it, but he didn't care. He needed to get out of town and fast.

Luke violently snapped his head side to side as he dreamed.

_"Mommy, where is Nowah? Where did he go? Did he run away? I want Nowah to come home now." he said crying, stamping his foot._

"Luke, he's... he's gone. Jack is looking for him. So are the other policemen and women." Lilly was crouched in front of him. She was crying as well. It had been a month and they'd had no word about Noah. No one had seen a car take Noah away, no one had seen anything. She reached out to console her son, but he pounded his little fists on her shoulders.

"I waaaant my brother! Find him mommy!" Luke bawled. "Why did he go?"

"A bad person took him honey." Lilly held his fists so he wouldn't continue to hit her. "I'm sorry Luke. Everyone is doing what they can to find him, even grandmother Lucinda and your daddy. They'll find him. I know it." she said with confidence she really didn't feel.

"I should've stayed outside and punched the bad person. I could fight them and they would run away. I could protect Nowah." Luke stuck out his lip, disappointed in himself.

Lilly didn't have the heart to argue with him, but she did want Luke to know it wasn't his fault. She wiped his chubby cheeks of his never-ending tears and tried to smile. "That's my tough boy, but sweetie, this was an adult. No matter what you did, he would have taken Noah, maybe you too. It's not your fault that Noah is gone."

Luke yelled at the top of his lungs, "Yes it is! We're brothers forever! _We're s'posed to be together mommy!" he ran away to his room and fell onto Noah's bed, crying and saying "Nowah, come back. I miss __you. Get away from the bad person and come home. Nowaaaah!"_

Luke sat up and noticed his face was wet with tears. _Noah... come back please. OH! Maybe he did!_ He hurriedly ran downstairs, smelling breakfast. "Noah?"

Lilly looked up worriedly. "I'm sorry honey. He's not here. Your dad went out to look for him about an hour ago. I haven't heard a word."

"That's it! I'm calling Jack!" Luke said angrily. "I don't give a damn if it hasn't been forty-eight hours. We have to find him! He has nowhere to go!"

Luke went to the phone. "Jack Snyder please." he said quickly to the officer who had answered.

"I'm sorry, he got a call a little while ago. Can I help you?"

"Can you give him a message?" Luke grit his teeth. This was not the way he wanted things to go! He needed Jack on the case now.

"Sure, let me get a pen and paper." the officer said in an unhurried way.

Luke sighed impatiently,"Tell him Luke Snyder needs him to call immediately. It's an emergency!"

"Oh, hi Luke, I'd advise you to call his cell phone if it's urgent." the officer stated, hearing the fear in Luke's voice. He knew Luke. He knew every Snyder in town.

Jack was taking information from the owner of a stolen car when his phone rang. He excused himself and walked a short distance from Alan and his parents.

"Hello?"

"Jack, youhave to dosomething! Noah'sgone. He left lastnight after dadsaid some thingsabout himandhe overheard." Luke said so rapidly that Jack asked him to repeat it.

Jack listened closely. Luke was still in a panic, but he got the gist of it. Noah was missing and he already knew that. "Luke, calm down. I know he's missing. He stole a car and took off. I'm going out to look for it in a few."

"Stole a car?" Luke gasped. "Jack, you won't put him in jail? You can't! He's messed up. Please bring him back here, please? It's not his fault, it's mine!"

"It depends if this family decides to press charges or not." Jack said into the phone. "Now I really have to go. I'll take care of him, don't worry."

"Can I come with you?"

"No, that's not a good idea. Stay home and wait. I'll keep in touch." Jack said and hung up to talk to the family before he drove around. He'd already put two cars on the job, but so far, neither one had called with results.

"AAARG!" Luke yelled, feeling betrayed and useless. He wanted to help, but he couldn't drive. "Mom, can you drive me around?"

"I don't know Luke. I heard through your conversation with Jack that Noah stole a car. Noah sounds irrational right now."

"WHAT?" he couldn't believe his ears. "He's Noah mom! You and dad know him. Why are you both acting like you can't stand him now? Is it because you caught us kissing? Well I'll tell you what! I kissed him, ok? Do you hate me too now? Maybe I should steal your car to go look for him since you don't give a damn what happens to him!"

Before Luke stomped off to his room, Lilly said sternly, "Your father and I care otherwise he wouldn't be living with us! We love him and we love you. Catching you and him together like that was a shock. Yes, we may have said hurtful things, but we didn't mean them. Our intention was to sit you both down this morning and talk about it." She stood right before Luke with her hands on her hips.

"Love? You have a funny way of showing it!" That's when Luke stomped off, his expectations and efforts thwarted. Why wouldn't she drive him around if she loved him-- if she loved Noah? He laid on his bed, his heart aching for Noah, hoping Jack or the others would find his brother, hoping and praying Noah wouldn't get into trouble and be sent away for stealing a car.

_He must be SO hurt by my parents that he felt he had no choice but to leave. God! He must think they hate him for him to do something illegal and drastic. Noah, please hear me and come back!_

He turned on his side and curled up. The sun shone into his room. It was a beautiful day. It should have been a fantastic day, but Luke was miserable. He sobbed, hiding the sound in his pillow.

"Luke?" Lilly knocked on the door. "You have a phone call."

"Who is it?" Luke asked. Could it be Noah?

"That boy named Cliff that's been calling lately." Lilly answered. "Is he a new friend of yours?"

"Yea." Luke answered. "I'll get it up here. Hang up when I answer and interrupt me if you hear anything about Noah. Please!"

"I will Luke, don't worry." Lilly said, when her son opened the door to go around the corner and pick up the phone. He waited until his mom was downstairs and lifted the phone to his ear.

"I got it mom." Luke sniffled unintentionally into the phone.

"Alright, I'm hanging up now." Lilly said and did hang up. Holden came into the house shaking his head. "I don't know where he went. It's like he disappeared off the face of the earth.

"Have a seat at the table." Lilly said. "I'll tell you and bring you up to date on what I know."

"Hi Johnny." Luke answered morosely.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Johnny asked tenderly. He could hear the sadness in Luke's voice and knew something happened, Luke was usually bubbly and happy- it sounded as if he'd been crying.

"Noah left. He ran away."

"What? Why? When?" Johnny fired questions at him.

"Last night. My dad said some things about him and Noah overheard. He began crying and he just left."

"I don't mean to sound mean, but— didn't you go look for him?"

"I couldn't! My parents called a doctor and he gave me a shot, it put me out. They wouldn't call the cops last night. My dad's cousin is a cop and they wouldn't even call him! I'm so damn mad."

"You have every right to be. So how are we going to find him?"

"We? You'd help? First I have to tell you that you're so awesome! I ended up calling Jack myself a few minutes ago and told him Noah left. He told me that he had a call from someone and that Noah had stolen their car. If he gets caught, I'm scared that he'll go to jail. I can't lose my brother again. I just can't!" Luke became hysterical and frantic.

"Luke, take a deep breath. Do you want me to come over?" Johnny asked considerately.

"I don't know. Oh, don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, princess." Johnny smiled, Luke had heard it in his voice.

"Well last night, I accidentally let it slip that you and I are--"

"Shit. Who did you tell?"

"It was a mistake. Noah knows, but I swear, he wouldn't tell a soul." Luke tried to convince Johnny. He heard a pessimistic sigh on the phone and expected the worst possible scenario. "I'm really sorry." Luke said, sure he was going to lose Johnny too. They weren't boyfriends, but they were close.

It was silent as Johnny processed what Luke told him. "I just--- this fucking sucks. I don't know your brother. I don't know if I can trust him. What if it just slips out of his mouth too... and the next persons and the next until everyone knows."

"Y-You don't want to see me, do you. You want to stay away in case it does get out, then you can dispel the rumors. I get it. Bye."

"Hey Luke, don't." Johnny yelled. "You still there?"

Luke's answer came out with an ache in his voice, "Yea, I'm here."

"Do you want me to come over? Maybe I can help, you know, be there for you?" Johnny suggested.

"No. I want to be alone." Luke muttered. He would have welcomed Johnny, but he felt that Johnny was offering just to be nice.

"Let me know if you change your mind, but before 7pm if you can."

"What's at seven tonight?" Luke asked. He already had a feeling he knew.

"A get together at Brooks's house. His parents went away for the weekend."

"Uh-huh." Luke rolled his eyes. "Brittney and Denise will be there, I'm sure." He said angrily. "Have fun."

"Hey, listen to me. You know this already, but apparently it hasn't gotten through to you. YOU are my guy. Not some girl. Why don't you get that...? Princess." Johnny grinned.

"Because I see you with girls who kiss you and press their parts to your chest and dick. Because you don't seem to mind and you don't stop them because you have a reputation to uphold as a tough, straight, muscular football player who would never take it up the ass or give a bj."

"I gave you one last night outside the school, or was it that bad you don't remember?" Johnny shot back.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. Lets just hang up on a good note, 'kay?"

"No, I have to know, are we still a--"

"A what?" Luke asked sassing Johnny.

"I don't know! A couple? I fucking don't know how it works!" Johnny said, getting irritated.

"If you're asking me to be more than friends, that was a horrible way to get me to say yes. I don't want to have a boyfriend who yells at me when he's trying to be sincere." Luke commented boldly. Who in the world asked someone to be their significant other like Johnny just had?

Johnny growled into the phone. "I want us to be together, not dating anyone else. Will you be my--" Johnny hesitated. Was he really going to say the word 'boyfriend'" It sounded so weird when he thought about it. "You know."

"Hmm," Luke said, pretending to not understand. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"You're gonna make me say it, aren't you? Fine," he whispered, "boyfriend?"

"I don't know." Luke said. "I have some rules I want to go over with you before I accept."

"Oh Jesus." Johnny muttered. "What?"

"Knock off the attitude boy. First, you don't date girls. You don't ask them out and you don't touch them in a sexual way. Likewise, they don't touch you and if they do, you stop them right away and tell them you don't appreciate them groping you. Next, I'll stay away from you at school and you can tease me, but I need a kiss sometime during the day. You'll have to get word to me somehow when and where we can be alone and sneak a quick kiss. We don't need to make out, just an innocent kiss because I don't want to walk around with a hard on. Also, I'd like to be romanced- maybe a discreet date in another town; such as a movie or to get a bite to eat. Can you handle that Johnny?"

"Man, you have a lot of conditions you want me to fulfill, but you're worth it. I can handle it."

Luke was relieved, now if only his brother would come back. "Cool."

"Very cool." Johnny said in a low seductive voice. "You're all mine now. No backing out." he chuckled.

"I won't." Luke stated. "Are you really, seriously going to behave tonight?"

"Yes. Trust me. We're officially together now. I wouldn't dream of messing that up. You're terrific and who I want to be with." Johnny said affectionately.

"Me too." Luke replied. He knew he and Noah could never, would never get together. No matter what because they were brothers and would be for life, if he came back. "I better go."

"You don't sound very good."

"Sorry. I'm still thinking about Noah. I'm excited about us being boyfriends but I'm really worried about him."

"I see. Call me when you find out what's going on. Bye princess."

~~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 22

Jack saw the black Lincoln just outside of the town limits. He sped up and got right behind it. He double checked the license plate and confirmed that this was the car. Since it was Noah, he didn't bother calling it in. He put the red light on the top of his car and turned it on.

Noah's heart sank when he saw the revolving red light in his rearview mirror. He slowly pulled to the side of the road, parked and turned off the ignition. He was in trouble. He was caught. He'd be put in Juvenal Hall for stealing the car from Alan's parents, the nice people who had taken him in last night. He banged his head on the steering wheel and shed a few tears.

Jack knocked on the window, getting Noah's attention. Noah reluctantly looked up and saw Jack. This was even worse. Jack would admonish him for his behavior.

Noah opened the door, afraid. "Hi Jack." he said nervously.

"Noah, get out of the car." Jack said mindful of Noah's depressed mood while he eyed him closely. He knew Noah wasn't a threat, but he was in great trouble.

"Yes sir." Noah lowered his eyes and stood up. He took the criminal stance- facing the car with his hands on the roof and his legs spread apart as he waited to be searched.

"Come on Noah. You don't have to do that. Get in the back of my car. I'll call the station and have someone pick this car up." Jack said, pulling out his phone, watching Noah shuffle his feet to his car. He shook his head, feeling incredibly sorry for Noah. He called the station, then he called his cousin's house to let them know he found Noah and he was taking him downtown. He made one more call to Alan's parents and asked that they meet him there as well to file charges, if they wanted to.

Lilly, Holden and Luke drove to the police station and waited in the main room with Alan and his parents while Noah and Jack were in the interrogation room speaking.

"Noah, where were you going?" Jack was standing up, leaning on the table, towering over the brunette who looked haggard and tired.

"Away." Noah spoke submissively.

"Where?"

"Ohio, back where I came from to live with a friend."

"Why? Your parents and Luke have been worried about you and frankly, so have I. Why did you leave?"

"They don't want me there anymore and I want to go back to Ohio to be with my friend. I don't want to stay here."

"Then why didn't you tell them you wanted to leave? They may have helped you out."

Noah shrugged.

"You stole a car. You know how much trouble you'll be in? I'll stick up for you, but this could really mess up your future."

"I don't care." Noah replied, his spirits low. He really didn't care about anything right now. Whatever happened to him after today was fate.

"I think you do." Jack disagreed assertively. He knew Noah had been happy to be home. He also knew, through Luke, what happened. He was sure Holden had overreacted to something and said things he didn't mean.

"Nope, you're wrong. I've been gone eleven years. I've changed. I don't belong here." Noah said as sure as he could at the moment.

"Noah."

"What?" he asked, continuing to look down as he played with his fingers.

"Part of being in a family is forgiveness. Whatever happened at home and whatever was said, was most likely said in the heat of the moment. You can't discount the fact that we all get mad and say things we don't mean. Don't you agree?"

Noah shrugged his right shoulder.

"Look, I'm going to bring in the people you stole the car from. If they press charges, I'll need to figure out a way for the system to take it easy on you. I won't give up on you, ok?"

Noah wanted to tell him to just give up, that it didn't matter, but it did matter.

Jack straightened up and patted Noah on the shoulder. "Just relax. When they come in, say you're sorry with a genuine apology and act humble."

Noah nodded before Jack left.

When Jack went into the main room, Luke ran to him. "Is he ok? What did he say? Can I talk to him? Can I see him?"

"Later. Right now I need these people to come with me." Jack nodded to Alan and his parents. He led them into the interrogation room and addressed Noah. "Well, do you want to explain your actions?" Jack asked him, folding his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and I regret taking your car." Noah looked up, seeing Alan's parents looking at him with judgment.

"Why did you then?" Alan's dad asked in a deep, loud voice.

How could he tell these people what happened that prompted him to run away? His mind worked at an explanation, but he couldn't form a sentence. He stammered, "I-I-"

"I told him he could borrow it dad." Alan lied. His confession was intended to help his friend.

"What?" Alan's dad turned to his him. "Why didn't you tell us this before? You could have saved us a lot of time and energy, Alan."

"Sorry. I thought he'd be back before you'd notice." Alan explained, glancing at Noah with a small smirk.

Jack knew the teen was lying. Noah had no intention of coming back. Alan was a pretty great friend to take the blame for Noah. Now if Noah would stay in Oakdale.

"I'm sorry officer." Alan said. "I didn't think this would be a big deal."

"Well it is mister." Alan's dad scolded. "You're grounded until next Saturday."

"Bailey and I were going out today!" Alan cried out, then fell silent. He couldn't argue with his dad in front of Noah. He was sure Noah would feel guilty for getting him into trouble.

"Let's go." Alan's mom said. "Thank you officer for all your help."

"No problem ma'am. Take care." Jack nodded, then turned to Noah. "You are so damn lucky you have a friend like that, but you're not off the hook. You drove without a license."

"Do I have to go to jail?" Noah's voice was fearful as was the look in his sorrowful eyes.

"No. I'll fine you... or rather your parents." Jack said. "Can I bring them in now? Luke is really in a state of distress over you."

"Can I talk to him alone first?" Noah asked eyeing Jack.

"Sure, I'll get him." He said walking to the door. After he opened it, he said, "Luke, come in here please."

Luke eagerly and swiftly walked into the room. Jack closed the door to give Luke and Noah privacy while he went to straighten things out with Lilly and Holden.

Noah stood up when Luke walked around the table. He didn't know if Luke would hit him or hug him. Turns out, he did both.

Luke punched Noah's bicep hard and yelled, "How dare you leave me like that! Don't you care about anyone but yourself? You didn't take my feelings into consideration? I lost you once. I don't want to lose you again!" Luke grabbed Noah and hugged him close. "Don't you EVER leave me again! Got it?"

"I'm sorry Luke. When I heard your dad-"

"He's YOUR dad too!"

"When I heard **him** say I was just a guest, it felt like he didn't want me here, especially after I kissed you. I shouldn't have kissed you. I made things so messed up. I don't blame them if they want to take me to the foster care place to find me another home."

Luke stepped back, narrowing his eyes, wearing a deep frown and looking at Noah. "They don't want that. They want you home. Dad didn't mean it like it sounded. I swear."

"Maybe." Noah looked down. Luke grabbed his hands and held them.

"It's the truth." Luke said with honesty. All he wanted to do was take Noah back home so they could goof around and talk and do brotherly things.

"What about... the kissing? What did they say about that?"

"Nothing, but I told them it was a mistake and that it won't happen again. I consider you a brother, not someone... I don't know."

"Someone like Johnny?" Noah asked softly.

"Yea." Luke bit his lip.

"How close are you and he? Did you just start going out?"

"It's been a while. On and off. He asked me to be his boyfriend today." Luke said, but toned down.

"That's good, but are you sure he's right for you? He's kind of an asshole." Noah grimaced at the thought of Johnny and Luke together.

"It's an act, obviously. He's not out. He can't come out because of the team and I wasn't out either. We had to stay discreet and pretend we didn't like each other. Hence the teasing." Luke explained. "Please don't out him. I slipped up when I mentioned him last night and I should have watched my mouth."

"You can trust me. Don't you know that?" Noah pulled back in shock. "I wouldn't betray you Luke. God! Doesn't anyone believe me? I feel like you all are against me."

"It's not like that. No one is against you. I had to ask ok? Johnny freaked and he wanted me to ask you to keep mum about it so I did."

Noah sank to the chair and laced his fingers, resting them on the table. "I'm not sorry I kissed you, you know, not really. I'm attracted to you, but I know better now. We're brothers and I shouldn't come on to you."

"I let you.... and kissed you back, don't blame yourself. I'm attracted to you also, but I think it's because I didn't grow up with you. But yea, we shouldn't let our dicks control us." Luke giggled. "Besides, Johnny is officially my boyfriend now. No more fantasizing about your bod."

"You did?" Noah asked, his brows high, questioning. "I did too!" he laughed.

"Perv." Luke snickered.

"Just like you. So, how far have you gone with--"

"Noah?" Lilly had opened the door and poked her head in. "You're safe!" she walked in, Holden followed with an apologetic look.

Lilly hugged him and he lightly hugged her back, not feeling comfortable around her. "Honey, I'm sorry you felt you had to leave like that. Your dad and I overreacted, we realize that now. You know, we were so worried. He looked for you last night and he was out there again this morning. Where were you?"

"I stayed at Alan's." Noah admitted, looking at Luke. "I told him not to tell you, Luke."

"Whatever, I'm just glad you weren't sleeping in a box or in the gutter or something." Luke winked.

Lilly let go of Noah and turned to Holden. "You have something to say to the boys?"

Holden nodded and took a stiff breath. "Luke, Noah, I'm sorry for yelling at you last night. My temper got the best of me. It's just that I think of you as my sons and to see what your mother and I saw, was a shock to say the least." He shook his head.

Noah agreed. "It won't happen again. I promise. It happened on the spur of the moment and it was inappropriate."

"It's my fault too." Luke replied.

"Well, you are brothers, but not related. I guess your father and I would have to talk about how we feel about you dating each other. Lilly frowned; she was not warm to the idea.

"That's not going to happen." Noah said. "I met a senior last night who asked me out."

"A senior?" Holden asked. "Watch out for senior boys. I was one once."

Luke giggled before he said, "You ARE a senior now. **A senior citizen**!"

"I'm not that old Luke and you're not that old that you can't be spanked." Holden warned with a teasing tone.

"So Luke," Lilly asked, "you and Noah are both _gay_?"

"Yes mom. You don't have to whisper it. It's not a virus you can catch."

Noah put his fist by his mouth and chuckled into it.

"I know dear. I just want to be sure." She looked at Holden and tsked. "No hope for grandchildren."

Luke let out a groan. It was exactly what he knew his mother would say when he told her, or rather, when she found out he was gay.

"It's been an exhausting day so far. How about we go to the diner and get something to eat?" Holden asked.

A round of yes's answered his question. As they headed out the door, Holden wrapped his arm around Noah's shoulder. "Good to have you back son." he said.

Back at the house, Luke and Noah sat out back drinking ice cold lemonade in deck chairs, looking across the property.

"I'm glad you're staying. I don't know what I'd do without you." Luke patted Noah's hand before he picked up his cool glass.

"I feel like such an idiot for stealing that car and putting Alan in that position. I'm such a horrible friend."

"He's cool." Luke replied. "He'll get over it."

Noah chuckled, "He was so handsome last night, then today to see him with his hair all messed up and those dorky glasses..."

"I know! I would have never thought of Alan as hot." Luke laughed at the image of Alan at the station this morning. "Poor guy. He looks nerdy again." he took a long drink of lemonade, savoring the sweet and sour flavor.

"There's nothing really wrong with us nerds." Noah said.

Luke looked at him and spit out his lemonade all over; laughing laugh hard. Noah had his hands near his eyes as if he were looking through a pair of binoculars, imitating Alan's glasses, but not accurately.

"You're so mean." Luke wiped his mouth. "Alan is a great guy. He just needs some fashion sense."

"Us gay guys should know what he should wear." Noah teased.

"I have no comment on that except for the fact that you do NOT know anything about fashion."

"And you know this how?"

"Mom picked out your clothes when you moved in, you didn't. Oh, and I was the one who picked your suit and shirt."

"Ok, you're right." Noah ceded, crossing his long legs, one over the other. He rested his head back and smiled as he closed his eyes. "This is the life."

"M'm, it is." Luke mimicked Noah and laid the same way. The sun shone on their faces and warmed their bodies.

Noah turned his head to face Luke and opened his eyes. He whispered, "How far have you gone with Johnny?"

Luke turned his head too and opened one squinted eye. "Why would you want to know?"

"Curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat." The corners of Luke's mouth rose.

"We don't' have a cat. Tell me. I want to know."

"No. I can't. I'm embarrassed." Luke turned toward the sun and closed his eye.

"Have you had sex with him?"

"NO!" Luke sat up, astonished that Noah would ask.

"Then what?"

"Luke leaned against the back of the chair and regarded Noah for a moment or two. "Don't say a word."

"Cross my heart." Noah X'ed his chest. He grinned, waiting for the juicy truth.

"Ok, we make out, obviously."

"I can't see a big, buff guy like that making out with another guy, even if it's you."

"Me either." Luke agreed. He wouldn't have thought in a million years that the football player was gay.

"What else?" Noah questioned.

"Oh you know..." Luke turned beet red. He blamed it on the sun when Noah laughed and accused him of being embarrassed.

"Tell me, tell me." Noah chanted.

"Shush!" Luke looked around before turning back to Noah. "We got each other off on the phone and in person too."

Noah gasped. Johnny touched Luke there? He was jealous, but he couldn't let Luke know.

"And last night, he gave me a blow job on the side of the school building. It's like our 'spot'." Luke said with bragging rights.

"Really? He gave you one?" Noah asked, his voice sounded as if he didn't believe Luke.

"Really. I know it's weird, but he's a little more assertive than me when it comes to sexual stuff. It's complicated and it's also a turn on."

Luke had to mention **those** words; 'turn on'. Noah frowned. He didn't want to hear anymore. He didn't think he'd be this jealous. He needed to keep things in perspective. Luke had a boyfriend. Luke was his brother. He stayed quiet, but Luke droned on.

"We talked about having sex. Johnny said he'd want to receive. Isn't that funny? He's this tough guy with a rough exterior and he wants to take it up the butt."

Noah smiled politely and picked up his glass. He looked across the yard and inwardly moaned when Luke continued to speak. Why was he curious to begin with? Oh right, he wanted to know how far they had gone- hoping they hadn't done anything just so he could cheer. But Luke and Johnny had gone further than he'd thought and that made him jealous and regret even asking. He'd rather not know anything about their relationship.

"--and that's pretty much it." Luke smiled. He saw Noah's attention was elsewhere. "I was rambling wasn't I?"

"It's ok." Noah replied, glancing at Luke, then down at his own lap. "Are you and he doing something later... er, I'm not talking about sex."

Luke laughed and pushed Noah's shoulder. "I know what you meant and no. He's going to a party at Brooks's house later. I should call him. I promised to once we found you." he said, but stayed unmoving.

_I guess talking to his 'boyfriend' isn't as important as sitting here with me._ Noah snickered to himself. "You told him I went missing? Did you tell him why?" He didn't care that he sounded proud or overconfident in thinking that Luke told Johnny that Luke and he had been caught kissing.

"I told him you left."

"Did you tell him exactly why I left?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Yes, I said that dad said some hurtful things that you overheard." Luke voiced strongly. "Why? What else would I say?" he shifted his body so he was on his left side looking at Noah.

"I guess that's what happened." Noah averted his eyes.

"I wasn't going to tell him about us kissing Noah. He'd look at it as incest or something. Everyone knows you're my brother. I don't want to be beat up for having 'that' kind of relationship with you. We can't."

"I know!" Noah asserted and stood up. He went to the railing surrounding the deck and held onto it as he looked down at the yard below him.

Luke walked over too and stood next to Noah. "I'm sorry. I won't bring 'it' up anymore. You know how I feel and I know how you feel. We made an agreement, now let's keep it."

Noah nodded. _Yea right Luke. Pretend. I guess I can do that. I did it my whole life. Pretend everything is fine, pretend I'm not attracted to you, pretend our kisses never happened. What am I thinking? I have to pretend. Luke has a boyfriend. He's happy. I won't interfere... maybe. Maybe I could, but innocently. Johnny will be at a party, girls are going to be there. Luke was upset and crying last night when Brittney was all over Johnny on the dance floor! If I can convince Luke that we should sneak over to the party and spy, he might see some girl hanging all over Johnny, gushing, trying to seduce him. What girl can resist a big, blond football player? I think I'll suggest it._

"I was thinking." Noah began slowly. "We should go to Brooks's place when it gets dark and peek in the windows! Wouldn't that be funny?"

Luke arched a brow and asked, "Why? How is that funny?"

"It's something to do. Oh! I know, we can wait in the shadows until Johnny leaves the party to go home, you can whisper to him and get his attention. You can get him alone- to talk or whatever."

"Hm. That's actually a good idea. I should call and tell him to meet me outside at 10pm or something. Thanks Noah!" Luke turned to leave.

"Wait! Don't you want to surprise him?" If Johnny knew to expect Luke, he might not be as relaxed to allow a girl to kiss him on his lips for show— the way Denise and Brittney did. They had been good covers, but Johnny broke up with them and Noah knew that Johnny would need a cover tonight, or at least look interested in a girl.

"I don't know." Luke answered.

"I know that I would be really surprised and elated if MY boyfriend showed up when I was leaving. It's romantic and unexpected. You don't want him to think you're predictable, do you?"

Luke shrugged and thought for a second before he answered, "I guess not."

"Good. What do you want to do before that? We can go downtown and bum around."

"I actually do have to talk to Johnny. Remember? I need to tell him you're back. He was genuinely worried about you." Luke said, walking to the french doors.

"Luke, wait."

"What now?"

Noah pulled his phone out of his pocket and said, "Use mine. You never know who's listening in."

Luke took the phone and asked, "What about you? You're going to be listening."

"The difference is, Luke, is that I know you have a boyfriend and your parents don't. Call him. I'll sit in the deck chair and you can stand by the railing-- or if you're comfortable with me hearing you, sit next to me."

Luke dialed the number while Noah took a seat. Noah kept a close eye on Luke and made it a point not to look like he was listening, but he heard everything. Luke was talking in a normal voice and volume.

"Hey." Luke grinned. He sat on the edge of the deck chair, turned away from Noah.

"Hey yourself princess. How are you? You sound a lot better."

"I'm good. Noah is back home. I know you were concerned so I thought I'd let you know."

"Cool. Tell him I'm glad that he came back and that he's lucky he did." Johnny growled playfully.

"Why is that?"

"Because he made you cry and I was ready to kick his ass. No one hurts my guy."

"Oh Johnny!" Luke said after his heart skipped a beat. "You're showing your romantic side."

"I don't care. I am romantic. Don't tell anyone, but there are so many things I have to pretend not to like just to fit in with the guys."

"Like what, tell me." Luke asked interested. This was a whole new Johnny that he didn't know.

"Well um, lets see. I like you." he chuckled.

"That's a given. I like you too."

Noah sighed quietly and rolled his eyes. _At least he said 'like', not love!_

Johnny answered, "You better like me. You let me touch and suck your gorgeous, hard, tasty, thick, smooth dick."

"Hey, don't sa-"

"I sucked it good, didn't I? It was so hard in my mouth. You were so sexy, those moans and grunts... ah god... and when you came in my mouth, shit, that was fantastic! Your dick just kept pumping cum out and I swallowed it all. I want to do it again and again. I can't get enough of your dick, princess."

Luke bit his lip and tried to cross his legs.

"Wanna taste mine? I'll take it out for you and shove it in your open mouth. You can kiss and lick it. Pump it, jack me off. God I'm so hard right now, are you?"

Luke cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder at Noah. Noah quickly turned away and pretended to be immersed in something in the distance.

Luke said into the phone, "Yes, very."

Noah wondered what they were talking about. Why did Luke have to see if he was watching or listening to him?

"Good. Touch it for me."

Luke chuckled uncomfortably. "I can't."

"Shit. Well I can touch mine, I'm alone. I'm taking off my shorts and underwear."

"Where are you?" Luke asked, his breath becoming excited.

"Where am I? I'm in your bedroom babe. Laying on your bed."

"Daaamn..." Luke groaned.

"Ok, I'm naked and touching my balls. Mmm feels good. I'm spreading my legs far apart and grabbing my dick. Fuck, it's rock hard and wants you to touch it."

"Johnny-" Luke whispered because his breath was coming out even faster the more he got turned on.

Noah was getting ticked off listening to Luke. He knew now what was going on. They were, or rather, Johnny was talking dirty to Luke.

"Aaaah- now I'm moving my hand up and down my shaft, it's throbbing for you. I want you so bad.... ohhh." Johnny exhaled loudly in Luke's ear, causing a soft moan to escape Luke's mouth. He quickly looked at Noah again, then got up, keeping the front of his body away from Noah's eyes, and walked to the railing. "What else?" he asked Johnny.

"Mmm. I'm tasting myself."

"What?" Luke asked, thinking he heard wrong.

"Yea, the little bit that came out. It's good, you should be here licking it off my dick."

Luke closed his eyes and imagined Johnny naked on his bed.

"UHMM!" Johnny broke Luke's thought with a loud grunt as he thrust his hips up and down, increasing the speed of his hand.

"Jeeesus..." Luke whispered.

"Oh god, oh.... babe... shit." Johnny's voice sounded as though he were in pain, but Luke knew better.

"Ah,Ah,Ah,AHHH!" Johnny yelled when he came on his body. He panted into the phone. "Hey, princess, you there?"

"Shit."

"What's wrong?" Johnny inhaled deeply and let it out slowly.

"You. You dirty, dick licker-sucker." Luke whispered, looking down at his shorts.

"Excuse me? That better not mean what I think it does." Johnny wiped off his body while he waited for an explanation. Was Luke putting him down?

"You made me-" Luke turned his head and saw that Noah had gone inside at some point.

"Made you what? You're mad at me?"

"No." Luke chuckled. "Lets just say I'll have to change my underwear."

"You- wow! Are you shitting me?" Johnny asked heatedly.

"Yes. I'm on the deck. Noah was out here, but he went in."

"I can't believe it. You did, you came?" Johnny laughed happily.

"Yes, why would I lie. Ew, it's so sticky." Luke pulled his shorts away from his crotch.

"You're amazing, you know that? Absolutely amazing." Johnny stated as a fact as he put his clothes back on.

"You are too. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"How late are you staying out tonight?" Luke asked.

"I'm not sure. Depends on what's going on."

"Oh." Luke drew his brows together. If Noah brought his phone, he could call Johnny and tell him to meet him outside.

"Why?"

"No big deal. I was wondering."

"Ok."

"I should go. I have to sneak into the house and upstairs without anyone catching me. I shouldn't have worn khaki colored shorts, damn. Mom and dad might see the wet spot and think I couldn't make it to the bathroom fast enough."

Johnny laughed. "Go on and good luck. Oh, and remember to tell Noah hi."

"Will do... and I did tell him to keep quiet about us. He promised he would."

"Thanks, you understand right?"

"Yes!" Luke smiled. "I get it. Bye"

"Later princess." Johnny smiled too and hung up.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 23

Later the same night (Saturday)

"Where does Brooks live?" Noah asked, standing in Luke's bedroom. He watched Luke push hangers aside, looking for the right shirt. "I know the street he lives on. Once we're there, we'll know which house because of the music and the laughter. Don't ya think?" Luke asked, holding up a gorgeous brown and blue plaid shirt to impress Johnny. "How's this one?"

Noah made a face and lied, "Uh, no. It's not very flattering."

Luke frowned and looked at the shirt. It was one of his favorites. Bailey liked it too. "Huh." he huffed and hung it back up.

Noah reached in and took out a plain black tee shirt with a v-neck. "Wear this. We have to stay hidden."

"It's just plain black." Luke scrunched up his face at the shirt and looked at Noah. "I use this for yard-work and stuff."

"I don't care if you use it to wipe yourself after you take a crap. Wear it." Noah laughed at Luke's disgusted expression.

When Luke was dressed and ready to go, they went downstairs and told Lilly and Holden they were going for a walk and maybe to the diner to get a shake and a burger. Holden noticed the time. "At nine-thirty?"

"It's Saturday night. I'm sure there's going to be a crowd there. Maybe Alan's parents let him take Bailey out after all?"

"I highly doubt that, but go on and be careful. Cars won't see you very well in those dark clothes. Maybe you should change." Lilly suggested.

"Um," Noah thought of something to say, but his mind was a blank.

"Go on boys and be home at a decent time." Holden waved to them.

Luke and Noah walked calmly outside, then sprinted down the road.

"We have to go right for a few blocks." Luke said. They jogged down the sidewalk, then Luke directed them to a steep hill.

"Oh my god!" Noah said halfway up the hill; sweating and slowing down. "My lungs are on fire."

"You're out of shape." Luke teased. The truth was, he welcomed the slower pace. He felt out of breath and was sweating too.

"How much farther?" Noah asked bent over, taking small steps.

"Once we're on top, we have to go left. I think it's the second left, then walk or jog some more until we come to a street that is a dead end. He lives somewhere on it."

"I'm gonna die before we get there!" Noah exclaimed dramatically.

"And no one ever guessed you were gay until you came out?" Luke laughed at Noah's theatrical overemotional voice.

"What about you?"

"Yea? What about me? Don't even diss on my ring. That doesn't mean I'm gay." He looked down, seeing the fake diamond ring that he never took off.

"Doesn't mean you're gay? Hello? You are gay though. It makes you SO gay." Noah laughed and clapped Luke on the back.

"You're gay." Luke teased.

"Yea, I am." Noah stuck his tongue out.

"At least you can say that you're NOT a virgin in every sense of the word. You've been kissed now."

"Hey, that's right!" Noah grinned. "I need to make a checklist. I could mark that off. Next would be groping an ass. Touching a cock, giving and receiving a blowjob, then sex. Oh wait, one check would have to be for being penetrated and the other to penetrate. How long do you think it would take me to complete the whole list?" Noah rose an eyebrow at Luke.

"How long... lets see," Luke thought, then said with a smile, "How about never? I'm not letting any bitch touch my brother."

"Shut up." Noah snickered. "You're funny, but a little weird."

"And... you figured that out when? You're a little slow aren't you?" Luke looked at the road and pointed, "That way, I think."

After walking and teasing, Luke saw a large home with lights on and heavy music coming from it. He stopped in his tracks and waved his hand in front of his face to dry the sweat. He tried to run his fingers through his hair to fix it, but it was wet on the ends. "Noah? Can you do something with my hair please? I don't want to look like a dork when I see Johnny."

Noah stepped close to Luke and patted his hair down. He looked into Luke's worried eyes and almost confessed his motive for wanting to come here. Luke was really concerned about how he looked for his boyfriend. It showed how much he liked Johnny. Why was he tricking Luke into finding Johnny with a girl, IF he was with a girl. He could be a stand up guy and not be with a girl. Maybe girls weren't invited? Either way, he decided that Luke should just get Johnny out of the house. He would walk home and let them have their moment alone.

"You look good Luke." Noah said, and Luke did look good. That made it that much harder to let Luke go.

"Ok, lets go!" Luke grinned and took Noah's hand. "Where should we go? In the back or the side?"

"Oh, I guess in the back. If the neighbors saw us on the side we could be in trouble."

"I concur." Luke agreed and walked faster, pulling Noah with him. They walked silently behind the house and ducked down. "Can you see anything?"

"No." Noah replied, popping his head up. "The windows are too high because of this stupid hill in the backyard. I guess we go around the side."

"But you said-"

"Forget what I said. The neighbors' garage is on the side of the house. No one is going to be in there to see us, come on." Noah said, still holding Luke's hand as they kept low and scrambled to the windows on the side of the house.

They stayed down for several minutes until they felt comfortable.

"Look." Noah urged.

"You look. Tell me if he's there. He may have left. I don't know."

"He's your boyfriend."

"This was your idea." Luke argued.

"Fine." Noah grumbled and slowly rose. He looked in, seeing girls and football players from every grade inside. Some were dancing, others were standing, leaning against a wall, some were eating or drinking and some were making out. It was too crowded to see if Johnny was amongst the crowd. He ducked down again and sat on the heels of his shoes. "I didn't see him. It's packed like sardines in there."

"Let me-"

"Shhh!" Noah covered Luke's mouth. He pulled him against the house, behind a shrub and whispered, "Quiet, I hear voices."

Luke listened. Sure enough he heard male voices then a strike of a match.

"Good game last week."

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad. I'll tell ya, the after party was a hell of a lot better."

Luke and Noah saw plumes of smoke rise. The two guys were smoking. Luke didn't recognize the voices though.

"Tell me about it!" a voice said, then laughter.

"God was that bitch hot or what!" he exclaimed.

"No shit. I wouldn't mind doing that again. Fuck."

"She's such a good slut! Taking my cock in her pussy and yours in her mouth."

"Damn, she WAS great. Insatiable. I can't believe Johnny didn't get with her. He's an idiot to let her go."

"He didn't?" he asked with skepticism. "I was sure he did."

"No, you left early. He broke it off with her right after the dance, didn't even fuck her before he dumped her. What a stupid fuck." he scoffed, then laughed.

"God I swear he was into her. She sure as hell was into him, but who isn't she into? Brittney fucking Collins is the biggest whore in the whole tri-state area. How did he not do her? She spreads her fucking legs for anyone!"

Luke and Noah heard inhales from the cigarettes and an exhale of smoke as the voice spoke. "He said he has 'standards' and wants to wait for the right chick. I told him he's a dumbfuck. He can have standards after he gets married."

"He didn't fuck Denise either? What?"

"Nah, he said they fooled around and did everything except fuck. I don't know what the hell he's waiting for. It's odd."

"I got an idea." he said excitedly. "We'll tell Brittney to go to Brooks's room and get naked. We take Johnny upstairs and push him in the room and keep the door closed so he can't get out. She'll get him good and he'll walk out of there afterward and wonder why he waited so long to get fucked."

"We should do it! He'll thank us later!"

Luke was starting to stand up, but Noah held him down and covered his mouth. He whispered in Luke's ear, "Stop, you know Johnny could take both of those guys out with one punch. They're all talk and no action. Anyway, Johnny wouldn't fuck a girl, you and I both know that. Now settle down or we're leaving." Luke nodded.

"You know, maybe we should get Brittney upstairs and have a repeat of last week. Did you bring rubbers with you? I didn't."

"Yea dude, I carry a few in my pocket all the time. Never know when the need strikes. Ready?"

"Just a sec."

Luke and Noah heard the second guy inhale and exhale, then crunching of gravel as he pressed his shoe into the cigarette he'd finished. "Come on."

Luke and Noah stood up. Luke breathed easily now. "See? I told you it would be alright. Man, that Brittney is a slut. Did you hear them?"

Luke nodded and looked toward the window. "I'm gonna look."

"Here, just call him and tell him to meet you outside." Noah said, reaching for his cell phone.

"First, I want to see inside." Luke said sternly, leaving Noah speechless due to the tone in his brother's voice.

Luke slowly moved his head and peered into the window. He saw the same view as Noah. His eyes narrowed, searching for Johnny. Then he saw him come out from what Luke thought was the kitchen. He was laughing and talking to Brooks, then a girl, who looked like she was college aged, squeezed between them both and wrapped her arms around each one of their shoulders. Luke held his breath. _It's ok, it could be someone Brooks is dating, couldn't it? Then why is she giving Johnny a kiss on the cheek... AND Brooks? Is this going to be a threesome like those other guys talked about? Shit. No! I have to trust Johnny, but if he knew I was here, he wouldn't be letting her... now what?_

Luke watched Brooks and Johnny sit on the couch, then he gasped when he saw the girl sit on Johnny's lap, wrap her arm around his neck and put her legs across Brooks's lap. "He..." Luke's eyes widened and he ducked as fast as he could. "Oh Fuck!" he said discouraged.

"What?" Noah asked, turning Luke's head.

Luke whispered, scared, "I think someone saw me. I'm not sure. It could have been my own reflection in the glass."

"Did you see Johnny?" Noah put his hand on Luke's shoulder.

"Yea." Luke looked down. "This older girl was sitting on his lap with her arm around him. She also kissed his cheek. Noah? I wanna to go home." A sad sound came from the back of his throat.

"Looky here." A male voice said behind them.

"Shit." Luke muttered, putting his sorrow aside to be able to stand up to the ones who caught him and Noah.

"Relax bro," Noah said, "I've got your back."

"Yea? Who's got yours if you have mine?" he snickered. They rose together and faced two junior high school football players.

"Who are you?" one asked.

The other questioned, "What are you perverts doing here?"

The first one snarled, "Why are you peeking in windows? Think you're going to see some hot chicks? Naked and kissing each other?"

"No." Luke said unafraid. "If we wanted to see that, we'd rent a porno. They have better looking chicks in those movies than in there." He motioned with his head to the house.

"My girlfriend is in there!"

"Oh?" Luke smirked. "Which one? The one with the fishhook in her mouth or the one that looks like a donkey's ass?"

"Get the hell over here!" the guy yelled and grabbed Luke by the front of his shirt; pulling him.

"Got my back now Noah?" he turned and saw his brother being dragged too. He smiled at him. Noah couldn't help but chuckle. The guy tugging and pulling him angrily asked what was so funny.

"This situation." Noah replied, continuing to chuckle as they all went to the front of the house.

Luke lost his smile. "No, I don't want to go in and ruin the party. Just beat us up out here man." he rose his fists, but he guy scoffed.

"You're both going in, party crashers."

"You'll learn not to peek in other people's houses again. We're all going to have fun with you two." the guy holding Noah laughed.

"No!" Luke stretched his leg out and put the bottom of his shoe on the door so these guys couldn't open it. Johnny would be so mad at him, knowing he was snooping around. Why didn't he just call when he got to Brooks's house? "I'm not going in!" he declared, wiggling his body.

"Yes, you are!" the guy yelled and yanked Luke back; his foot fell off the door and the other guy opened it, leading Noah in first with Luke being forced in close behind. The football players pushed the two inside and blocked the door. They yelled over the music, "LOOK WHO WE FOUND SPYING IN THE WINDOWS!"

Someone turned the music off and all eyes were on Luke and Noah.

"Perverts!" Brooks yelled when he saw who was in his home.

Johnny's eyes met Luke's. Luke could tell Johnny was tense with anger. His mouth was a hard straight line and his eyes were narrowed into slits.

Brooks got up, after he removed the college girl's legs from his lap, and walked to Luke and Noah. He turned to the guests and announced, pointing to Noah, "This one is gay and at the dance last night, he danced with his brother! I bet Luke here is gay too! He likes to wear women's jewelry." he looked at Luke and Noah, saying louder, "I bet they fuck each other too! Brotherly love!" He laughed as the room groaned with disgust at that thought.

Luke spat, "Brooks, you have a great imagination. Too bad you don't have a brain that can hold it."

"Oh you want some of this?" Brooks held up his fists. "I can bring it on."

"No, we don't want any trouble." Noah said. "If you let us leave right now, I promise, we won't come back or bother you again."

Luke watched Johnny whispering into the ear of the girl sitting on his lap. She got up, so did Johnny. Luke's eyes instinctively shot to his boyfriend's crotch, wondering if he was hard because that girl was sitting on his lap. He felt bad for thinking he'd have a hard on when he saw that it wasn't even remotely erect. His eyes rose to Johnny's face. His beautiful face looked harsh, unwelcoming and furious. His bluish-green eyes were piercing his, penetrating them, conveying how much he wanted to shake Luke and yell at him. Luke looked away when he was addressed again.

"What are we going to do with you both?" Brooks asked rhetorically. He turned to his right and his left, seeing his team behind him. Johnny was on his left now, staring, like all the other football players.

"Let's take them outside and teach them a lesson." a player named Erik said with a sneer.

"Force them to kiss!" Brittney said, walking to Noah. "You'd like kissing your brother I bet." she rubbed his chest sensually while batting her eyelashes at him. I know I could make you like females."

"I don't want to watch two guys kiss! Its fucking gross! Let's give them a ride out of town and leave them there, show 'em they don't belong in Oakdale." another player named Sammy suggested, laughing meanly.

"I agree!" Brooks said, getting Brittney off of Noah by moving her aside. He put his fist in the air and cheered, "Whoo!" He put one hand on Noah's shoulder, before he brought his fist down, pulled it back and slugged Noah in the stomach. Noah bent over, gasping. Luke was stunned. The punch came out of nowhere! He touched Noah's back soothingly. "So much for you watching my back bro." he chuckled and glanced at Johnny, whose expression hadn't changed.

Brooks put a hand on the back of Luke's neck and squeezed. "You think you're a funny guy don't you, asshole?"

"I don't think I am, I **know** I am." Luke sassed with a grin. He wasn't afraid of anyone. He knew he was aggravating the situation, but he wasn't about to back down and play the frightened little boy they wanted him to. Immediately Brooks made a fist and delivered a quick, forceful punch to Luke's stomach too.

"Wow!" Luke inhaled sharply, then groaned. "That was a great hit." Luke coughed, bent over. "You should go out for boxing. I heard they need brainless idiots on the team."

Brooks lifted Luke up and was about to hit him again, but Johnny stalled him when he spoke up in a deep, gruff voice, "Lets go. They're ruining a great party. We can dump 'em off somewhere and come back. I don't want to stand here all night. Besides, it's not a fair fight. They're wimps, both of them."

"Let's go!" Sammy shouted enthusiastically.

"Hold up!" Brooks said with his arms raised. "Just take one car. That way the rest of us can stay."

"I'll take them." Johnny volunteered to save Luke and Noah from his friends' prejudices and fists.

"No." Brooks shook his head. "You stay. Sammy and Erik, you go. Take them past that run-down farm way out of town, you know the one?"

Sammy nodded with a grin. "You got it. They won't be home until morning, if that."

"With blisters on their feet too." Brooks laughed. "Supposed to rain later. I'll bet it's a cold one."

"Oooh, I'm scared of rain." Luke pretended to shake. "The worms are gonna come out and get me."

"Luke, shut up." Noah glanced at him, then at Johnny, wondering if he'd help somehow, but Noah saw how pissed off he was and looked away.

"Yea _princess_, shut the fuck up!" Johnny warned. He couldn't speak with worry or concern for either Luke or Noah- he was trying to stay tough and sound pissed off at the same time. He hoped Luke understood that he was telling him to be quiet and to not make things worse with his big mouth. He didn't want anything to happen to Luke or Noah. Not **his** guy. The punch to Luke's stomach hurt him to watch, but he knew Luke could take it. He had abs- enough to tighten up to lessen the force of Brooks's fist.

"Oh, you're gonna start in too?" Luke asked Johnny with a sneer. His boyfriend was with a girl and he was hopping mad. He didn't care that he was taunting Johnny, making things worse. How much worse could they get anyway.

"Luke-" Noah tried to say 'stop it', but he was ignored.

"Yea I am!" Johnny walked to Luke, nudging Brooks out of the way.

"Get him Johnny!" He was cheered on by the junior and senior students.

"Gonna hit me, tough guy?" Luke scoffed with his eyebrows furrowed.

Did Johnny dare? Why did Luke ask that? Now everyone was yelling at him to hit Luke. He couldn't, didn't want to, hit that adorable face! Johnny growled at him, saying in a low voice, "No, you and your brother aren't worth my time or my fists. I wouldn't want to **touch** you anyway— fag germs, ugh! Not my style."

Luke rolled his eyes and shook his head. Johnny was being a dick, but Luke knew he didn't mean a word of what he was saying. It was all for appearances so it didn't bother him much.

"Oooh! Johnny, he's rolling his eyes at you! Better do something. Hit him!"

Johnny wondered why Luke put him in this position? Luke had to know he needed to keep the facade of a hard ass in front of his friends. Was Luke trying to 'out' him? Humiliate him in front of everyone? He didn't understand. When Luke smirked at him, Johnny got burning mad. Luke was playing a dangerous game with Johnny's life and Johnny didn't appreciate it!

Johnny grabbed Luke by the front of his shirt and came close. He bellowed, his face red with rage and a fierce look in his eyes, "Wipe that fucking smile off your face or you won't have one when finish with you!" His face softened when he saw genuine fear in Luke's large eyes. He let go of Luke after a brief apologetic look in his eyes, and stepped back.

"You've got him where you want him! Hit him!"

Noah had watched the exchange and couldn't believe either Luke or Johnny. They were 'pushing' each other and it had gone too far. He yelled, "NO! Let's go Luke." and backed up to the door. Brooks pushed him into it and held him there.

"You're going alright, but with Sammy and Erik. Bye losers!" Brooks taunted with the glare of ill will in his eyes. "Take them out of my sight. They make me sick! You two," he eyed two seniors. "help the guys take the fags outside. Don't let 'em get away."

The two seniors and Sammy and Erik grasped Luke and Noah roughly by the arms to a large truck. The brothers tried to twist their way out of the football player's grasps to no avail.

They took Noah's cell phone and broke it on the driveway, then Luke and Noah were pushed into the bench seat behind the front seats. Noah grabbed Luke's hand and said, "At least we have each other."

Luke's head rested on Noah's shoulder while Sammy drove and Erik called them all sorts of degrading names. This time Luke kept quiet instead of making snappy comebacks. He was thinking about how mad Johnny had been. Luke knew he screwed up. Why did he think spying on his boyfriend was a good idea again? There was that older girl who had kissed his cheek and sat on his lap! Luke distinctly remembered telling Johnny that he didn't want girls hanging all over him and he was to tell them 'no' if they tried to. Johnny broke his promise, which ultimately ended their relationship. Luke had rules and his boyfriend decided to ignore them- to do what he wanted to do. Which, Luke thought, was to be seen at a party with his friends with a girl who was all over him so he would fit in.

"It's over between me and him." Luke whispered, playing with Noah's long index finger. "He promised me that he wouldn't be with a girl and he was."

Erik turned around. "Who are you talking about?"

"No one." Luke looked up, fearing he'd said Johnny's name. Had he? He couldn't remember.

Erik stared at Luke, giving him an evil eye, then made a cutting comment about gay people and turned around.

To Luke and Noah, it seemed like they'd been riding forever. Luke looked out, seeing the dilapidated farmhouse and barn. Sammy kept driving for another mile or two before he pulled over. He and Erik got out of the truck, each pulling a brother from the backseat. Erik pushed Noah hard to the gravel on the side of the road. Luke was pushed with force down the steep ditch. They didn't fight Sammy or Erik. They knew they had to save their strength to walk home or until they could find a house with interior lights on to phone Holden.

Luke crawled up the bank and sat next to Noah. His clothes were dirty and grass stained.

"Have fun perverts." Erik sneered and got into the truck. Luke sneered back then they both gave the truck the finger when it turned around and drove away.

"Well bro, ready for a real walk?" Luke stood up and offered his hand. Noah took it and was pulled up.

"Johnny is an ass." Noah remarked, walking aside Luke.

"Not really, well, tonight he was because I caught him." Luke said, kicking the rocks under his feet.

Noah explained with a strong voice, "No, I mean, he didn't even stick up for you at the house."

"He's not out. Why would he?" Luke mumbled. "Can you imagine what those guys would do to him? He'd be out here with us right now."

"He's your boyfriend Luke! He shouldn't care what others think if he has any respect for you." Noah shook his head. "It's not right. They way he talked to you. I wanted to hit him."

"It's complicated, but I was ok with it. I didn't let it bother me. You shouldn't either." Luke answered.

"Do you still like him?" Noah asked, calmer, taking a long glance at Luke.

"Yes." he answered, but he didn't know why he said yes. He was getting hurt over and over again.

Noah sighed sadly; there was nothing he could do. He wished he had a chance with Luke, but it wasn't meant to be.

Luke noticed that Noah's pace had slowed. He stopped and waited for him to catch up. When Noah did, Luke took his hand.

"It was some Saturday night, huh?" Luke chuckled in a cute way.

Noah smiled. "You could make getting hit by a truck amusing. I mean, you find humor in everything. That's really cool. Not many people can do that." he said, reminiscing about what Luke said when Brooks hit him in the stomach.

"Nothing lasts forever and people come and go. You can't let hate and anger bring you down. Life is too short to dwell on the things assholes say and do." Luke said, looking up, staring at the stars. It was a clear night. Brooks was wrong, it didn't look like rain. They continued to walk and eventually passed the old farmhouse.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 24

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Brooks asked Johnny with a lip curled up. The party is still on man." He hit Johnny's arm in a friendly way.

"Home. I'm bored." Johnny stated with an uninterested tone about staying here. "I got things to do."

"Dude, you can't go!" Brooks came close to him and said in a cheerful manner, "My sister is going to get us beer! You don't wanna miss that! Look at all the chicks that are here— get 'em drunk and have your way, man!"

"Beer? My parents would never let me out of their sight if I came home drunk." Johnny said firmly. He just wanted to leave!

"Stay overnight. Come on! You're my best bud, you have to stay." Brooks patted Johnny's cheek. "Dude, you **gotta** stay and party with us."

Johnny sighed. With a nod, he said, "Alright, but I really do have to go home and do some shit for my parents first. I'll come back later when the house is in full swing, ok?"

"Cool!" Brooks slapped Johnny on the butt, like all football players did. "Hurry back."

"I will, I don't want to miss a thing." Johnny faked a convincing smile. "Later." he added before he left.

Luke was silent, kicking the same rock for the past fifteen minutes. _Why did Noah and I go there? What a stupid idea! It was Noah's idea. Why did I feel compelled to agree to peek in windows? I was just supposed to call Johnny to meet him outside. Did Noah intend for this to happen? No, he's not conniving like that. He's my brother. He wouldn't put us in harms way, but damn that punch to the gut hurt like hell. Fucking football players. I'd love to teach them a lesson._

Noah didn't talk either, thinking that Luke had figured things out. He truly regretted going to Brooks's house. It was a stupid move and what did it accomplish anyway aside from getting ridiculed and punched? His motives were purely selfish and he now realized that he'd hurt Luke. He was resolved from now on not to come between Luke and his boyfriend, if Luke still had one. Johnny looked extremely ticked off when they were 'escorted' out of Brooks's house.

Luke and Noah continued on, figuring they walked about two miles and still had four to go until they were near the edge of town.

Luke spoke up, "I'm sorry my mouth got us in trouble." He kicked the rock away. It ended up on the other side of the road. "I have to learn to shut up."

"No. I like that you stand up to them. It shows that you're strong and won't back down. It's a good trait to have. You have a terrific personality and character. I wouldn't change a thing. Be you, you're a pretty cool guy, for a gay." Noah laughed and slapped Luke's arm. "Car, get over to the side."

They both moved to the grass on the side of the road. "Luke!" Noah yelled when he saw the car swerve off the road, heading straight for them.

"Shit! They're going to kill us!" Luke shouted his voice high pitched. He grabbed Noah's arm tightly.

The car screeched to a halt right before them, a mere foot between the bumper and their legs. Gravel kicked up behind the car and rained down. Luke and Noah tried to see who was driving, but the headlights filled their vision with bright light.

"Who is it?" Noah whispered.

"Don't know. I don't recognize the car. Should we make a run for it?" Luke asked, frightened that six huge football players would come out and beat and torture them. Why hadn't they come out to confront them. Luke gulped.

"I think we should." Noah replied to Luke's question about running to escape. They could run across the field and the car wouldn't be able to follow them. They heard a voice from the driver's open window before they could make a run for it.

"Get in you two dumb-shits!"

Luke took a hesitant step, telling Noah to follow him. He opened the back door, but he was immediately ordered to sit in the front by a very angry voice.

Noah got in the back of the car and mumbled a quick 'thank you'.

Luke sat in the front seat, wringing his hands and bouncing one leg nervously. Before the car was put into gear, Johnny yelled at Luke, "What the hell were you doing at Brooks's house? Spying on me? What the fuck Luke- you don't trust me? Is that it? You wanted to catch me with some girl, right?" He stared hard and intensely at Luke.

Luke slowly turned to Johnny, seeing anger flashing in his bluish-green eyes by way of the lit up control panel on the dashboard. "No, I was going to call when I got there and ask you to meet me outside. I just wanted to see you." he explained meekly.

"I don't believe you! You were peeking in windows Luke! You were checking up on me! What did you see? Huh? Did it satisfy your curiosity? You're both damn stupid to go there— and get caught to boot!"

"I did see you with a girl! You LIED to me!" Luke hardened his eyes and stuck out his chin defiantly. "You said you wouldn't--"

"She's Brooks's older sister, Luke! I've known her forever. There's no attraction there dumbass, or did you forget I'm gay and that I asked YOU to be my boyfriend?" he stated with rage, but muttered, "I can't believe you don't trust me after everything we've been to each other. After I promised you nothing would happen. How can a relationship strive on mistrust?"

"Johnny—"

Luke was interrupted by Johnny, "I don't expect an answer because nothing in the world can explain your behavior tonight. Not one damn thing, Luke." Johnny said, now quietly, as if he might break down. He put the car in gear and made an u-turn, heading back into town. "I'm dropping you both off and then I'm going back to Brooks's house, and if you show up again I'm not rescuing you. What you do will be your decision and the consequences will be on your shoulders. I can't protect you."

Luke wanted to talk to Johnny, but Noah was there in the car. He'd wait until they got home and tell Noah to go inside while he explained again what they were doing there. He still didn't understand it himself and he hoped by the time they were parked in the driveway that he would have some sort of revelation about what they were doing at Brooks's house.

The inside of the car was dead silent as Johnny drove into Oakdale. Even their breathing was quiet. As the car drove up Luke and Noah's street, Luke became anxious. He lost all coherent thought. What was he supposed to say? What could he say? He felt terribly guilty.

Johnny parked in the driveway and waited for the brothers to get out. Luke turned to Noah and said softly, "Go in, I'll be there in a minute." then he looked at Johnny's profile.

"Ok bro. Thanks for the ride, Johnny." Noah said and got out. Luke watched him approach the front door as he mustered up the courage to speak. Hoping Johnny wouldn't yell at him, he noted, "You look really nice tonight."

"What do you want?" Johnny said, finally turning to Luke. "You're home."

"Let's go somewhere and talk. I don't want to sit here and chance that my parents will see us." Luke raised his brows, hoping he looked desperate and Johnny would be open to talking to him.

Johnny took one look at Luke's big brown pleading eyes and fell for it. He nodded and questioned, "Where do you want to talk?" He turned away when he felt his anger melting away. He wanted to stay mad at Luke. Luke couldn't just go around stalking him! He needed his boyfriend to suffer a little bit so he wouldn't do this again.

"I don't know. We could drive to that abandoned farmhouse and park behind it."

"Fine." Johnny said stiffly and backed up. They drove to the farmhouse in silence. It would have given Luke time to gather his thoughts about what he could say, but it was pointless. He was afraid Johnny wanted to break up and Luke couldn't really blame him. He had done something really stupid. Johnny pulled into the gravel and weed covered driveway and drove in the long grass to park behind the unpainted, partially broken down barn. He turned off the headlights and the car and turned to face Luke. He put his arm on the steering wheel with the look of expectation in his eyes. "Well? What did you have to say to me that you couldn't in your driveway?"

Luke's heart seized seeing Johnny in the moonlight. He was absolutely beautiful. He fought for something, anything to say and was disappointed in himself when he did speak, "Can I blow you?"

Johnny's expression was one of disbelief. He shook his head with a discouraged sigh. Although he would have welcomed the question at another time under different circumstances, he replied firmly, "No".

"Sorry. I didn't mean... what I mean to say is," Luke coughed, humiliated by his own thoughtlessness. "You are right. I shouldn't have gone to Brooks's house and I shouldn't have spied on you and I should have given you the same amount of trust you give me. I have no excuse for my behavior other than my insane jealousy." Luke shrugged and looked down. "I hope you can forgive me."

"I think you got your punishment when Brooks got you in the stomach." Johnny laughed, teasing Luke. "Of course I'll forgive you, but... seriously, you have to ease off and really trust me. I wouldn't hurt you by cheating or letting a girl do something to me. Know why? 'Cause we're a couple now."

"You're right. My imagination ran away with me when I saw that girl kissing your cheek and sitting on your lap." Luke was ashamed. How could he accuse Johnny of cheating?

"It was one peck on the cheek to greet me when she came home. Am I going to have to wear one of those ankle bracelets so you know where I am at all times?" Johnny teased, a chuckle tagged on.

"No." Luke looked up. "I'll curb my curiosity and leave you alone."

"Well, don't leave me alone right now." Johnny undid his seatbelt and leaned toward Luke, kissing him on the mouth with a tenderness that Luke felt wasn't enough pressure. He circled Johnny's neck and drew him closer, increasing the force and the sensations sparking in their bodies.

Johnny placed his palm on Luke's cheek, kissing him, while Luke brushed his hand across the bulge in his boyfriends jeans. Johnny's hips instinctively bucked up. He whispered, "Luuuuke..."

"I'm gonna blow your mind." Luke said, working on Johnny's belt and jeans. Before he could reach inside his boyfriend's underwear, Johnny's cell phone rang.

"Shit!" Johnny exclaimed with frustration. He took the phone out of his pants.

"Don't answer." Luke implored, rubbing Johnny's erection through his underwear.

"I have to." Johnny stated, seeing Brooks's number. "I told Brooks I was coming back. He's wondering where I am. It'll be suspicious if I don't answer."

Luke moved back to the passenger seat, saying, "Go ahead."

Johnny answered the phone and heard Brooks shouting over the crowd in his house, "Dude! Where the hell are you? The beer is here and my sister invited some of her sorority sisters. They're hot and willing to get down and dirty! Get your ass back here!"

Luke could easily hear Brooks yelling into the phone. Sorority sisters? Beer? What next?

"I'll be there, don't worry. I have to finish up some business then I'll come back." Johnny unenthusiastically stated.

Luke wondered why Johnny wanted to go back when he could be here with him. _They're his friends, of course he's going to want to hang out with them. He has to._

"Buddy! Get here like an hour ago! What's so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?"

Johnny glanced at Luke. He was so tempted to say 'my boyfriend is more important', instead he said, "This IS important."

"Bullshit." Brooks laughed. "Get here or I'll come and get you."

Johnny squeezed his eyes shut. If Brooks went to his house, he'd know he hadn't been home.

"I'm almost done. See ya in a few." he hung up and redid his jeans and belt. "Sorry princess. Another time?"

Luke nodded. His jealousy flared up once again, he couldn't help it. Brooks and the team took precedence over him. Where did he rank? He was low on the list of Johnny's priorities.

"I know how you feel. I'm not going to drink and I'm not going to touch anyone. Guys or girls, ok?"

"Yes." Luke nodded again. Johnny started the car and drove Luke home, holding his hand the whole way. He parked in the street instead of the driveway and leaned over to kiss Luke. "I'll call you."

Luke gave him a faint smile. "See you." he said and got out of the car. Johnny watched him until he was safely inside, then he left for Brooks's house.

The house was dark as Luke crept through the rooms to the stairs. He tried to be quiet as he stepped, but he forgot about the creaky stair near the top. He paused, hoping Noah hadn't heard it. He didn't want to tell him about what happened. Noah would say he deserved better and he should come first, not the football team's party.

He made it to his room and smiled as he entered. He really didn't want to talk to Noah tonight. He turned on his light and his jaw dropped. There was Noah. In his lounge pants sitting on his bed.

Luke rolled his head. "What?" he asked a little annoyed.

"What? What? You're asking me what?" Noah chuckled. "Tell me what happened. Did you talk, did he yell, break up with you, make up? What? Gimme details, bro."

"We went for a drive and talked. I apologized and he accepted. That's all." Luke averted his eyes and decided to get a pair of shorts to sleep in.

"Come oooon...." Noah grinned, knowing something happened.

"What?" Luke asked innocently.

"What? Again with the 'what'?" Noah stood up and turned Luke around to see his face.

"Ok, fine- we made out, then that damn friend of his, Brooks, called when we were..." Luke stopped and switched direction of his conversation. "Brooks wanted Johnny to come back. He was going to go to his house and get him."

"That sucks. Why didn't he tell Brooks that he didn't want to go?"

"I guess he wanted to go after all. There's going to be beer and college aged girls there. Whoo hoo." Luke twirled his finger in the air.

Noah laughed. "You know, he cares a lot for you. I can tell when he was tearing you a new one in the car. My only worry is that he hurts you."

Luke waved his hand at Noah and said with a short laugh, "Don't worry about me."

"I do." Noah stated seriously. "You're my brother. I'll worry about you if I want to."

"I worry about you too." Luke motioned to the tv and game system. "Want me to kick your butt in a game of racing?"

"I'm the better driver. I got all the way here from Ohio without a license." Noah teased with a mile wide grin.

"That may be, but I'm cuter." Luke snickered and handed Noah a controller for the game. He turned on the tv and sat on the bed next to his brother.

Hours later, they fell asleep. Noah had lain on the bed and fell asleep when Luke went to the bathroom. Luke came back and smiled. He turned off the light and the tv and laid next to Noah, falling into a dream as he closed his eyes.

The blond had him up against the wall talking to him, coming on to him, flirting and complimenting him as she felt his muscular build.

"Wanna go upstairs?" she asked with her tongue drawing across her glossed upper lip. "I'll let you do anything you want." She ran her finger down his cheek. "You're my type of guy."

"I have someone." Johnny stated, exuding confidence and a little impatience.

"Is she here?" she asked, moving in closer, centimeters from his lips. He drew his head back, hitting it on the wall behind him.

"No, but we're dating." he replied.

"So? She'll never know. I won't tell." She brought her hands up and raked them through his hair. "You're so sexy." she purred.

"That's what my... girlfriend tells me. I really can't do anything with you. **I don't cheat and I'm really into my girl**." Johnny said between his clenched teeth.

She pouted and tried to kiss him. At the same time, she cupped his cock in her hand. "I'll let you 'get into me'. she said, over-flirting.

He moved his head, dodging the kiss. He was getting really good at that. And took her hand off his unaroused cock. "That's off limits. No one touches me there except one person, not including myself." Johnny stared her down before she walked away, complaining what a jerk he was.

Johnny sighed. Everyone here was pretty much drunk or passed out. He didn't belong here. Why was he here? He wished he had spent the night with Luke- not in the sexual sense, but talking and kissing and holding each other while they star-gazed. Was that corny? He'd never done that before and it almost sounded 'gay' to him, foreign. He decided that he didn't care. He could be whoever he wanted to be around Luke, his beautiful, blond haired, full lipped, gorgeous eyed princess, and not forgetting the body that went along with everything else.

He decided to leave. He felt disconnected, detached, no bond, nothing in common with anyone here. There was no reason to stay. The team was all about winning on the field, bullying those who were 'weaker' than them, getting laid, smoking and drinking and getting drunk.

Johnny stepped around Brooks, who was on the floor next to some half naked college girl. When he reached the door, he had to reach down and drag Sammy out of the way by his legs so he could get out. Once outside, he breathed in the fresh air as he walked to his dad's car. On the way home, he weighed the pros and cons of coming out, but the cons outweighed the pros. There was no way he could play on the team without them snubbing him, excluding him and even ignoring him on the field and in school. They'd make his life a living hell. Yet, he wondered why he cared. The same group of friends he had since grade school **should** accept him as he was, gay or not. It was reasonable to think that way, but it wasn't realistic. His 'friends' were no more than teammates and guys to play ball with and hang around on boring weekends, but he had Luke to hang around with now. He was torn.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 25

Warning: Johnny/Luke 'pairing' - no penetration

Saturday

Luke and Noah woke up in each others arms. They quickly rolled away from each other and laughed nervously.

"Oh good, you're both up. Get changed, we're going to visit grandma Emma and everyone else will be there too." Lilly said with a smile before kissing Luke on the cheek, then Noah. She thought they had been talking, not sleeping together.

"Cool." Noah grinned. "I want to thank Jack again for everything he's done for me and have some of those delicious cookies Emma makes!" He hungrily rubbed his stomach.

"I'm gonna stay here." Luke replied.

"No, really?" Noah asked. "Why?"

"I'm tired and I have homework to finish before tomorrow."

Noah understood. Luke didn't have homework, but he obviously wanted to 'work'.... on his boyfriend.

We don't have to make the visit with Emma a whole day affair." Lilly said.

"No, go on. I'll go next time, promise." Luke smiled innocently.

"Alright. I'll make up a plate of food and bring it home for you, any requests?" Lilly questioned, looking at Luke.

"Nah, I'm not that hungry. Well, maybe a small plate of food. Just potatoes, turkey, gravy, dressing, sweet corn, and some pie, but not if it's rhubarb."

Noah laughed, "You've got some appetite." he said to Luke.

"I'm a growing boy." Luke teased back.

"Noah," Lilly turned to him, "take your shower and get dressed. After breakfast we'll get a few groceries to make my jello salad at Emma's and we may as well find you some new sheets and a bedspread to make the guest room your bedroom. I know you must want to make it your own."

"Really?" Noah's grin was as wide as it could get. "I'd love to get new things."

"Yea, now that Noah is out, he can get the walls painted bubble gum pink and he can show his feminine side with a strawberry shortcake bedspread!" Luke burst out laughing; a full out belly laugh.

Noah socked him in the arm and muttered, "You want bedding with a fairy **princess** on it." He enunciated the word 'princess', knowing it was Luke's nickname and smirked at him.

"You know me so well!" Luke said sarcastically with a snicker. "Go shower, you smell."

"Alright you two." Lilly smiled. "See you downstairs."

"I smell?" Noah asked when Lilly left. "You're nose was buried in my armpit this morning. If I didn't know better, you liked the scent."

"So that's why my nose is covered in a slimy sticky coating that reeks of fish that have been dead for months." Luke teased.

Noah grabbed Luke and put him in a choke hold. "Listen you little shit. You're the one who smells like dead fish, in your underwear!" Noah laughed and raised his free arm and shoved Luke's face in his hairy armpit.

"Ugh!" Luke laughed and pushed Noah away. He plugged his nose and spoke with a nasally voice. "Gah you stink!" He laughed again, then screamed and quickly ran out of the room when Noah started to come after him. Luke giggled all the way down the stairs. Noah could hear him just before he shut the door to the bathroom.

Luke had finished breakfast and was sitting at the table. When Noah came down to eat, Luke stood up and mussed Noah's neatly combed hair. He leaned down and said, "Nice hair bro. Love the look." and snickered as he walked away- heading up to take his shower.

Noah scowled jokingly and patted his hair down.

"You and Luke are really getting along." Holden noticed, pouring juice into his glass. "That's nice."

"Just like when they were small." Lilly commented with a smile at Noah. "How is school? Still going well?"

Noah swallowed a mouthful of food and answered, "Great. I love it."

"Good." Holden was happy that Noah fit right in at Oakdale High. There weren't many gay kids in town, or perhaps they were keeping it a secret like Luke had. He knew how mean kids could be.

"Hurry up men. We have errands to run." Lilly stood up, clearing the table. She took Holden's plate before he was done eating and took it to the sink to rinse off.

Holden's expression made Noah laugh.

"I guess I'm done?" Holden stated and stood up, finishing his coffee and juice.

"I'm done too." Noah said getting up. He cleared his place setting and took it to the sink.

"Thank you Noah." Lilly said smiling sweetly.

"You're welcome. Thanks for a great breakfast." Noah said.

"Was it? I wonder. I didn't get to taste much of it." Holden teased her and pecked her on the cheek.

"You know you'll eat like a horse at Emma's. There's always more than enough food around." she swatted his butt.

"I'm going upstairs to say goodbye to Luke." Noah said, walking away.

"We'll leave once you come back down." Holden said, watching Noah leave the kitchen.

"He's a nice boy, aside from the car theft." Lilly laughed.

"I should sign him up for driving lessons. Luke too. They're old enough." Holden said thinking aloud.

"Oh, that would make their day!" Lilly said, wrapping her arms around her husband.

Noah knocked on the bathroom door.

"Who is it?" Luke asked, drying his back. He'd literally just stepped out of the shower.

"It's not Johnny." Noah laughed. "It's your bro, who else?"

"Oh, Noah?"

"Do you have another brother somewhere? Hidden in the attic or the basement? Come on..." Noah knocked again. "Let me in."

"It's open." Luke said. He wrapped the towel around his waist just after Noah opened the door and got a quick look.

Luke looked up and smiled. "How come you haven't left yet?"

Noah's unblinking eyes were on fire from the image of Luke's naked body before it was shielded with a towel. He felt odd. Turned on, but also guilty. He had to confess. "I saw your..." he coughed the word, "cock."

"Yea, I've had it since I was born. That's what makes me a male I guess." Luke turned away to snicker. "Don't worry. I won't tell mom and dad you like to peek in people's windows and peek at me when I'm dripping wet and naked after a shower."

"I wasn't trying to!" Noah made a face at Luke, joking, "In fact, you probably did it on purpose."

"Did not." Luke declared, eyeing Noah eyeing him. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." he laughed again.

"You're impossible. I came up to tell you goodbye, but now that I think about it, I want to ask you a favor."

"I'm not removing my towel so you can take a picture!" Luke giggled.

"You're cute when you're silly."

"You're silly when you're cute."

"Then I must be cute all the time." Noah smiled staring at Luke's face, so his eyes wouldn't wander lower.

"Ask me."

"Ask you what?" Noah tilted his head and there went his eyes, downward. He refused to look any further than Luke's abdomen. He licked his lips, thinking he could taste Luke on his tongue.

"The favor, dork." Luke snapped his fingers, making Noah look up.

"Oh the favor. I want—I want you to really think before you— I mean, I don't want you to just- jump into bed with Johnny."

"What are you saying?" Luke asked perplexed. What was Noah asking? What kind of favor was this. "Elaborate Noah, I don't get it."

Noah stared at the tile they were standing on. "I know you're going to be home alone and you'll probably invite him here, so I'm trying to ask you not to have sex with him. Please?"

"Why? Not that I was planning on it, but why?" Luke folded his arms across his chest and leaned his hip against the counter.

"I know you like each other a lot, but... shit! This is too hard! Forget it." Noah turned to leave.

Luke stepped forward and put a hand on Noah's shoulder. "Wait, you don't get to leave until I know what you want or need to say."

Noah turned back to Luke and gazed deeply into his eyes. He was uncomfortable and shifted his feet several times. "You like him and he likes you, right?"

"Yea." Luke answered as if Noah were dumb.

"So, people who only 'like' each other shouldn't have sex, that's all I'm saying." Noah said, trying to dissuade Luke from going all the way.

"Where did you get that wacky idea? People have sex all the time and they don't love each other." Luke laughed.

Noah felt like Luke was laughing AT him. It made him feel ashamed and in his embarrassment, he blurted out the truth. "I don't want you to have sex with him because he doesn't love you— I do!" Noah spun around and left Luke dazed and confused, thinking and wondering.

Luke overcame his shock, but by that time, his family had left. He walked to his room to get dressed, thinking... _Noah loves me? Of course he does, like a brother. No, like a guy. I can't handle this. I don't want him to love me. I care about him and his kisses are out of this world, but nothing good can come out of it. Everyone would be talking. 'Luke is dating his brother, Luke is fucking his brother, did you hear about Luke and his brother- incest!' No, I can't live with that! That's worse than coming 'out'. He's my brother and I look at him as such, that is, when I'm _**not**_ looking at him as my brother. No, No, NO! Things would NEVER work with Noah. Nope._

Luke dressed in black cargo pants with a black belt and put on a white, v-neck, tee shirt with black graphics on it. He hummed happily down the hall and picked up the phone. Johnny said he'd call, but Luke wanted to talk to him now. His mother picked up, or at least that's who he thought answered Johnny's cell phone.

Luke stammered, "I'm a friend of Johnny's is he available to speak... um, to me?" he rolled his eyes. Could he have sounded any more stupid?

"I'll go upstairs and check. He left his phone on the kitchen counter when he came in last night. I'm thinking it was because wanted to sleep in and not be disturbed."

Did Luke sense annoyance in her voice? Was he bothering Johnny? He almost hung up, but he didn't when he heard her knock on a door and say, "John. Wake up. There's someone on the phone for you."

Luke assumed the woman walked into Johnny's room. He heard Johnny groan irritably and say, "Who the hell is it? Who would call at— what time is it?"

"It's after nine." she said sternly, holding the phone out to him.

"I don't want to talk. I'm going back to sleep." he grumbled and covered his head with the blankets.

She came back on the line and said, "I'm sorry. He was at a party last night that ended really late. He's resting."

"Could you try again? Tell him it's Luke. Please?" Luke bit his nails one by one. He could hear Johnny's mother say, "He says his name is Luke, do you want to... I guess you do."

She said into the phone, "That woke him right up. Just a moment, he's putting on a shirt and shorts."

"Thank you." Luke's voice expressed joy. A smile appeared as he waited patiently for Johnny to come on the line.

"Go on ma! I don't need a babysitter. Jeez!" Johnny said, closing and locking the door behind his mom.

"Sorry about that." Johnny said to Luke. "How are you?"

"Excellent. I have the whole house to myself until around 2pm. Wanna come over?"

"Hell yea!" Johnny grinned. He wanted to spend the whole day, or as much as he could, with Luke.

"Get your ass over here as fast as you can." Luke purred into the phone. "I can't wait to see you."

"Shit!"

"What?"

"I can't drive over there. My friends know the kind of car my dad drives, my mom's too. Is there a way you can pick me up?"

"I don't have a license." Luke's mood plunged. "Damn."

Johnny rubbed his jaw as he thought and finally came up with a solution, "I can ask my mom to drop me off and pick me up later. I'll have to make up some lame excuse about why I'm coming over because she knows all my friends."

"Bring a textbook and a notebook and say we're studying together." Luke said.

"Shit! I can't ask her." Johnny became frustrated. "She knows your name now. If Brooks calls or someone else comes to my house to see me, she'd say I was at your house."

"Tell her you don't want anyone to know."

"She'd become suspicious. Let me try my brother. I hope he's here. I'm gonna ask him. Hold on." Johnny said and went to find his older brother. He came back on the line and squealed, "He's gonna bring me over as soon as I'm done taking a shower! I told him I had a date with a girl I met last night. I'll have him drop me off down the block and I'll walk up, ok?"

"I'll be waiting!" Luke answered in a high excited voice. He'd never gotten to spend this many hours with Johnny before. He was elated. Now he had to clean his room. He picked up dirty clothes and the towel and put them in a laundry basket in the bathroom, then he went downstairs and unlocked the front door, and then he went to the kitchen to grab two sodas and something for Johnny to eat, since he just woke up and hadn't had breakfast yet. He took the two slices of cold pizza and cans of soda to his bedroom. He turned on his tv and fluffed the two pillows and placed them against the headboard to lean against. He looked around and closed the curtains so it would appear romantic. Smiling he nodded at the job he'd done. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't matter- they would be alone.

Luke heard the phone ring and ran to answer it. "Hello?" he gasped.

"Well?"

"What?" Luke asked his brother.

"You know."

"No I don't, but if you're referring to sex, that's not your business and he's not here yet anyway." Luke replied. "What are you doing?"

"Walking around a grocery store. We're going to the bedroom store after this. Oh, I gotta go. I'm falling behind and I'm the one pushing the cart. Later and Luke, I meant it... before... what I said."

"I know." Luke closed his eyes. "We can't do that, go there. Understand?"

"I do understand. I wanted you to know how I feel." Noah said softly into the phone. "Ok, I really gotta go now. I'm getting the evil eye from dad."

Luke laughed and hung up. As soon as he did, the phone rang. "Forget something?"

"Uh, Luke?" Johnny said quietly.

"Hi! I thought you'd be here by now. I have the room all set up. I hope you like cold pizza and soda for breakfast. It's on my bed so technically, you could say I'm serving you breakfast in bed." Luke chuckled.

"I can't come." Johnny said sadly. After what Luke just told him about setting things up, he felt horrible.

"W-Why?" Luke's heart sank- a look of sorrow blanketed his big brown eyes.

"My brother got a call. He had to go into work. Luke, babe, I feel awful about this. What can I do to make it up to you?" Johnny stated with worry that he let Luke down.

"Nothing. You can't help it." Luke replied to Johnny while he stared down at his feet. "There's nothing." he whispered, his voice getting caught in his throat.

"Don't cry!" Johnny said, "It's not that bad, is it? I get that you're disappointed, but we'll have other times, right?"

"I guess...."

Johnny rolled his eyes. Luke was a pouter, just like Denise had been when she didn't get her way, but this was different. He didn't give in to Denise because he didn't care if he pleased her or not. With Luke, he wanted to please him, more than anything. "I'll find a way. I'll get there somehow. Keep that pizza and soda on ice for me, princess. I'm coming."

"Are you going to ride your white horse and wear your shining armor?"

"Not quite. I was thinking of going **nude** on my horse like Lady Godiva." Johnny laughed.

"So you DO pay attention in History class." Luke giggled softly. "I'll see you through rain or shine, through sleet or snow and night or day."

"Ok." Johnny shook his head, was Luke kidding--? because that was a really stupid joke. "I'll see you too. Bye."

Luke hung up and danced downstairs to wait for Johnny.

Luke ran to the door and flung it open, he grabbed Johnny's arm before a word was spoken and pulled him inside. When the door was closed, Luke pushed Johnny to the door and held him there by using the force of his body against him.

"Well hello." Johnny said with a lustful tone in his voice.

Luke didn't say a word. His bright eyes searched Johnny's before he smashed his lips to his boyfriend's lips. Johnny's eyes widened, then he moaned and closed them- wrapping his arms around Luke's body.

Their lips pushed and slid against each other. A tongue was introduced, then another. They shared moans and clutched at each other passionately. Johnny broke away and pulled Luke's shirt over his head. He held it in one hand as he asked, "We're all alone?"

"Yea, no one is here." Luke replied taking the hem of Johnny's shirt and lifted it over the blonds head. "Lets go to my room. We can watch tv and eat, or talk."

"Or fool around." Johnny smiled and pinched Luke's butt. "Show me the way."

Luke turned and showed Johnny the rooms downstairs, then the ones upstairs. They came back to Luke's room and entered. "This one's mine."

"What the hell Luke." Johnny looked confused as he stared at the little bed and toy chest. "Do you have a kid?"

Luke laughed. "No. That bed is actually Noah's."

"I hate to tell you, but I doubt he's comfortable in it. As inviting as it looks with Thomas the Tank Engine on it, I would think his legs hang off the bottom, not to mention I don't think he could turn over without falling off." he teased, still staring at the bed.

Luke was laughing, so Johnny went on.

He looked at the shelf above the small bed and commented, "And he likes dinosaurs too! Does he get in trouble for playing with them instead of doing his homework?"

"God," Luke laughed, "You're so funny!"

"How do you like sharing a room with a brother that's perpetually five years old?"

"Shut up... let me explain."

"I get it. You two shared a room when you were little and he was kidnapped. You grew up and he hadn't in your mind. You kept things as they were for him... for you, so you wouldn't forget or maybe you were hoping he'd come back right away and his bed would be waiting for him, kinda like the ring you wear." Johnny said, taking Luke's hand and running his fingertip across the smooth surface of the large fake gem.

Luke replied in a whisper, "You're right. You're so right."

Johnny's eyes lifted from the ring to Luke's glimmering eyes. "It's ok, go ahead and cry. Real men do, you know." he smiled and kissed a tear that was rolling down Luke's warm cheek. "Come with me. We'll sit on the bed and I'll hold you."

True to his promise, Johnny held Luke and calmed him down when Luke needed it. When everything was fine, Luke held the slice of pizza for Johnny and fed him. He took a number of nibbles too. When the soda was gone, they laid back and relaxed, watching tv and talking.

Johnny glanced at Luke and interrupted his concentration on the movie he was watching.

"I've thought about the pros and cons of coming out." he said, waiting for Luke's reaction.

Luke sat up and twisted around to face his boyfriend. "You can't! Your friends would totally hate you! They'd have you kicked off the team and then they would pick on you. You can't."

"I know that's what would happen, but I was thinking last night at Brooks's house. The whole team was there and all those guys want is women, alcohol and to win a stupid game. I thought I got it when I joined last year, but I don't. I've known most of the guys since I was a fifth grader or earlier. I don't really 'know' them. We don't talk about stuff like you and I do. All they want to do is brag-- I fucked her or I got fucked up last night. They talk about the game last week and I honestly don't care about it. It was LAST week! Why dwell on it? I'm not into that scene anymore. Since I met you, I've been into you more than I've been into anything.

Luke smiled sweetly. "You're adorable."

"Tell me something I don't know." Johnny teased and swept in for a quick kiss.

"Tell me about your family." Luke settled back onto the bed. Laying with his hands laced behind his head.

Johnny placed his hand flat on Luke's bare chest and slowly ran it up and down. "My little sister is in fourth grade, my older brother graduated last year and works as a manager in an office supply store. My parents are ticked off that he doesn't want to go to college right away. Umm, my mom and dad are lawyers for different firms. They're searching for a place where they can open up their own place. They've made some offers, but haven't heard back yet. Then there's me."

"Mmm," Luke moaned. "The most interesting member of your family, tell me all about you." he asked with interest and a smirk on his face.

"Ok, Well... I was nineteen inches long and 7 pounds 3 ounces when I was born at Memorial hospital...."

"No." Luke tickled the armpit closest to him. "Tell me about you. What do you like, dislike, stuff like that.

"I'm boring."

"C'mon."

"What? I am!" Johnny neared Luke's face to kiss him, but Luke pulled back.

"Not until you give me something."

"I'm gay." Johnny stifled a giggle when he saw Luke's dark expression. "Oh alright. Something I like.... hm, I like kissing you," his fingers traced Luke's lips, "I like touching you," his hand ran down Luke's chest to his stomach and massaged it gently, "I like your cock," Johnny's hand cupped Luke there as he rose up on his elbow and looked down on Luke. "And, I like you."

"I like you too." Luke smiled crookedly, feeling his boyfriend's hand squeeze between his skin and his waistband to get into his underwear. Luke helped by undoing his belt and pants.

Johnny got up and stood next to the bed. He pulled the rest of Luke's clothing off, staring at Luke's body in the dim light. "Can I open the curtains? I want to see you."

"Take off your clothes first." Luke asserted. He watched Johnny strip sensually for him.

Just for him

"You're so handsome." Luke said adoringly when Johnny turned away from the open curtains, naked.

"Thanks. You're beautiful, princess." Johnny laid next to Luke. Facing each other, their hands explored the body before them, lightly massaged backs and thighs, passing over muscled asses and gently stroking manhoods.

"Wanna sixty-nine?" Johnny asked, his eyes half open and his body tightening due to the contact with Luke's hands and lips.

"What's that?"

Johnny chuckled. "I've heard the guys talk about it and what they do with the girls. I'll just show you, and if you want to, fine. If not that's cool too. No pressure."

"Ok, show me." Luke said, watching Johnny lay the opposite direction that he was in. He sat up and said, "Just wait. I'm going to close the door."

"Why? You said no one is here and I didn't sell tickets." He grinned when Luke gave him an eye roll at the joke.

"Alright asshole, where do you want me?" Luke asked.

"Just lay down, smart ass." Johnny spoke, staring at his naked boyfriend's body. He tenderly began to jack Luke off while his head neared Luke's cock. He lapped at it, then kissed it and took the head in his mouth and rolled his tongue on the underside of it. He pulled off and said, "See? You can do me at the same time.... if you want."

Luke sighed. It felt so good to have his cock sucked. Johnny probably wondered if he would be as good or better than the way Denise did it. "I want to." he said, taking the hot muscle in his hand and stroking it. He looked at the head of Johnny's cock and wondered what it would taste like. He watched the slit open more when his fist went down the shaft of his cock and saw a little drop of liquid dribble out. He quickly caught it with his tongue, tasting it. He heard an erotic moan from Johnny, and tried to squeeze more of that sweet liquid out.

Luke grunted, feeling Johnny suck hard and pull his head back at the same time, then shove his mouth back down, covering his cock. Luke thought it was about time he got moving. He went slow to enjoy himself and so he could get used to having something huge in his mouth. He moved his head back and forth, feeling how Johnny was doing him, and was rewarded with a long moan on his cock. The shock waves burst throughout him. He moaned on Johnny's cock; feeling him shiver with excitement. Their motions became urgent sensing the other was about to release. Luke was a little hesitant and worried he'd hate the flavor, but at the same time, he wanted it too.

Their hips jerked forward as their release spilled into the other boy's throat. Luke couldn't swallow fast enough. It escaped from the sides of his mouth and dripped down. He almost began to laugh, but concentrated on jacking and swallowing. It was hard to, especially with Johnny's mouth on his cock. Luke began to quiver as he finished cumming. He felt his boyfriend shudder; his mouth pulling off too.

Luke rolled away, panting and saying, "Holy shit" over and over and over. This was intense! He could just imagine how sex would be with Johnny. He saw his boyfriend's chest heaving with every deep breath he took. He sat up, wiped his mouth on his sheet, then crawled up and laid the same way Johnny was. Luke took his hand and smiled at him.

"I want to ask, but I don't want to spoil the mood." Luke said looking into bluish-green eyes that weren't quite in focus yet.

"Wonderful, terrific, awesome." Johnny smiled and reached over with his hand to lay it on Luke's cheek. "Amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Luke beamed with the compliment. "You too. You were fantastic, as always."

"Mmm" Johnny hummed, closing his eyes. "Get over here and lay closer to me."

Luke moved closer and laid his head on Johnny's shoulder. "How's this?"

"No, closer."

"I can't. This is as close as I can get without laying ON you." Luke chuckled; Johnny didn't.

"That's what I want."

"Oh, are you sure? I might be too heavy---"

"Princess, I've had three football players land on top of me at once. I probably won't even feel you."

"Ok." Luke said sitting up. He lowered himself slowly onto Johnny and heard, "OOF! You ARE heavy." then Johnny slapped him on his bare butt and squeezed it. "Get down here babe."

Luke faked an angry expression before he laid his head next to Johnny's.

"Feel that?" Johnny asked.

"What? Our heartbeats?"

"No our squishy dicks pressing against each other. YES, our hearts!" Johnny laughed and gently scratched Luke's back- all over. It relaxed Luke and he closed his eyes. Johnny was tired too. He closed his eyes- slowly his hands stopped scratching and just held Luke as he fell to sleep.

The shrill ringing of the phone from the hall woke Luke. He gently hoisted himself off Johnny, who was sleeping soundly. He tiptoed out of the room, naked, and answered the phone.

In a rushed, hurried, frantic voice, Holden yelled, "You have to get to the hospital right now. Immediately! Go to Alan's and ask his parents to bring you down and get here as fast as possible.

Luke asked fearfully, "Dad, what happened? Is it grandma?"

"It's Noah!" Holden held back a sob and hung up. 

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 26

Warning: violence, name calling...

Still Saturday

Luke ran to his bedroom after he got off the phone, after hearing that something happened to Noah. He shook Johnny awake, calling out loudly, demanding his attention, "Get up now!"

When Johnny sat up, he saw Luke getting dressed rapidly."What's the hurry? Are your parents home?" he asked, stretching his body.

Luke took a very brief moment to appreciate Johnny's nakedness, then he put his shirt on. "No," he began to break down as the reality hit him of what his dad said. The initial shock was wearing off and he knew the situation could be really bad according to how panicked his dad sounded on the phone. He spoke in broken sentences, "Noah. Dad didn't say. Get to the hospital now."

Johnny realized how urgent the matter was and got dressed. "How are you getting there?" he asked taking Luke by the shoulders.

"I- I'm supposed to call Alan's dad. Oh god... what happened to Noah?" Luke cried on Johnny's shoulder.

"Forget Alan's dad. I drove here and I'm taking you." Johnny said, pulling Luke along.

Luke stopped. "Someone might see you. See us together. You can't." He sniffled loudly.

"I don't give a fuck! Let's go!" Johnny yelled to get through to Luke and ran with him to the front door. Johnny sped to the hospital where Lilly was waiting for Luke in the atrium.

"You're here. Thank god!" she hugged him, looking at Johnny and the very obvious hickey on his neck. "Who's this?"

"Johnny, he's.... a friend." Luke answered. "Where is Noah? What happened? Is he alright?" he asked with excessive fear while the three of them walked swiftly to the elevators.

"He wanted to ride, so Holden saddled up 'Autumn Spirit' for him. She's the calmest one you know." Lilly dabbed her eyes with a tissue she'd fished out of her purse.

Johnny asked with growing worry for Noah's safe being, "Is that a horse?"

Luke looked at him with his eyes full of tears- nodding as they walked into the elevators.

"Holden went with him, he rode 'Midnight Dreamer'. They went through the woods to the pond. Holden said Noah's horse was spooked by a garden snake and reared up, throwing Noah off. He hit his head on a good sized rock! He's getting a scan now, but honey, he hasn't woken up. He's been unconscious this whole time." She looked down; trying to be strong.

Luke felt like he'd left his stomach on the first floor of the hospital. "What does the doctor say?" his voice screeched when he spoke.

"They won't know until the doctor reads the scan." Lilly sighed heavily.

Luke's back fell against the wall of the elevator, the rail that ran along it hit his spine and caused a sharp pain, but that didn't hurt as much as the pain in his heart for Noah. He covered his eyes and cried. He couldn't lose his brother. Why didn't he go with them to Emma's today? He could have prevented this somehow, couldn't he? He blamed himself for being selfish, wanting to spend time alone with his boyfriend instead of his family.

Johnny nervously glanced at Lilly before he approached Luke to take him in his arms. There was nothing he could say, but he could be there for Luke, comfort and console him. Luke faltered forward and hugged him as tight as he could.

Lilly watched the two boys and concluded that Johnny was more than a friend to Luke, which was fine with her, but she wished Luke didn't feel the need to hide the fact that he had a boyfriend. The elevator doors opened and Lilly stepped out. Facing them again, she said, "Boys, Holden is in Noah's room waiting for news. I'm going there, coming?"

Luke and Johnny looked at Lilly, then their eyes deviated from her sorrowful face to the person standing behind and to the left of her-- to the person that was glaring at them.

Johnny quickly dropped his hands from around Luke's neck and sidestepped to the left, away from Luke.

Luke answered his mom, knowing Johnny had to deal with Brooks. "I'm coming mom. What room is Noah in?"

"435." she stated in a tired, over-stressed, emotional voice.

Luke wanted to be sure Johnny knew the number and felt compelled to repeat it, but with Brooks glowering at Johnny with a sneer and dominant posture, he couldn't acknowledge Johnny or even thank him for giving him a ride to the hospital. He stepped out without a glance back and intended to catch up to his mom, but Brooks grabbed his arm.

"No, stay for a moment. I have to talk to you." He said to Luke, then eyed Johnny with repulsion.

"I'll be just a minute mom." Luke called out in a strained way due to the squeezing pressure from Brooks's hand on his arm.

"Don't be too long." Lilly said over her shoulder and walked away.

Johnny had stepped out of the elevator and was standing before Brooks. "Let him go. His brother has been hurt badly."

"I don't give a flying fuck! What I do care about is what I saw when the elevator doors opened!" Brooks yelled, but quietly enough that attention wasn't drawn to them. "You were hugging this fag!"

"He just found out about his brother! Have a heart Brooks!" Johnny stepped closer, pulling Luke out of his clutches. "Go to your family." he told Luke, but Luke shook his head.

"GO!" Johnny yelled very loudly, tightfisted and frowning at Luke.

Luke jumped, but he stood his ground.

Brooks pushed Luke. With an icy stare, he said, "Didn't ya hear? Are you deaf as well as dumb and queer?"

"Stop it!" Johnny defended. "Enough of this shit. Leave him alone, deal with me instead-- IF you think you can handle it!"

Brooks's eyes traveled up and down and over Johnny's body. He spat with disgust, "You're a fag too. I should have known when you wouldn't fuck any of your so called girlfriends You're a sissy Johnny. You had us all fooled that you were so cool, a real guy, a football player. Some **friend** YOU turned out to be!"

"I'm still the same guy. Nothing has changed." Johnny said angrily, crossing his arms.

Luke started to speak in a peaceful way, "Maybe--"

Books pointed at him, then jabbed his chest with a hard finger and a venomous look in his eyes. "Shut up!"

Luke pressed his lips together. He couldn't think of a comeback. His mind was divided between Johnny and Noah.

Brooks eyes snapped to Johnny. "When I tell the guys, they're going to be so disgusted. You're going to be thrown off the team, no one will want to toss the ball to you or tackle you at practice. No one will want to touch you." He said, wrinkling his nose and raising one side of his upper lip, staring at him with deep abhorrence in his furious, judgmental brown eyes.

"So you say. What proof do you have that I'm gay? I gave him a 'effin hug Brooks. That's all, you didn't see me kiss the guy." Johnny growled fiercely, perturbed at the guy he'd known most of his sixteen years.

"That's right! He ONLY hugged me Brooks." Luke had an idea and went with it. Since he was right next to the thug, he quickly hugged Brooks. Of course he got thrown off. "See? I hugged you too, does that make you gay?" Luke snickered and began to walk away.

Brooks shouted angrily at Luke,"You're going to get it when you least expect it faggot!"

Luke turned around, and walking backwards, he said, "I'll be waiting jock-hole!" He put up his middle finger before he rounded the corner to find Noah's room.

Brooks was still unnerved and spun back to Johnny. "You're saying you aren't gay? I don't believe you." he said, his teeth clenched together and that accusatory look hadn't left his eyes yet.

But Johnny wasn't afraid of him, he did nothing to incriminate himself in any way. Hugging a guy wasn't a sure sign of 'gay' behavior. He shrugged as if he didn't have a care in the world. "I don't have anything to prove to you. I don't answer to you and I don't care what you think."

"What are you doing here then? Why were you with the 'princess'?" Brooks seemed to settle down, but his words were still harsh and insinuating something about what he saw wasn't right.

"I told you. I was in the elevator and they came in. His mom was talking about his brother, Noah, who fell off a horse- he's unconscious. They were crying and I gave him a hug. That's it. Jesus fucking hell, Brooks! I hug you after you get tackled to make sure you're alright- the whole team does!"

Brooks furrowed his brow as he thought, then came back with, "But that's just it! We're a team! He's gay! Dude, you can't have sympathy for guys like that. I bet he thinks that you like him or that you're his boyfriend or something." Brooks shuddered, "Fucking disgusting! I can't believe you touched him. Don't you want to shower or something?"

Johnny laughed, "Yea, that's where I was headed." He pointed to the bathroom, "Wash the 'princess' off my hands."

"You should have worn one of those hazmat suits!" Brooks laughed, completely at ease.

"Oh yea, because 'gay' is going around. Don't wanna catch it." Johnny smiled.

"Got that shit right. Damn you, Johnny." Brooks shook his head and put a hand on his back. "I almost lost ya. I really thought... well, you know. I'm sorry man. I should have known better. I just saw you and him and I almost lost my lunch. Still friends?"

"Yea, sure." Johnny smiled and looked away. "Luke isn't such a bad guy. He's nice once you get to know him."

"I don't want to get to know him. Keep all guys who like cock up the ass and in their mouths away from me. I don't like 'em, I don't have respect for them and the world would be better off without them. They can't procreate so what is their purpose? Bunch of perverts if you ask me."

_No one asked you fucker!_ Johnny frowned.

"I just got done spending some time with my grandma. What are you doing for the rest of the day? We could hang out."

"Can't. I'm also visiting. A friend of my parents had back surgery and I said I'd stop by and keep him company for a while." Johnny lied, believably. "Bye." He was getting too good at lying. _I don't want to lie my whole life in order for people to like me. I'm really hating being in the closet, but if the whole team reacts the way Brooks did, then I'm dead meat. They'll hate me, probably beat me up and leave me for the vultures. Maybe I should quit football and make other friends? Would Luke's friends accept me or did I do too much damage by teasing Luke? Hm, Luke forgave me. Noah kind of likes me. Maybe that girl and the guy with the glasses will forgive me? I have to ask Luke._

"If you get time, me and some of the guys are getting together tonight to toss the ball around at the park. You should come." Brooks suggested strongly.

"I'll see how this goes first. Hospitals tire me out." Johnny said and waved as he walked away.

Brooks kept a close narrowed eye on him before he decided to leave.

Johnny opened the bathroom door after hiding for five minutes, hoping that Brooks had left. He casually walked out and looked around, trying to walk to Noah's room unnoticed. He made it to room 435, seeing the door was closed. He didn't want to intrude, but like he told Luke before, he wanted to be there for him if only to hold his hand; whatever Luke needed, he'd provide.

He leaned against the door and debated about knocking. He decided to talk to Luke, then he'd know if he was welcome or not. His hand rose and he knocked lightly. He heard a chair scrape across the floor and footsteps.

Luke opened the door, saw his boyfriend, and felt some tension in his body recede. "Hi, come in." He said and took Johnny's hand.

"Are we alone or are your parents inside?" Johnny whispered and nodded to their hands.

"Oh right." Luke started to untangle their laced fingers.

"Forget it." Johnny held tight. "I don't mind."

Luke's face brightened the hall when he grinned. "You're so awesome."

"Not really. I convinced Brooks I was straight. I had to, the things he said about gays just made me ill. Enough about him, how's your brother?"

"Not conscious yet, come in. we're waiting for the doctor. Sit with me, or do you have to leave right away?" Luke asked, wanting to pull Johnny into a hug. He squeezed Johnny's hand instead.

"I can stay, but it's a matter of whether your parents want me here or not."

"I'm sure they don't mind. I'll introduce you." Luke drew Johnny into the room and announced. "Mom and dad, this is Johnny. Johnny, this is my dad and that's my mom, whom you've already met."

Holden stood up and shook Johnny's hand. Lilly already filled him in that she thought Johnny was Luke's boyfriend. "It's a pleasure to meet a new friend of Luke's, are you in the same grade?"

"Yes sir." Johnny answered. "We run in different clicks too."

Luke said proudly, "Johnny is on the football team. That's why he's so muscular."

Lilly looked away and bit her lip to keep from laughing. Her son had a thing for big football players? But when she turned her head, Noah was right there lying in the hospital bed with a bandage on his head. This was no laughing matter. She stood up and took his hand as she whispered in his ear. "Noah, I know you can hear me. Come back to us honey. Wake up and talk to me. Oh Noah... my poor boy." She kissed his cheek and went to the bathroom to get a warm, wet washcloth to wash his face.

"How long have you known each other then?" Holden quizzed Johnny, his eyes dropping down to ponder the meaning of them holding hands.

"Well, just recently. I've gone to Oakdale high my whole life and he and I never talked before--- until a few months ago." Johnny explained, a little afraid of Luke's dad's concerned look on his face.

"So you're friends?" Holden asked skeptically. He wished Luke didn't feel the need to hide this or be ashamed.

"Um" Luke looked at Johnny, wanting him to answer the question.

"Sir, If I can be blunt-" Johnny was soft-spoken and shy.

"Go ahead Johnny. We don't hide things from each other in this family, usually." Holden smiled gently at Luke's friend.

"Good to know." Johnny swallowed his fear. He looked at Luke and smiled and said, "Luke is my boyfriend and has been for a little while."

"Is that right." Holden stated with his eyebrows high.

"Yes dad." Luke snickered.

Holden stood up. "Is he the reason you didn't want to go to grandma's today?"

Luke hung his head. Nodding he mumbled, "Yes, see, he isn't out and we don't get time together so I thought---"

"I got it. I was a boy with a girlfriend at your age too. I know I gave you the straight sex talk, but--"

Luke couldn't have been more humiliated at the moment. "Dad... not now." He shook his head. "We aren't doing 'that'. God, embarrass me more."

"Ok, how about I tell your boyfriend about the time you went trick or treating as a princess in a pink dress and a magic wand?" Holden laughed. "He was four, Johnny, and he insisted on that outfit because he thought on Halloween, the magic wand would work."

"Aw, such a princess." Johnny said near Luke's ear and laughed. "I knew it, you want to dress up as a girl."

"Noah went as his prince charming. They were so cute." Holden said, recalling the night.

"That's made a great image in my mind, sir." Johnny still laughed. "Oh Luke, what am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing right now." Holden said eyeing both boys, insinuating that they not be affectionate at this time. Johnny reddened. Luke told him to take a seat while he went to his brother's bedside to see if he could do anything.

Luke smiled at his mother and asked for a moment alone. Lilly finished wiping Noah's forehead and stepped away after she closed the curtain so Luke could have some privacy.

Luke looked down at Noah's peaceful looking face. It was too peaceful looking, as if he were in a casket. The uninvited thought scared Luke so bad that he leaned down and laid on Noah's chest, checking his heartbeat. The steady rhythm of thump-thump steadied his nerves.

"Noah, you can't do this. You have to come out of this. You can't leave me again." he whispered forcefully, but only so that Noah would hear him- if he could. "Please bro, you keep leaving me and I can't handle it. I need you Noah. I need you in my life. Remember what you said to me this morning? You said you love me. Well, I love you too, just in a different way right now. I don't know how things are going to turn out, but---" Luke became choked up and couldn't speak. He began to weep, tears falling on Noah's gown.

Johnny, Lilly and Holden heard a muffled cry from behind the curtain.

"Uh, can I?" Johnny pointed to the curtain.

"Go ahead." Holden nodded.

Lilly stood up. "Take care of him Johnny." she said and added that she was going to the cafeteria and bring back lunch for each of them.

Johnny cautiously pulled the curtain back and stood next to Luke, rubbing his back. "Luke, are you ok?"

Luke stood up and wiped his eyes. He looked at Noah, praying he would be alright, before he hugged Johnny. "He's not waking up." Luke said, laying his head on Johnny's strong shoulder.

"I know. Maybe he needs this rest to recover." Johnny suggested, trying to ease Luke's pain and give him hope.

The door opened and a doctor in a white coat carrying a large yellow folder entered the room. Johnny, Luke and Holden gathered around him. "I'm Dr. Shelby. I've reviewed the images of the cross sections from Noah's ct scan." he said, sitting at the desk at the computer. He typed in his password and brought up Noah's head shots. "This here," he pointed with his finger. "is a fracture on his skull due to his fall. It's not life threatening, but he does have a minimal amount of fluid surrounding his brain. The only thing I'm concerned about at this time is his unconsciousness. Keep talking to him, gently shake him, things like that. I'll have a nurse check on him in a few and if he does come out of it, please let someone know."

"We definitely will. Thank you Dr. Shelby." Holden shook the doctors hand. After the doctor left, he turned to Luke. "That's good news, right?"

Luke nodded. "Thank god. Now we just need to wake up his lazy butt."

Holden waved his hand at the curtain, "Get to it then." He smiled. Lilly walked in and Holden went right to her, taking bags of food, then told her to take a seat. He explained what the doctor said. She was ecstatic. They all were. Lilly skipped lunch and spent time with Noah, talking to him, massaging his arms and chest to get him to wake up.

Holden took over after a half an hour so she could rest, then Luke and Johnny took a turn, one on each side of Noah. Talking, holding Noah's hand and gently shaking his shoulders.

Johnny covered his mouth and yawned. He noticed the time and said, "I have to go. Brooks and the guys are getting together to toss the ball around. Are you ok here?"

"Yea." Luke looked around. The curtain blocked them. He walked around the bed and hugged Johnny. "Thank you for being here. I really appreciate you doing this for me." he drew back and gazed into Johnny's bright bluish-green eyes and smiled. He whispered, "This morning was awesome with a capital 'A'. I can tell, you're going to be bad for me."

Johnny was caught off guard and laughed loudly. He said in a quiet tone, "I think we could be bad together, princess. Oh, I'm sorry about what I said earlier, with Brooks. I didn't mean it. You know that, right?"

"Yes." Luke held Johnny's head and pulled it to his face. They touched noses and smiled at each other before they got the same idea and brushed their lips across each others. Their kiss graduated into an energetic force.

"Luke?" Lilly asked from the other side of the curtain. "How is it going?"

Luke's impassioned eyes shone when he looked at his boyfriend and answered his mother, "Great!"

"Has he moved or opened his eyes?" she asked excitedly and pulled the curtain open. She saw her son and Johnny in an embrace, then they quickly pulled apart. "I **meant** with Noah, not with Johnny."

"He's fine." Luke looked at Noah. "Still the same. I was just telling Johnny thank you for bringing me and saying goodbye. He's going to play with his friends. I mean, play ball with them." Luke giggled.

Johnny moved close to Luke and whispered, "Bye princess, let me know if he wakes up or if anything else happens. 'Kay?"

"I will. Bye." Luke smiled and watched Johnny walk away, remembering this morning with his boyfriend in his bedroom. He turned back to Noah. Lilly and Holden stood on the other side of Noah, talking to Luke so Noah could hear. It wasn't an intellectual conversation, just one so that Noah could hear them and possibly wake him up.

Johnny went home and changed into shorts and a tank top, thinking about Luke and Noah and how he felt bad for both of them. Luke, because he was upset about Noah, and Noah because he was hurt and unconscious.

He drove to the park with his football on the passenger seat in case they were going to split into pairs. He parked, seeing Brooks, Sammy and Erik sitting on a picnic table talking. He grabbed his ball and got out of his car. Walking to the guys, he wondered if Noah had opened his eyes yet. He was too distracted to play and decided to tell the guys he couldn't stay.

"There he is." Brooks smiled at Johnny and jumped off the table. Erik and Sammy did too, facing Johnny.

"What took you so long?" Sammy asked, irked.

"Nothing, where's everyone else?" Johnny asked, looking around with confusion at the forefront of his mind. Where **was** everyone?

"It's just us. No one else could make it." Erik told Johnny while walking around him. "Brooks said you were at the hospital earlier today. Everything alright?" He asked, looking Johnny up and down.

Johnny took a step back, asking fearlessly. "Is this what this is about? I told Brooks what was going on! I hugged the guy, so fucking what!" The alarms went off in his head.

"Really?" Sammy snickered meanly, disagreeing, "Brooks said it was more than a hug. He said you were bumping your dicks together."

"In the fucking elevator with his fucking mom right there?" Johnny snarled combatively. He took another step away to distance himself from the three football players who seemed to have a malicious intent in mind. However, the three moved forward for each retreating step he took. "I don't think so." Johnny made a sour expression. "You guys are sick. I wouldn't _bump my dick_, as you say, anywhere on a fucking guy, especially **him**. I'm into chicks! What the fuck are you three thinking? A **guy**?"

"I'll tell you what we're thinking Johnny." Brooks replied, the tone in his voice sounded charged up-- the words 'thinking' and 'Johnny' came out in an exaggerated, sarcastic way. "We're thinking you're a queer like your friend."

"You guys are my friends!" Johnny snapped back. "I'm not a effin' homo!"

Sammy and Erik scoffed. What Brooks had told them convinced them that he was and they were furious. Aside from being hateful and hostile about finding out, all three were nauseated and uneasy when they thought about being in the showers with Johnny, tackling him in practice, hugging him, slapping him on the ass when he scored a touchdown, even how he treated the cheerleaders he 'supposedly' dated.

Brooks continued to confront Johnny, berate him and belittle him with his intense verbal attack-- Sammy and Erik soon joined in. Johnny tried to get his voice heard over the laughter and degrading names, but he couldn't; the guys got louder and began nudging him hard and pushing him. He drew back in fear and anger, but now they were on all sides of him. A hit from the front had him recioling from the impact. The momentum of a shove from behind pushed him into Brooks, who pushed him to Erik and on and on until they ganged up and aggressively pounced on him. He fought bravely with all his might. Adrenaline pumped through his blood making him stronger, but it wasn't enough; three against one was not a fair fight.

They left him there; bleeding and in great pain. He tried to sit up, but his strenuous and labored effort didn't pay off. He laid in the grass hoping they wouldn't come back and finish him off. Staring at the stars in the sky, he made a wish that someone would come soon and find him, help him. He thought about Luke and hoped he was alright. He prayed for Noah to wake up. He prayed he wasn't going to die. He closed his eyes and raised his hand to his face. It was swollen and he had a split lip. He moved his fingers and toes, his head side to side, and felt his ribs. No broken bones. His stomach hurt really bad as that's where he got hit the most. He turned his head and vomited, the pain in his abdomen was excruciating. His eyes spung open when he heard the foot falls of a jogger.

He whispered, "Help." but his voice couldn't carry volume.

The runner was almost to him. "Help." he tried to talk a little louder; the footsteps stopped. Johnny heard, "Hey, are you ok?"

"No." he answered in a raspy voice. Someone was here to help him! His throat closed in and he began to sob. "Help me."

His rescuer knelt down and touched Johnnys head. "What happened?" he asked in a caring voice while checking him all over.

"I-- I was mugged." Johnny lied, seeing that it was Andy, the senior that danced with Noah. He sighed with relief and brought his hand up to wipe his eyes.

"Damn. They really worked you over!" Andy said, taking his cell out and calling the police. Jack was on duty and said he'd be right out.

"The cops are coming. Can you sit up?" Andy asked, his hand on Johnny's shoulder, ready to help him up.

"No. My stomach hurts too much."

"Ok, take it easy." Andy sat with him. Jack would be there soon, and an ambulance too. "What's your name?"

"It's Johnny. Er, Andy?"

"You know me?"

"Yea, you danced with my 'sort of' friend, Noah, at the school dance." Johnny said quietly, but not out of shyness.

"Oh, how is he? I've been waiting for him to call me."

"He's in the hospital. He fell off a horse and hit his head on a rock. He's unconscious, but the doctor isn't too worried. Um, I want to ask you something, but don't take it the wrong way."

Andy chuckled. "I'll try."

"Well, how did you come out at school? Wasn't it hard?" Johnny looked at Andy's face to see a thoughtful look.

"I told my friends. Some of who supported me, but others couldn't deal with it. I miss them, but I'm better off without them. I don't need friends like that." Andy replied, wondering why the teen wanted to know. "Are you?"

Johnny didn't want to say, but then he thought, 'what the hell?' "Yes, and I have a boyfriend, but I haven't told anyone, well, his parents know and now you. I'm scared."

"You don't have to 'tell' anyone if you're not ready." Andy advised him, "It's no one's business, and if they make it their business, then they're not trustworthy."

"Yea." Johnny closed his eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes. I have some soul searching to do."

"For the sake of yourself and your boyfriend, I hope things turn out for the best for you both." Andy said, getting the feeling that this teen had been the target of a hate crime and that certain people did know he was gay, or suspected he was and targeted him. "Tell the officer everything and don't leave out any details. You want the guy or guys to be punished, right?"

"Sure." Johnny said to pacify Andy.

The ambulance and Jack came within a few minutes. While the ambulance took Johnny to the hospital to be checked out, Jack took Andy's statement, then went to the hospital to question Johnny. All he got out of the teen was that two or three people mugged him. He didn't see their faces or recognize their voices and couldn't remember the direction they went when they left. Jack had nothing to go on, which frustrated him. Muggings in Oakdale had never been this violent over a 'cell phone' and a 'twenty dollar bill'.

The staff of nurses bandaged Johnny and gave him a prescription for pain. The doctor released him into his parents care. They took him home and helped him to bed. His older brother and younger sister came into his room to sit with him and talk until Johnny stated he was too tired to keep his eyes open. They left him after wishing him a good night, his little sister kissed him goodnight. In the middle of the night, his mother sat in his room, praying that the police would find the criminals who did this to her son. She stayed with him the whole night, watching him sleep, weeping for him and the pain he was in, and decided that he needed all the support he could get. She'd call Brooks tomorrow, one of his best friends, and ask him to come over to spend some time with him.

Memories of Luke  
Chapter- 27

Sunday—

Luke and his parents got up early and went straight to the hospital without eating breakfast. They would grab something there.

Rushing into Noah's room, they heard, "Ok." and saw a nurse and Doctor Shelby standing next to Noah's hospital bed.

"Is he awake?" Lilly asked; getting to the bed as fast as she could. "Noah!" she kissed his cheek. "We were so worried about you. How do you feel?"

"Ok." Noah smiled, "Aside from the massive headache I have."

Holden traded places with Lilly, he hugged him and said, "Thank god you're alright!"

"He will be fine Mr. Snyder." Dr. Shelby said, shining a light into Noah's eyes. "Everything looks good." The nurse changed Noah's bandage as Luke stepped near, tears building in his eyes.

"Noah." he said with a scratchy voice. He saw Noah's brilliant blue eyes first. They lit up more when Noah smiled at him.

"Hi Luke. How are you?"

"I should be asking you that!" Luke's crooked smile showed.

"I'm fine."

"I thought you left me again."

"I know. I heard."

"Huh?" Luke asked, tilting his head to the side and pushing his hands into his front pockets.

Noah curled his finger at Luke, motioning him to come close. "I could hear you when I was out of it. I heard everyone, but your voice and the words you said stuck with me. Thank you."

Luke blushed deep red and lowered his gaze, unable to meet Noah's teasing eyes.

"Yea, well, I thought I was going to lose you. You scared me, scared us all. Glad you have a hard, thick skull." Luke snickered, keeping his eyes down.

"That I do." Noah agreed.

"When will he be able to come home?" Lilly asked Dr. Shelby.

"Tomorrow. I'd like to keep him another night for observation and make sure the swelling goes down." he replied.

"Hear that Noah? You have to stay again. I bet you've never had this much attention before, have you?" Luke looked up and saw Noah rest his head on the pillow very carefully.

"Nope. I've never been in a hospital before. There's a lot of coming and going."

Holden and Lilly laughed. "That's true. Seems like they won't let you have any peace, but that's for the best. You're in good hands. Dr. Shelby works closely with Dr. Hughes." Lilly added.

"Are you hungry?" the nurse asked Noah.

"Very!" Noah replied, licking his lips at the thought of syrupy, buttered pancakes.

Johnny woke up. It took him all the strength he had to open his swollen eyes. He looked around, seeing that he was in his bedroom, safe and sound.

Johnny's mother opened the door and peeked in to check on him. "Morning sweetheart." she said, cringing at Johnny's bruised face. "How are you feeling? Do you want a pain pill?"

"No." Johnny stated, trying to sit up, but he crossed his arms around his stomach and groaned loudly in agony and fell back to the bed. "Shit...."

"Shhh, just lay there. I'll get a pill and a cool glass of water. The Doctor said you should rest for a few days. Oh, I'll call Brooks while I'm downstairs. I know he'd want to be here with you." she said, stepping to the door.

"NO!" Johnny found his voice, stating emphatically that he did NOT want Brooks or any other member of the football team there. "Don't call anybody. I don't want to see anyone, except maybe Luke. Can you call him for me?"

"Sure. What's his number?"

Johnny recited it from memory and hoped that Luke would be able to come. He waited impatiently for his mother to to come back and give him the good news.

When she did back, she gave her son the pill and the water, stating that no one answered at Luke's house.

"Will you please keep trying? I need him here." Johnny asked with his voice risen, but then his mood darkened as he remembered. He added softly with thought, "Oh, forget it. His brother is in the hospital unconscious, he's probably there with him. Don't bother him."

Johnny seemed depressed so his mother decided to keep trying the home number- just to let Luke know what happened to her son. To her luck, or so she thought, her phone rang once she was back downstairs.

"I have to call Johnny you're awake! He came with me yesterday and sat with us. He was worried about you. Me too." Luke said to Noah while his parents were in the cafeteria getting a bite to eat.

"Tell him hi and thanks for worrying about me." Noah smiled, watching Luke dial 9 then Johnny's number. "Hm, it's busy. I'll try again in a few minutes. I can't wait for you to come home. I really missed you."

"I missed you too." Noah said with a tone of underlying love.

"Dork, you were out of it, how could you miss me?" Luke laughed, taking Noah's hand and caressing it.

If Noah had been standing, his knees would have weakened. He slowly pulled his hand away, diminishing the feelings he had for Luke. His brother hadn't seemed to notice how his touch affected him. That was good. He smiled and asked, "You and Johnny are still together?" He didn't know why he asked that, or why he assumed they wouldn't be a couple anymore, but Luke answered.

"Yes." Luke nodded.

"Good, I'm happy for you both." Noah said, trying to sound convincing. "You're cute together.

"Hey, are you going to call that Andy guy?" jealousy flashed in Luke's eyes, but he needed Noah to date someone so he might start to look at Noah as a real brother and not someone he was attracted to.

"I guess when I feel better." Noah looked down and fiddled with the blanket.

"I'm going to try to call Johnny again." Luke said, turning to the phone again.

Johnny's mom answered the house phone. "Hello?" she said kindly, however, the gruff sound of hate and cruelty filled her ears.

"**You're son is a fucking FAG! He got what was coming to him. He's a queer-- a cock eater and he better watch his back!**" then a dial tone buzzed in her ear.

She hung up, shaking from fear and looked to the stairs, wondering if she should bother Johnny with this. She went to the garage where her husband was tinkering around and told him; asking his advice.

"If he is gay, he'll tell us. We should ignore the call and not tell him about it. We shouldn't upset him. If this person keep harassing our family, we'll alert the police." He said, shaking his head.

She asked, "What if this wasn't a mugging? What if he is gay and that's what this is about? We need to support him either way."

"I know, I wish there was something we could do."

"I have to keep trying to call his friend, Luke, at home. Johnny doesn't want to see Brooks or anyone else.... say... could this Luke be... oh, nevermind." she said, waving her hand.

"Could be." Johnny's father replied, thinking it was a possibility that Luke was his son's boyfriend. "It's a little suspicious to me that he doesn't want to see any of the normal guys he hangs out with. Suppose he IS seeing this Luke person and the team found out?"

"They'd be ticked off and feel betrayed... you don't think they did this, do you?" she asked worriedly, then covered her mouth.

"I don't know, but for whatever reason, Johnny is keeping quiet about it. He's a good kid, but I don't know why he'd protect them."

"They could have threatened him if he named certain players for beating him up."

"That's likely. This is all speculation though. Until Johnny tells us, we can't hound him... that is, openly. We can hint here and there, get him to feel comfortable enough to tell us the truth, if he hasn't already; he really could have been mugged."

"I for one don't believe his story, but I will for now." Johnny's mother stated, wishing Johnny knew how much his parents loved him- no matter what. "Alright, I'm off to phone Luke again."

"Good luck. I'd like to meet him."

Luke put the phone to his ear. Johnny's mother answered with a brisk 'hello'. He almost hung up. She sounded really irritated about something. Maybe he shouldn't have called.

"Uh... is Johnny there?" Luke asked in a shy way.

"Who's calling?" she asked, wary of who was on the line because she'd just had a harassing call.

"This is Luke-- his friend?" he questioned, hoping he'd get to talk to Johnny, but it seemed unlikely. Maybe he was with his friends today?

Noah noticed that Luke's unsure expression matched the tone in his voice. He wondered what was going on.

"Luke, oh thank god! I've been trying to get a hold of you!" she exclaimed happily.

Luke let out an easy breath and glanced at Noah, giving him a thumbs up. Noah nodded and closed his weary eyes. He was ready for a nap.

"Is everything ok?" Luke queried with curiosity.

"No, no it's not. Can you come over? Oh, how is your brother? Johnny wanted to know."

"He's awake!" Luke grinned, glanced at Noah and saw that he was asleep. "Actually," he laughed, "he's not now. He's napping."

"I'll be sure to let Johnny know he's doing well. I need to ask you a favor- can you come over? Something awful happened last night." she said, rushing her words.

_Last night? He was practicing football with the jocks. Did he get tackled too hard? Did he break his arm?_ "What happened?" Luke asked, not too worried at the moment.

"He---" she began to lose control of her composure and wept. "He got beat up last night. He's bruised from head to toe. He's been asking for you, not his friends from the team, just you. Maybe you can get what happened to him out of him, but be discreet?"

Luke was stunned, his body numb and he was sure his heart stopped beating.

"Luke? Please, come?" She asked through her tears and choking sobs.

"Y-- Yes. I can. I have to--" Luke gulped. "get my parents. They can bring me. Soon. Is he--" He was afraid to ask and was thankful when Johnny's mom answered.

"He's in a lot of pain, but he'll be fine... eventually."

"Who--?" he asked, not being able to go on.

"We don't know. His dad and I have our suspicions, but until Johnny wants to tell us, we aren't going to push him, that's why I asked you to help out."

Luke had been shaking and he wasn't sure he could stand. "I will help. Bye." He felt hot tears running down his face. He looked at Noah and wished he could wake him up, hug him and get some comfort.

Lilly and Holden entered the room with a sandwich for Luke, but when they saw his face, Lilly dropped it on the end of Noah's bed and hugged him.

"Mom, I have to go. I talked to Johnny's mom, he was beat up really bad last night. He's been asking for me. She wants me to come over. Do you think Noah would understand?"

"Of course honey!" Lilly said, drawing back only to see pain in Luke's eyes.

"I'll drive you." Holden stated soberly; massaging Luke's shoulder gently. "Lets go."

"Tell Noah." Luke said. "Please? And tell him I'm sorry I had to go." He wiped a tear away.

"I will honey. Tell Johnny I hope he has a quick recovery." Lilly kissed his cheek before he and his dad left.

Luke knocked on Johnny's bedroom door, waiting until he heard a weak, 'come in'. He hesitated, bracing himself for the sight of his bruised and battered boyfriend. He knew from talking to Johnny's mother when he was invited into the house that Johnny's beautiful face wouldn't look the same. It was swollen and discolored, but she assured Luke when she saw his wounded expression that the bruises and swelling would go away and he'd be the same handsome Johnny he was before. She was dying to ask what their relationship was, but she didn't out of respect for Luke and her son.

Luke took a breath, put on a smile and opened the bedroom door. He turned around to close it before he took a look at Johnny. His hand didn't seem to want to let go of the door handle.

"Luke?" Johnny uttered, scared that Luke didn't want to be here or see him.

Luke tried to keep the tears at bay, but he couldn't and he hadn't even looked at his boyfriend yet! He slowly turned around and kept his eyes on the floor.

"I know I look bad, at least, I think so. I haven't seen what I look like, but you can look at me, you know? I'm still the same guy you knew yesterday.

Luke sat on the bed. He couldn't look, not after the image and description that Johnny's mother put in his mind. He was afraid to look— frightened of the ugliness from loathing that someone forcibly put on his boyfriend's gorgeous face.

"Hey, princess..." Johnny said affectionately, holding out his hand. "Please, can you just look at me? I'd feel so much better if I could see your sparkling eyes and your cute smile. Please?" he pleaded. He slowly brought his un-held hand back and rested it on the blanket covering him. He laced his fingers together and turned his head to the wall.

"I guess you can go. Tell Noah I'm happy he regained consciousness. I'll see you around maybe, maybe not." Johnny sniffled. Why wouldn't Luke look at him? Why was he acting as if he didn't want to be here? Why was he so quiet?

"Don't be ridiculous." Luke said, barely loud enough for Johnny to hear.

"I'm not. I'm being serious. I got beat up because I'm gay, Luke. You shouldn't be around me or you might get hurt from the same people too. I'll make it easy on you, I'm breaking up with you."

"No you're not."

"I am. You're safe because they won't bug you unless I'm around you. I don't want you to get hurt."

"So you're saving me physical pain by causing me mental pain? That makes a whole helluva lot of sense!" Luke said loudly with anger pouring forth. "Let me take a stab at this. Brooks saw us at the hospital and despite you telling him that you were merely hugging me at a time of distress, he pretended to believe you. Later he called everyone from the team and set up a practice, you went unassumingly and boom, they all took a turn at you. Am I right?"

"Not all of them, just three, and don't tell anyone. I said it was a mugging. I don't want to deal with those guys anymore. If I tell, I'll be subjected to worse, I just have that feeling."

Luke finally looked at Johnny, or rather the side of his face because his boyfriend was still facing the wall, away from him. He groaned sickly when he saw him, and that was only half his face. He uttered a string of curse words, then touched Johnny's arm. "Those bastards. Johnny..." Luke whispered, shaking his head at the sight. "Turn toward me." he said, rubbing Johnny's arm.

Slowly, Johnny turned his head and saw that Luke was deeply affected with grief. "It's bad?"

Luke tried to put on a brave face and lied, "Not so bad, but bad enough."

"Thanks for toning it down for me, but by everyone's facial expressions, I can tell how awful I look and it hurts like a bitch."

Luke swallowed, tried not to cry, and laid next to him. He kissed Johnny's black and blue cheek and held his hand; resting their arms between them. "Still gonna break up with me?" Luke asked jokingly.

"I couldn't. You're too damn cute, princess." Johnny tried to laugh, but his abdomen and stomach hurt so bad. He sighed in pain and closed his eyes. "I'm so freakin' bored."

"I can imagine." Luke mentioned, nuzzling his nose against Johnny's ear before kissing it. "I'm sorry this happened to you. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Just be here. That's all I want. You... here... with me, is that ok?" Johnny asked with apprehension. Was Luke able to stay or did he have to go? Did he want to stay?

"Of course it's ok. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." Luke kissed Johnny's ear again.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 28  
Warning: mild violence

It was a beautiful Tuesday. The leaves on the trees blowing gently, twisting this way and that in the warm breeze.

Luke, Noah, Alan and Bailey waited for the bus on the sidewalk. Bailey engaged Luke and Noah in conversation. She stood next to Alan, who was holding her books. He pushed his glasses up on his nose and watched how the gentle wind swirled her brown hair around. He wanted to smooth it down for her, but his hands were full.

"Did you hear what happened to Johnny the jock; all muscle and no brain?"

Luke had told Noah everything their parents hadn't when Noah got out of the hospital yesterday. Today was his first day back to school.

Noah quickly looked at Luke after hearing what Bailey said. He wondered if Luke would stand up for Johnny, but it appeared that he was going to wait to hear what else Bailey would say.

"He's suck a dumbass." Alan muttered. "He teased you so much Luke. He deserves what he got. I can't wait until he comes back to school. I'm going to laugh in his face."

"Guys--" Noah began to speak up.

Luke slapped Noah's chest with the back of his hand, "No, I want to hear what they have to say."

Bailey began, "Well it's all over town. He got beat up! Can you believe it? I hear he looks like Frankenstein! I bet he doesn't think he's so cool now. I'd love to shake the hand or hands of the people who did this to him."

"Me too. I heard he's really fucked up." Alan laughed.

"Well, I'll tell you...." Luke started. "...he is. Really fucked over."

Bailey frowned. "How do you know?"

"Yea, what do you know about it that we don't. He wasn't in school yesterday so you couldn't have seen him. Unless...." Alan's eyes got huge. "YOU did it! You beat up that mother effin' piece of shit! Way to go!" He stepped closer to pat Luke on the back.

Luke stepped away before Alan could touch him. "No I didn't and if I ever find out who did, they're answering to me! I'll work them over worse than Johnny was. I'll beat their faces to a pulp and no one will recognize them."

"Ok, why are you sticking up for that jackass?" Bailey asked, posing with her hip stuck out.

Luke copied her pose with ridicule and said, "I spent Sunday and most of the afternoon after school with him yesterday."

"Why?" Alan asked with his brow arched high and his mouth turned down.

"Because, I'm gay and Johnny is my boyfriend." Luke looked down the street. "Bus."

Bailey and Alan laughed.

"Right." Bailey said in disbelief.

"No, it's true." Noah said with a smirk and pointed. "Turn around, see, there's the bus." He whispered to Luke, "Way to go. I think they're in shock.

"Johnny and you?" Alan shook his head. "He teased you. You hate him!"

"I used to, but he has this humble, giving and humorous side to him." Luke grinned with a faraway look in his eyes.

"Jeeesus." Bailey shook her head. "I'd love to see that side of him."

"I won't believe it until I see it." Alan grumbled, turning to the curb. _I thought he was dating some older chick and dumped her for someone else? He lied?_

"Look, guys." Luke sighed. "Please trust me on this. He's going to quit the football team and probably hang out with us from now on. Is-- Is that ok?"

"Yea, I guess." Alan frowned. "What if he's using you to play a really big prank on you? The whole team could be in on it."

The bus stopped and the doors opened.

"He's not." Luke assured them.

Once they were seated, Bailey asked, "How do you know?"

Noah turned around and replied, "He's not lying." He was fed up with their questions. "They kiss and do other stuff. A straight guy wouldn't do that so enough doubting Luke."

"Thanks bro." Luke's grin made Noah smile.

"Anytime, bro." Noah winked playfully before he turned away.

Luke and Noah were at their locker when Noah tapped Luke and whispered, "Holy shit! Johnny came to school! He's coming this way!"

Luke gasped and turned. There he was. Everyone staring, whispering, or talking loud enough so Johnny could hear their shocked responses. Yesterday, the news had traveled throughout the school, but seeing him in worse shape than everyone could imagine, made them drop their jaws.

Johnny half smiled at Luke and Noah as he neared them.

Luke smiled back while Noah looked at him with respect. How many guys would stay home until they looked at least halfway decent? All of them, but not Johnny.

"Hi princess." Johnny said, then without a care, he hugged Luke. The hallway became loud; abuzz with what the students were seeing.

"Hi handsome." Luke hugged him back, dropped his arms and asked, "What's up?"

"I'm making an appearance. I'm not afraid of the football team or what anyone wants to say about how I look. I have a right to an education."

"My brave boyfriend. What about people seeing us together. I know you don't want to come out." Luke stated with regard for Johnny's privacy.

"It doesn't matter. You're my boyfriend and I'm not ashamed of it. Those who care, don't matter to me and never will. They can go fuck themselves." Johnny touched Luke's hand briefly; slowly getting used to public displays of affection. "Hey Noah, I'm glad to see you. Have you recovered?"

Noah had been staring at Johnny's bruised face. "Huh? Recovered from seeing your face? Yea.... it's just a shock." _And the way you talk isn't some beefed up, masculine voice anymore. Wow._ -he thought to himself.

Luke giggled at Noah's misunderstanding.

"No," Johnny chuckled, "recovered from your head injury."

"Oh yea." Noah blushed. "Sorry."

"No prob. Guess I'm going to be the main attraction for a while." Johnny shrugged.

"Johnny! Is it true?" Denise, his ex asked. When Johnny turned to her, she gasped loudly and covered her mouth.

"What? That I got beat up? Nah, those are just vicious rumors." Johnny joked.

"Oh my.... oh god... jesuuus!" she kept saying over and over. Finally she stopped talking when Noah announced he had to go to class and Luke agreed that he had to go too.

Denise hugged Johnny carefully and kissed his cheek. "If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here for you."

"Thank you Denise. That means a lot." Johnny smiled at her.

"I also overheard.... Johnny, some guys on the football team said... they were bragging... about beating you up. Is it true some members of the team did this?"

Johnny licked his lips, glanced at Noah who nodded his encouragement, then at Luke, who gave him a supportive look. He replied to Denise's question, "Yes, it's true."

"Then what in the hell are they doing at school? They should be expelled!" Denise yelled, not at him, but at the injustice of it all.

"Denise, I don't want any trouble. I think they'll leave me alone now. I'm not going to be on the team or hang out with them anymore."

"Is it... are what they're saying true then?" she raised her brows high and widened her eyes.

"What? That I'm gay?" Johnny asked, wrapping his arm around Luke. "Yes. I'm coming out today. Denise, this is Luke, my boyfriend. Luke, this is Denise, one of the best cheerleaders on the squad and my ex girlfriend."

"HE'S your boyfriend? I thought you hated him!" she laughed. "Oh, I get it! What a great diversion to tease him every chance you got, Johnny."

"Actually, I did hate him." Luke eyed Johnny with admiration now. "Now, I really like him."

"Luke, I hate to break up this conversation, but you need to get your books before the second bell rings, you too." Noah said to Denise and Johnny.

Johnny replied, "Just wait." He said to Luke, "I keep my promises. Remember when you said you needed a kiss from me each day?"

Luke grinned widely. "Yeaaa."

"Here's the first." Johnny pecked Luke on the lips. "Sorry it can't be any more detailed or passionate than that. My lip is split, you know."

Noah watched the kiss. It wasn't anything, really, but the look on Luke's face afterward, made him jealous and angry. He abruptly left without a goodbye. The halls were nearly empty as students rushed to classrooms.

Johnny palmed Luke's cheek, saying, "See you in--"

"**FAGS**!" Brooks, Sammy and Erik had been spying on Johnny with his 'princess' from a distance so they wouldn't be noticed. They walked to Luke's locker, surrounding the two lovers on three sides.

"Try to convince us that you're not a queer now!" Brooks pushed Johnny.

Johnny stayed calm and ignored Brooks and the other two he'd called his friends at one time.

"Talk your way out of that homo." Sammy laughed.

Erik said in a high voice imitating Johnny, "I'm not gay. I don't like guys." Then he yelled, "LIAR!"

"Go away." Luke said in a bored way. "Unless you want kissing lessons." He puckered his lips and made smoochy sounds.

Brooks grabbed the front of Luke's shirt and pushed him into his locker. "You're about the dumbest fuck I know. See what happened to Johnny? He's got muscle and he still couldn't take us. How do you think you'd fare?"

"Don't touch me." Luke snarled. "Get lost." Then he pushed Brooks away.

Sammy had enough of Luke. "You need to learn a lesson, asshole." He swung at Luke. Miraculously before his fist hit Luke's face, Johnny's hand grabbed Sammy's closed hand and bent his arm behind his back.

Erik pulled on Johnny from behind while Brooks pushed Luke to the locker again and held him there with his hands holding Luke's shoulders. His fingers pressed into Luke painfully.

"Leave him alone!" Johnny yelled at Brooks, trying to fight Sammy and Erik off, but he was losing and in agonizing pain.

Sammy breathed out hot air and muttered evilly, "Watch what we do to your boyfriend. Brooks will mess him up worse than you." He and Erick laughed, pulling Johnny's head up by his hair so he would be forced to watch Luke get beat up, his guy, his boyfriend, his cute princess. He didn't want to see it.

"Let him go! He's not the one you want anyway, Brooks!" Johnny yelled.

"Yea he is, at the moment." Brooks said over his shoulder, and quickly brought his knee up hard.

"UUUUHHFF!" Luke cried out, coughed and bent over holding his groin with a pained look on his face. He eased himself onto the floor and closed his eyes. "Shit--"

"YOU ASSHOLES!" Johnny shouted and twisted his body side to side, escaping Sammy and Erik's hold on him. He went to Luke and knelt by him. He turned his head and screamed, "You fuckers are going to pay for this!"

Before the three could descend on Johnny and Luke, they heard a furious voice echo in the hall.

"What in god's name is going on here?" Mr. Phelps, the high school principal was called to this hall when a young teacher heard the commotion and saw what was happening in the hall from her classroom. She closed her door and locked it, afraid for herself and the students in her classroom, then she called the office.

Luke couldn't answer, he was trying to recover. Brooks, Sammy and Erik stood a few feet away with their arms crossed and smirks on their evil faces.

"He fell or something." Brooks stated and said to his friends, "We better get to class."

"No, you won't. I want you three in the office right now." Mr. Phelps said sternly with a warning look. "Go." The teacher that had called, told him exactly what she saw and he knew who was to blame. Right now he needed to tend to his wounded students and figure out a punishment for the football players.

Brooks and the other two scowled, but went willingly with the thoughts that if Johnny and Luke knew better, they wouldn't say a word because the next time they all saw each other they would finish them off.

"Don't worry boys. The cops are on their way. What happened?" He asked in a warm, caring voice-- knowing their version would match the heroic teacher who had called him because she was worried about them.

Luke shook his head. He couldn't talk right now-- he was still trying to catch his breath. Johnny moved over, cradling Luke's head in his lap. He brushed Luke's hair away from his pained eyes before looking up.

"Brooks, Sammy and Erik were harassing us. Pushing us around and taunting us." Johnny explained.

"You're on the team together, why would they do that?" Mr. Phelps would never understand the mentality of certain jocks.

"Because I'm gay." Johnny quickly looked down at Luke. Seeing how much Luke adored him.

Mr. Phelps put his hand on Johnny's shoulder and looked between him and Luke. His eyes conveyed approval and admiration. "So, you're saying this was a hate crime?"

Luke nodded. He wanted the football players to pay for what happened to Johnny on Saturday night too.

Mr. Phelps ran his hand over his face, extremely disappointed and discouraged.

Jack Snyder entered the high school. He went to the office to ask the secretary where the fight occurred. She told him how to get to the hallway. He thanked her, then glanced at the three boys sitting on the bench in the office. He nodded at them and left for the hall. He turned the corner, seeing an adult with two teens.

"The officer is here. I'm going to stick around." Mr. Phelps said.

"Thanks." Johnny said.

"I think I'm ok to sit up." Luke whispered with embarrassment.

Johnny nodded and let Luke up. He whispered. "It's like you took a kick to the nuts for me."

"I'll remember to return the favor." Luke teased, smiling close-mouthed.

"Luke? Is that you?" Jack saw the blond and ran the rest of the way. "What he hell happened?" He crouched down and balanced himself.

Mr. Phelps told Jack about the teacher and what she had seen. Luke and Johnny confirmed what happened and added more, the stuff she didn't see or hear.

"Where are these boys?" Jack stood up.

"The office. I haven't talked to them yet, but I--"

"I'm taking them downtown. Please call their parents and let them know." Jack stated with a frown. "Luke or Johnny, do you need medical attention?"

Johnny stood up and took Jack aside. "I'm sorry I lied, but I didn't think they'd come after me again or Luke. They are the ones who beat me up on Saturday night. I wasn't mugged."

"I figured as much just now. I'll get your statements later. Right now I need to question these guys." Jack said to Johnny and patted him on the shoulder. "You take care of yourself and Luke. He's a special one."

"I will." Johnny smiled as big as he dared without hurting his face.

"Luke, Johnny? I can call your parents to come pick you up if you feel you need to go home." Mr. Phelps suggested.

Luke looked at Johnny and knew they weren't going anywhere. To do so would let the bullies win. They weren't about to shrink away in fear.

"We're staying, but we will need an excuse to get in to first hour classes." Luke said.

"That's not a problem boys." Mr. Phelps said. They all walked to the office.

Luke and Johnny got their slips and Jack got the three bullies.

Brooks, Sammy and Erik would eventually be suspended until the next school year and do two months in juvenile detention while taking Diversity Tolerance classes.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 29

~~~~~~~

The same day Johnny and Luke were harassed at school--

Bailey and Alan couldn't believe it when Luke invited Johnny to sit with them at lunch. They were wary of him until they saw how nice he treated them. They also sympathized with him once they saw how attentive he was to Luke. Luke had told Noah what happened in the hall earlier in the day. Noah fumed. No one had a right to touch his brother or kick him in the nuts. He was glad that Brooks, Sammy and Erik were out of school.

**Weeks later  
**  
Noah, Bailey, Alan, and Luke and Johnny, who were holding hands, stood in the lunch line. Alan and Bailey were talking animatedly about the date they went on and how everything went wrong, but they had a blast anyway.

"Hey fag." One of Johnny's prior friends whispered and pushed him from behind.

Johnny let go of Luke's hand to face him. "It's MISTER fag." Johnny scowled at the football player.

"Humph! You're at fault for our losing streak. The three best men on the team are gone because of your big mouth."

"Yea? Says a lot about how you play, doesn't it? You always sucked, that's why you played from the bench, asshole." Johnny sneered.

"He's not worth it." Luke said, trying to turn Johnny back around.

"I know. He's not worth shit!"

"Why you--" the football player pulled back his arm, ready with his fist to strike.

"Take it easy Stevens!" the football player named Michaels, who was standing behind the offensive talking player, said. "Damn, leave Johnny alone. He's a friend, remember? Just because he likes guys is no reason to fight with him. Get a life."

Johnny glanced at Michaels and gave him a short nod.

"No prob Johnny." Michaels answered the silent acknowledgment of thanks. "You know, anytime you want to hang out, just call. Bring your boyfriend too- if you want. Nothing fazes me."

"You're just as sick as he is!" Stevens told Michaels before he stormed away.

"Guess he can't take the heat and had to get out of the kitchen." Luke smiled before he turned back around to talk to Noah. Johnny and Michaels struck up a conversation.

"You know Luke, I'm proud of you." Noah said eyeing his brother and looking into his eyes; touching Luke's shapely lips, but only in his thoughts.

"For what?"

"Um, just everything. I'm glad you're my brother and that I found you." Noah said with emotion.

"I know, goofy. You keep telling me that. I'm happy too. Together forever, right?" Luke held his hand out and Noah slapped it saying, "Brothers forever!"

"I wish I was as close to someone like you guys are." Alan said, pushing his glasses up again.

"You have us." Noah said with a charming smile. His eyes drifted, seeing Andy Hutchinson walking to the lunch line with two of his friends. The senior had his hair cut differently. It was shorter, but it looked very good. His tight pink, vee neck tee shirt looked great. Noah could see twin hard nipples due to the air conditioning in the school. His gaze fell to Andy's jeans. They weren't button fly or even a snap with a zipper. They were laced up the crotch! _I could imagine Luke in jeans like that. Wow, Andy looks really handsome._

Noah did something he never thought he'd ever do, but since Luke was dating.....

He rose his hand and waved while saying, "Andy, up here."

Andy stopped talking to his friends mid-sentence when he heard his name. He turned and saw Noah. He waved back with an adorable grin. When Noah motioned him to come, he excused himself from his friends. He sauntered casually, sexily, to Noah. His eyes running up and down the sophomore's body. Before he got to Noah, he touched Johnny's elbow, getting his attention. "How's it going? I've been meaning to talk to you. Black and blue weren't really colors that suited you."

"I'm great, thanks." Johnny flashed a smile at Andy. "This is Luke, my boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you Luke." Andy said, shaking his hand. "Gotta go. That hunk there wants to talk to me." He nodded at Noah.

Luke turned to see who Andy was talking about and saw Noah. _Shit, he looks interested. Well, Andy is a good looking guy... (sigh) This __will be good. Noah will date him and I won't think about him so much._

Noah smiled and asked Andy, "Wanna cut in line?"

"If it gets me closer to food, then yea!" Andy teased. He touched Noah's arm and questioned, "How have you been? I was hoping you'd call, but you didn't."

"I'm sorry. I was a little overwhelmed that I actually asked someone to dance for the first time in my life. I couldn't believe you said yes, then I was too shy to call." Noah shrugged. "Call me a chicken."

"How about if I just call you? Would that make it easier--- if you're interested?" Andy's hand moved sensuously along Noah's bare arm, causing goosebumps to rise.

"Ok." Noah said, feeling his tongue become tied due to the erotic stimulation on his arm.

"Good." Andy dropped his hand and stated, "I'll need your number."

Noah recited the house phone number and Andy committed it to memory. They moved forward in line and grabbed trays and plates. "I'll buy you lunch, consider it our first date." Andy teased.

"First date, why-- so you can kiss me on the second one with taking me out on a real first date? Do you think I'm easy?" Noah laughed, sliding his tray down the metal counter.

"No..." Andy said, then added in a sensual whisper, "are you?"

Noah's head whipped to the right in shock and caught Andy trying not to laugh. He rolled his eyes and said with a smirk, "Funny. I'll let you figure that out on your own."

"Believe me, I will." Andy said, the smile falling from his face as he became serious about the statement he'd made. As promised, he paid for Noah's lunch, then excused himself to sit with his friends.

Luke sat between Johnny and Noah. Bailey and Alan sat together across from them, whispering and talking about their next date.

Michaels, the football player, walked to their table and addressed Johnny. "I talked to some of the guys. I suggested you and Luke should come over and sit with us. The assholes who minded got up and left. There was only two of them Johnny. That's not so bad. We miss ya, even if you don't come back and play ball we still want you around."

Johnny was very touched. He looked at Luke and asked, "Want to? Would you mind?"

Luke grinned, seeing the hope in Johnny's eyes. He knew Johnny wanted his old friends back. "Yea, it's cool." he said agreeably.

"Ok." Johnny said enthusiastically to Michaels. "We'll be over in a bit."

"The usual table. Oh, the cheerleaders are cool with it too. Well, Brittany is all 'whatever' about it. I think she believes she's so hot and wondered if she lost some of her persuasion when she couldn't get you into bed. You know her ego." Michaels laughed, patted Johnny on the back, and walked back to the 'jocks' table.

"Damn!" Luke exclaimed as he stood up. "Who knew they would be so cool! Even after me and Noah crashed that party."

Johnny laughed. "That was the mentality of too many jocks being in one room at one time. Besides, everyone thought you two were planning something, but it was Brooks, Sammy and Erik who initiated the punches and driving you out of town."

"I'm happy they accept you." Luke said to Johnny, who had stood up. They began to leave, but Luke looked back to the table. Bailey and Alan had their heads together, talking privately. Noah had his head down, playing with his food and looking lonely. "Johnny? I'm gonna stay with Noah." he said so Noah wouldn't hear him. "Have fun." he smiled.

Johnny nodded, peeking Noah who did look disheartened. Luke was a terrific brother to stay with him. "Later, princess."

Luke put his tray back on the table and sat next to his brother. "Gonna eat that?" he asked and scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and ate them.

"Hey!" Noah looked up with a grin and bumped Luke's shoulder with his own. "You prick, Andy bought them for me."

"Want 'em back?" Luke asked, sticking out his mashed potato covered tongue and wiggled it as he got closer and closer to Noah.

"Ick! No!" Noah laughed, pushing Luke back. "That's disgusting."

Bailey and Alan looked up and laughed. "Get him Luke!" Bailey shouted. "Lick his cheek!"

"That's gross." Alan told her.

"So, it's funny." she said back to him.

"He better not lick my cheek, at least with potatoes on his tongue." He realized what he said, looked down and clammed up.

"Oh? I'll remember that." Luke teased. His leg brushed against Noah's, unintentionally causing them both to glance at each other and question non-verbally, 'what?', with the look in each others eyes.

Noah broke the gaze and hoped Luke didn't see how he felt toward Luke, likewise, Luke did the same thing. Curiosity overrode Luke's sensibility and he decided to ask anyway, "Noah--"

"Nothing."

"But--"

"I said nothing. Oh did I tell you Andy is going to call me for a date?"

"I figured as much, but what happened when--"

"Nothing Luke, drop it."

Luke scowled and focused on his lunch, wondering why Noah wouldn't let him finish his sentence, unless it was because Noah was still attracted to him. He was going to ask, but Noah wouldn't let him. Maybe Noah was ashamed? He decided to help Noah out. "It's ok. We had this talk. We're attracted, but we're brothers. It's cool Noah."

Noah didn't say a word. He ate faster so he could get out of the lunchroom and away from Luke. He felt humiliated that Luke knew he'd been attracted to him not only initially, but the whole time he'd been living with the Snyders'.

"Slow down buddy." Alan said to Noah. It's not a race. You won't win a blue ribbon for finishing first."

Bailey and Alan laughed, but Luke could tell by Noah's demeanor that he didn't think the joke was funny. He put his hand on Noah's back and asked, "What's wrong? Did I say something?"

Noah shook his head. "I'm fine." he said in a low spirited voice.

Luke put his chin on Noah's shoulder and said into his ear. "Tell me what's wrong."

Noah shrugged his shoulder to get Luke's head off of it. "Nothing, like I said before." he put his spoon on his plate and stood up. "I'm done. See everyone later." then he walked off. Luke watched, puzzled.

"Bailey, Alan, I'm going to see what's up with Noah. See you after school in the line for the bus." Luke stood up, dumped the garbage off his tray and put it on the counter n to be washed. He glanced in Johnny's direction, seeing he was grinning ear to ear, talking and enjoying himself. Luke smiled to himself and walked into the hall. He looked both ways, but he didn't see Noah and decided to try their locker. No such luck. He sucked in his cheek and got an idea. He ran to the boy's bathroom on this side of the building. There was Noah at the urinal.

"God I thought maybe you left." Luke said breathless from jogging in the hall.

"Nope. Here and accounted for." Noah said without looking up. He didn't need to-- he'd recognize Luke's voice anywhere.

Luke stepped closer when Noah was done and had moved to the sink. "Tell me what happened. Is it because I admitted having feelings for you too? Oops!" Luke covered his mouth and bent over, looking for guys in the stalls.

"We're alone." Noah said, looking into the mirror at himself while he ran his hands under the water.

"Good." Luke stood back up. "So, is that why you're spooked? Because of what I said?"

Noah thought carefully while he pulled piece after piece of paper toweling out of the dispenser. Drying his hands, he turned around and spied Luke looking at him with wonder. He looked down, wadded up the wet paper towels and tossed them in the garbage.

Luke jumped up and down. "Whooo! Two points, game over! Noah Mayer scored at the last second as the buzzer when off!"

"I don't need a cheerleader." Noah said, turning away with a small, amused smile on his face.

"Noah, wait." Luke pleaded. "Stay and talk to me. I don't like seeing you like this."

"You don't like seeing me in the boy's bathroom?" Noah teased and turned around.

Luke wagged his finger at Noah. "You're funny, but don't go join the circus just yet." he walked closer to Noah. "Listen, I'm sorry I brought up the attraction thing."

He waited for Noah to say something. Their eyes made contact and held interest for minutes. "Noah--" Luke whispered, leaving his mouth parted.

This single word, his own name, made Noah weak. He let out a small noise not unlike a whimper of anticipation.

Luke moved in and kissed Noah's mouth to smother that sound, to absorb it himself. The sound that his own throat made was louder and entered Noah's hollow mouth, that is until his tongue occupied it. Noah held him lightly by the hips. He was afraid to move closer or encourage Luke, yet he was kissing back.

Their lips parted slowly and unwillingly as the gap between them grew. Opening their eyes, they found themselves disorientated and unsteady on their feet. Luke brought his hand up and ran his fingertips along his lips as he gazed into Noah's frightened eyes.

"Don't worry. It... er... you're my brother." Luke justified the show of affection by covering up his true feelings. "We're attracted to each other because we're brothers." _Shit, that makes no sense whatsoever!_ "I mean, like, we didn't have a life like two normal brothers do. If we'd never been separated, this would seem more odd than it is." Luke rambled, trying to explain and convince himself that the kiss didn't stir up any feelings he had for Noah, the same feelings he felt when he was with Johnny.

Noah listened Luke go on and on. He was afraid to speak for fear that his voice would give away how he really felt. He nodded and blinked and cleared his throat until Luke finally said, "Ok?"

Noah clenched his teeth to hide his disappointment, but it wasn't working. He wasn't one to keep things to himself, or if he did, it wasn't for very long.

"Noah?" Luke asked in a soft voice, one that lured Noah in.

Noah man-handled Luke's biceps and yanked him to his body. By the look on Luke's face, he was too shocked to say a word. Noah tilted his head and gazed Luke with an intensified, adoring look in his blue eyes. All Luke could hear was Noah's heavy breathing, then his own matched his brother's sounds. Noah gave Luke a slightly provocative smile and received a puzzled look from the blond, just before he overtook Luke's mouth with a slow, sexy kiss. It was long and drawn out, sensual and full of craving-- drawing hunger to their sex. When Noah felt Luke meld into his body, he stopped and pulled his head away.

Noah smirked, satisfied by seeing the impassioned look in Luke's eyes and said, "Did THAT feel like you were kissing your 'brother'?" He spun around and left the bathroom, wishing he hadn't done what he'd just done. He was completely and utterly confused and he was sure Luke was as well. He hadn't meant to put him in this position. He walked the hall, keeping his head down and muttering to himself until 'Bam'. He ran into someone who had grabbed him before he was pitched to the side.

"Are you ok?"

Noah looked up and nodded. "Yea. Thanks Johnny."

"Ah, I'm missing something here. What's wrong?" Johnny pulled Noah to the side of the hall to talk, instead of staying in the middle where they would get jostled and pushed.

"I'm fine." Noah said, lowering his head again. If any time was a good time to feel guilty, this was it.

"No. I don't buy it." Johnny pressed, "Tell me or I'll ask Luke."

Noah's head shot up. "Ok, ok.... I— I kissed Luke." he winced and closed his eyes, wondering if he'd get hit in the stomach or on the face. He heard laughter. Opening one wary eye, he saw Johnny chuckling and a hand coming towards him. He closed his eye again and waited. The hand landed on his shoulder. Noah opened both eyes with relief.

"Think I was gonna kick your ass?" Johnny jokingly shook Noah's shoulder.

"Kinda." Noah said, still unsure how this was going to end.

"Look, you're brothers. Don't worry about me. He and I share special kisses and yours are brotherly. Who the hell cares." Johnny shrugged.

"Hi guys." Luke quickly stepped up to Johnny and Noah. "What's up?" he looked at Noah gingerly.

Johnny wrapped an arm around Luke's waist and drew him near. He nibbled on Luke's neck, then said, "He told me he kissed you, princess."

Luke stiffened up. His eyes glared at Noah as words slid between his clenched teeth. "Why would you do that?"

"We can talk at home." Noah replied, watching Johnny bury his face in Luke's neck, his hand roaming on Luke's stomach, his body positioned perpendicular to Luke so his groin, if he wanted to, would rub on Luke's hip. He turned away, angry and frustrated.

"No, now." Luke insisted, grabbing Noah's arm so he couldn't leave. "Johnny, can I talk to the dumbshit alone?"

"Mmm" Johnny hummed on Luke's neck. His lips traveled to Luke's ear and said, "Ok, but before I go I want to tell you something. I can't wait to be with you. God Luke, it's going to be amazing, don't you think?"

"Yes." Luke answered honestly. He'd be the first of his friends to have sex, if they went that far. Luke had an added complication of having certain, rapidly growing feelings for Noah and they were troubling him. He had to talk to someone, but he had no idea who would understand or listen.

Johnny let out a soft sigh in Luke's ear before he backed away. "See you later, babe." he smiled and went to his locker.

Luke turned back to Noah, seeing a look of fury on his face. "What now? I thought you liked Johnny?"

"Babe? BABE? He calls you babe now too?" Noah said gruffly. He tried to stop himself from commenting or addressing Luke because he wanted to cool off, but his emotions didn't want to be tamed at this time.

"Yes! What's it to you?" Luke crossed his arms over his body.

"Nothing!"

"Bull!" Luke countered, getting closer to his brother's face. "You're a liar and a horrible one at that!"

"Fine _Babe_!" Noah lowered his voice so people would stop staring. "You and I were making out---"

"We were not!"

"Were too!"

"Whatever Noah!"

"We **were** and you can deny it all you want, but the fact is, is that we were kissing heavily and we both felt that... that thing that you feel."

"Oh, really good explanation there Noah. You should write an essay on 'things' and 'feelings'. Yea, that would win a Pulitzer Prize." Luke said sarcastically. His emotions were overwhelming at the moment.

"You're a real asshole." Noah frowned.

"I don't have time for this. Tell me why the hell you told my boyfriend that you and I kissed."

"He asked me what was wrong. I told him and he said it's cool. Brothers kiss. That's what he said. Brothers kiss, no big deal." Noah replied, "I didn't tell him how we kissed."

"You better not. I really like him and what happened in the bathroom was some stupid.... drive that I had." Luke waved Noah off.

"Me too. I'm going out with Andy." Noah huffed. "The bathroom incident is closed, flushed down the toilet."

"Got that right." Luke muttered.

Noah nodded. "From now on, we curb the way we feel."

A look of disbelief crossed Luke's face as he rose his voice, "You mean the way YOU feel."

"The way WE feel. I wasn't the only one kissing, touching and tonguing in that bathroom.

Luke shook his head, stating, "We forget all about it. I don't want to hurt Johnny. It would if he found out we were... ya know.... 'making out'.

Noah chuckled in a mean way. "You admit it now?"

"Shut up." Luke muttered and walked away.

That night, Noah dreamed again.

_"Why do you want to play with Jeremy, Nowah?" His eyes were large and worried._

"He's nice." he said, looking around the school yard for his new friend.

"Not to me. He pokes me when I'm coloring. I don't like him." The little blond pouted and crossed his arms.

"Wuke, I want to play with him. Go play in the sandbox."

"I don't wanna!"  
__

_"Then go swing!"_

"No! I wanna play with you." His eyes welled up. He stomped his foot, making his Transformer shoes light up and flash.

"I don't wanna play with you. Go away!" he said, seeing his brother begin to cry. Big alligator tears rolled down his chubby cheeks.

"NO!" the blond boy screamed. "You go away! I don't like you Nowah! I'm not your brother forever no more!" 

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 30

The following days were hell. Luke and Noah could barely stand each others company and everyone noticed. Luke decided that today was the day he was going to have that talk with someone about his feelings and hope and pray that he'd still be accepted and not thought of as a pervert. After school seemed like a good time, so when he dashed off the bus, he said a rushed goodbye to Bailey and Alan and ran ahead of Noah.

"Dad?" Luke found him in the downstairs bathroom, on his back, with his head in the cupboard beneath the sink.

"Luke? Could you hand me the wrench?" Holden held out his hand.

Luke put it in his dad's hand, thinking this was perfect. He couldn't see his dad's face, nor could Holden see his.

"Did you want something?" Holden asked. Clinking sounds came from the pipe as he was turning it.

"If you can listen while you work, yea."

"Damn." Holden said, water dripping on his forehead, into his eyes. "Hand me a towel please."

Luke reached for the hand towel on the counter and gave it to him. "I was wondering.... when you're dating someone and you really like them, but you find yourself attracted to someone else in the same way, what that means."

"Just like you said." Holden answered. "You're attracted to both people."

"I didn't say it was me."

"It is though, right."

Luke nodded, but Holden didn't see him.

He took the silence as a 'yes' and said with understanding, "Luke, people can be attracted to more than one person. You're young and it's very possible you're confused about what you want, but I'll tell you, those feelings are normal. I wouldn't worry about it."

Holden's advice didn't help Luke. He felt more than confused now. "But how do you know what person to date?"

"You said you like them equally. Stick with the guy you're dating, Johnny. Your other crush will fade away, maybe. Concentrate on the boyfriend you have and you're relationship. There could be something missing that you're not getting from him— attention, affection... something like that. So when you see this other guy, you think he could provide what you need, but you don't know that. You could be fantasizing and putting this person on a pedestal. He's just a person Luke. Many times we find out who we're attracted to aren't the people we think they are once we get to know them."

_No, I KNOW him. I know him very well. Noah is who he presents himself to be. He's not faking. He's genuine.... and I am soooo 'effed up right now! This didn't help one bit. What if I told dad it was Noah? He'd sit up so fast he'd hit his head on the underside of the sink and look at me as if I were crazy! I'll talk to him some other time, IF there is a next time._

"Does that help?"

"I guess." Luke said downhearted.

"It didn't. You know, your mother is great with these types of things."

"No, you're right about everything, but I already know the guy personally and he's very kind."

"Oh... that changes everything." Holden said, handing the wrench back to Luke so his hands were free to unclog the pipe.

"I know." Luke set the wrench were his dad could reach it. "I think I'll start my homework now. The wrench is right there by you."

"Thank you. I'll think about what you told me and try to come up with something. As of now, stay with Johnny. You may regret breaking up with him, if that's a thought in your mind."

"No, it's not. Thanks dad."

Luke was in the hallway upstairs and heard quiet music coming from Noah's room. He wanted to talk to him, but he ended up in his own room, closing the door behind himself and locking it so he wouldn't be disturbed by someone coming in. he sat on his bed with his books spread out in front of him. A notebook was in his lap and his pen was poised, ready to copy problems on the lined paper. He sighed and forced himself to concentrate, but it was hard. Noah was down the hall and he recalled the kisses they shared in the bathroom at school a few days ago. He gritted his teeth; willing away the feelings, the tingling, and the rush of a roller coaster doing vertical loops in his stomach. _Get out of my head, Noah. Go away! Leave me the hell alone!_

With those thoughts, he could calm his mind and concentrate on his homework, that is, until there was a knock on the door. He threw down his pen, frustrated because he knew it was his brother; his parents would have announced themselves.

"What!" he yelled angrily without a care for Noah's feelings. "Get lost and leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you!" He only wanted to forget about the erotic feelings he had for Noah. He wanted Noah to feel like a brother— without the romantic feelings and tender touches.

"Luke? Did I do something?" Johnny asked with his ear to the door.

Noah turned down the volume on his radio when he heard his brother yelling. He stepped into the hall and saw Johnny standing there. Just then, he saw Luke's bedroom door fly open and Luke jump into Johnny's arms.

"You're just what I needed!" Luke exclaimed happily, kissing Johnny's lips. The hunger of the kiss raised fullness to their groins.

Noah watched Johnny walk Luke backwards into the bedroom before the door slammed shut. He bit his lip and went downstairs. In the kitchen he pulled out a number he carried around in his jeans pocket and made the call.

In Luke's bedroom they fell to the bed without so much as a gasp or a whimper, and into a scintillating kiss.

Bailey sat on Alan's bed, with the permission of his father, with the condition that the door stay open all the way.

"So, what do you think of Johnny and Luke?" Bailey asked, taking Alan's glasses off and setting them on the nightstand, then added, "I think they're cute together. Johnny is so nice. I hope Andy calls Noah, at least then we're all be paired up.

"Paired with two gay couples." Alan laughed. "Luke is gay and dating a football player. I would have never ever guessed in a million years---" A thought came to him. "Oh Shit!" His face paled. "Holy fucking-A!" He seemed frozen to the spot.

"What?" Bailey asked, cocked her head to the side and waved her hand in front of Alan's indigo colored eyes.

"I remember--- uum, shit!" Alan blinked hard and focused on Bailey's face. "I can't say."

"Why?"

"Because it was told to me in secrecy." Alan reeled with the knowledge he had to keep quiet about, but he was bursting to tell someone.

"You can tell me, I'm your girlfriend- aren't I?" Bailey smiled shyly. "We have been hanging out more than ever before."

"You are? My girlfriend?" Alan's eyes got big and a super-cute smile spread across his face.

"Sure. I've been waiting and waiting for you to ask me, but you haven't. So, what do you say?"

Alan knelt on the bed and hugged her. "Bailey-bear! This is so awesome!" he squealed in delight before he kissed her cheek. She turned her head and smiled. Alan's head moved forward hesitantly and eventually their lips touched creating warmth and heated bodies. Bailey pressed against Alan's body, almost toppling him over, when she wanted a deeper kiss. Alan allowed her to use her tongue; ripples of excitement flowed throughout his body.

They withdrew simultaneously for a breath. Alan opened his eyes, seeing Bailey smiling at him; her eyelashes batting sexily.

"You're so handsome." she told him, running her fingers through his hair.

"You're pretty." Alan spoke honestly in a quiet voice.

"Thanks, but you don't have your contacts in or your glasses on. I probably look gorgeous!" she laughed, lowering herself to the bed again.

Alan sat too, facing her, and took her hands to hold. "You are, to me. I told you how I feel about you."

"Yes you did." She stopped laughing and stared at his face. _Such a cutie and I've always loved his humor and personality._

Alan blushed at the way Bailey was looking at him. He spoke to distract her. "I'm going to tell you, but only because I'm confused about it. You can't tell anyone, ok? Promise?"

"Cross my heart." Bailey said seriously. "I won't betray your trust." She sat forward and waited for Alan to begin.

Alan's eyes were in Bailey's hands, caressing the tops of them with his thumbs. "Well, a while ago, Luke came to me- before he came 'out'. He had this problem, a hypothetical one, or so he said." He looked up and told Bailey about the 'girl' Luke was dating and how he was attracted to another 'girl'. He explained how he never thought much about it until now.

Bailey shrugged. "So. Obviously the 'girl' he was dating was Johnny."

"Yea, I figured that out, but here's the thing, the kicker. He said the other 'girl' he was attracted to, again hypothetically, was 'like' a relative!" Alan paused, watching Bailey trying to figure that out.

"You-- you mean Noah?" She whispered as if saying it aloud was taboo and god would strike her dead for insinuating that Luke had a thing for his own brother. "That's really..." she shivered.

"I thought so too," Alan said, looking away in embarrassment, "but if you think about it, they aren't really brothers. Noah is his foster brother. Mr. And Mrs. Snyder can't adopt him, good thing too; since Luke feels like that toward him."

"But still--" Bailey frowned. "I guess you're right- they didn't grow up in the same house. What about Johnny? Luke can't persue Noah if he's dating Johnny and I like him! I like Noah too, but Johnny was and still is Luke's first boyfriend!" She pulled her hands away to rest them in her lap. "Luke can't dump him. He better not or I'll send you to kick some sense into him."

"We can't interfere. Remember, I told you not to say a word."

"Yea, I remember. Noah would probably freak out too if he knew what Luke was thinking. Let's pray Noah never finds out." Bailey tucked her long, brown hair behind her ears and shook her head. "Weird."

Alan let out one short laugh. "Lets switch to another topic. I think we could talk this one to death and revive it a million times and it still would sound odd to us."

"What do you want to talk about?" Bailey asked with a sly grin, gazing at her handsome boyfriend. She still couldn't believe the change; what a haircut and contacts could do. "Do you think you could close the door?"

Alan shook his head. "No, why?"

"No reason. How about you follow me?" she asked. Her heart pounded rapidly at the thought of being alone, really alone, with Alan. She rose off the bed and waited for him.

"Follow you where?" Alan asked, rising off the bed too.

She kissed him while she fisted the front of his shirt, pulling him, getting him to walk with her. She broke the kiss to whisper, "This way." then yanked him and kissed him again. She peeked both ways in the hall, then led him to the upstairs bathroom. Once there, she held him against the closed, locked, white painted wooden door.

"We're not supposed to be alone with the door closed." Alan said with reason, knowing he may get in trouble.

"It's ok, just be quiet. If anyone comes, you can say through the door that I left."

Alan was about to say something, but she covered his lips with her finger. "Shhh" Her finger left his lips and dragged down to his chin, his shirt and to his waistband.

"Uh, what are you--"

"I just want to see, please?" Bailey asked before she tenderly kissed his lips.

Alan wasn't sure he wanted her to see 'it'. He didn't want her to laugh or make a snide comment. "I don't know."

"Oh." she said disappointingly. "If you're worried I was going to do something, I wasn't."

"It's just— how can I explain?" he sighed. "It's...."

"I'm fine Alan." she said. "We can make out."

"You JUST want to look?"

Bailey nodded with hope and anticipation.

"Ok, but I'm sorta shy about this. You'll be the first one to see 'it'. The first girl. In gym the guys see each other all the time in the showers."

"Us girls too." she giggled because Alan was being so silly.

"Ok," Alan said, getting the courage to undo his jeans. He looked down and bit the inside of his cheek as he thumbed the metal button through the eyelet. He slowly pushed the zipper down, holding his breath, and paused. _God what am I doing? She's gonna see my dick! Wait, I shouldn't be ashamed. Does she expect me to ask to see her parts too--_

"Lose the pants Alaaan...." Bailey drawled his name in a quiet manner so that if anyone was walking by, they wouldn't hear her.

"Ok." Alan's voice was shaking and breathless. He could feel himself lowering his jeans and briefs. He wanted to close his eyes, but he also wanted to see her reaction.

"Oh wow." Bailey glanced at his cock and up to his face. "Thank you!" She said gratefully, cupping his face and full out kissing him. She pressed her body to his and felt Alan's arms wrap around her waist and deepen the kiss with his tongue. He moaned against her mouth and felt his body reacting positively to the sensations running through it.

"Ooh!" Bailey backed away after she felt Alan's cock growing and pressing against her stomach. "Shit Alan." she stared at it wide eyed and open mouthed. She reached for it, shocking both herself and Alan.

"Uhhfff!" Alan grunted at the delicate touch.

"It's so soft and smooth, but hard too, you know?"

"Um-Hm" Alan closed his eyes enjoying the way she was touching him.

"Do you want me to er... keep touching you?" she asked shyly; her cheeks red with heat and want.

"If you want to." Alan whispered, forcing his hips to stay still and his knees locked in place.

"I asked first. I can stop."

"NO..." Alan answered almost before Bailey was through asking. "I mean no, it's nice."

Bailey let out a little giggle and wrapped her fingers around his shaft. "I just go up and down, right?"

"Ohhh god yesssss..." Alan murmured. He opened his eyes and looked down to watch his girlfriend stroke his erection. It was almost too good to be true. "Mmm faster... just a little bit."

Bailey moved her hand over the smooth skin. Looking up, her eyes met Alan's heavy lidded ones and heard his breath come out raspingly. "Are you ok?" she wondered aloud. "Does it hurt?"

"Fuck no!" Alan answered, feeling his nuts tighten. "I'm going to cum. Get that towel." he pointed to the one on the counter. Bailey held it near his cock and waited. She continued pumping and felt Alan's groin hitting her fist as he rocked his hips back and forth.

"Bailey... oh fuck... aaaahhh..."

Bailey watched the milky-white liquid spout from the slit on the head of Alan's cock and land on the towel. It kept coming out, spurt after spurt. "Whoa!" she said in awe and astonishment. "ALL of that is CUM?"

"Shhhh, yea... hmmm" Alan moaned and finished. He rested against the door and curved his lips into a smile. Bailey smiled back, handing the towel to Alan so he could wipe himself off. She turned and washed her hands in the sink.

Alan pulled up his clothing and threw the towel in the hamper. He got a fresh one out, turned to Bailey and handed it to her so she could dry her hands. He cleared his throat and said, "I know this is going to sound stupid, but thank you."

"Thank you for letting me.... you know." She smiled and dried her hands. When she finished, she kissed Alan again. "I better get home."

"I hope no one heard." Alan said, brushing her hair with his fingers.

"I don't think so." Bailey assured him. "See you soon."

"Let me go into the hall first." Alan said, slowly opening the door. "Clear." he whispered over his shoulder and felt Bailey's hand on his butt.

"Come on, I'll walk you down to the front door." he chuckled, feeling a slight squeeze.

"Coming." Bailey replied and followed her boyfriend.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 31

Luke and Johnny wiped their mouths. This was their favorite position- 69. Quickly they got dressed in case someone should knock on the door, then they laid side by side on Luke's bed.

Luke caressed Johnny's cheek and smiled with a crooked grin and his white teeth shining. His eyes were twinkling and his heart thundering. "I can't stop saying how awesome you are."

"Say it some more then, princess." Johnny chuckled.

"Asshole."

"Smart ass." Johnny said with affection and added with an enticing whisper, "I really want you."

"I know, me too." Luke's fingers swept Johnny's hair back. "I love being with you."

"Me too." Johnny replied, nuzzling Luke's nose with his own. "When do you think we can be together ALL alone?"

"I don't know." Luke answered. His heart skipped a series of beats before he answered, "What about your house?"

Johnny sighed, "Someone is always there."

"We'll figure something out, no rush." Luke pecked Johnny on the lips. "I love kissing you." he smiled.

"I love--" Johnny began, but a knock on the door stopped him abruptly.

"Yea?" Luke sat up.

"I'm saying goodbye. I have a date." Noah said in a harsh tone, hoping to make Luke jealous with his statement.

Luke got up and opened the door, leaving Johnny laying on the bed. "With who?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"Andy." Noah smiled. He heard the protectiveness in Luke's question.

"Humph." Luke frowned. "Have fun." he began to close the door, but Noah's arm stopped it. He came close and asked in a whisper, "Is the green-eyed monster coming out?"

"**Get lost**!" Luke blanched at what slipped out of his mouth. He quickly tried to take it back, "I didn't mean that."

"Yes, you did." Noah said harshly. "Want me to get kidnapped again and sold in some other country as a sex slave?"

"No!" Luke argued. "It just came out. Sorry."

"I'm gone. Have fun with your boyfriend." Noah said, glancing at Johnny, seeing his messed up hair and a relaxed look on his face. _Did they do 'it'... while everyone is here? God Luke is so stupid!_

"Good, then go instead of standing there like a dork." Luke glared at him. _Why does he have to look that good for Andy? Is he trying to impress him? Go already! Leave! Don't stand there looking hot and desirable. I have a boyfriend Noah- and he's not you._

Luke closed the door and turned back to Johnny. "What a dick!" he said, sitting next to his boyfriend.

"I thought he looked handsome, but he was trying to get you riled up. I think he's jealous you have a relationship with me and he doesn't have one with anyone yet. I hope he and Andy get along."

"Me too. Noah needs a life. Let's not talk about him anymore."

"Done." Johnny pulled Luke on top of himself. "Did I tell you how hot and sexy you are today, princess?"

Luke chuckled and kissed him.

"Bye Noah. Have a good time." Holden said to Noah. "You look nice."

"Thank you." Noah ducked his head.

"What?" Holden sensed something was wrong. He stood up from the couch and walked to the front door where Noah was looking out, waiting for Andy to pick him up.

"Nothing. Well, it's kinda something, but it's not important." he answered, wondering if he could trust Holden.

"Tell me about it before your date comes. I promise to listen and not give advice." Holden said tactfully and smiled at Noah.

"Ok, it's this guy."

"Andy?"

"No." Noah shook his head. "Another guy."

"What about him?" Holden asked interestedly.

"Well, I fell in love with him, but he doesn't feel the same way I do. It's painful to see him because he's dating someone else and they're very close."

"Unrequited love." Holden nodded. "That's tough, son."

"You don't know the half of it." Noah mumbled, but Holden heard him and figured out who Noah was in love with- Johnny.

"I know I said no advice, but going out with another boy will help ease the pain of not being able to have what you want. We've all been through it before. You'll get through it. I promise." Holden patted Noah on the back. "Looks like he's here."

The doorbell rang. Noah turned and saw Andy through the glass window in the door.

"You can do it." Holden encouraged.

"Thanks, dad." Noah said and put a smile on his face for his date. He opened the door to a grin on Andy's face. He introduced Andy to Holden, then they took off.

Andy and Noah sat across from each other in the diner, finishing their food.

"I'm glad you called." Andy said to Noah with a smile. "This was a great idea. I had nothing planned today."

Noah's smile matched Andy's. "I'm glad you were free. I had to get out of the house."

"Why is that?" Andy stood up and held out his hand for Noah.

Noah took Andy's warm hand and rose from the chair. "There's some stuff that's going on that I can't handle right now."

"Sorry to hear that. Hey! I've got an idea!" Andy suggested, "Let's take a walk around the park and you can tell me about it."

Noah nodded. He needed the fresh air and the exercise would help clear his mind.

Noah stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans while he and Andy walked through the woods, on the path Andy jogged on frequently. He'd found Johnny a while back, beaten up, at this park.

Andy sighed and looked up at the sky. "It's a beautiful day."

Noah was thinking about Luke and Johnny and the sexually gratified look on Johnny's face. _Damn you Luke. Why do you have to be such a knock out, have a hilarious sense of humor and a wonderful personality? AND a boyfriend, a nice one at that--_

"Hey Noah." Andy said, stopping and putting a hand on Noah's shoulder.

"Sorry." Noah apologized. Why was he here? Oh yea, to make Luke jealous. Did it work?

"Are you alright? You seem a little distracted."

"I-" _Gotta stop thinking about my brother._ Noah stepped forward and kissed Andy on the mouth.

Andy's head jerked back. "Whoa there. Take it easy." he said softly-spokenly.

"Oh god." Noah shook his head, disappointed in himself.

"Hey, it's alright. You're just moving kind of fast for me. This is our first real date." Andy smiled handsomely.

Noah ducked his head and muttered timidly, "I just--"

Andy cocked his head and raised Noah's face. "What?"

"I wanted to see if I had..." Noah couldn't look into Andy's eyes. "You're really attractive, but... I don't know."

"You wanted to see if you felt anything when you kissed me." Andy nodded.

"Yes. Sorry." Noah apologized. He didn't want Andy to think he was using him as a test subject.

"It's alright. So who is he?"

"He?"

"The guy you're trying to forget about. The one you're running from?"

"He's got a boyfriend."

"So what. You should ask him out."

"No way!" Noah chuckled, visioning Luke's appalled face. They began to walk again.

"You'll never know if he might like you too, despite having a boyfriend, Noah." Andy glanced at Noah, picked up a walking stick and used it as they continued on.

"I can't approach him. He's.... it's so complicated."

"I'm not going to pressure you to talk to me, but I'll listen if you ever want to confide in me." Andy said in a kind, caring voice.

"Thanks for understanding. I'm sorry this date didn't work out."

"No prob. There's other guys around, not as handsome as you, but maybe in college..." He snickered and patted Noah's back.

Johnny grasped Luke's butt while their mouths were getting reacquainted. "Oh hey!" Johnny said after breaking the kiss to give Luke the news. "My parents found a place to open their own law firm. Their waiting for the financing to go through."

"That's great!" Luke smiled down at his boyfriend. "Where is it?"

"Don't know. They don't want to say until everything is signed on the dotted line. But there's that for lease sign on that building downtown. I think it's there."

"Cool!" Luke ducked and commenced kissing Johnny's neck before sucking on it, bruising it with a hickey. He could tell Johnny loved this type of contact by the way he was grunting softly and pushing his hips upward, off the bed onto Luke's groin.

Luke's doorknob rattled. "Luke, unlock and open this door. You know better."

"Ok mom."

"Lunch is ready, come down." Lilly stated.

Luke whispered to his boyfriend, "How are we supposed to go down with matching boners?" He laughed and got off Johnny's body.

"Hm, we don't have enough time to take care of them so get rid of it by thinking about something else." Johnny sat up, stretched and snickered at the sight of Luke's very tight jeans.

Luke noticed where Johnny's hungry looking eyes were fixed. "Don't gaze at my crotch like that, it's only going to make it worse! Shit, I want you to make love to my dick with your mouth again."

"Don't talk like that." Johnny wrapped his arms around Luke's waist. "I'll never get rid of this pesky hard on."

"It's only pesky at times like this, otherwise it's a welcome sight." Luke teased. "Lets head down, by the time we reach the kitchen, we should be fine."

"Nah-uh. Not if I'm following you down and watching your hot ass bounce up and down while you walk." He licked his lips and squeezed the rounded mounds. "mmm nice, princess." he smiled.

"Not now." Luke grinned, pushing him away. "I'm hungry."

"Me too... for you." Johnny teased.

Luke rolled his eyes before bubbly laugh came from his mouth.

Andy dropped Noah in front of the Snyder home. Noah saw Johnny's car in the driveway and stared at the gigantic house. He didn't want to go inside and see Luke with his Johnny. Andy told him to tell Luke how he felt, but he couldn't- not again. He and Luke kissed and it seemed so right between both of them, but Luke had stayed with Johnny and away from him. Luke didn't feel the same way about him as he felt about Luke.

Noah turned away from the house and walked down the sidewalk to Alan's house. He rang the doorbell and waited for someone to come to the door.

Alan opened the door and grinned when he saw Noah. "Hi! Come in."

Noah walked across the threshold and into the nice home. "Is there somewhere that we can talk alone- your room?"

~.~.~

Alan sat on his computer chair while Noah paced the bedroom with unsure footing and mixed feelings about telling his friend about what was going through his mind. Would Alan kick him out if he told him how he felt about Luke?

"Dude, what's going on? Did something happen?" Alan asked, his brows high.

"No, yes, no." Noah raked his hair back with his fingers. "ARRRRR!" he growled loudly.

Alan had jumped a mile when Noah expressed himself with that sound. He said quietly, "Let it out. Just say it."

Noah stopped and stared at Alan. "I don't want to lose you as a friend. I really don't, but I need advice and if I don't get some from someone, I'm going to go mad." Noah looked at Alan for another heartbeat and turned away, back to pacing and grinding his teeth due to nervousness.

"I don't know what to say to that. How can I promise to be your friend if you don't think I will be one afterward? You can't put that on me, Noah." Alan stated, making a whole lot of sense.

"You're right." Noah nodded, stuffing his pockets with his hands. "Ok, here goes, "I'm in love with a guy and he knows it, BUT, he's dating someone else and I think they're in love."

Alan took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. This was not his area of expertise- actually, he had no area of expertise in the world of dating. "So, what do you need me for? It sounds like it's pretty cut and dry. The guy isn't going to leave his boyfriend for you."

Noah stopped in front of Alan and said with a scoff, " Thanks for being so harsh and blunt."

"Sorry, but you know what I mean. You told him how you feel and he's still with his boyfriend. What do you need me for?"

"Here's the thing, Alan." Noah paced again, picking up speed, turning swiftly to walk back and forth. "We've kissed a few times and each time it was awesome. It wasn't like I initiated it either. We both felt the spark, the electricity. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Oh yea!" Alan beamed, thinking about Bailey and the bathroom. "It's a fantastic feeling, that chemistry."

"Yes! Chemistry! Exactly. So what does that mean? Should I pursue him or let him go?"

"Jeez I don't know. You really think he's going to dump the guy he's with to be with you?"

"I don't know!"

"Cause you told him how you feel and he's not budging and coming to you."

"I know, I know. If only I could talk to him, but I can't. We've been fighting."

"Hmmmm," Alan thought, then smiled. "Maybe you're fighting with each other BECAUSE of the attraction you both feel for each other and he's frustrated and doesn't know what to do about it. He's conflicted."

Noah stopped pacing and grinned. He pointed at Alan and moved his finger up and down with agreement. "Damn! I bet that's it!"

Alan polished his nails on his shirt with a grin. "Hey, I'm a pretty good go-to guy for advice. I'm still your friend. What was the big deal?"

"It's who the guy is that you're gonna flip out over."

"Who is the guy?" Alan asked slowly with apprehension.

Noah looked down and whispered, "Luke."

"Who?" Alan leaned forward on his chair. "I couldn't hear you."

Noah took a big inhale and closed his eyes so he wouldn't see the look of repulsion on Alan's face. This time he replied more confidently, "Luke." He didn't hear a thing for a moment, not even a gasp. Then it came, the laughter. He opened his eyes to see Alan slapping his knee and a big grin on his face as he laughed louder and harder.

"It's not a joke!" Noah said over the din of laughter. "I'm serious. Totally serious, Alan!" He tapped Alan on the shoulder. "Stop laughing. I told you in confidence and to tell you the truth, you're ticking me off right now."

Alan wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye and stood up. "I believe you. It's just funny that...." he chuckled again. "Luke came to me and told me the same thing a while ago."

Noah's face registered shock. "H- He did?"

Alan nodded. "Bailey and I were talking about it today. We both think it's weird because we know you as brothers, but you're really not. But still..." He looked off, past Noah, thoughtfully.

"Ok, this is good news!"

"No." Alan shook his head. "I told him to stay with Johnny and he agreed. He really, really likes him."

"Yea, I know." Noah pressed his lips together as thoughts of Luke liking him ran through his mind. "What do I do?"

"Nothing?" Alan shrugged. Now this part was where he literally had no idea what Noah should do. "You've done all you can."

Noah sighed sadly. "I know. I want him to be happy and if that's with Johnny, so be it. Johnny is a very kind person and he's really good to Luke. I'd be an idiot to try and come between them."

"You'd risk your friendship with Luke, not to mention his trust and he may hate you."

"Yea, there's that." Noah licked his lips out of nervousness and plopped on Alan's bed.

~~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- **32**  
Rated: R  
Dedication-- goes to Danielle and nukesandwich

**A week later.....**

Lilly and Holden were in the home office while the boys were at school. Holden was on the phone with Mr. Hughes, their attorney. Lilly sat across from her husband with the desk separating them. Holden glanced at Lilly with a defeated frown and shook his head at her. "Yes, I understand." he said into the phone. He'd just learned that Mr. Winston Mayer was back in jail for leaving the state of Illinois and not checking in with his parole officer as ordered by the court. The bad news was that Winston wouldn't give up his parental rights; the Snyders' could not adopt Noah.

"We expected as much." he said to Mr. Hughes and covered the phone to tell Lilly the other news. "The foster papers went through and he is officially our foster son!" he said with a smile for his wife and received a hesitant one in return. For so long she had dreamed of adopting Noah, but this news was good, at least Noah could live here.

"In other news," Mr. Hughes stated, typing on his keyboard to bring up information he had reviewed earlier. "Henry and Joan Harris have been arrested and are awaiting trial."

"Who?" Holden asked puzzled and put the phone on 'speaker' so Lilly could hear as well.

"Aliases include, Frank and Jocelyn Wilson, Bob and Anita Rogers, and Earl and Connie Stewart."

Lilly gasped and widened her eyes. Holden's mouth opened. Nothing but silence filled the room.

"They were caught in Kentucky. They had lured a four year old into their car. A neighbor saw it happen and memorized the license plate and called the police immediately."

Lilly covered her mouth with her hand, thanking god that the child didn't have to go through what Noah had with these awful people.

"Those bastards! Thank god for the neighbor!" Holden's face showed how angry and disgusted he was by the Stewarts.

"We'll need Noah to come and sit on the witness stand to tell his story. That will cinch the case and put them away for good." Mr. Hughes said.

Lilly found her voice and said, "Of course."

"I'll be in touch when the judge has set a court date. Congratulations on gaining a foster son." Mr. Hughes said more lightly and hung up.

Johnny, Luke, Noah, Bailey and Alan sat at the lunch table together even though Luke and Johnny had been invited to sit at the football players table. Luke didn't want to leave Noah alone and Johnny understood completely. He didn't care where they ate, as long as they were together.

"Wanna come over tonight?" Johnny whispered to Luke; his hand resting on Luke's thigh. No one in the lunchroom could see due to the way they were seated at the table, but Noah could see Johnny's hand because he was sitting right next to Luke. He lost his appetite and just sat there.

"Can't." Luke replied. He wanted to talk to Noah alone and get things back to where they were talking and goofing around again. It pained him that they couldn't even speak without arguing.

"Ok." Johnny squeezed Luke's leg and began to eat again.

Alan was sitting right next to Noah. When Bailey excused herself to go to the restroom, he whispered excitedly to him, "She's given me two blow jobs so far!" He decided to stop wearing his glasses and put in contacts today, as well as dressing up, yet still casual. Bailey really liked the look.

Noah glanced to his right, at Alan. "Really?" _Why is everyone getting __action and not me?_ he sighed.

"Yes. Oh my god it's indescribable. It's such a rush." he said with enthusiasm, his eyes glowing with the memory.

Noah nodded. He didn't really have anything to say. Good for you? I'm proud of you? He definitely didn't want to ask what it felt like. He wanted to experience it for himself someday and come to his own conclusions. He didn't want to be influenced by Alan's experience.

"We're holding off on real sex though. We're not ready." Alan stated with sureness.

"That's smart." Noah shrugged. Again, what could he say? He became interested in Luke and Johnny— who were giggling and whispering to each other. He stayed rooted to his seat. He didn't want to be jealous and angry anymore. It wasn't productive and made him feel lonely. He turned away from Alan and asked Luke and Johnny, "What going on?"

Johnny smiled at Noah and answered, "Not much. Sorry if we're being rude."

"You're not. I am for interrupting." Noah's smile was barely there.

"We were talking about last weekend when we went for a walk at the park." Luke giggled again. He and Johnny HAD taken a walk, but went off the path for some kissing and other activity and almost got caught by a jogger due to Luke's loud grunt. They both were freaked out that they might have been seen- with Luke's cock in Johnny's mouth.

"That was a walk to remember." Johnny nudged Luke with his shoulder, unintentionally bumping Luke into Noah.

Luke mumbled, "Sorry." He didn't want to argue with Noah about the hard jostle- he was tired of the tense air around them.

"It's ok." Noah said with a genuine smile. He had welcomed the contact— it made him feel warm all over. The warmth lingered for a minute, then left, replaced by a longing for more heat. Luke was still looking at him closely. Noah felt the need to fill the silence. "Um," He couldn't think of a damn thing to say!

Luke chuckled and turned back to Johnny; his leg brushing against Noah's briefly. He couldn't deny how the physical sensation made him feel, so he decided to move his leg back where it had been to press it against Noah's leg.

_Is he doing that on purpose?_ Noah wondered. Ever since Alan told him that Luke had feelings for him, he'd been watching Luke closely for any sign of a certain look or a not so innocent touch. Luke had patted him on the back as he walked by whenever Noah was seated at the kitchen table. He'd caught Luke looking at him with his brows drawn together as if he was wondering about something, but he couldn't read Luke's face or his moods.

Anyway, Luke's leg touching his was encouraging, arousing, and made him sweat.

"I'm taking my tray up, want me to take yours too?" Alan asked Noah politely.

"Sure." Noah picked up his tray and stacked it on Alan's. Noah put his elbows on the table and listened to Luke talk about Geometry. How boring! How can he keep Johnny's attention talking about angles and shit? He wondered, then realized it was Luke's voice that kept his interest. It was low and sexy. Did Johnny get off on listening to it? Noah knew he could. It was the tone and lilt of Luke's voice that engaged Johnny and Noah in rapt attention.

Bailey walked back into the cafeteria. Standing at the table, she asked anyone who would listen, "Where did Alan go?"

Noah replied, "He took our trays to the front." He pointed behind himself.

Bailey looked up, a frown and extreme jealously appeared on her usually calm face. "That bitch!" she said, stomping off.

Noah, Luke and Johnny turned in their seats to see what was going on.

Bailey approached Alan and Brittney. "Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend, bitch!"

"Bailey." Brittney sneered. "This hot babe is YOUR boyfriend? I don't think so."

"Yes he is! Now, hands off before I break your arm!" Bailey yelled, her face showed that she wasn't joking.

"No way." Brittney grinned meanly, pulling Alan tighter and closer to her body. "I invited him to the weight room, it's empty right now." she insinuated lewdly.

Bailey looked at Alan with a scowl, waiting for her boyfriend to do or say something, but she was disappointed. Alan opened his mouth; nothing came out. He wasn't used to this kind of attention, or Bailey's temper, and was out of his element.

Brittney laughed at the shocked look on Bailey's face. "Looks like you don't stand a chance. I 'put out', honey and you don't. You have your legs pressed so tightly together that you could crack a walnut with them.

Bailey came back with, "Yours are so far apart I could drive a semi through them!"

"Bitch." Brittney said before she turned to Alan and purred, "Come on baby. I'm gonna show you a real good time."

"No." Alan strongly refused, stepping out of her embrace.

Bailey took Alan's hand. "See? He doesn't want you." She squinted, looking at Brittney before she pointed and said with a short laugh, "You know, you have lines and wrinkles on your face from your mouth being constantly open because of all the blow jobs you've given."

Brittney got in Bailey's face and shouted, "Shut up! At least I know how to please a man, you mousy, little wench!"

Bailey's voice lowered. She said hatefully, "You're just a whore. You have the reputation as a slut who'll do anyone and do anything— you big boobed, fat assed, promiscuous bitch! Go to hell!"

Alan started laughing and pulled Bailey away before she got slapped across the face by the cheerleader.

Brittney's face was red from anger and embarrassment at being told off. She whirled around and left the cafeteria.

"That's my girl." Alan looked at Bailey with respect.

Bailey started in on him now. "How could you let her put her arm around you, Alan? Don't you have a backbone?" she asked with disbelief and a grimace twisted on her lips, then she stormed off angrily.

~~~~~~

At the end of the day, Luke, Noah, Bailey and Alan were in line to board the bus. Johnny ran to Luke who was facing away and wrapped his arms around him. He kissed Luke's neck and whispered in his ear, "Come over tomorrow, ok?"

Luke turned around with a smile to reply, then it disappeared when Johnny covered his lips with a kiss. Noah hurriedly averted his gaze, seeing Alan staring at him. Alan mouthed the word 'sorry'. He knew Noah had a thing for Luke, but he'd hoped it would have gone away by now. Apparently it hadn't. While Luke and Johnny made out with their arms around each other, Alan turned to Bailey, talking to the back of her head.

"I'm sorry." he said humbly. He didn't mean for her to get hurt. There was no way in hell he was going to take Brittney up on her offer to go to the weight room. Not a chance. He was in love with Bailey and had been since the beginning of the school year and Bailey knew it. Why she chose to ignore that, he didn't know. She also hadn't acknowledged his 'sorry' just now.

"Bailey-Bear, I wouldn't have gone with her. I'm attracted to you. You're beautiful and I love **you**." he begged, "Please talk to me?" She still didn't answer. Fear rose in his throat. "D-Did... Did you break up with me? Are we not together anymore?" Bailey still didn't answer. Alan's shoulders slumped, his head dropped, and his mood plummeted into depression. He stared at the concrete as the line to get on the bus moved forward.

Noah tapped Luke on the back. "The line is moving." he said and turned away from the sight of Johnny's hands and fingers running through Luke's silky hair.

Luke stepped back. "I'll see you tomorrow, Johnny,"

"Count on it, princess." Johnny grinned, gave Luke a quick peck on the cheek. "Bye Noah." He said before he walked away.

Luke sighed with a goofy smile on his face.

"Have you two...?" Noah asked, mentally crossing his fingers that they hadn't.

"No." Luke shook his head.

"Hm." Noah nodded.

Bailey got on the bus and sat next to the window while Alan walked up the aisle. He glanced at Bailey and let out a whoosh of air. She had ear buds in, listening to her ipod! She hadn't heard a word he'd said! She didn't answer the question about breaking up because she didn't hear him, not because she agreed with him! He happily sat next to her, turned off her ipod, and repeated how much he loved her and how sorry he was. She regarded him for a few moments, making him suffer, then she smiled and took his hand.

Noah stepped into the bus also sitting next to the window on the bench seat behind Bailey and Alan. Luke took the spot next to him. He sat as close as he could get, almost sitting on top of Noah. It made Noah uncomfortable. Why was Luke doing this?

"Uh, hello?" Noah shifted his hips on the plastic seat.

"Well hello there! Fancy meeting you here. How have you been?" Luke said teasingly with a lopsided smile aimed at Noah.

Noah snickered, "You're crazy. Wanna sit in my lap to see out the window?" he joked.

Luke asked, clapping, "Would you let me?" then he chuckled at the surprised expression on Noah's face.

"What's got you so happy? Johnny blow you behind the school or something?"

"Noooo!" Luke shoved Noah with his elbow. "Smart-ass. It's a nice day, that's why."

Noah frowned and looked out the window. Dark clouds were rolling in and the smell of rain filled the air; mixing with the diesel fuel scent and plastic-y smell in the bus. "It looks like rain." he turned back to Luke, whose face was right there, trying to peer out the window. They looked into each others eyes for a moment until Noah looked down.

"I know." Luke said in a soft whisper that titillated Noah's inner ear. "I love the sound of rain and thunder. It's romantic."

"Romantic?" Noah laughed nervously. He was tingling and the air on the bus became thick with humidity and electricity... or was it his imagination?

"Yes!" Luke stated adamantly. "It gets really dark even though it's the middle of the day, rain splatters on the windows and thunder rumbles. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it." Luke took a deep breath through his nose, smiling, then sighing. Suddenly the clouds opened up, letting loose torrents of rain.

"There ya go, Luke. It's raining, does it make you horny?" Noah joked with a half laugh while Luke gave him a playful evil eye.

~~~~~~

The bus lurched to a stop. "This is us. Prepare to get wet." Luke said, standing up and maneuvering into the aisle, so did Noah, Alan and Bailey.

They dashed to their homes, getting pounded by the downpour. Luke opened the front door and Noah followed him inside.

"Mom? Dad?" Luke asked, looking around.

Noah went to the kitchen to get a snack and saw a note on the counter. "Luke, in here!"

Luke walked into the room. He put his school books on the counter next to Noah's and asked, "What's it say?" as he took off his wet shirt.

Noah stared at Luke's naked torso with a longing look, then tore his gaze away when he noticed Luke smirking at him. He looked down and read the note before he answered. "Ah, it says that they went to the farm to put the horses in and that they're going to stay for a while and help grandma move some furniture around. They're also bringing supper home. Burgers and fries."

"Yum." Luke said, rubbing his bare stomach. "I'm going up to change, coming?"

"Yes." Noah said. He followed Luke up the stairs, staring at the body before him and longing to touch the pale skin on Luke's back.

"Come in my room first, I want to tell you something." Luke said over his shoulder, stepping into his bedroom.

_I can't! What if he takes off his jeans? What if I see him in--- shit!_ Noah watched Luke take his shoes off, then his socks and jeans.

Luke stood up after he pulled his feet from the jeans that were puddled on the floor. He looked up, wearing only his boxer briefs, and saw the look in Noah's eyes, but ignored it and walked to him. A loud rumble of thunder, then a crack of lightning filled the room as rain hit the window with its own rhythm. "You're shirt is soaked." he said, pulling Noah's shirt over his head.

Noah was spellbound. He couldn't speak for fear of his voice cracking.

"How's that? Better?" Luke asked, staring at the flat plane of Noah's chest. He reached out and twisted Noah's nipple. "Titty twister!" Luke laughed.

"Dick-hole!" Noah pushed Luke. He shouldn't have. He felt how hot and soft his skin was. How it made his hands tingle, right through his body to his cock. He felt Luke undo his jeans and promptly asked in a high, shocked voice, "What are you doing?"

"Your pants are wet on the bottom like mine were. I hate wet, cold ankles, don't you?" Luke rationalized.

"Yes, but let me do it." Noah said.

"I'm almost done." Luke replied with a discouraged look on his face. "Let me get your shoes and socks first." Luke crouched down- slowly untying one shoe, then the other.

_Is he building up to something? This is nuts. I'm reading into this. He's just being nice. He and Johnny were just making out. He's into his boyfriend. My sex drive is making me crazy, making me think irrationally._

Luke pulled off Noah shoes, then socks and set them aside. He looked up at Noah from his lower position and reached up. He grabbed Noah's belt loops and slowly wiggled his jeans down, inch by inch over his hips until the waistband reached his thighs and they slid down easily.

Luke chuckled. "Nice underwear." he commented.

Noah looked down, seeing the blue and white Calvin Kleins. He blushed and stuttered, "M- Mom put them in my u-underwear drawer."

"It's ok, you can wear my underwear anytime." Luke stood up with a grin, but when he was face to face with Noah, he lost his smile and became serious. He took a half step closer, raised his hands and placed them on the muscles on Noah's shoulders. The thunder shook the house, making Luke jump closer to Noah and laugh at how the sound made him react.

Noah smiled. He loved the sound of Luke's laughter. "I thought the noise made you feel romantic, not frightened." Noah teased, then abruptly stopped when Luke's eyes darkened- his full lips nearing. "What are you doing?" Noah whispered.

Luke pursed his lips to say, "Shhh." The same lips parted slightly. Suddenly, before Noah knew what happened, they were against his lips. He kept his firm until Luke introduced his tongue, running it along the seal of his lips, urgently and impatiently wanting in.

Noah didn't care what was happening now; to his body or his mind or what he was doing or what Luke was doing. All that mattered was what THEY were doing together. Everything around them slipped away as though they were the only ones in the world. Noah didn't know it, but Luke was feeling the same way. He tenderly circled Luke's waist and let Luke's tongue inside. He teased it with his own and watched Luke close his eyes, he did too and pulled Luke to his body, bare chests touching, and raised his hand to the back of Luke's head to hold it still so he could keep kissing him, tasting him, enjoying him.

Luke moaned. His arms instinctively wrapped around Noah's neck. He nipped at Noah's tongue, then at his lips before he broke their kiss. Their eyes opened simultaneously and met with a passionate look. Noah felt himself being led to the bed and lowered.

Lightening flashed, lighting the room for a brief moment followed by more angry thunder, rain and now hail pecked at the window too.

Luke lay next to Noah, running his hands up and down his stomach and chest while kissing his tantalizing lips. He couldn't stop staring into Noah's light blue impassioned eyes. He couldn't stop himself from kissing Noah's neck, then his chest. He couldn't stop his hand from covering Noah's erection.

Noah gasped erotically and moaned, pressing upward against Luke's hand. He closed his eyes feeling Luke squeeze his cock through his underwear. "mmmm" he moaned again, running his fingers down Luke's back to his butt. He heard Luke take in a stiff breath and raise his head from Noah's tasty skin.

"Touch my ass." Luke dove in and licked the curve of Noah's ear, kissed it, nibbled on it.

"I am." Noah said breathlessly. To show Luke that he was, he spanked him gently. "See?"

"Inside..." Luke moan-whispered sensually in Noah's ear, bringing a moan to Noah's lips too. He felt Noah snake his hands under his elastic waistband and cup one bare cheek. "Shhhit- ohhh" Luke's whisper ached with desire for intimacy.

"You've got a really nice ass." Noah said, wishing he could have thought of a better compliment.

"You've got a really nice cock." Luke snickered. "Mind if I get acquainted with it?"

The exhale of a burst of air hit Luke's face. "Are you serious?"

"Totally." he answered very seriously with his hand poised, ready to slide under the underwear Noah had on. It was so sexy to see Noah in **his** briefs.

Noah's cock throbbed its approval. "Yes." he answered softly, eyeing Luke's face. He felt Luke's hand slip inside, then fingers teasing his cockhead. They slipped down the pulsing shaft and cupped his nuts. Noah held his breath and tossed his head back. "Luke... ffffuck....!" He grasped Luke's ass hard as the emotion and feeling of elation filled his body and mind.

"Take my underwear off." Luke said, kissing Noah's nipple.

Noah turned his head and reached for Luke.

"No, mine- the ones you're wearing. Get rid of them— I'll get rid of mine too." Before he did he took the same nipple he'd been kissing between his teeth and carefully bit down on it, eliciting a sexy moan to come from Noah. He smiled and sat up, Noah did too and they shimmied out of their underwear. Luke rose off the bed and closed and locked his bedroom door just in case their parents came home.

Noah stared at Luke's butt and swallowed hard, even though his mouth had gone dry, as he thought of biting into one mound of sexiness while pinching the other. Or maybe he'd lick one cheek, then the other?

Luke turned around and caught Noah staring- his eyes glassy from not blinking. He smiled and eyed Noah's erection as he walked to the drawer in the nightstand next to his bed. He spread Noah's legs before he crawled between them. He took Noah's cock with one hand and circled Noah's hole with a lubed finger on the other. He lowered his head and took several long licks on all sides of Noah's cock.

Noah's brain exploded with emotions. Simultaneously, he lost control over his body while tingling sparks coursed throughout it. He grunted and moaned, bucked and whimpered and breathed hard and gasped. His hole never felt this good. Luke kept circling it and pressing against it. He almost came when Luke's mouth engulfed his whole length. Luke pulled up with his lips and back down with the force of his head, slowly growing faster and more intense. Noah felt the tip of Luke's finger enter him, then more of it. It felt odd, uncomfortable, but it was erotic at the same time— especially when Luke massaged his insides and moved that finger in and out.

"Luke---" Noah moaned his name again and again. "Luke"

Luke added a second finger and tried to reach the spot he'd read about. He knew he found it when Noah's back arched— raising his hips way off the bed. He continued to bob his head, easing Noah back down and kept his fingers busy.

"Jeeezus. Luke---" Noah cried out as he came. "Luke---"

Luke devoured Noah's release, derived pleasure in the scent of Noah's nether region and indulged in the way he could make Noah scream out his name passionately. He removed his fingers and licked Noah's cock clean.

Noah had closed his eyes to feel everything, not wanting to be distracted by anything in the room. He shuddered as he came of the high of cumming. His body felt so alive, charged like the lightening outside. His heartbeat was thundering in his ears. He knew what Luke meant now. Thunder and lightening storms were romantic. He felt in tune with the storm outside. He smiled when he felt Luke playing with his hole again.

"Noah? Can I--" Luke's voice sounded thick.

"God yes!" Noah interrupted with a sigh, waiting for Luke's fingers to play with that spot again. To his amazement, he was already getting hard again. He felt Luke open his legs wider to get a better view and easier access, then Luke was rubbing against his hole again. Noah smiled with satisfaction and wiggled, wanting those fingers in now. "Hurry Luke. Please..." he begged with a slight whine.

"OO-OK..." Luke stammered excitedly. He was experiencing every emotional aspect all at once in every fiber of his body while feeling the head of his cock brushing against Noah's hole. He rubbed the opening tenderly, moving his cock around the area, feeling that enticing pucker seducing his cock by contracting and quivering from anticipation. He gently pushed past the ring of muscle at Noah's opening and felt how tight and warm and wet it was inside Noah. He thought he heard himself gasp when he nudged his way in a little further.

Noah yelped loudly, then groaned in pain. "Wh-Why does it hurt?" He asked at the feeling of the slow burn. It didn't hurt before. How many fingers did Luke put inside him?

"Sorry." Luke stopped and held still, waiting for Noah to say it was alright to go ahead.

Noah courageously opened his eyes, seeing Luke above him. His eyes conveyed puzzlement, then he looked down. His stomach sucked in when he gasped. It wasn't Luke's fingers that were partially inside him- it was Luke's cock! He looked up at Luke with his eyes enlarged in shock.

"What?" Luke asked with his brows raised, not understanding.

Noah's eyes were as big as saucers. "I—I didn't know you—"

Now Luke understood that HE had misunderstood. "Shit." he said, horrified by what he'd done. He began to gently back away, but Noah grabbed his hips before he got too far.

"Luke, I... are you sure you want to.... with me?" Noah questioned Luke- feeling doubtful, yet hopeful, wanting to make sure, wanting to get it right before it became wrong.

Luke nodded. "I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't want to, but I got mixed up. I thought you wanted this. What do you want me to do? Stop? Do you want me to go ahead?"

"Yes," Noah whispered. "fuck me, you're already partially inside. Just- don't hurt me."

"I won't." Luke said seriously before he leaned down and kissed Noah long and deep- inching his groin forward until he could go no further.

Noah turned his head to the side to break the kiss. "God! It feels... if feels..." his voice rose with his excitement.

"I know." Luke panted. He couldn't describe it either except to think that he was inside the person he'd been wanting for a long, long time. "Can I keep going?" he asked considerately.

"Hell Yes!" Noah said loudly with a chuckle ending the sentence because he was so happy.

Luke gazed into Noah's eyes, seeing him gazing back with anticipation for what was to come. He gave Noah a smile and looked down, watching himself pull back slowly, dragging his shaft along Noah's insides, making Noah's fingernails rake his back.

Moaning together, Luke gradually went faster. Propelling himself forward and withdrawing, building up to release, to something they would never forget, never recover from, and never take back from each other.

When the crescendo of their cries reached their peaks, they locked eyes once again. They were locked together in love and climaxed together as one. Expressions of love were exchanged, then Luke gently pulled out and collapsed next to Noah. Sweat dripped from their foreheads and covered their torsos with a glistening afterglow.

"I love you, Luke." Noah said, turning his head and kissing him on the cheek.

"I know you do." Luke replied, turning his head and kissing Noah's lips.

Noah didn't mind that Luke didn't say it back to him--- not much, not **too** much. Actually, he did. He began to sit up and leave so he could shower, then retire to his bedroom, but Luke held him back.

"Stay with me." Luke's hand played with Noah's wet bangs arranging them just so.

Noah just nodded and laid back down. "Wanna talk?"

"No, just hold me." Luke whispered, turning into Noah's body and hugging him. "Thank you for everything. Being my friend and this..."

"This...?" Noah repeated.

"Mm-Hm" Luke smiled and closed his eyes for a moment. Noah did too after he stopped trying to analyze the ramifications of what they'd done.

A brief moment turned into an hour and a half. They had awakened when Holden tried to open the door.

"Luke?"

Luke sat up and saw he was naked and that Noah was next to him-- just as naked. He smiled at the memory of what they did and answered his dad. "Yea?"

"Supper is here. Do you know where Noah is? He's not in his room."

"He's in here." Luke snickered and caressed Noah's hairy thigh. Noah sat up and kissed Luke's shoulder.

"Why is the door locked. What are you two doing in there?" Holden asked suspiciously.

"Jeez dad!" Luke tried not to laugh. "We're studying."

"Luke, open this door this instant!" Holden said firmly. "I know you're not studying because your books are downstairs in the kitchen."

"Fine, we were talking about private stuff." Luke got off the bed and pulled on a pair of jeans without bothering with his underwear.

"Luke and Noah. Get your butts downstairs now before I call in the brigade." he joked, completely at ease now. Private stuff or not, they had to eat before their food got cold. He guessed they closed and locked the door because they were talking about boys and didn't want any interruptions when he and Lilly came home.

Noah got off the bed and dressed quickly. "That was close! Good thing you locked the door." he said, walking out of the room with Luke.

"No kidding." Luke replied, thanking his foresight even though he hadn't been aware that he had locked the door. His mind had been on Noah at the time.

Noah and Luke sat across from each other while they ate. Holden and Lilly filled them in about the visit with Emma, but not noticing that Luke and Noah weren't talking to each other. They just shared a glance and a secret smile here and there.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 33

The following day, after the 'after school' incident between Luke and Noah, it was business as usual. Luke was his usual attentive self to Johnny. The weekend came up fast and Luke went out with his boyfriend; Friday night to a movie and Saturday for lunch and to hang out.

Noah didn't quite suffer, he wouldn't put a name to how he felt, but he was confused. He asked himself over and over 'How could Luke share such a meaningful and intimate act with me and pretend like nothing happened between us?' They talked about anything except 'that'. They laughed and joked around and had conversations and everything felt semi-normal— until Noah would catch a look in Luke's eyes or a certain way he smiled at him. He wondered why Luke didn't break up with Johnny. Luke had cheated, why didn't he feel an obligation to tell Johnny? Unless, Luke WAS in love with the former football star. Luke never said 'I love you' back to Noah. It was pretty likely that Luke was in love with Johnny, but if that were true, why did he have sex with Noah?

It made Noah crazy-- this back and forth, wondering and assuming, trying to figure this all out when he really should be talking to Luke about it. He played along all week, smiling and talking so his friends wouldn't see this 'feeling' he couldn't describe.

Luke was chatting with Bailey and Alan on the bus on the way home from school. Noah took the time to watch the scenery pass while he thought of a way to broach the subject about him and Luke having sex last week. He had more questions than he'd originally thought. They kept forming in his mind, tormenting him until he decided that he'd just come out with it--- later.

"Right Noah?" Luke asked, touching Noah's leg above the knee, then using his fingers to brush across his jeans.

"Huh?" Noah asked, his voice high due to the touch that scorched that area on his leg.

An adorable, dimpled smile crossed Luke's face. He leaned in and whispered into Noah's ear. "Nothing, I wanted to know if your were paying attention. I love your muscular legs." His hot breath entered Noah's ear; the brunette shivered.

Luke removed his hand from Noah's leg and went back to talking to Alan and Bailey. Noah listened to them talk about what happened at Johnny's locker. As Noah understood it, Johnny and Luke were making out in the hall. Alan had just walked out of a classroom after staying to talk to the teacher and saw Mr. Phelps, the principal, coming. He ran to Luke and Johnny and pulled them apart just as Mr. Phelps neared and said 'hi' to the three of them.

"You saved my ass!" Luke shook Alan's shoulders in fun.

"Our stop." Noah said, lurching forward when the bus came to a rest.

Luke, Noah, Bailey, and Alan, along with others, exited the bus and went their separate ways, except Luke and Noah. They walked to their house and went inside.

Luke went right to his room after a quick hello to his parents. Noah stayed behind. He pulled up a stool and took a seat in the kitchen while he watched his mom make homemade noodles for pasta tonight. Holden was reading the newspaper at the table and keeping Lilly company, but he lowered the paper when Noah came in.

"Hi Noah." Holden said, watching his son. "How was school today?"

Lilly looked up and smiled. "Are you and Luke getting along?"

"School was ok, and yes, Luke and I are getting along." Noah replied with a sad smile.

Lilly put her flour covered hands on the kitchen island and leaned forward. "Honestly?"

"Yes, really."

"Why do you look so down then?" Lilly questioned with a caring and concerned tone. "Does it have to do with living here? Are you unhappy here?"

"No, nothing like that. I love it here." Noah answered with the quality of his voice being authentic and sincere. "It's a guy. No biggie." he tried to smile, but it came off as a perplexed look because he had no clue what Luke was thinking, IF he was even thinking about what they'd done. _He must be trying to forget about it since he's still with Johnny. He regrets it.... well I don't._

"Is it about that same boy you mentioned before you went out with that senior boy... what was his name...?" Holden tried to remember.

"Andy. Yes, it's the same guy." Noah said quietly and lowered his gaze with humiliation. _Luke totally wishes he didn't have sex with me— I know it, I feel it._

"What guy?" Lilly asked Noah, then glanced at Holden when her son didn't look up or answer. "Well? Is anyone going to fill me in?"

Holden chuckled and stood up with the intention of talking to Noah about it. "I think it's more of a man to man thing."

"Um, actually.... we can stay here, dad. I don't want to talk about it." Noah admitted. What was he supposed to say? I slept with your son, we had sex, I love him? They'd throw him out so fast he wouldn't know what hit him.

"Since you don't want to talk about that, Lilly and I have something we want to share with you." Holden patted Noah on the back and pulled another stool over to sit next to him. Lilly washed and dried her hands and walked around the counter to stand on the other side of Noah.

"Go ahead." Holden told her. The news might be better taken coming from her soft, gentle voice.

"Noah honey, last week your father and I talked to our attorney Mr. Hughes."

"Ok." Noah mumbled, wondering why he was flanked by his parents. It had to be bad news.

"He told us that Earl and Connie Stewart were caught kidnapping a four year old and they'll be put away. Today, Mr. Hughes called and informed us that they were seen in court and a trial date has been set for next year in Kentucky. He needs you there to help put them away, so we thought it would be best if Holden and I bought a small condo down there so we could be with you during the trial, instead of flying back and forth. We want to support you and keep your spirits up."

Holden broke in, "Not that we think you'll fall into a deep depression because you're seeing them again. We know how strong you are and we know how strong you will be in that courtroom."

Lilly nodded and added, "We'll be there for you all the way."

Noah was getting dizzy from looking left at Holden then right at Lilly. He looked straight ahead. See the Stewarts again? He didn't want to, but he had to. "Alright. What about Luke, will he come too?"

"Luke will have to stay behind and attend school." Lilly combed her fingers through Noah's hair and he didn't mind it one bit. Her fingers weren't sending messages to his brain or sounding alarms. It was a nice motherly touch, not something that made his skin crawl.

"Then I'll be behind." Noah said to Lilly.

"That depends on the trial, Noah." Holden said, getting Noah's attention. "When it's time to go, we'll inform the principal and see if your teachers can't modify your homework and studies."

"Simple as that?" Noah asked. It definitely helped when your family had money.

"Yep." Holden stood up. "So, are you in for some barn stall cleaning?"

"Sorry." Noah shook his head. "Can't-- I have some cleaning of my own to do."

"Oh?" Lilly asked.

Noah pointed to his temple and tapped it. "I've got a lot of stuff in here and I have to rummage through it." he laughed, taking his books and heading upstairs.

"Luke and he are two of a kind." Lilly walked around the counter and began to mix her dough again.

"That they are and I'm proud of both of them, but I have to tell you that Noah has completely won me over. He's been through so much and it seems like he never left! He's the man I would want him to be if I'd raised him myself." Holden grinned, then added, "I mean raised together." That got him a smile from his wife.

"I agree. You should tell him that." she said. "He's a very charismatic boy."

"Yes he is. Well, I suppose the horses won't feed themselves and lord knows they don't know how to use a pitchfork for the manure and hay yet, but I keep trying to teach them!" he chuckled, kissed Lilly goodbye and left.

Noah climbed the stairs slowly as he thought of what he'd say to Luke and how he'd say it, but nearing the top of the stairs he heard Luke on the phone with who could only be Johnny. He took another step and heard the squeak of the stair below his foot. He pressed his body against the wall, held still and listened in, knowing how wrong it was to eavesdrop. He hoped Luke hadn't heard him. He heard Luke's deep, rich laughter and figured his brother hadn't heard him otherwise he'd be right there confronting him. Noah stayed put and listened to the one sided conversation.

"Where?" Luke asked. "On our side of the school?"

Noah knew Luke was referring to the right side of the building where they hid to make out or do 'other' things.

"What time?" Luke giggled as though he had a secret; Noah rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I can meet you there during lunch, but what if someone catches us?" Luke asked, then gasped and laughed. "I am not giving you head in thorn bushes! Why don't we wait until after school when I can come over?"

"Alright, oh wait, what about Noah?" Luke questioned.

"NO! I don't want to bring him along!" Luke laughed uproariously at Johnny's humor. When he slowed, he said, "I mean, I don't like to leave him at the table alone with Bailey and Alan. Those two sit there and make eyes at each other and have their own private conversations." Luke listened for a bit.

Noah peeked around the corner wondering why it fell silent. He saw Luke leaning with his back against the wall and one leg crossed over the other. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. Suddenly he let out a soft moan before he said, "Keep going, tell me what you're doing...."

Noah bit his lip. What was he supposed to do? Go to his room and disrupt Luke's call, the one where Johnny was getting off?

"Touch it for me. That's it. You know you want to grab it, but don't! Not yet, just caress it, feel it. Are you?"

Noah loved the sound of Luke's seductive voice and closed his eyes too.

"Now lift it up and put your fingers around it. Just a light stroke at first, mmm...."

Noah was already hard. He wished he could dash to the bathroom or his room and listen in on the conversation and do all the things Luke was telling Johnny to do.

"Hold it tighter now... stroke up and down your long, hard shaft. God I wish I could touch you now. I'd lick your cock and suck it. Mmm, it tastes so good."

Noah rubbed the outside of his jeans over his erection, but now that he had it was like an itch you couldn't stop scratching. He did it several more times while listening to Luke.

"Faster. Jack that cock faster. Aaah, I can hear your heavy breathing in my ear... it's so sexy, so arousing. My dick is so hard for you right now."

Noah wanted to see that. He peeked around the corner again, seeing Luke with his hand in his open, unzipped jeans. Noah quickly held in his gasp and ducked behind the corner again. _Holy shit! Luke is getting off right there!_ Noah couldn't be more turned on.

"I'm trying, but I have to keep my jeans on. Yes, the head is really wet. No! I'm not tasting it for you." Luke chuckled.

Noah kept rubbing his erection. It sort of hurt because of the friction of his clothes, but he couldn't stop now.

"Are you gonna cum?" Luke said into the phone. "I want you to cum all over yourself. C'mon, thrust your cock into your fist. Mmm, do it." he moaned. "Faster, Faster, FasterFasterFaster. That's it Johnny, god your voice when you cum- you sound so carnal."

Noah heard that it was quiet again because Luke was listening to Johnny's grunts and moans. Noah winced and wished Luke would hurry up. The stickiness in his underwear was uncomfortable.

Luke said in a provocative voice, "See you tomorrow, handsome."

Luke snickered, "Ok, you're welcome. Anytime."

Then Noah heard Luke say, "You can come up now, Noah." after he hung up the phone.

Noah cursed in his head. He held his books low and walked up the few stairs and rounded the corner. "I didn't want to disturb your call." he said quickly and tried to go to his room, but Luke stopped him before he could get there. He looked down, seeing that Luke's jeans were still undone and that Luke's erection was still there. Quickly, he looked up, but Luke had already caught him eyeing his hard on.

Luke asked, "Did you like it?"

"Like what? Your erection?" he whispered loudly.

Luke laughed and shook his head. His right hand fell on Noah's shoulder. "No silly, the phone conversation? Did you like it?" he asked again, gazing down. With his left hand, he reached out and pulled the books away from Noah's groin. A wide smile covered most of Luke's face. When he looked up, he saw that Noah was embarrassed and decided to let him off the hook. "I guess you better go change while I take care of 'something'." He chuckled and walked off.

Noah watched Luke walk away. _He's cocky as hell and confident._ He sighed and walked into his bedroom, closed and locked the door to change in private. When he was done, he sat on the bed and did his homework. He wasn't having trouble in any of his classes and breezed through it. Laying on his back on the bed, he thought, _Luke knew I was standing on the stairs, but at what point did he realize that I was there- near the end of his conversation, at the beginning? What does __it matter anyway, he knows I heard him and he saw my wet spot and knows that I got off. This is really confusing me more and more. He touches my leg any chance he can get- on the bus and at lunch. What __does he want from me?_

Luke was laying on his bed too, but for different purposes. He had removed his clothing and was in the middle of getting himself off. _Johnny sounds so hot and sexy when he's panting in my ear. I LOVE that sound. Noah, that little... Heh, spying on me and listening to my conversation. He even got off! Mmmm This feels so good. Ahhhh—_ He raised his hips and came thinking about Noah getting off.

After a late supper of salad and pasta, the Snyders and one Mayer went to the living room to watch a comedy Lilly had rented from the video/dvd store. Luke and Noah shared the floor so Lilly could curl up next to Holden. During the movie Luke gave Noah several sultry looks with his bedroom eyes and licked his lips suggestively.

Noah smiled and directed his attention back to the tv screen each time. After a while, Noah got fed up by Luke's teasing and tempting behavior and decided to do something about it. Once he caught Luke's attention, he casually let his eyes drop to the blond's crotch. He stared and let out a soft moan meant for Luke's ears only. He opened his mouth and rolled his tongue around his lips, then smacked them together as he lifted his gaze back to Luke's eyes. Luke stared at him wide eyed, even through their parent's laughter at a hilarious scene in the movie. Luke nodded, thinking Noah wanted to give him a blow job, but Noah shook his head because he was just playing; giving Luke a taste of his own medicine. He saw Luke narrow his eyes and mouth the word, 'bitch' at him, then a goofy smile.

Noah rolled his eyes and nodded at the tv. _'Watch'_ he mouthed.

Luke shook his head._ 'Watch you'_ he said and made sure his parents weren't looking when he pointed Noah's groin.

They continued communicating by mouthing words.

Noah frowned and mouthed, _'No'_

'Why'

'I can't'

'Yes'

'No'

'Please'

'No'

'Why'

'Forget it'

'What...? Did you say fuck it?'  


Noah laughed out loud, very loud. Holden and Lilly looked at him and wondered what was so funny; this was a serious part in the movie.

"Sorry." Noah whispered to them, then hit Luke on the leg with his fist. "I said, forget it." he whispered to Luke.

They continued to whisper back and forth. Luke was first.

"Forget what?"

"The question you asked me- you watching me do 'that'."

"No, why should I forget it? I wanna watch you." He grinned and wiggled his brows.

"Just **watch** the movie, bonehead."

"Alright you two." Holden said, rubbing Lilly's arm at the same time. "Since you're talking through the movie and not watching it, and it's after ten, go take your showers and hit the sack. We'll be up to say goodnight later."

Luke had clean briefs and a pair of sleep-shorts in one hand as he walked out of his bedroom, as did Noah when he came out of his room. They reached the bathroom door at the same time.

"Go ahead. I'll wait." Noah offered with a side-nod to the bathroom.

"Why don't we both go in? It's not like we haven't seen each other naked and we're just taking a shower. We'll be in and out like that." Luke snapped his fingers.

"I don't know." Noah answered hesitantly, looking toward the stairs. "What if mom and dad come up and catch us?"

"We took baths together when we were little. I have the pictures to prove it." Luke grinned.

"Yea, but now we're older."

"You're so cautious about everything. Let loose."

"I am not cautious." Noah declared. He'd driven two cars without a license, ran away twice, said what he felt most of the time and had sex with Luke without thinking about saying 'stop'.

"You are, Noah." Luke insisted stubbornly. He knew his brother wasn't cautious; he was teasing Noah by using reverse psychology to get him to take a shower with him.

"Ok, just to shut you up and get me off my back, I'll show you how cautious I am." He dropped the clothes in his hand and undressed right in the hall.

Luke stared like a hungry wolf. Noah rolled his eyes and pushed Luke inside the bathroom. "Get in there!" he laughed. He made sure the door was locked while Luke started the shower. By the time he turned around, Luke was halfway undressed; working on his jeans at the moment. Noah opened the medicine cabinet and took out his toothbrush and toothpaste. He didn't want to watch Luke strip. He didn't want to encourage Luke in any way, shape or form. He brushed, then spit and rinsed and put everything away and noticed that Luke was in the shower already. He pulled the curtain aside and saw Luke with his head back and his eyes closed under the stream of water. His hips were also pushed out and his back was arched. Luke had purposely stood a little too far away from the shower head so he'd **have** to stand like that in order to entice Noah.

Noah stared at the wet body before him while he stepped into the tub. His eyes ran the length of Luke, up and down then up, but only halfway. His eyes stopped on Luke's cock It was shiny from the water and looked heavy just hanging there. He closed his eyes and saw himself get on his knees and hold Luke's hips as his face neared that tasty looking cock.

_"That's right, Noah. Open up, take it in and suck it. Suck it... You're so fucking wonderful, ya know that?"_ He watched Luke pitch his hips at his face, felt his cock swelling in his mouth and throbbing on his tongue and the warm burst of flavor filling his senses and his throat.

"You're thinking something **very** naughty, aren't you?" Luke asked with a smirk, seeing Noah at half mast.

Noah's eyes opened and snapped up to Luke's amused ones. "Nope. Just waiting to get wet." he said, nudging Luke to move out of his way. He faced away from Luke intentionally and soaped up. He felt Luke's finger run up and down his crack, unhurriedly. He heard himself sigh happily, then he heard Luke speak.

"I'm getting out to dry off." Luke kissed his shoulder. "Come to my room after mom and dad check in on us. We can... ya know." he poked Noah's crack with the crown of his cock and snickered to himself. "I'll be waiting."

Noah nodded, barely breathing, and finished rinsing off.

"Later!" Luke called out before he shut the bathroom door.

"Shit." Noah mumbled, cutting off the flow of water. He stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, dried off and got dressed. He went to his room and got under the blankets. Not more than fifteen minutes later did Holden and Lilly come into his room.

Lilly bent down and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight honey. Love you."

"Love you too mom." Noah smiled.

"Goodnight Noah." Holden said standing at the foot of the bed. "See you in the morning.

"'Nite dad. Love you."

"I love you too." Holden smiled. He and Lilly went into Luke's bedroom and said the same thing to Luke, then they headed for bed.

Luke grinned excitedly. While he waited for Noah to come he thought, _He could be waiting to be sure that mom and dad are gone._ Luke turned onto his side and waited... and waited... he fell asleep waiting.

~~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 34

~~~~~~~

_"Wuke, can I play too?" he sat on the wooden edge of the sandbox and watched his brother shoveling sand into the dump truck, while a boy in their class who had come over to play used the other shovel to fill the orange bucket._

"No. There's no more shovels. You can play in the garden with your icky bugs." his brother said without looking at him.

Watching his dream, Noah looked at the brown headed boy, not recognizing him, and heard his five year old self ask, "I can do other stuff. I can get the dinos and we can bury them and dig them up like a scavation." he tried to say the word excavation, but it came out wrong and his brother laughed, then the other boy did. "Stop it!" he yelled, feeling poorly.

"You're silly Nowah." his brother said.

"Yea, he is!" the other boy said. "He has funny clothes."

He saw Luke giggling, then get up. It rose his hopes that they could all play together, but his brother said, "We're playing together, we don't want to play with you, Nowah."

He felt sad in the dream— and as he slept while watching himself be treated like an outcast.

"Wuke," he began to sniffle and reached for him, for a hug, but Luke _pushed him._

_"No Nowah! No."_

"Why can't I play? You said brothers forever. You don't like me, you like him now." he cried.

"I like you. Nowah, I like you." 

He watched the blond boy put his little arm around his shoulders.

"We're brothers forever and ever. I love you Nowah. Don't cry."

Nowah got a hug and teen Noah woke up.

He decided to go Luke's room to talk. He had to for his own peace and well being. He crept down the dark hallway and stood at Luke's door organizing his thoughts. He was ready to confront Luke, but he knew when he walked into the bedroom all this planning and preparation would fly away in different directions and he'd be left wondering why he came to Luke to begin with. Regardless of THOSE thoughts, he entered the room quietly and walked to Luke's big bed. He stared at his brother— a princess as Johnny would say. Luke was beautiful and Noah never thought he'd use that word to describe a boy, but Luke was the definition of beautiful. He wanted to caress his cheek, kiss his tender lips, touch his silky hair.... His heart wanted what his mind couldn't talk him out of wanting.

He carefully peeled the blankets back and slid into the bed. He took a few minutes to breath in his brother. He neared Luke's head and inhaled deeply. "Luke." he whispered near his ear, smelling a hint of ripe peaches.

Luke groaned in his sleep and turned toward Noah. His eyes fluttered before they fully opened, then they widened and he came alive. "What--"

Noah's kiss silenced him.

It didn't stop Luke's question when Noah drew his head a mere two inches away.

Luke asked with a slightly naughty smile, "What are you doing? I waited for you and you didn't come."

"I'm here now. That has to count for something, but I'm not here for the reason you think. I need to talk to you." Noah voiced without humor.

"Ok," Luke gazed at him under seductive thick lashes. "What do you want to talk about? Kissing, touching--"

Noah's lips claimed Luke's, longer this time.

"Damn..." Luke smiled. "If you really want me to shut up you'll stop doing that or I'll keep rambling. I'll talk about anything! Albatrosses, Gobbledygook, Hornswoggling, the definition of Floccinaucinihilipilification---"

That had Noah giggling softly. "Now listen, I'm trying to be serious here."

"Are you kidding me? You are, aren't you?" Luke asked with a sly smile. Beneath the blankets, his hand found and covered Noah's manhood.

Noah met his gaze full on as his hips rose, inviting the touch he wanted since he entered the bedroom and had intensified when he crawled between the sheets and became enveloped in Luke's body heat.

"No, we can't." Noah forced the unwilling words out of his mouth. They almost got stuck in his throat. "I really have to talk to you."

"Well... that sucks. That's just.... shit."

"Shit?"

"Yes, shit. Go ahead, talk, I'll listen."

Noah began, all serious and composed, "This is the shituation--"

Luke burst out laughing, hard.

"Sorry!" Noah let out a short laugh then kept his lips pressed together and his hand clamped over his mouth.

"Did--- Did you say **shit**uation?" Luke tried to talk between his belly laughs.

"It slipped out by accident. C'mon, I'm trying to be serious."

"You can't be if you're gonna keep making up words like shituation!" Luke giggled and covered his head with the blanket.

"Get out of there." Noah said, flustered. Did Luke have A.D.H.D?

Luke's head popped out; his smile was gleaming and crooked- adorably so. His hazel eyes were shimmering with more green than brown and hint of wickedness was shining in them. His smooth skin seemed to glow with desire.

Noah wanted to forget about his intention to talk to Luke and take him in his arms instead. He blinked and then the look on Luke's face was gone. Thank god.

"So talk." Luke suggested.

"First I want to tell you something you already know."

"1+1=2?" Luke teased.

"No dipshit." Noah said in an endearing way and smothered a laugh. "Just listen to me. I love you and I don't expect you to say it back, but I need to tell you that every chance I can, so you don't forget. Another thing is...." he sighed and started again. His voice was cool and calm, "I can't stop thinking about us, when you..." he turned on his back and raked his fingers through his hair. "It's so hard.... and DON"T you dare make that into a sexual innuendo."

Luke smiled and laid his hand on Noah's bare chest, just resting it there. "Go on. I won't say a word." he encouraged.

Noah turned his head, seeing that Luke was taking this to heart. "Ok, it's burned into my mind-- the kissing, the touching, the sex. It's all so good and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm confused."

"'Bout what?" Luke asked, beginning to move his thumb tenderly back and forth on Noah's warm skin.

"About **us** Luke. You're dating Johnny, right?" Noah asked, unsure what was going on with Luke.

"Yes." Luke nodded. "I really like him... everything about him.

Noah let out a discouraging sigh. This confused him even more. "Then why are you fooling around with me? I don't understand any of this."

Luke slid his hand off Noah's body and sighed too. "I really like you too. I'm confused as well."

"So," Noah asked with jealously, "you and he had sex too?"

"Not yet. We've talked about it, but the time never seems right and we don't have alone time. I refuse to go into a backseat of a car." Luke said, feeling ashamed that he mentioned Johnny and sex with him. He was with Noah right now, in his own bed and he was talking about having sex with another boy? He felt his face become hot when it reddened.

"So, it's only a matter of time?" Noah asked in a rough voice.

Luke shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know anything any more. Stop trying to get me mixed up. Let's leave Johnny out of this. You and I are together right now."

Noah was quiet for a long time. "I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"How you can like two people equally and not feel guilty about splitting your time and affection between us both. That's not right, Luke. You have to see that, don't you?" A look of concern crossed Noah's face. Surely Luke had to know he was being unfair to both him and Johnny.

"Of course I do! I HAVE a conscious." Luke said, getting angry. "I don't know what I want, I want you both. I can't choose." Luke covered his eyes and rubbed them. "I'm sorry if I'm screwing with your head. I'm sorry for everything."

"I'm not sorry we've done the things we have- except I do feel sorry for Johnny. Are you going to tell him?"

"NO! I don't want to hurt him." Luke said, then realized that by saying that, Noah could have taken the statement the wrong way-- that Luke didn't mind if he hurt Noah, but he cared if he hurt Johnny. "I don't mean to hurt you either, Noah."

"I know. I think this is my fault too. I know you have a boyfriend, but I let it happen anyway. I should have said no, but I couldn't."

"-Because you love me."

"Yes." Noah whispered. "I better go to bed." He sat up and scratched his head as he looked over his shoulder at Luke. The light spilling in from the window made him look angelic. He smiled and said goodnight.

"G'night." Luke spoke in a soft, sad voice.

Before Noah could get to the door, Luke called him back. "Noah! Come here."

He turned and saw Luke sitting up in bed. "What is it?" he asked, walking back to him.

"I-- I want you."

Noah hung his head and shook it. "I can't. We can't have sex anymore. It's not right and--"

Luke cut him off. "No I want.....I **chose** you."

Noah's head shot up in surprise. "What?" He wanted to smile, but he was sure he heard wrong. Did Luke say he had **chosen** him?

"You heard me."

"Say it again so I can be sure."

"I - Chose - You." Luke smiled shyly.

The smile Noah kept hidden appeared on his face right before he hugged Luke. "You don't know what this means to me! Oh!" He drew back. "How do we tell mom and dad? How do we act in school- everyone is going to think we're perverts. How are you going to tell Johnny?" Noah lowered his arms.

"I didn't think of all that. Maybe this isn't such a good idea." Luke hung his head. "Dammit."

Noah was disheartened, but he commented anyway, "You have a lot of thinking to do. Try to get some sleep. I'll be gone when you get your lazy ass out of bed. I'm helping dad on the farm tomorrow morning."

"Oh." Luke sounded sad.

"What now?"

"I thought you and I could talk before I went to Johnny's. His parents invited me for lunch. I could tell him then." Luke raised his head expecting Noah to agree with him.

"No, that's not very considerate. You'll know when the time is right. Don't rush. I'll always be here- I live here!" Noah forced a chuckle. "Sleep well."

"You too." Luke answered, snuggling into bed again. "Noah?"

"Yea?" Noah turned around after he opened the door.

"Ummm....nothing. Goodnight." Luke frowned because he couldn't say what he wanted to say. He watched Noah close the door and turned on his side. He didn't get much sleep, neither did Noah.

Lilly dropped Luke off at Johnny's home for lunch. He was greeted by Johnny's parents with smiles and a hug from Johnny's mom.

"Come in Luke. It's nice to see you again." Johnny's father said. "Johnny is upstairs in his room. I have to warn you, he's not in a good mood."

Luke frowned and walked through the house. Upstairs, he knocked on the bedroom door while saying, "Johnny, its me."

The door opened and Johnny stood there. Wearing tight jeans and a loose, faded-blue tee shirt. "Hi." Johnny responded to Luke's worried face.

"What's wrong?" Luke asked, eyeing Johnny's slow movements.

"Sit on the bed." Johnny motioned, pointing to the blue bedspread.

"No, I want my hug first." Luke said, leaving no doubt about what he wanted and in a tone that Johnny couldn't say no to.

They embraced, Johnny kissed Luke on the neck, then they separated. "Now sit." He took Luke's hand and led him to the bed, then he sat next to his boyfriend and kept his eyes on the floor.

"Johnny, you're freaking me out." Luke said, caressing his boyfriend's hand.

"I told my parents and my sister and brother that I'm gay."

"And they took it badly?" Luke shifted his hips to face Johnny.

Johnny shook his head, "No, in fact, my parents said they had the idea I was and they were waiting until I felt comfortable telling them. My sister didn't care, but my brother teased me, joked around, all morning about liking guys."

"And this is why you're sad?"

"No, let me finish. I also told them you're my boyfriend." Johnny looked up and stared at Luke's face. "You're so gorgeous, princess." He rose his hand and touched Luke's cheek before he leaned in for a tender kiss.

"It's what happened after that... that...." he hid his face in his hands and began to cry. Luke quickly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and hugged him.

"Shhh- it's alright. They'll get used to us being a couple." Luke knew now that there was no way in hell that he could break up with Johnny because his heart went out to him and the feelings he had for his boyfriend grew.

"No." Johnny sobbed. He showed his face when he circled Luke's waist with his arms. "It's not that. My parents.... th-they got the building-- for their law office."

"That's great!" Luke grinned and kissed Johnny's temple.

"Babe, it's in Georgia!" Johnny wept harder, hiding his face in the crook of Luke's neck. "I don't want to go! I don't want to leave you.

Luke had an expression of shock on his face and nausea in his stomach. Johnny was moving? NO! Luke couldn't breathe, couldn't comprehend how this happened, why it was happening....

Tears streamed down their faces as they held each other, feeling all sorts of emotions regarding Johnny leaving. Their bodies shook sorrowfully, gasps and sobs filled the room. Grasping and clutching at each other they really tried to calm down, but when one looked at the other, feelings of loss made them cry with heart-wrenching sobs.

A long time later, they laid on the bed, still holding each other. Their throats raw and hoarse and their tears had almost dried. Johnny and Luke gazed into each others eyes, blinking back the tears that were on the verge of spilling.

"I'm going to miss you so much that I don't think I'll be able to stand it." Johnny confessed, bringing his hand up, under Luke's shirt, and playing in the soft hair on his boyfriend's chest. "You know, you're my first love."

Luke almost started blubbering again.

"It's true." Johnny said on Luke's lips before he kissed them possessively. They were supple and full and sweet. Luke pulled Johnny closer; wanting to devour his mouth. Succumbing to passion, Johnny climbed atop of Luke. Using his tongue, he was able to slip between Luke's pliant lips. He gently rolled his groin against Luke's; turning passion into excitement and lust.

Luke's kiss became aggressive, his hips bucked up to grind against the hardness feeding his hunger. He felt Johnny reach between their bodies to undo their jeans.

Luke's breath came out fast, "What are we doing?"

"Getting off? Or... do you want to fuck me? I wasn't going to suggest it because it would seem like-- I guess if we did it, then I moved, it would be harder to separate. What do you think?"

Luke nodded in agreement. Johnny stood next to the bed and took his jeans and briefs off. Luke stayed on the bed, lifted his hips and shimmied out of his. Johnny quickly got on the bed and kissed Luke's erection from the base to the tip before running his tongue around the head. Luke pulled him up to kiss him and grasped Johnny's cock. Their fists gracefully moved together; their tongues as well.

Luke and Johnny fell onto the bed once they were cleaned up and dressed. Luke didn't want to bring the subject up right after the emotional connection they'd just shared, but he was curious.

"When is this happening?" he asked softly- perhaps so it didn't sound callous.

Johnny swallowed, taking Luke's hand, and replied, "The moving trucks are coming next week. I'll be gone... go—gone by the weekend." he began to cry again. "Not even a week. I hate my parents! They should have told me sooner!"

"It wouldn't have helped. They actually did us a favor by waiting to tell you. Just think if you knew a few weeks ago. We'd have been miserable this whole time." Luke rose onto his elbow and hovered over Johnny's face.

"I guess you're right. It still stings."

Luke wiped the tears away from the corners of Johnny's eyes and kissed his cheekbone. "I know it does." then his head laid on Johnny's chest, which was rising and falling with each struggle of breath Johnny took.

They chose to stay in Johnny's room instead of eating lunch. They reminisced, kissed and held each other when it all became too much and too real that Johnny was leaving. They stayed there even when they were invited downstairs for supper. Neither one wanted to eat, it would be a waste of time, a waste when they could be consoling each other, hugging and talking.

When it came time for Luke to go, he and Johnny walked to the front door hand in hand. Johnny rested the side of his head on Luke's shoulder, hoping Luke's mother forgot where he lived. He wanted Luke to himself the whole six days before his family left for Georgia.

To their dismay, Lilly pulled into the driveway not more than two minutes later. Luke and Johnny said an emotional goodbye. When Luke got home, he went right to his bedroom, stripped and crawled into bed, ignoring his mom, dad and even Noah, who all tried to get him to come out. The following day proved futile as well. Luke knew Johnny was busy and had to pack the things he didn't need while he was here. His Cd's, Dvd's, novels, shoes, most of his clothes and his personal things.

He stayed in his room watching tv from bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. He steered clear of Noah and when he did see him coming up the stairs he dodged back into his room and slammed the door and locked it.

Noah shook his head. He'd wanted to catch Luke before he ran away. He walked to Luke's bedroom door and tried again to reach him. After he rapped gently, he said, "Luke, can we talk? I want to know what's going on. Please? What's wrong?" he rested the top of his head on the door, waiting for an answer.

Luke heard Noah, but he didn't want to talk or explain because saying that Johnny was moving away would make it real. "Go away, I don't want to talk." His gentle voice came from under the door.

"You can talk to me. I won't tell mom or dad." Noah returned, thinking that Luke had broken up with Johnny. Why else would Luke be this upset?

"I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to anyone." he choked out.

"Ok, ok. Take it easy. Could you let me in so I can be with you? We can watch tv together or play cards or--"

"No. I want to be alone. ALL alone." he rasped.

Noah sighed, feeling helpless and excluded from Luke's life, he murmured, "If there's anything I can do--" then he backed up a step and waited for Luke to retort or to open the door, but nothing happened. Unsettled, he pivoted and went downstairs. He shook his head with discouragement when his parents asked if he'd gotten through to Luke.

~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 35

Luke emerged from his room Monday morning, took a shower, dressed, and ate breakfast in silence while everyone timidly glanced at him trying to gauge his mood. Luke kept his eyes on his plate until his food was gone, then he put his dishes near the sink, gathered his books and went outside to wait for the bus.

"Is there anything that happened this weekend that might have changed him so drastically?" Holden asked.

"He was unusually quiet on the ride from Johnny's." Lilly replied with a guess. "Maybe something happened there?"

"I think that's when it started," Noah added, "but I don't know anything. He won't say a word to me." _I know he had to have split with Johnny. What if Luke thinks it's my fault?That's the only __explanation for his mood. I think I'll try to talk to him again._

Noah put his things away and went outside to stand on the sidewalk next to Luke. He watched his brother playing with the large ring on his finger and said, "Hey."

Luke answered with a stubborn grunt. He didn't look up, but continued to twist his ring.

Noah studied Luke's face while speaking gently, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Luke's voice was almost a whisper.

Noah saw that Luke was biting his lip. "For last weekend. For what happened between you and Johnny." He reached for Luke.

"Hey! Luke and Noah!" Alan ran to his friends and stopped in front of them.

"You have nothing to do with last weekend." Luke told Noah, then greeted Alan in the same monotone and uninterested voice as he'd spoke to Noah. "Hi Alan."

Noah wondered what DID happen last weekend. Did Johnny break up with Luke? Now he was more than curious. He wanted to talk to Luke alone, if he'd even talk, and find out why Luke was so depressed.

"Hi Noah." Alan grinned. "How was your weekend?"

"Um," Noah looked from Luke to Alan. "It was... different."

"Want to go into more detail?" Alan looked at Luke. "Do you have anything to add?"

"Nope." Luke replied and turned to the side, disengaging himself from them.

Alan raised his eyebrows in question looking at Noah. Noah shrugged with a worried look in his eye.

"Hello boys..." Bailey sashayed to Alan, eyeing Luke and Noah. She sensed something wasn't right. "What's up?"

Noah gave her a slight smile, then looked at Luke and shrugged. Bailey walked to Luke, put her arm around him, and air kissed his cheek. "Tell me why you look like someone died."

"No." Luke said, stepping away from her. "I love you as a friend, but I don't want to tell you. Any of you."

"Bus." Noah said. Alan looked up and held his hand out to Bailey.

Noah's mood reflected the way Luke treated him, he was quiet and felt ignored. Luke had been spending more time with Johnny all week. Before school they met on the side of the building, between classes they made out at the locker, during lunch they disappeared, after school, either Luke would go to Johnny's house or Johnny would come to their house. Noah was tired of being neglected. Hadn't Luke said he'd 'chosen' him? Was that just talk to get him into Luke's bed again? He felt miserable, just as miserable as Luke looked when he wasn't with Johnny.

Thursday night before supper, Luke and Johnny were in Luke's bedroom and Noah was downstairs, imagining what the two were doing upstairs. Johnny and Luke were closer than ever- hardly out of each others sight. He knew Luke chose Johnny over him after all and he wondered if they went all the way yet. He leaned forward and pressed the heels of his hands onto his eyes while he seriously considered calling Andy for a date- a real one this time.

"Dinner is ready Noah. Would you go up and get your brother and Johnny please?" Lilly asked from just inside the room, then left.

Noah slowly rose from the couch and walked up the stairs with his head down. He reached Luke's door, but before he knocked, he heard heavy breathing. Noah rolled his eyes as his heart broke in his chest. He lifted his hand to knock, then heard Luke say warily—

"I don't know Johnny. It doesn't seem right."

"Come on princess," Johnny insisted. "You know it is."

"But—"

"We HAVE to!"

Noah heard Luke crying.

"I don't want to!" Luke said between sobs. "Please? Don't do this! I don't want to!"

Was Johnny forcing Luke to have sex with him? It sure sounded like it to Noah. He burst into the room and glared at Johnny, then his eyes softened when he saw that they both had tears on their cheeks and they were sitting on the bed, fully clothed, in each others arms.

"What do you want?" Luke said, annoyed that Noah hadn't knocked and had come into his room with a look of distaste for Johnny.

"Ummm— dinner is ready. You're supposed to come down." Noah said embarrassed while backing out of the room. "Sorry." he added and left.

Downstairs, he helped Lilly set the table while Holden brought food to it, setting the hot bowls on trivets. They sat and waited for Luke and Johnny, who came down looking red-eyed. They took seats next to each other and held hands under the table. They were silent as the conversation between Lilly and Holden flowed. Noah was quiet, but spoke when spoken to. He kept his eyes on Luke, wondering what they had been talking about and why they had been crying. After eating blueberry pie with homemade whipped cream, everyone found out.

Luke set his fork on his plate, wiped his mouth and took a sip of ice water. He cleared his throat and brought Johnny's hand up, entwined with his, and rested them on the table. He glanced at Johnny and seemed to share an unspoken conversation. Johnny nodded with a huge sigh and hung his head. Luke turned to his family with glassy, tear-filled eyes. "Everyone, uh, I have something to say. Actually, Johnny and I have something to say."

Lilly and Holden listened raptly. Noah feared the worst. Were they announcing they were running away? Getting married? Noah's imagination ran away with utterly ridiculous thoughts.

Luke gulped a sob and tried to talk. He was having a very hard time and squeezed his eyes closed tightly, so Johnny spoke up. He lifted his head and directed his statement to Lilly, Holden and Noah. "My family...." he paused to compose himself and wipe his eyes with a cloth napkin before he began again. "My family is moving to Atlanta, Georgia. I leave tomorrow morning." Then his shoulders began to shake. He rose out of his chair and ran out the front door, crying.

Luke worriedly watched him go. He looked at his parents who were stunned. "Go." Holden said in a sad low tone. Luke nodded and left his chair. He went out the front door to find Johnny sitting on the bench. He sat next to him and they both fell into a strong, needy embrace and wept.

Inside, Noah was glued to his chair. His heart went out to Luke and Johnny and now he felt like an asshole for bursting into Luke's bedroom because he thought Johnny was pressuring Luke to have sex. He also felt like a heel for worrying about himself and how Luke was treating him for the past week. Of course Luke was going to spend as much time with Johnny as he could— he was leaving! Noah shook his head, disappointed in himself.

"Something wrong?" Holden asked.

"Yes. I acted like a jerk all week because I thought Luke was spending too much time with Johnny and ignoring me. Now I know why. I should have been there for him, supported him. He must think I'm a terrible person." Noah said. He couldn't meet Holden's eyes because he felt so ashamed of himself for wanting a piece of Luke's time.

"I doubt that Noah." Holden smiled. "He's been hiding this from us. He can't expect us not to react and want to get closer to him when he's been so distant and sad— especially when we don't know what's going on with him. Your mother and I were affected, but I think you were most affected because you're so close to him— he's your brother and suddenly he's avoiding you and had stopped confiding in you. Anyone would feel rejected."

"But now that I know why, I feel really awful... selfish." Noah admitted with guilt.

Holden stood up and put his hand on Noah's shoulder. Lilly spoke up, "I think we all feel like that." She looked at Holden and received a nod; he felt that way too. "We couldn't predict or know what Luke was going though. All we could do was speculate. None of us had a clue as to what he was going through. He didn't share with us and that was his choice."

"I agree. If he had come to us—" The front door opened, interrupting Holden. Lilly and Noah stood up expecting Luke and Johnny to come back to the table, but Luke walked in alone with a bag and went right to his mother. He dropped the bag on the floor, then hung onto her and let his emotions go. He needed her now.

Noah and Holden felt useless. "Luke, if you want to talk, I'll be in the home office." he said gently and rubbed Luke's back before he left.

"I'll be... uh," Noah looked around. "in my bedroom or watching tv if you need anything." He waited for a response from Luke, but there was none. Lilly was holding him with tears in her eyes for the pain Luke was feeling. It was pretty much the same scenario when Luke was five and Noah had disappeared.

Noah shrugged and glanced at Luke, but his eyes were closed. He walked to the living room and chose to keep the light off as he turned on the tv.

Luke's hoarse voice was soft. "He left mom. He went home. I won't ever see him again."

"I know honey. I'm sorry." Lilly sympathized.

"He's not going to be at school tomorrow. He's leaving." he said with a sob.

Lilly let Luke talk without giving advice-- what could she really say?

Luke's body shook. "We broke up before supper. I didn't want to. He convinced me it was better that we did."

Lilly's hand stroked the hair on the back of Luke's head as he continued to speak.

"I feel... like crap!" Luke said louder.

"You will for a while. You'll miss him. He was very important to you, a friend as well as a boyfriend. Think of the time you had together. You're both better for having known each other. Don't you think?"

"I guess." Luke pulled away and stared at the floor as he thought about what his mother said. "You're right."

"There will be other boys and one day, you'll fall in love." Lilly smiled at him. Her words lifted his eyes to look at her face.

"I am in love." he stated with an unwavering voice, declaring his feelings for **Noah**.

"Oh." Lilly said in shock. Did Luke know what love was at sixteen? She doubted it, but she couldn't refute him if that's the way he thought he felt.

Luke sighed. "I suppose Johnny and I breaking up would have happened eventually, even if he stayed." He knew that as a fact.

Lilly had no idea what her son was talking about. He'd just stated he loved Johnny, but that they would break up? 'Teens' she thought with a small smile. "Why don't you take a nice, long relaxing bath. You'll feel better."

"Maybe later. I'm going to talk to Noah. I owe him an apology for the way I've been treating him. Alan and Bailey too. I've been brushing them off all week."

The phone's first ring was ear-splitting, as if warning the Snyder's and a Mayer that something was wrong. Luke took his cue. He picked up his bag and went to seek out Noah.

Lilly walked into the home office where Holden was on the phone, his face stunned and his mouth working to talk, but nothing was coming out. Frantically, he motioned to Lilly to come to the desk, then put on the speaker phone.

~~~~~~

Luke plopped on the couch next to Noah, resting his head against his shoulder. "Hold me?" he asked and set the bag on the couch.

Noah put his arm around Luke's shoulders and brought him closer. Luke closed his eyes and felt safe and comforted in Noah's presence. He sighed contentedly and breathed in the scent of Noah.

"Luke, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I had no idea he was moving. I took your behavior personally and thought you—"

"It's ok." Luke said in a whisper. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I didn't want the pity or the empathetic looks and words of wisdom. I wanted to deal with it on my own."

"That's brave and stupid at the same time."

Luke's body pitched away from Noah's. "Why?" he asked with a frown.

"We're brothers and we're supposed to lean on each other, rely on one another when one is having problems or going through a tough time.... right? Is that right, Luke? Families help each other. The Stewarts' weren't reliable, but Lee's parents always were there for him, sometimes me too."

"Yes, that's how it works, but.... oh I don't know." Luke stared at his lap, his hands nervously rubbing his jean covered thighs. "I wanted to do it alone. I didn't want any outside influence."

"I get that." Noah ceded with a nod. "What's in the bag?"

Luke turned his head, looking at the bag and reached for it. He opened it and handed the contents to Noah.

Noah held up the jersey that Johnny wore when he was a football player.

"He said he slept in it all week. It smells like him." Luke said, looking at the blue and white, number 14 jersey.

Noah folded it up and handed it up. "That's really nice of him."

"Yea." Luke said dejectedly and put the jersey back into the bag. "I didn't give him anything. Just a kiss goodbye."

"That's something." Noah drew Luke close again. When Luke laid his head on Noah's chest, he kissed the top of Luke's head. "I'll be here for you, forever. I'm not going anywhere, you know that, and I haven't said it in a while, but I still love you."

Luke sat up and took Noah's hands in his own. "Noah, I-"

"Boys?" Holden said with very little self-control while he walked into the room with Lilly. He continued in a deeply troubled voice, "We just received a phone call."

Lilly turned on the lamp so the boys weren't in shadow. She looked anxiously at Holden, then at the boys.

"What is it? Who was it?" Luke asked his mom and dad. Noah looked from Lilly to Holden as well.

"It was Margo. Noah, your biological father has been in touch with a lawyer. He's out of jail and has agreed to wear an ankle bracelet and be home-bound in a halfway house for newly released criminals for a while."

Noah frowned. "He deserves to be--"

Holden held up his hand so Noah would be quiet. "Noah, there's more."

"More? Like what?" Luke asked frightened while looking at his dad.

Lilly spoke in a gentle tone to Noah, "He wants to meet you, honey. He wants to spend time with you and get to know you."

"NO!" Luke stood up. "That is NOT going to happen! Noah can't leave! He belongs with us. His dad is a murderer and a no-good sonuvabitch!"

"Luke!" Holden said sharply in response to his son's language. "We can't do anything. It's up to Noah and his father."

Everyone turned to look at Noah, who answered, "I don't want to see him."

"You might have to." Lilly said sadly.

Holden agreed. "He's your father and has the right to see you by law. I don't know how any of this works, but I'll call our lawyer first thing in the morning to see if there's anything we can do."

Noah was speechless. When Holden and Lilly left the room, Luke stared at Noah. He whispered, "You can't go. Don't go.... Please stay here with us, with me." He raised his brows, pleadingly. "Noah?"

~~~~~~~

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 36

~~~~~~~

After the shocking news that Winston Mayer wanted to see his only son, Noah announced that he was going to take a shower and go to bed. Luke and his parents were gathered in the living room talking.

"He can't go!" Luke stated feeling paranoia sink in. He stood up and said even louder. "You have to tell that lawyer he can't see Noah! You have to do something, if he leaves he may never come back. You can't let him go! I love him!" _First Johnny, now Noah? I can't lose him. I have to protect him. I couldn't when I was younger, but I can now! But how?_

"We love him too." Lilly said, thinking she understood what Luke had admitted out loud- that he loved his **brother**. "Your father and I don't want him to leave either."

"That's right, but we don't know our options yet. Like I said, I want to talk to Mr. Hughes. We'll fight for him Luke, don't worry about that." Holden exclaimed. Now he was getting angry with the adoption system. If they could have adopted Noah like they had wanted, none of this would be happening and Luke wouldn't be so upset.

"Honey," Lilly began. "Do you want us to call Dr. Martin, your psychiatrist? He can be over with just a phone call."

"No! I don't need some quack to put me out for the night! Can't I have any feelings of anger or outrage? Isn't it normal? I'm not a little kid who has nightmares about his brother disappearing anymore! God!" Luke gave his parents a crazed look before he went upstairs. He was going to go to his room, but decided to check on Noah first. The bathroom door was open, meaning that Noah had already taken his shower. He walked to Noah's bedroom door and heard crying. His heart lurched at the sound and he forgot all about his own concerns and feelings for the time being. He knocked softly on the door.

"Noah? Can I come in?" Luke asked with his forehead resting on the door. He heard Noah stop crying.

"Yea." Noah's voice was barely heard, but Luke had listened closely and heard him. He opened the door and stepped into the dimly lit room, seeing Noah face down on the bed. He went to his brother and sat next to him.

"What a night huh?" Luke said in a forlorn manner.

"Sorry. I know I shouldn't be feeling so concerned about myself. You're going through a lot too. Losing your boyfriend must really be terrible. I couldn't imagine what you're going through. _Yes I can! I don't want to live with my dad and lose you! I don't want to be __without you for a day of my life. We've already been apart for too long! Luke... I wish I could tell you what I'm thinking, but you're grieving for Johnny. That's right! You're grieving for him— you need comfort, NOT me!_

"Come here, bro." Noah said sympathetically after he sat up and held his arms out. "If you want to talk about Johnny or how you're feeling, I'm here for you."

"I know you are, thanks. It's just losing him and the possibility of you too... it's a nightmare, but Noah....." Luke looked into Noah's eyes. "I think losing you would hurt more." Luke admitted shyly. Was confiding the truth fair to Noah? He didn't know. He had so much to say to him, but if Noah was leaving for good, then he decided he shouldn't say another word. It would be that much harder to say goodbye if he told Noah he loved him, truly loved him.

"I don't want to talk about that scenario right now. Dad will get things straightened out with the lawyer, hopefully." Noah had a look on his face that was doubtful and Luke saw it.

Noah was thinking hard about his past and present. _Nothing ever comes easy to me. I have had to struggle and fight my whole life. I have to confront Winston Mayer and tell him I want nothing to do with him. He had nothing to do with me for fourteen years and NOW he wants to get acquainted? I wonder why? UH OH! What if he wants to take me and blackmail my family for ransom?_

"LUKE! What if Winston kidnaps me and wants our parent's money for my safe return?" Noah said, grasping Luke by the shoulders and shaking him.

Luke's face showed how surprised he was. "Shit! I didn't think of that!"

"He only wants to see me so he can take me somewhere and demand ransom! He has no interest in me! Why would he start now? It all makes sense!" Noah got off the bed and tried not to pace, tried not to panic and tried not to look at Luke.

"What do we do?" Luke asked, standing up, panicking, pacing and staring at Noah.

"I'm not sure, but somehow, I have to figure out a plan. I can't let him do anything to my family." Noah had to be the calm and rational one. He'd dealt with hardships. He could deal with this as well. He had to.

"I think I know what we can do, but you have to trust me." Luke said rapidly and stopped pacing to stand in front of Noah. "Do you? Do you completely trust me?"

"Tell me first." Noah asked, looking into Luke's frenzied eyes.

"No."

"Ok, fine. I trust you." Noah said, giving in. He knew Luke and felt that he wasn't going to budge on this.

"Good. Let me think... I have to plan this out in my head first." Luke began pacing, nodding, shaking his head, talking to himself and using his hands as he talked. If Noah wasn't in such a serious mood, he may have chuckled at the scene before him.

Noah watched and watched. He yawned and rubbed his eyes while Luke seemed to argue with himself aloud, "No, I need to do this, but if I do, then I should do that."

Noah relaxed on his bed and closed his eyes. He was sure he'd drifted off because his eyes flew open when Luke had jumped on him, straddling his legs. Luke shook Noah's arms.

"I have it! The perfect idea, the perfect plan!" he said excitedly, then put his hand over Noah's mouth when Noah was going to speak and said, "But I can't tell you." He removed his hand so Noah could talk.

"Ok." Noah shrugged. "It's in your hands then."

"Oh you bet it is!" Luke grinned, extremely happy that he'd found a solution. He was so ecstatic that he kissed Noah on the lips, drew back and did it again-- raining kisses on Noah's face. His arms wrapped around Noah's neck while Noah's circled Luke's waist.

Noah accepted the kisses on his skin and said with his eyes closed, "I want to taste your lips." Luke's lips slowly descended on Noah's, sensually heating areas of their bodies and igniting pleasure. All too soon, they heard their parents talking in the hall. Luke quickly flung his leg over both of Noah's and sat next to him.

Lilly knocked once before opening the door. "Boys, it's after ten and you have school tomorrow." She kissed Noah's cheek and motioned for Luke to get off Noah's bed, then kissed him too. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Luke and Noah." Holden smiled at them both. "Luke, hope you're feeling better."

"I am, thanks to Noah." Luke said, still sad about Johnny moving away, but he knew Johnny would be safe, he couldn't say the same thing about Noah. Right now, his brother was his main concern.

"I'm happy to hear that." Holden said, wrapping an arm around his wife. "We'll see you both in the morning. Sleep tight."

"I'm just going to tell Noah one more thing, then I promise I'll go right to bed." Luke stated.

"Alright honey. Love you both." Lilly said and left the room with her husband.

"Noah," Luke said sitting on the edge of the bed. "Go to sleep, but later, I'm going to wake you up. Don't ask questions... you'll just have to trust me."

"Ok." Noah said agreeably, but he was a little worried. What did Luke have in mind? What had he planned?

"Cool." Luke smiled, looked toward the door, then back at Noah. He quickly pecked him on the lips and stood up. "See you soon." he said, backing out of the room. "Sleep."

Noah nodded. Did Luke really expect him to get a wink of sleep? Surprisingly, he did fall asleep not much later.

Luke couldn't sleep. He had this all planned out and he didn't want anything to get in his way. When he was sure it was after midnight, he dressed and crept out into the hall to make a phone call. After he hung up, he went back to his room and found his old duffel bag on a shelf in his closet. He packed some clothes and a few other things, then he silently went down the servants stairs to the kitchen and packed a variety of food and grabbed a white garbage bag. He left his full duffel bag by the side door and went back upstairs using the other staircase, forgetting about the squeaky stair. He stepped on it and held his breath and held stock still for several seconds. He didn't hear any fumbling around from his parents or voices, so he continued up. He entered Noah's room, but before he woke him, he took the garbage bag and filled it with some of Noah's clothing. He knotted the drawstring and put it by the bedroom door, then he shook Noah awake.

Luke and Noah had waited outside with their bags for the cab. Now they were on their way north. Noah wondered if they were running away. How would they live? Where would they live? It seemed like hours passed before Luke spoke to him.

"You good?"

"Yea, I have a lot of questions though." Noah yawned.

Luke covered his own mouth with a finger and shook his head, telling Noah silently not to bring up anything. "They're expecting us. I know it's late and they'll be asleep, but mom and dad really want us to come up a day early. Dad said he'd call the school and ok it with them in the morning."

Noah drew his brows together. Was this the same Luke he'd spoken to earlier? Is this why he had a psychiatrist? Was he insane? Luke nudged him and winked. THEN Noah got it! _Ok, so he's sane and __trying to fool the cab driver, but I don't think the driver cares either way._ He thought, watching the driver sing along to Spanish song on a cd he had in the player. Did he even speak English? He had to because he understood the address Luke gave him when they got in the cab, but he hadn't spoken a word, just shook his head.

Noah rested his head against the pane of glass and his arm on the armrest of the passenger door. He closed his eyes for a moment before he felt Luke's hand take his and hold it tightly. He smiled sleepily and dozed off.

"Noah. Noah? Noah wake up." Luke said in his ear.

Noah felt stiff all over from sleeping sitting up. He noticed that the cab had stopped and the driver was turned around, looking at them.

"Mmm, sorry." he said to Luke and reached down for his garbage bag of clothes.

"It's ok." Luke said, handing the driver some of the money out of his wallet. "Lets go." He picked up his duffel bag and opened the car door.

"Where are we?" Noah asked, looking around in the glow of the moonlight after the cab left.

"Come with me." Luke said, taking Noah's hand and leading him down a gravel driveway to the door of a cabin. "It's our mom and dad's home away from home. I snatched the key before we left." He turned it in the lock, opened the door, felt the wall to turn on the lights, then motioned for Noah to go in first.

"Whoa!" Noah said in awe. "This place is cool!"

"It is nice." Luke agreed, seeing it through Noah's eyes. "Have a look around if you want. I have to get some shut eye. I couldn't sleep at home or on the way here." He yawned loudly and widely, proving his point.

"Ok. I'm just going to check out the rooms and pick a bedroom." Noah said hefting his bag over his shoulder. "How long are we planning on staying here?"

"I don't know." Luke said, turning away from the front door after he locked it. "I guess as long as we can and until Winston stops hounding our mom and dad about seeing you. I can call them tomorrow from the small town that's about two miles away and tell them we're safe— without telling them where we are."

Noah nodded. "I wouldn't want them to worry that we got kidnapped or something."

"Me either." Luke commented before heading to his own bedroom. He undressed while Noah checked out the kitchen, bathroom and other bedrooms. He walked into Luke's room and put his bag down.

"Could we share?" he asked, feeling a little tense now that things were sinking in. They had run away from the loving home he had longed for, for so long.

Peeling back the blankets, Luke invited him in. "Strip and get in." He kept his eyes of Noah so he could undress without someone ogling him.

Noah turned off the light and walked back to the bed in his boxer briefs. He sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating his position. Should he have gone into a room by himself?

"Lay down." Luke said, patting the bed.

"Wait, are you sure? You don't have to say yes to appease me."

"I know. Trust me, if I wanted to be alone I would have said no. I want you here. C'mon." Luke said encouraging Noah to get into bed.

Noah swung his legs up and laid his head on the pillow, covering his bare chest with the blanket as he did. There was room between him and Luke for another person- the bed was that big and they were that far apart. Neither one of them sought out the other, but instead, went to sleep.

Luke woke first. He had tossed and turned and slept very little. He turned around, laid on his side and faced Noah, who was asleep and laying on his back. He watched Noah breathe, then his eyes for movement. Luke's lips parted slowly as he exhaled softly- as if the gentle shift of air hitting Noah's cheek would wake him.

_We did it. We got out of there and Noah is safe with me. His dad won't take him away from me or our parents. He belongs with us. I don't want to lose him..... shit.... Johnny's on his way to Atlanta __now.... he left Oakdale._ The memory reminded him of all the times he spent with Johnny. The tender moments, the funny times, the stupid arguments, the make ups, the kisses and touches. Luke quietly sobbed, turning away from Noah to cry without waking him up. He thought he was being quiet, but he wasn't aware that he was shaking the bed or that his soft gasps weren't so soft or quiet. He felt a warm hand on his arm. That same arm turned him over. Noah's smooth voice asked, "Luke? Is there anything I can do?"

Luke burrowed into Noah's chest. "No." his voice was muffled, but Noah heard him loud and clear and stayed quiet. He knew Luke must be feeling the weight of what he'd done by running away and also, because it was now Friday and Johnny would be leaving the state- if he hadn't already. Luke was distraught and stressed out. He did the only thing he knew to do- hold Luke until he was told to stop or he was pushed away. They laid in bed for a long time until the need to use the bathroom and grumbling, rumbling stomachs begged for food. Noah let Luke go first and dressed while he waited. He wanted to ask Luke if he wanted to talk about it, but he also remembered Luke saying he'd rather deal with things by himself. He also knew that wasn't a good way to handle life, but he couldn't come out and tell Luke that right now, not while he was grieving.

"Your turn." Luke walked into the bedroom, glancing at Noah. He picked up the jeans he'd worn last night and put them on.

Noah had seen dark circles underneath Luke's cheerless, reddened eyes. He gave him an apologetic look, and went across the hall to the bathroom. When he came out, Luke was in the kitchen rummaging through cupboards and the duffel bag he'd filled with his clothes and food. He looked up when Noah entered. His face hadn't changed expression when he met Noah's eyes.

"Hi." Noah said apprehensively. Would Luke talk or be in a depressed mood all day? He understood if he was going to be crying and sad, but he'd much rather have Luke happy and talking.

"Hi." Luke replied looking down at the smashed loaf of bread. He opened the peanut butter and grape jam. "Is this ok for breakfast?"

"Sure." Noah nodded with a cringe, that thankfully, Luke hadn't seen. He really didn't like the sandwich because Connie Stewart always fed him that for lunch- every single day as far back as he could remember. "Want help? I'm a pro at spreading peanut butter." he teased, picking up a butter knife.

"Be my guest." Luke replied, still in a fragile state of mind. His movements were slow and deliberate, handing Noah four pieces of bread. He watched Noah making the sandwiches, but he was seeing Johnny's face and how sad he looked before he left last night. Luke lost his appetite and left the kitchen.

Noah put the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on twin plates and walked into the living room with them. He saw Luke slouched down on the couch with his arms crossed on his chest. He sat next to Luke after he set the plates on the low table in front of them. He turned his body to Luke and put his arm across the back of the couch.

"I know you probably don't feel like talking, so let me." Luke didn't react, so he continued in a delicate manner, watching every word he said. "The way you're feeling is completely normal. I liked Johnny too and I could see how happy he made you, aside from the little fights you had, but that just showed how much you liked each other. I know he was falling for you hard. I could see it each time he looked at you, Luke. I was jealous and I had no right to be because you and he were good together. I can understand how you miss him. I miss Lee, but I didn't have 'that' kind of relationship with my best friend."

Noah watched slow, lazy tears roll down Luke's cheeks. He wanted to take Luke in his arms, but he also wanted to give Luke space. Luke was rubbing one eye with his balled up fist while he kept the other arm wound tightly around himself.

Luke replied in a small voice, "Thanks Noah."

Noah's arm slowly fell off the back of the couch to rest on Luke's shoulders. In turn, Luke faced Noah and hugged him, letting Noah comfort him.

It wasn't much later that Luke had fallen asleep on Noah's chest. Noah's arms were getting weaker from holding Luke in place, so he eased him onto his lap and breathed easy when Luke hadn't woke up. Noah looked at the uneaten, untouched sandwiches and thought that he definitely would eat one, he was that hungry. He leaned over Luke and grabbed the plate closest to him and took a bite of the peanut butter and jelly mess he'd put between two slices of bread. The taste brought memories of him eating at the table in the trailer with Connie. To combat the unwelcome images, he looked around the room.

The cabin was nicely decorated, not fancy, but with good taste and could be considered a second home and not a cabin. Noah thought a cabin was merely a 'shack'. This was just as beautiful as the Snyder home. He squinted at a picture on the wall of two boys around the age of three with fishing poles in their hands- a fish on each hook. A pail was at their feet and they were smiling.

_That's Luke! The little blond one with that goofy smile- and that must be me next to him. I must have fallen in the lake! I'm all wet! Ha Ha! __What a cute picture._

Luke moaned and slowly opened his eyes to find himself facing Noah's crotch. He quickly sat up and saw the look of amusement on Noah's face.

"Have a good nap?"

Luke nodded. "Yes. I needed it. Thanks for the use of your lap."

"It's always here for you when I sit down." Noah smiled, hoping he'd see a matching one on Luke's face. He received a little smirk. It was better than nothing.

"What time is it?"

Noah looked around and shrugged. "I don't know."

"There's a clock in the kitchen." he said, rising from the couch. Noah stood up too, stretching his back and legs.

"Shit!" Luke came back into the room. "I can't make it to town and back before it gets dark. I guess I have to wait for tomorrow." He scratched the back of his neck, looking at Noah.

"What?" Noah asked, unable to read his face.

"Nothing."

"Ok." Noah sat back down. If Luke didn't want to talk, he couldn't pressure him. "What do you want to do?"

"What do you want to do?" Luke asked back.

"We could swim. I suppose you didn't pack trunks for us though. We could take a walk."

"That sounds good." Luke said taking his sandwich with him to eat while they hiked in the woods.

Earlier in the day at the Snyder home....

Lilly had kissed Holden goodbye. He had an appointment with their lawyer, Mr. Hughes, this morning. Lilly chose to stay behind to get the boys up, fed and off to school. She went upstairs to see if they had risen when their alarms went off because Luke was notorious for pressing the 'snooze' button several times before he got up. She knocked on Luke's door first. She put her ear to the door and heard no sounds of movement or activity. Opening the door, she said sternly, "Luke Snyder get— Luke?"

Lilly ran to the bed when she saw Luke wasn't laying in it. "The shower, he has to be in the shower already." She bolted down one door, seeing the door open and empty of life. She let out a sob and ran to Noah's room. It was empty as well. She covered her mouth and somehow made it to the phone in the hall.

"Jack! The boys— the boys are gone! I can't find them anywhere. They're not here!" She screamed into the phone.

"I'll be right there!" Jack replied in that cop tone, confident and serious, but inside he was falling apart and fearful.

****

**Memories of Luke****  
Chapter- 37 ******

****

Lilly and Holden were unable to sit in the kitchen because sitting was a show of a relaxed state and they were anything but that. They held each other while Jack searched the bedrooms for signs of a struggle and to check the windows for a break in. He checked all the doors downstairs and came up with nothing. He divided his officers into two groups. One would canvas the area to look for the boys and the other group would ask around town if anyone had seen them. He also had Lilly call Lucinda since she was a prominent figure in Oakdale. He figured she could go on WOAK and plead for Luke and Noah to come home or for a safe return if someone had taken them. They all knew she could influence her grandson to come home. Luke wouldn't disobey her. It was just too bad that Luke and Noah missed the broadcast because they were in the woods walking and talking.

"I know I already asked," Noah said, walking behind Luke, "but how long do you think we'll be here?"

"A few days at least. I want Winston to get in contact with someone that will tell him you ran away and don't want to see him. I want him to give up hope of ever seeing you. OH MY GOD!" Luke yelled, turning around, "I know what we can do if he doesn't give up on you!" He beamed, thinking he had the answer to all their problems dealing with **Noah's biological father.**

**Noah smirked with a glint in his eyes for Luke. "What is it? Get married for real so I belong to you?" he teased.**

Luke patted Noah's chest. "Hey, that's not a bad idea, but no. Hear me out. Winston doesn't know you or what you look like. Right?"

"Right, so what?" Noah wondered where Luke was going.

"So... **I**** go as you!" Now Luke patted Noah's cheek. "I'm not afraid of him. Besides, I owe you."**

"I don't think that's such a good idea. He could still ask for ransom and anyway, you don't owe me squat." A notion came to Noah. "If this is about my kidnapping and you feel responsible for it, don't. It wasn't your fault. Get that through your skull." He knocked on Luke's head.

"I can take care of myself with Winston. I want to do it." Luke stated adamantly. "Don't you see? I want to protect you the way I couldn't when we were little. It's something I feel I have to do. I need to do this for you."

Noah rolled his head back and looked at the sky. How could he get through to Luke? His brother was so damn stubborn! Another idea popped into his head. "How about..." he hesitated and looked at Luke. "you owe me in a different way?"

"Like what?" Luke asked with one narrowed, suspicious eye. What was Noah going to suggest? A BJ in the woods? He gulped nervously, yet turned on by the prospect of tasting Noah again.  
****

"Well, you can make me breakfast every day while we're here." Noah **told him, trying to suppress a smile.**

"That's stupid." Luke replied, a little disappointed.

"Anything but peanut butter and jelly."

"No, it has to be something big, huge." Luke spread his arms out. "I mean, you WERE gone for eleven years. Breakfast isn't going to cut it."

"Breakfast, lunch **and**** dinner?"**

"No." Luke shook his head while he tried to think of something. "Let's keep walking, it may come to me."

As night was falling, they continued to walk single file along the path in the woods that would eventually circle back to the cabin.

****

"Is there any place you can think of that they would go?" Jack asked Holden.

"I don't know. I'm trying to wrack my brain. Oh, Luke's boyfriend was leaving today- maybe they went to his house to say goodbye?" Holden guessed, but he didn't have that 'feeling' that told him that's where the boys went.

**  
"I'll send a car there. Anywhere else?"**

**  
Holden shook his head. "Not off the top of my head."**

Exhausted, Lilly finally sat on the couch, resting her tired feet. She tried to ease her mind to be able to think.

****

"We better head back." Noah suggested, since it was getting hard to see now that the sun was quickly sinking in the west.

"Ok. You lead this time." Luke said. They turned around and walked in the direction of the cabin. Luke followed Noah closely, often accidentally stepping on the back of his shoe causing him to quicken his step and grumble about Luke getting his heel.

"Sorry." Luke replied each time. He could smell Noah. Neither one of them had put deodorant on because Luke forgot to pack it. Noah smelled good, manly, and the scent was sexually arousing. Luke remembered how Johnny smelled, sometimes like cologne and sometimes like Noah did now. Sweat and man. With the thought of his ex-boyfriend, he became quiet. He and Johnny did like each other a lot and they had a great time while they were together. He looked at Noah's back or what he could see of it in the dark, and was happy he had Noah. He was also relieved that he and Noah experienced losing their virginity together; foster brothers or not. He reached forward blindly and grabbed one of Noah's swinging hands when it hit his and held it.

Noah smiled and continued to walk, pulling Luke along. "You alright?"

**  
"Mm-Hm." Luke hummed and squeezed Noah's fingers. "Just thinking."  
******

"'Bout what?" he asked. Curiosity nagged at him.

"Us... you."

Noah blushed in the dark. "What about us.... and me?" He hoped to hear a positive reply.

"Just that," Luke's voice was lower, deeper. "I'm glad I have you."

"That's all?" Noah slowed his step and turned around. He raised his free hand to lay his hand on Luke's shoulder.

"No, not quite. I was thinking about when we 'did it'. It was awesome and I'm glad my first time was with you. Do you think about it at all?"

"Hell yes. I told you, I love you. What we did was really intimate for me. I had so many feelings all at once for you. Being with you made me love you even more." Noah admitted in a soft voice because he was telling the truth and talking to Luke like this just seemed right.

"Oh Noah." Luke whispered amongst the trees and quiet birds. He flung his arms around him and kissed his cheek. He sighed and murmured, "I love you too."

"Like a foster brother?" Noah squeaked out. Were his dreams coming true or would they be crushed?  
****

"No, like someone special."  
****

"But Johnny-"

"I know. I was really into him and I'm trying to get over that he left, but I love you not him. I never said a word because I guess I felt it was wrong to feel this way about you. Our parents freaked when they caught us kissing after the school dance and what would they think if they knew we'd been sexually active with each other?"

"I had the same thoughts, but we're not really related. Think of me as a friend that moved in because I had nowhere else to go. Does that help?" Noah smiled in the dark, caressing Luke's cheek. His fingers slid down the front of Luke's shirt.

Luke exhaled shakily when Noah's hand swept under his shirt and rubbed a nipple with his thumb. "Yes. It helps." Luke whispered, leaning forward with his lips puckered, trying to find Noah's lips. He ended up kissing Noah's nose before he found Noah's parted lips, which invited Luke's tongue inside. Soon they were kissing; their frenzied tongues couldn't get enough.

Luke stepped back. Breathless, he said confidently, "I want to have sex with you."

"In the woods?" Noah asked with a silly look that Luke couldn't see.

"No dumbass." Luke chuckled. "At the cabin in bed with the lights on so I can see your face."

**  
"You're sure?" Noah had to ask. Was this to help Luke forget Johnny? He didn't want Luke like that. He wanted Luke's mind on him, not to ****be used as a tool to make Luke feel better.**

Luke replied passionately. "Yes! I want YOU. I only want to be with you like that."

"Why?" Noah asked insecurely.

"Because, Noah, you came back to Oakdale, to me, and now we're closer than brothers. You're mine and I'm yours."

"What are we waiting for?" Noah said excitedly. He kept Luke's hand laced with his and began the trek back to the cabin. Luke tried to match Noah stride for stride. He could tell Noah was in a hurry which put a big grin on his face.

When they reached the cabin, Luke unlocked the door and pulled Noah inside. He pressed his lips to Noah's as they blindly bumped into furniture on the way to the bedroom. Hurriedly, they undressed and bounced onto the bed to continue their kiss. They rolled over each other naked while their bodies heated up and yearned for each other.

****

"Holden! Jack! The cabin!" Lilly set the coffee pot back on the burner. They had been waiting all day for one of the many officers searching for their sons to call with good news. So far, no one had seen either one of them.

"I'm on it!" Jack said, walking to the door.  
****

"We're coming too!" Lilly stood up.  
****

"It's a three hour drive. Stay here in case they come back." Jack ordered with a stern look.

Holden disagreed, "If they haven't been seen around, they aren't in town and I doubt they'll be coming back any time soon. We ARE coming."

Jack nodded, seeing Holden was firm and not to be reckoned with. "I'll keep a man here just in case."

They hurriedly went to Jack's car and got in. It was going to be a long three hours, even if Jack sped they wouldn't get there fast enough for Lilly and Holden.

****

Noah lay sprawled on his back, grinning impishly, while Luke feasted on the naked, enticing body before him. Luke knelt on the bed, leaning over Noah's chest and made circular motions and swipes with his tongue on an eager nipple to force it to become erect. He used his teeth to pluck at it, making Noah grunt his pleasure. He felt strong arms encase him and became energized. He raised his head and received a naughty wink from Noah.

"Jeezus" Luke whispered, tempted by the look in Noah's eyes. Noah's tongue peeked out from his perfect lips, licking then slowly and sexily. Luke lurched forward; his mouth meeting the moisture on Noah's mouth before consuming each others possessive, sensuous kisses. Luke pulled back, his head spinning and his body aching with **thoughts of lust and sex. Fire coursed through his veins as the images of what he wanted to do to Noah became vivid in his mind.**

**  
"Damn" Noah whispered, gathering a substantial breath. He felt the power of their love in that drawn out make out session and he painfully longed for more. He looked into Luke's eyes and smiled, seeing flames of desire in the green flecks among the brown. "Did you happen to bring-"**

"I'm not stupid." Luke snickered, rising off the bed. "I take a hot guy to a remote cabin and I'm not going to bring lube? Are you kidding me?"

"I've been meaning to ask, why do you have lube anyway?"

"Masturbation. You go at it dry?"

"Yea. It doesn't bother me that I don't grease it up." Noah replied, seeing Luke hold up the tube with a huge grin. "Got it. Watch out now." he teased as he crawled on the bed next to Noah. He set the item on the pillow and gazed at the handsome boy next to him. He felt Noah tremble and asked what was wrong.

"I'm excited. I want this. I've been wanting this with you again since the first time." Noah's fingertip caressed the contours of Luke's face. "Kiss me." he said, barely moving his lips.

Luke came forward and released all his passion into a deep arousing kiss; their tongues dancing. Control was lost little by little with each lick and glide of fingers over rising nipples. When one moaned, the other answered with a moan. They drew apart at the same time with the same urgency.  
****

"Fuck me now." Noah said with a fierce look in his eyes that surprised **Luke, who nodded. Luke lubed up two long fingers to loosen Noah up. He tenderly entered Noah, scissoring his fingers to ready him.**

Noah sucked in a big breath with the initial insertion, but soon the pain was being replaced with a feeling of euphoria when Luke touched that spot with the pads of his fingers. His heart beat double time and he spoke in a loud voice, "Your cock... please!" He watched Luke shuffle and get into place, then he felt that hardness probing to get inside. Noah held his breath until Luke passed the loosened ring to enter him. Jolts of electricity raced through him, blinding him with bright white lights in his eyes when Luke poked through.

Luke entered partway, leaned over and kissed Noah fervently. He broke the kiss to hover over Noah while he glided in and out slowly to tease his prostate. Noah looked at Luke, but the blond had gone out of focus for a second because Noah had become dizzy with the feeling of Luke's cock provocatively stimulating and tantalizing his insides.

Noah voiced longingly, lustfully, "Aaaah, more, faster-"

"Anything for you." Luke said quietly, enjoying the look on Noah's face. He began rolling and grinding and rotating his hips with each intense, deep thrusting motion into Noah's electrifying body. Noah's strong thighs rode Luke's hips, squeezing tightly, his muscles trembling. He arched his back to receive and absorb each intoxicating crash into his body. He gasped, moaned and lifted his head. Luke was going fast and hard, but after a while, he slowed to a steady rhythm to kiss Noah.

Luke took pleasure in hearing Noah's erratic breathing; his own was similar, almost synchronized with Noah's. His lips moved across **Noah's before he added his tongue into the warmth of Noah's mouth. He wanted to drink in his delightful kisses. His kiss became more intense, detailed and awakened more sensations when Noah growled ****into his mouth.**

Noah opened hungrily, wanting Luke's tongue to fill his mouth. He milked it, sucked on it, played with it and when he was done, he gently bit it. After dropping his head to the pillow, he clamped down on Luke's gently sliding cock, eliciting a gorgeous moan from Luke. He smirked with the power to make Luke sound so damn sexy and did it again; this time holding onto the stiff erection longer.

"G-god" Luke mewled, throwing his head back, savoring the sensational feeling, and pulled his body a bit away. He stopped with the head of his cock barely inside Noah to prolong what they both knew was coming. Luke lowered his head to look at Noah, his tongue rimming his lips to wet them. He opened his mouth to take a deep breath, repositioned his arms to brace himself, then whispered, "I love you."

A bright grin appeared on Noah's face; it lit up his eyes, making them sparkle. "I love you too, Luke."

"Then you're gonna love this!" Luke said with absolute certainty, pressing his hips forward until they came in contact with Noah's body. Their bodies ached for more. Luke didn't want to rush this part, not until he had to. Over and over he withdrew slowly and pushed in deeply. Waves of pleasure spread and bounced off every nerve in their bodies. Their names rolled off each others tongues as desire grew for sweet release of their pent up urges.

Luke's cock seemed to get thicker and harder, swelling, knowing it was meant for pleasing Noah. Luke picked up the pace, melting Noah, liquefying him. Noah could barely hang on. His mind screamed in **rapture, 'We're making hot passionate love!' He grunted in response to his thought, his cock lifted and fell back to his stomach, twitching for contact.  
******

Their bodies were hot, wet with perspiration. Their rapid exhales cooled the others heated skin for a brief moment, then muscles working would heat it up again. Slapping of skin, breathing, gasps, moans and whimpers filled the bedroom.

Luke caught his breath long enough to say, "I'm almost there."

"Me too." Noah said through a haze of desire. "Ride me hard." he requested, running his shaking fingers through Luke's damp hair.

Luke's lopsided smile told Noah that Luke had planned to do just that. He thrust into Noah, his cock pulsating with excitement.

"Push It Deeper—Deeper Yea. Mm..... yea." Noah whimpered.

Luke made love to him- holding nothing back- affirming the love he felt for Noah. His moans were growing stronger as ecstasy unraveled. He reached the height of his pleasure and erupted.

Noah watched Luke's muscles tense, feeling the cock inside him throb- pulsing cum into his body. Luke's forehead was creased in concentration, his eyes tightly closed and his mouth wide open, gasping as his heart thundered in his chest. "Uh, Shhit!" he cried out passionately and opened his dilated eyes to look at Noah. "I fucking love you!" He exclaimed as he was slowing his hips. He looked further down and picked up Noah's leaking cock and stroked it.

**Noah's eyelids fluttered shut, his hips rose and fell, his hands clung to Luke's biceps for fear of being carried away. His breath came out heavy and hard while Luke continued to slide his hand up and down ****Noah's rock hard erection.**

"You're really hard." Luke noted, seeing how red Noah's cock was while he watched his hand rise and fall on it's shaft. "Feels good in my hand."

Noah rasped, his mouth was so dry, "Your hand feels great on my cock." He opened his eyes, seeing Luke. "Umphhh" He moaned loud just before his cock throbbed in Luke's hand. "Here it co-" he started to say, but he couldn't finish. Luke watched raptly, seeing the unrestrained and intense expression on Noah's usually relaxed face.

Noah's hips pitched high off the bed when Luke picked up speed. Luke pointed Noah's cock at his chest and saw the first shot hit Noah squarely where he'd aimed; the next consecutive shots hit dead on as well. Noah grunted as he came-- watching Luke watching him cum. Luke kept stroking until the last shots of Noah's release were weak and dribbled down his fist, then completely stopped. Noah shivered all over, spent and sated.

Luke kissed him on the lips, then pulled out slowly. He rose to his feet, left the room and came back with a washcloth. He cleaned off Noah gently and lovingly, giving him elated glances and grateful smiles. He crossed the room to put the washcloth in his bag, then came back. He laid on the bed and threw a leg over Noah's waist, kissing his shoulder and grazing his hand across Noah's chest. "I love you Noah."

Noah grinned. He turned his head and replied with love, "I love you too." then he kissed Luke's lips briefly while adjusting his body. He turned onto his side and faced Luke. "I wonder how this is going to **end."**

**"You and me, or the running away thing." Luke asked, wondering.**

"I suppose both." Noah whispered, nibbling on an ear.

"Let's not worry about that now. Let's live in the moment." Luke said amorously. "We're here, alone, naked, **very**** naked." He ran his hand along Noah's hip to his backside, resting the palm of his hand on Noah's lower back.**

Noah growled sensuously. "And hard."

"Hard?" Luke asked with his brows high.

"Ok, not hard... **very**** hard." Noah teased and captured Luke's lips with his. Kissing and moaning, they didn't hear the front door open, or the footsteps come inside that eventually were heading for the bedroom.**

They did hear Lilly calling out their names and had just enough time to pull the blankets up, covering their nudity.

Lilly opened the door and saw Luke and Noah sitting up in bed, holding the blanket just over their stomachs. "Oh god!" Lilly cried out emphatically, expressing her sense of relief that the boys were safe. She turned her head and called, " Jack, Holden— They're both here!" Luke and Noah's face registered alarm. How could they explain what they were doing naked in bed? Luke's head began to pound while he thought of a way to talk himself and Noah out of the compromising position they found themselves in. His mind was working, but not **quickly enough.**

**Holden and Jack came to the door with smiles— their pain and worry alleviated for the moment. None of the adults could be angry just yet because finding the boys was a time for celebration. Lilly and Holden walked hand in hand to the bed and kissed their sons.**

Noah spoke, his voice filled with trepidation, "Are we in a lot of trouble?" He trembled, his arms hugging Luke's arm, the one closest to him, for protection.

While Holden and Lilly explained that they were just happy to have found them, Jack walked back to the kitchen and called the station to tell Margo the boys were found safe and unharmed and to call off the search party.

Holden glanced at Lilly and back at the boys. "You'll be grounded, but we're both comforted that we found you. You know better than to run away again Noah. And Luke, I have a feeling this was your idea?"

"Yes dad. Noah had nothing to do with it. I made him come with me. I didn't want Winston to take him from us." Luke stared at the blanket covering his lap. "I think I can speak for both of us when I say we're sorry." Noah nodded emphatically with a pensive look at Holden.

Lilly sighed and crossed her arms. Slight anger surfaced because these two teens frightened her near to death with their disappearing act. "We realize that, but it's no excuse. We were out of our minds with worry. You have to come to me or your father when you have problems. You know that, both of you."

Holden had been looking around the room, seeing the boys' discarded **clothes on the floor. He squinted his eyes when he saw their boxer briefs inside their pairs of jeans. **_Oh no. Damn.... Well... I guess we need to have a talk later when we get home. I hope we got here __before they acted on their impulses._****

"Lilly," he said, knowing she hadn't seen what he saw. She probably thought they were wearing briefs and shorts under the blanket. "why don't we leave them to get dressed, then we can go home?"

"Ok." She said to her husband, then turned to the boys. She kissed the sides of their heads again and said with a grateful smile, "I'm so glad we found you both." She and Holden turned and left the bedroom, closing the door behind themselves.

Luke threw the blankets off and whooshed out a big breath. "Holy shit!"

"No shit!" Noah said, scrambling off the bed to get his clothes. "I don't think they know we had sex."

"I don't think so either otherwise they would have said something." Luke pulled his boxers and jeans up together, fastening the button and pulled up the zipper.

"I'm glad we weren't having sex when they came!"

"We were about to!" Luke bent over and picked up his shirt.

"Oh?" Noah teased, coming closer to stand in front of Luke. "Were we?"

**  
"Yes, dork." Luke chuckled, looking into Noah's vibrant blue eyes. Noah neared for a kiss, but Luke jerked his head back, speaking with ****careful pauses, "Noah, I think we—" He looked down, rubbing his lips together. "- we should cool it."**

Noah let out a very discouraging sigh. "Nooo." he whispered sadly. "I can't— I don't want to Luke. We love each other, you said so."

"I know, but what happens when we get home? Do we hide it from mom and dad? How can that possibly work?" Luke asked with tears in his eyes. "I don't want to cool it either, but there's no other way. Our parents won't let us be together. You know that."

"They might, you never know. Remember after they caught us kissing in your room? When Jack brought me back, they said they'd be open to talk about how they feel if we wanted to date. C'mon, we're not real brothers."

"I know, but... lets just wait it out. They're mad that we ran away and I don't want to make it worse by announcing we want to date." Luke said with common sense. Noah reluctantly agreed.

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 38  
~~~~~~~

A few days later, Noah and Luke came home from school in a good mood. They had been grounded and weren't allowed to go anywhere after school. They hadn't told their parents about their relationship because it wasn't really defined yet. They'd curbed their urges to kiss and fondle for talking and teasing.

"Oh good, you're home." Holden said to Noah. "We have an appointment with Mr. Hughes, our lawyer. He just called."

"About what?" Luke asked nosily. If this was regarding Noah's biological father, he wanted to go along and find out what was going on.

"This is regarding Noah's placement and his future." Lilly stated, grabbing her purse and walking to the front door. "Come along." she said to Holden and Noah.

"I'm coming too." Luke said, setting his books next to Noah's on the table.

"No. Not this time." Holden held his hand up and gazed at his son. "This is between Noah and the lawyer. We're just there to support Noah."

"Fine." Luke's mouth turned down in a pout.

"Later bro." Noah half-smiled at Luke. He wouldn't mind having Luke along, but Holden said no. They left Luke with a sad expression and drove downtown.

Luke went upstairs and laid on his bed to pass the time until Noah came back and filled him in on what he'd learned. The phone rang, interrupting Luke's hopes that Noah could stay and not go with Mr. Mayer. He rose off the bed lazily and trudged to the phone in the hall.

"Hello?"

"Princess?"

Luke's heart sped up. He said elatedly, "Oh my god! Johnny! How are you?"

"Oh, I guess alright." Johnny said with a smile. "Much better now that I hear your voice."

"How was the move? How is Atlanta? How is school? Did you make any friends yet?" Luke said in one breath.

"Whoa! Hold on there." Johnny laughed. "The move was ok. Atlanta is pretty cool. It's no Oakdale though. School is ok. I decided to be myself right off the bat. So far there's been minimal teasing, but it's nothing I can't handle with a mean look. Friends? I met a few people and we hang out, but I miss your company. How are you? Is everything ok?"

"I miss you too." Luke said. He did miss Johnny. "I'm fine. Me and Noah ran away last weekend!" He chuckled.

"What?" Johnny questioned. "Really?"

"Yes. His father wants to meet him and get to know him. He's a really bad person and I took Noah to my family's cabin up north. Of course we were found and grounded."

"Wow. You got some balls.... and I should know." Johnny snickered.

Luke laughed. They continued to talk and catch up.

At Mr. Hughes office, Noah sat between Holden and Lilly across the desk from the lawyer.

Mr. Hughes, a handsome older man, shuffled some papers and looked up, directing his gaze and eyes at Noah. "Noah Mayer, I have some news that you might find in your favor. I can file a civil suit against your father."

"What will that do?" Lilly asked interestedly, leaning forward.

Mr. Hughes answered professionally, "Noah, you will give me a statement, then go before a judge and explain your allegations and what it is you want. The judge will make the decision based on these allegations whether or not you can be emancipated from Winston Mayer. In other words, you will be 'divorced' from him and he will no longer have legal custody of you."

Noah grinned ear to ear. "I want that! I want to do this!"

Holden addressed Mr. Hughes, "What kinds of allegations can he come up with? He's never met the guy."

Mr. Hughes answered easily, "The defining facts are that he was in prison and wasn't in Noah's life. I think he has a great case."

Grins filled the room.

"I can take your statement now and file the suit today if you wish." Mr. Hughes said to Noah. "You'll remain in the Snyder's custody unless the judge rules otherwise.

"Yes!" Noah replied enthusiastically. "I'm ready to do whatever it takes.

Holden and Lilly stood up to give Noah privacy with Mr. Hughes. Holden took Lilly's arm gently and led her to the waiting room outside the office.

Luke breathed hard, if not harder than Johnny was. "Mm, I missed phone sex with you." he said, then realized what he said. _Sex? Was this a form of sex? Did I cheat on Noah? Is this cheating? Fuck!_

Johnny licked his lips noisily as he wiped his stomach off. "Me too. I love getting off with you."

Luke paused, still wondering if this was considered 'sex'.

"Luke?" Johnny asked, thinking they got disconnected or something.

"Here." Luke said with a forced smile. He grabbed the wad of tissues he'd set next to himself and cleaned off his stomach; he was still laying on the floor in the hall. "Me too."

"God I came so hard listening to your play by play of what you were doing to your dick, then when you told me you were playing with your asshole, ahhhhh, shit that was hot. I've never done that, but I think I'm really willing to try now- hearing how long your orgasm was." Johnny said without reservation. "You could make me cum again in a matter of minutes."

Luke was feeling incredibly guilty. He chuckled nervously and it didn't escape Johnny's ears that something was wrong.

"Hey princess, what's up?" he asked worriedly.

"Um, just wondering about Noah." Luke said covering his ass- pretty, well too.

"You really love him, don't you?" Johnny questioned, meaning in a brotherly way.

Luke couldn't deny it. He knew what Johnny meant. "Yes, I really do." He replied, meaning the non-brotherly way.

"I get it. I don't blame you. I hope he gets to stay with your family."

"Thanks, me too." Luke stood up. He held the phone with his shoulder and cheek as he pulled up his pants. "I guess I should go. They'll be home soon."

"Wait, want my number?"

"Oh, sure. Let me get some paper and a pen." Luke said, putting the phone on the table and running to his room. He came back breathless and picked up. "You there?"

"Yup. It's-" Johnny recited his home number and new cell number. "Call me anytime you want to talk or get off." he snickered.

"I will." Luke said, intending to call just to talk. Was getting off together cheating or not? Wasn't it just masturbating together? Neither one of them actually 'touched' one another, obviously. How could it be cheating? "Talk to you later."

"Sure princess. Bye, and tell Noah I said hi." Johnny said kindheartedly.

Luke bit his lip, he really felt lonely now. He missed Johnny, but he loved Noah. "I will. Bye." Luke put the phone on the cradle and went downstairs to wait for his family to get home. He sat on the couch and turned the tv to the 'gay and lesbian' channel and watched a movie that was half over-- about a father who was in the closet and attracted to his college-aged son's gay friend. Before he found out what happened at the end, the front door opened and lively voices carried to the living room. He stood up and ran to the kitchen where his parents and Noah had gathered.

"What happened?" Luke smiled, sensing that the outcome with the lawyer went well.

Noah quickly walked to Luke, hugged him, lifted him and spun him around while laughing; he had forgotten where he was for the moment. He put Luke down as a sober look crossed his face. "Sorry." he said to everyone.

"It's ok." Lilly smiled and patted his shoulder. "You have every right to be happy. Luke, Noah filed a suit against Winston Mayer. If the judge decides he has a good case and rules in his favor, we'll be able to adopt him. Isn't that great?"

Luke and Noah shared a horrified look. Holden caught it and addressed Lilly. "I'm not so sure we should do that. We can keep him in our care as our foster child."

Lilly frowned and crossed her arms. "Why? We've wanted to adopt him— when he was little and when he came back!" She turned to Noah and asked, "You want this, don't you Noah?"

"I- um..." Noah ducked his head.

"Noah?" Lilly asked. Holden decided to force this into the open. There was no way around it and Lilly wouldn't understand his view about not adopting Noah until she was enlightened.

"Let's all have a seat at the table. I think we need to talk about this openly and honestly." He looked at Luke and nodded, but Luke didn't understand the gesture.

Lilly and Holden sat next to each other, across from their sons. Holden rubbed his chin while dividing his gaze between Luke and Noah. "Well boys, I think it's time to come clean."

"Wh-What?" Luke asked, glancing nervously at Noah. Noah took Luke's hand under the table and ran his thumb over the top of it, caressing him.

"I think you know what I'm talking about. We'd like to hear it from both of you." Holden said seriously without faltering.

"What is this?" Lilly asked, puzzled. "What do you know that I don't?"

"Boys?" Holden urged them to speak with another nod of encouragement.

Noah closed his eyes and inhaled. When he opened them, he said, "Luke and I are... we're..."

"Seeing each other." Luke finished for Noah.

Lilly was silent for a moment, studying the teens. "I see, and this is why we shouldn't adopt Noah— because they will be brothers by law then."

"Yes." Luke said, trying not to feel ashamed, but he did. Noah kept holding his hand and squeezing it to comfort Luke and because he was afraid that Lilly would object.

"Alright." Lilly got up and threw her hands in the air. "I don't mind as long as everyone is happy. Are you?" She looked at Luke and Noah; they both nodded. "Then I'm happy." she said, trying to smile. She'd have to let this sink in for a day or so. It wasn't that Luke and Noah were seeing each other, but that she wanted to adopt Noah. Now she couldn't and that made her a little disheartened. She left the kitchen to tend to some business in the home office.

Luke and Noah untangled their fingers and began to rise.

Holden spoke up. "Just a minute boys. Sit down, please."

Luke and Noah lowered themselves to their chairs and looked expectantly at their dad.

"When I came into the bedroom at the cabin last weekend, I noticed something."

Luke and Noah turned bright red. The heat from their faces could warm the kitchen in the middle of winter.

Luke gulped. Noah swallowed.

"I'm not trying to embarrass or humiliate either of you, but we have to talk." Holden said with an arched eyebrow. "I know you're teen-aged boys and your... ah, how do I say this? You're both running on hormones."

"Dad." Luke moaned. Noah groaned, scrunching up his face, knowing what was coming.

"No, listen to me." Holden stated sternly. "I **know** that you and Noah must have had... must have 'been' together."

Luke and Noah both hung their heads feeling even more embarrassed.

"What I want to tell you both is that you still need to use protection, however, I'd prefer you to refrain from sleeping with each other. I understand how things can get heated and go further, but you're both young. You don't need sex complicating your lives. Trust me, I've been there and done that."

Luke and Noah both nodded with their heads down.

"Understand?"

"Yes." Luke and Noah whispered.

"Come on guys." Holden said in a happier tone. "I'm not saying you can't date. I want you both to be happy— you really don't need sex to enjoy being with each other. Go bowling, read with each other, make a meal together."

Luke started to giggle. _That stuff is supposed to satisfy our sexual desires? Cooking? Maybe cooking naked!_

Holden sighed. "Ok, so maybe those aren't your idea of having fun, but there are other things to do together that doesn't involve being naked."

"God." Noah rolled his head back, staring at the ceiling.

Holden chuckled. "Alright. Enough of the sermon. You can go, but the rule is that neither of you are to have your bedroom door closed when the other is with you."

"Got it." Luke said, putting his hands on the table and pushing himself out of the chair.

"Me too." Noah said, getting up.

"Good, now go do something. Homework or whatever. I'm going to talk to your mom."

Luke looked at Noah and mumbled, "I have to talk to you about something. Can we go somewhere and talk?"

Noah nodded. "Where?"

"Upstairs, in your room with the door open." Luke sucked in his bottom lip, chewing on it. He had to tell Noah that Johnny called. He wanted to tell him the truth and not hide this from him.

Luke walked into Noah's bedroom and turned toward him. Noah was right there to grab his arms and pull him to his body. He gazed into Luke's eyes just before he kissed him. "I've been wanting to do that for so long." He smiled, raising his hand to touch Luke's lips with his fingertips. "I love your lips, the taste, the feel of them, the way they make mine feel."

Luke closed his eyes to shut out the look of love in Noah's eyes. "Sit on the bed, please." he said softly.

Noah did and waited for Luke to speak. "Sit next to me." Noah patted the bed.

Luke took a seat and folded his arms across his chest in a fearful manner. He glanced at Noah, then at the floor.

"You don't want to be with me anymore, right?" Noah asked quietly; he figured this day would come.

"It's not that." Luke said, then clarified, "Johnny called today, he says hi."

"Oh? How is he doing?"

"Fine." Luke said, then fell silent.

"You miss him." Noah stated. It was obvious.

"Yes."

"It's ok. You were a couple for a while and became very close." Noah wrapped his arm around Luke's shoulders. "What did you talk about?"

"Nothing much, but..." Luke's voice trailed off.

Noah waited, anxiety was growing each minute Luke didn't speak. "Is he moving back here?"

Luke shook his head. "No, nothing like that."

The tightening in Noah's stomach told him that something was wrong. He hesitantly questioned, "Then what is it? Tell me." His eyebrows drew together, then raised and furrowed again while he licked his lips, troubled why Luke looked so guilty.

"I— We—" Luke looked at Noah shyly. "We got... got off together... on the phone." he accidentally winced shamefully, admitting his wrong-doing with a remorseful look plastered on his face.

Noah's arm dropped off Luke's shoulders. "Oh. Wow. I didn't expect that. Man." He couldn't look at Luke and stood up.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how-"

"Stop it! You DO know how it happened. I'm not naïve." Noah said, walking across his room to the window.

"I guess you're right, but I AM sorry."

"You're sorry? Sorry? You and Johnny sexually stimulated each other over the phone. How could—" Noah shook his head. He raised his arm, put his hand flat on the window he was looking out of and rested his forehead on it. He asked with a quietness that made tears form in Luke's eyes. "Did you cum?"

Luke hesitated knowing he was hurting Noah. "Yea." he muttered and lowered his eyes.

Noah choked back a sob. "You 'came' while you listened to him talk dirty to you. I don't know who you are Luke. You said you loved me." His voice scratched when his throat squeezed shut. He blinked away his tears.

Luke got up and quickly walked to Noah. He touched his shoulder and said truthfully, "I DO love you."

Noah turned around, not caring if Luke saw his tears or his trembling lips. He was too hurt to be angry right now and spoke in a grief-stricken tone, "But you cheated on me. You **don't** love me. Remember how you put conditions on Johnny— no touching girls, no kissing them.... all of that? Well this thing that you did with him is an unspoken rule that everyone who is dating anyone knows. Getting off with someone other than me is wrong."

"I know that now. I was worried about what was happening at the lawyer's office. I guess I needed release." Luke tried to explain, but it made things worse.

"You could have got off by yourself in your room or waited for me to come home. You let your ex-boyfriend talk you through your orgasm- something that's intimate and sacred." Noah pushed Luke away and hung his head. "Go away, I can't look at you."

"Noah, please." Luke stepped back to him, only to be shoved away.

"Ok, I'll give you some time, but please listen to me, I'm sorry. I told you because I didn't want to keep this a secret. I do love you." he said, walking backwards to the open door. "Talk to you later."

Noah turned back to the window, contemplating his dilemma. 

**Memories of Luke**  
Chapter- 39 the end

For the rest of the week, Noah chose to sit in a seat on the bus by himself, leaving Luke to sit alone as well. Bailey and Alan continued to sit together, laughing and talking to each other, that is until Friday on the way to school.

Bailey leaned forward to the seat in front of her and Alan. "What is up with you and Noah? Did you have a fight or something?" she asked Luke.

"Yup." Luke answered without turning around or elaborating.

Bailey sat back and shrugged at Alan. Alan turned around and addressed Noah. "What did you and Luke fight about?"

Noah's eyes cut to Alan's. "Stuff." he replied in such a way that Alan knew to leave him alone.

Luke and Noah didn't even sit together at lunch. They sat across from each other so their elbows and legs wouldn't accidentally touch. They hadn't spoken to each other either, but not for lack of Luke trying. He was so apologetic, but Noah had really been hurt.

After lunch, Noah let Luke go to the locker first so he didn't have to be near him. When Luke left, he walked to the locker, opened it and took out his books. He closed the door and turned, seeing Andy approach him.

"Hi Noah, how's it going with that certain guy you were hung up on?" Andy said with a nice smile.

"Oh him? Long story." Noah shook his head with pessimism.

"Well, I'm a good listener if you want to talk. We could go to the diner after school, that is, if you're not busy." Andy suggested.

Noah glanced up with a look of caution.

Andy laughed at the look he was receiving. "Just friends, Noah. I'm not trying to get laid."

"Ok." Noah laughed with ease. "Thanks, I mean, I really need someone to talk to and you're the first person that seems to care."

"I care." Andy stated, then gave him a cute smile. "You're a person with feelings, not to mention a great body."

Noah reddened with the outspoken compliment.

"I'll meet you out front after the last bell, ok?" Andy touched Noah's arm.

Noah nodded, "See ya then." He watched Andy walk away and smiled. He was finally going to get this off his chest. He had thought about calling Lee to talk about it, but his friend wouldn't understand the situation, not to mention how he had feelings for his brother. Alan might understand, but he didn't want to bother him with this. He definitely couldn't talk to his parents! Andy would be perfect to talk to.... _Hmm-_ Noah thought. _I could give Luke a large dose of his own medicine! See how he reacts when he hears about me going with Andy to the diner. I won't tell him it's a friendly meeting, I'll let him __assume it's a date. That will show him! He'll understand how I feel cheated on!_

-~-

At the end of the day, Noah was standing on the sidewalk, watching Andy approach him with a grin. He smiled back and said, "Hi."

Andy stopped in front of Noah and addressed him, "Hi, ready to go?"

Noah looked around, searching for Luke. "Not yet. I have to tell my brother that I'm not riding the bus. Do you mind waiting?"

"Not at all." Andy said, turning toward the school's front doors. He saw the sparkle of a large ring in the sun and pointed. "There he is."

Noah covered his eyes from the bright sun and saw Luke taking the steps one by one. "Good." He smirked and stood a little closer to Andy when Luke approached him. "Luke." Noah said in an artificial friendly tone. "I going out with Andy. Tell mom and dad I won't be home until later, I'm not sure what time."

Luke frowned at his brother. His eyes became green with envy. With jealousy lacing his words, he spat, "You can't. You're grounded, remember?"

He took Luke's arm and pulled him aside, away from Andy. He whispered forcefully, "Tell them I'm doing research on a project, tell them I'm getting tutored. Lie, you're good at that, aren't you?"

"I didn't lie to you, asshole." Luke grumbled under his breath. "I was honest."

"Oh that's right. You didn't lie," Noah nodded. "you cheated, same thing." He scowled and walked back to Andy. "I'm raring to go Andy." he said, glancing at Luke with a confident smile.

Luke hadn't known he could harbor so much jealously. He was ready to hit someone right in the face. He held back his frustration and went to stand in line to board the bus. He needed help, he knew that now. He ******had** to get Noah back any way he could; he wanted Noah to trust him again.

When he was seated on the bus, he tapped Alan on the shoulder. "I need to talk to you. It's really important. Can you come over? I'm still grounded, so I can't come to your place."

"Yea." Alan nodded, taking Bailey's hand and holding it. He said to her, "Remember our date tonight. 7pm."

"How can I forget?" Bailey grinned. "I've been looking forward to it all week!"

"What are you doing tonight?" Luke asked.

"I'm taking her to a play at the concert hall and theater. We're dressing up to the nine's." Alan grinned.

"Wow." Luke said, awed. "You're serious about each other."

"Of course." Bailey giggled. "We're in love." said, making eyes at Alan.

Luke nodded. "Cool." he said softly. Alan could help him- he knew what love was. Maybe Alan would know how to help him?

Andy and Noah decided to share a plate of fries and a bacon cheeseburger. Andy sipped his cola as Noah whispered that he and Luke weren't technically brothers and had been in a relationship. Andy didn't think it was a big deal that Noah and Luke dated and told Noah.

"Well, thanks for being open-minded, but there's more." Noah said, picking at the mound of french fries.

"Ok. I'm listening. Shoot when you're ready." Andy said kindly and bit into his half of the burger.

"The thing is... Luke had a boyfriend before he and I got together."

"I remember. You told me the guy you liked, who is Luke, was dating someone."

Noah's eyes raised. He licked the corner of his mouth and nodded. "Yea. So the guy moved, but he called Luke earlier in the week. They got each other off on the phone."

A crazed look on Andy's face made Noah lower his eyes to his plate.

"Noah!" Andy whispered loudly. "Are you kidding?"

"No."

"Why did he do that? I thought you said you love each other?"

"That's what I said to him- word for word." Noah mumbled.

"Shit, that's fubar!" Andy shook his head, gazing at Noah with sympathy.

"A what?" Noah asked naïvely.

"Fubar. It means fucked up beyond all repair." Andy chuckled, not at Noah, but at the acronym.

"It's definitely fubar." Noah confirmed. "What do I do?" He picked up a fry and dipped it in barbecue sauce.

"You're talking about it with me and thinking about him, so that means you still love him- otherwise you wouldn't let it keep nagging at you- you'd forget about him if it didn't bother you so much. With that being said, forgive him."

"What?" Noah asked with disbelief as he finished chewing the food in his mouth. He swallowed and asked, "Did I hear you right?"

Andy gave Noah a bright smile. "Yes. I know it's harder than it sounds, but you're sixteen Noah, you have a long life ahead of you. This is your first relationship and you can learn from it for future relationships. Be mature and quit pouting. He made one mistake."

"Damn. I can't. I feel like he ripped my heart out. He let someone get him off and I--"

"I know." Andy admitted. "It happened to me, but my boyfriend actually let someone else fuck him. He told me, expecting forgiveness because he was crying and saying over and over how sorry he was, but I couldn't get past the fact that he could be with someone else without regard for me. I know how hurt you feel, however, you have a chance to forgive Luke."

"I'm sorry that guy did that to you."

"Don't worry about it. It happened last year. I was a junior and he was in college. It probably wouldn't have gone anywhere anyway." Andy shrugged, eating the rest of his burger.

Noah looked at him. He was really attractive. Really attractive. What if he and Andy made out? He and Luke weren't together anymore. He could date Andy. He already knew the senior was attracted to him. Could he do that? No, he loved Luke so much it hurt. He shook his head and picked up his half of the burger. They both ate while continuing to talk and eat.

Luke entered his house with Alan following. "Mom, dad, Noah is with some senior guy. I don't know where they went, but they took his car." Luke tattled, hoping Noah would get in trouble and therefore he wouldn't be allowed to go out with Andy. He didn't want the senior anywhere near ******his** brother.

"What?" Lilly asked, walking to the foyer. "He's grounded!"

"I told him, but he said he didn't care, then he left." Luke said without a care in the world about lying. "He has no respect for the rules, if you ask me."

"I'll deal with him when he gets home. What are you both going to do?" she asked.

"Talk, maybe get a start on some homework." Luke answered.

"I made some cookies. Help yourselves." Lilly said and walked away.

Luke carried two cold cans of soda upstairs while Alan carried the plate of cookies. Since Alan was a friend, Luke closed the door so he could speak candidly without worrying about who heard him. He popped the top of his can and took a long drink of the sweetened, fizzy, liquid.

Alan did too and held a cookie in his other hand. He took a bite and asked with his mouth full, "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Luke laughed when crumbs flew from Alan's mouth. "Dude." he said, pretending to brush cookie crumbs off his shirt.

"I can be the normal 'me' around you. With Bailey, I have to be neat and proper."

"You never were before."

"She wasn't my girlfriend before. There's certain expectations that come with being a boyfriend. You should know that." Alan commented, watching every move Luke made.

"I do.... now." Luke set his can on the end-table and sat on his bed. Alan put his can next to Luke's and sat next to him.

"Tell me what's bothering you. Why are you and Noah not on speaking terms?"

"Don't flip out on me." Luke glanced at Alan. "Promise me."

Alan chuckled. "Dude, I won't." He nudged Luke with his shoulder.

"Ok. I trust you." Luke said, looking into Alan's gorgeous eyes. "Noah and I... we... blaaaa." Luke turned away, unable to finish.

Alan drew his brows together. "Did you date and break up?"

Luke's head shot back to Alan. "Yea, how do you know?"

"It's not too hard to figure out." Alan shrugged. "Why did you break up?"

Luke chewed the inside of his cheek. How much should he tell Alan? He decided to talk and see where it took him. "Johnny called me. We talked and.... um, it turns out I cheated on Noah."

Alan was really confused. "By talking to your ex-boyfriend? That's not cheating."

"It is when you 'get off' together." Luke lowered his head, embarrassed by his act with Johnny and by telling his straight friend.

"Oh. Yea, I can kind of see how that's cheating. How did Noah find out though?" Alan asked. "Did you tell him?"

"Yes, I didn't want to lie." Luke picked up a cookie and raised it to his mouth. What he did to Noah made him lose his appetite. He dropped the cookie back on the plate and sighed unhappily.

"Hm. You did the right thing, I guess." Alan responded. "No wonder he isn't talking to you."

"Now he's on a date with ******Andy**." Luke wrinkled his nose.

Alan snickered, "You're so jealous."

Luke nodded. "I wish I knew where they went. I'd sabotage their date."

"No you wouldn't. No matter what, you want Noah to be happy."

"I know he's not happy with Andy."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!" Luke said firmly with a convinced look on his face. "We love each other, we've said it, we've even had sex!" Luke quickly clamped his open hand over his mouth and widened his eyes.

Alan's mouth fell open with astonishment.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to blurt that out." Luke felt sickened because of the image he may have put in Alan's head.

"You had sex with a guy... that's so...... odd." Alan said softly, envisioning how 'what' went 'where'. "I wish I could ask you what it was like because I'd definitely want to know if you had sex with a girl, but spare me the details between you and Noah and I'll be just fine." Alan smiled.

"I wouldn't tell you either way, but it was awesome!" Luke boasted. "I need you to tell me how to get him back. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to him, but he ignores me."

Alan scratched his head. "I don't really know. You've apologized and done everything you can?" He shrugged and added, "I guess leave him alone. He could need time to get over what you did, but I don't see why it's taking him so long, it was over the phone."

"No, I get why. I just wish he wasn't out on a date!" Luke became flustered and angry. "He has no right going out with someone when we haven't resolved this thing between us."

Alan didn't know what to say, and if he could think of something, would Luke even listen to him? He sat in the silence, contemplating Luke's situation.

Luke's mind was fixated on Noah. _Is Noah attracted to Andy? He is good looking and a senior. He's confident and drives a nice car. _He began to feel inferior to Andy. _Noah has to be infatuated with him. They danced at the school and Noah went out on a date with him before. I wonder if they're kissing. I don't want anyone kissing Noah! Can I blame him though? I'm a horrible person. Why did I do that with Johnny to begin with? God I'm so stupid! I lost the one person I've ever loved!_ He put himself in a miserable mood and said to Alan with grief, "I'm desperate. I don't stand a chance if Noah keeps dating him."

"Tell him how you feel—" Alan tried to talk.

"I have!" Luke cried woefully. "He won't listen. He won't look at me."

"Sorry Luke, I don't have any advice." Alan shook his head. Why couldn't he think of a solution to Luke's problem? He glanced at Luke and saw how unhappy he was. It only made him feel worse.

"It's ok. I didn't really expect an instant fix anyway." Luke's eyes clouded over.

Alan stood up before he held out his hand to Luke, pulling him to his feet. He hugged him, which Luke welcomed.

"Thanks man." Luke stepped back.

"Anytime. I don't mind giving hugs." Alan smiled. "Um, as long as you keep your junk away from mine." he chuckled, teasing Luke.

"You won't hear me complain." Luke gave him a small smile. "Want me to walk you to the door?"

Alan took his half full can of soda and another cookie. "Nope, I'm good."

Luke said goodbye, then closed his door after Alan stepped into the hall. Several ideas came to him now that he was alone. He'd have to pick one and go with it, but which one? He needed a guarantee it would work. He'd just have to chose one and go into it blindly by talking to Noah and making up actions as he went along- once he got a feel for Noah's mood. Who knows, Noah may come home and announce that Andy is his boyfriend.

-~-

Noah thanked Andy for his advice and treating him to the food at the diner. He stepped out of the car, waved and went to the front door of his home. When he entered, Lilly was waiting with her arms crossed angrily.

"Where were you?" she asked with a deep frown. "You were grounded, you're supposed to come ******right** home, not go out with someone."

_Luke narked on me? Crap! Now I'm in trouble with mom and dad. I want to have a few choice words with that prick! Just goes to show, I can't trust him._ Noah said softly, looking at Lilly's face with honest eyes, "I was having trouble with something and I needed to talk to someone who could give me sound advice."

Lilly sighed and gave in. "Alright, but next time, you have to call. No more disappearing acts."

"Ok I promise." Noah said, hugging his mom. "Sorry I made you mad."

Lilly's hand cupped Noah's cheek. "I know honey." She smiled lovingly. "Go on now, dinner will be at six."

Noah took the stairs slowly, fighting the anger he felt for Luke. Like Andy told him on the way home, 'Keep things in perspective'. The one stair creaked when he stepped on it. He bit his lip, looking at Luke's room, but decided to go to his room instead. He had the whole night to talk to Luke. He passed the bathroom and walked into his room, then hitched his breath loudly.

Luke turned away from Noah's open closet and smiled. "Hi!" he said exuberantly, pointing behind himself. "I wanted to borrow a shirt, but I can't find the one I was looking for, it must be in the wash.

Noah's eyes left Luke's face and dragged down Luke's naked torso to the yellow, fluffy towel wrapped around his small waist. "Wh-What shirt?" he stammered, looking back up and seeing drops of water fall from the ends of Luke's blond hair.

Luke shrugged as he walked toward Noah. "Doesn't matter." he said, intentionally sucking in his stomach to loosen the towel. It fell to the floor in slow motion, but Luke didn't care, nor did he bend over to pick it up OR cover his sex with his hands. He watched Noah's surprised expression with a satisfied smirk on his face. Tempting Noah was one of the ideas he'd thought of to make Noah forget about Andy. So far, it seemed to be working.

"Um-" Noah couldn't take his eyes off Luke. He blinked rapidly, asking, "What a-are you d-doing?"

Luke replied nonchalantly and unembarrassed, "I was going to get dressed. Why?" he noticed that Noah's breathing had become shallow so he looked down. Noah was hard! His own cock began to grow, but he didn't care about that. He wanted to take care of Noah, whatever it took. He strode to the open door and closed it quietly, then locked it and turned around.

"You shouldn't do that. Mom and dad's rules."

"Ya know what? I took a shower and want to dress in private, that's all. They'd understand." Luke sauntered to Noah. He ran his hands down Noah's chest to his waist while lowering himself onto his knees.

Noah's eyes followed Luke down. He whispered, "Luke?"

"Shh." Luke said with his finger on his lips. His big eyes left Noah's blue ones to concentrate on the groin in front of his face. He yanked the button fly and tugged down the jeans and obstructing boxer briefs. "Shit Noah. What is it with you?" Luke looked up with a grin.

Noah admitted without humiliation, "I feel close to you when I wear your underwear-- even when I'm mad at you I want part of you near me."

"Well, it's a turn on for me." Luke said, leaning forward and taking a wet lick on the underside of Noah's erection. Noah gasped with the erotic feeling, but Luke stopped tasting him and rose his hand to hold Noah's cock by the base.

"Before I go any further, I need to know.... are you dating Andy? Did you make out or have sex?"

Noah said a little too loudly, "Are you nuts? I don't know him that well."

"You don't know me that well."

Noah whispered with conviction, "Yes I do!"

"Ok, maybe you do, but you still didn't answer my question." Luke looked up from the floor; his eyes wide with concern— one hand on Noah's cock and the other on his hip.

Noah answered calmly, seeing that Luke was genuinely worried. "No, of course not. You and I had a fight. I needed to talk about it and I did and I got some good advice."

"From Andy?"

"Yup."

"So.... He said what, exactly?"

"To forgive you and I think I can."

Luke grinned. "Cool, so I don't have to finish—" he teased.

"I wanna see you try to get out it. Finish me." Noah snickered, thrusting his groin to Luke's face. "Make it fast too, before mom comes up.

Luke did make it fast. He swallowed Noah's release while pumping Noah's cock and his own. He jerked twice and came on Noah's bare feet, then pulled the softening cock from his mouth. "Looks like you need a shower." he said, seeing his cum run down the top of Noah's feet to his toes.

"No. Lick it off." Noah said, seemingly serious, and held out his foot to Luke.

"Not a chance, boy. I'm not into feet. Blech." Luke stuck out his tongue while making a sour looking face.

Noah laughed and confessed he was just kidding around. He cleaned up his feet with a discarded tee shirt and pulled up his pants. Luke grabbed jeans, boxers and a shirt from Noah's room and put everything on. The jeans were a little long because Noah was taller, but everything else fit.

Noah patted Luke on the back as they walked down the hall to the stairs. "Thanks and I do forgive you... just... no more stuff like that again, ok?

"I promise." Luke replied. "I have another confession. I talked to Alan about us. I wanted some advice as well."

"So you on your knees was his idea?" Noah questioned with hurt. Luke couldn't think of this himself? He was acting on Alan's suggestion? That almost hurt more than the phone sex.

"No! It was my idea- all of it. No, Alan had no advice whatsoever."

"I like the way you think, Luke."

"I like the way you kiss." Luke came close. He palmed Noah's face and laid a sweet, heartfelt kiss on his soft, supple lips.

Noah stood up to address the judge. He anxiously cast a worried glance at the man who had called himself 'father' for the first two years of Noah's life and saw a lack of concern on his face; it was hardened, as though he didn't want to be here. Winston glared at him with a look that Noah understood was malevolence. Noah broke out in a cold sweat. Looking away quickly, he gained confidence when his eyes rested on Luke, who was nodding and giving him a cute lopsided smile. He looked at his parents and received looks of admiration and love. He turned and looked at Judge Harrison, a refined and respectable looking woman. He hoped she'd be lenient and rule in his favor. He knew Mr. Hughes had been in contact with her more than once, but why? Noah wasn't privy to that information.

Winston Mayer's lawyer whispered to him in an authoritative tone, "Act interested and lose the disinterested look. I know you were told by your parole officer to have a relationship with Noah for appearances, but this lack of concern whether you get custody or not shows how emotionally detached you are from him."

"Look here." Winston whispered back with a tone of indifference, "I don't give a damn about the kid. I don't give a damn what happens to him. I don't need no fucking adolescent in my life." His tongue had a taste of disgust on it from just mentioning he had a child. He didn't want to acknowledge Noah or have anything to do with the teen.

"Then why are you even here?" the lawyer asked.

"You know why." Winston said coldly.

_Because you're an asshole and you want to fight for something you have no interest in just to cause problems with the Snyder's who are a loving family and will provide Noah the stability and love he needs to grow up to be a kindhearted man. You're such a bastard!_ The lawyer thought to himself, but replied, "You think it'll help your case in the future if you get into anymore trouble because you're trying to raise a child, that is if you win this. If you care about Noah, if you have a heart, you'll drop this. Do you really want to win and take care of him?"

"No!" Winston stated. "But I need to win. The kid is a guarantee I'll get lenience the next time I fuck up. Whether it's a fight with someone or if I go to jail for some stupid misdemeanor, he's my ticket."

The lawyer shook his head. It wasn't his job to preach to his client, but he did not like Winston one bit. He was a user and didn't care who he hurt along the way. He and Winston tuned in to what Noah and Judge Harrison were talking about. Noah was stating how he felt the Snyder's had his best interest at heart and they provided for him. He mentioned that he didn't know Winston and had no connection to him, nor did he want to. He wanted to stay in the two parent home with his brother. He felt loved and at home there.

Noah sat on the chair next to Mr. Hughes, who patted him on the back.

Luke leaned forward from the bench behind his brother and whispered optimistically, "Good job Noah."

"Mr. Mayer, please state your case." Judge Harrison announced.

Winston sighed, recalling what his lawyer told him to say, but he disregarded it. He knew he could persuade the judge in his own words. He was smarter than any lawyer. If lawyers were so smart, he wouldn't have done time for killing his wife and unborn child. Noah had been lucky he was with his wife's sister when Charlene made him furious enough to kill her.

Winston stood up and glanced at Noah and the Snyders with disrespect. He said two sentences with a dull and aloof tone in his voice, "Noah is my son by blood. He belongs to..." He shook his head and corrected himself. "He belongs ******with** me, your honor."

Judge Harrison raised her brows and took a moment to eye Winston, carefully appraising the situation. There was Winston who looked smug, then there were the Snyder's who were smiling and supportive of Noah. The decision wasn't a hard one. She couldn't in good conscious let Noah live with Winston, not by a long shot. She banged her gavel and got the attention of everyone in the room. She noted that the Snyders were on the edge of their seats looking anxious. She was sure they were crossing their fingers. Winston was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, not even paying attention. He was looking out the window with a stoic look on his face, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

Judge Harrison cleared her throat and said with compassion for Noah, "I am very sympathetic to the hardships you've had to endure for most of your life, Noah. You have been through circumstances that most of us would have felt like throwing in the towel and giving up. You deserve a rest. A loving home that you can take solace in. in my opinion, this was a very easy choice."

The Snyder's and Noah knew what was coming. Butterflies seemed to swarm in their bellies.

"I rule in your favor, Noah Mayer. You are emancipated from Winston Mayer. Holden and Lilly Snyder, all parental rights regarding Noah Mayer now belong to you. Congratulations." She smiled, pleased, at Noah and his family when they stood up and hugged each other.

Noah took a moment to turn away from his family. "Thank you!" he said to the judge with gratitude.

Winston scoffed and looked at his lawyer, who was smiling at the Snyders. "You're useless." he said to him and walked out of the courtroom.

Mr. Hughes and Winston's lawyer shook hands. Winston's lawyer stated, "Good show. I'm happy Noah has a great home."

"You didn't try very hard, did you." Mr. Hughes smirked. "I owe you one."

"Nah, forget about it. I couldn't stand the guy." Winston's lawyer chuckled, grabbed his briefcase and walked out with Mr. Hughes after the Snyders thanked him.

"This calls for a celebration!" Lilly couldn't stop smiling. She gave Noah a big, tight hug and stated, "We're going all out and calling everyone to meet at the Lakeview tonight."

"Noah," Holden said patting Noah's back, "We're so happy to have you as part of our family. We'll let you and Luke talk. Meet us at the car, but don't take too long."

"Ok." Noah and Luke said together. When Lilly and Holden left the building, they turned to each other.

"It's official! You belong with us!" Luke said enthusiastically, then clucked his tongue before he asked, "I wonder what we should do about school."

"What do you mean?" Noah tilted his head to the right, wondering what Luke was getting at.

"About you and me. Do we act like we're.... you know." Luke hinted.

Noah thought Luke didn't want to be seen with him. The ecstatic face he'd been wearing because of the judges ruling left his face. "I thought we're seeing each other?"

"Seeing, dating... whatever." Luke shrugged, smiling.

Noah kept his smile to himself. What was Luke saying? He had a remote idea, but he wanted Luke to say it. Declare it.

Luke took Noah's hand and laced their fingers. He breathed, asking, "Are we more than that? Because I want to be. I want more than anything to be your boyfriend."

The smile Noah had been hiding appeared on his face. "Consider it done." He said and kissed Luke's forehead.

THE END

~~~~~~


End file.
